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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    The Navi Ending Story

    | Hobart, Tasmania, Australia | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Movies & TV, Top

    (An elderly couple is doing their grocery shopping and among their items is the ‘Avatar’ DVD.)

    Me: “Oh, you are buying Avatar. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’ve heard really good things about it. ”

    Elderly Woman: “Oh, that’s nice. Our grandchildren told us to watch it. ”

    (We keep talking about the movie for the rest of the transaction.)

    Elderly Woman: “I’ll tell you what: if we don’t like it, we’ll come back in and give it too you so you can watch it.”

    (Next day…)

    Elderly Man: “We started watching Avatar yesterday. We didn’t get very far into it as we weren’t enjoying it much. We are going to try finishing it tonight.”

    (A couple of days later…)

    Elderly Man: “Well, we tried watching it twice. We really didn’t like it. If are you working tomorrow morning, I’ll bring it in for you.”

    Me: “I’m afraid I’m only working in the afternoon.”

    Elderly man: “Okay, we’ll leave it at the front desk for you to collect when you come in.”

    (I buy them a box of chocolates as a thank you and leave it at the desk with my co-worker.)

    Co-worker: “The elderly couple left the DVD for you, and they were ecstatic with the chocolates. The lady hadn’t received anything for Mother’s Day, so she said it made her week!”

    No Proof In Purchase

    | Wiltshire, England, UK | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging, School

    (We have a school prom in our function room. Whenever we have a prom, we run a ‘dry’ bar. We will not serve the students at the main bar. One of the teachers approaches the bar and slams a bottle down on the counter.)

    Teacher: “I just took this from one of my students. He is 16!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s—”

    Teacher: “This is a disgrace; you’ve broken the law. Who served him! Was it you?”

    Me: “It’s a—”

    Teacher: “I want to speak to your manager.”

    Me: “I understand why you’re upset, but—”

    Teacher: “We won’t have another prom here! Selling alcohol to kids—”

    Me: “It’s a non alcoholic beer. There is no alcohol behind the bar tonight and no one here would serve anyone underage anyway.”

    Teacher: “Oh, God. I’m so sorry. I’d better give this back to him.”

    Worst Superhero Name Ever

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work at the meat/seafood counter of my store. I greet my first customer of the day.)

    Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a six lb. rib roast, please.”

    Me: “Certainly. Let me go and pass your order on to the butcher.”

    (I go back into the cutting room. The butcher says it will take about ten minutes because of the other order he has to fill first. I go back to the counter.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, he can have your order ready in ten minutes. If you want, you can do some more shopping and come back later. We’ll set your order up here on the counter when it’s ready for you.”

    Customer: “Are you being a smart-a**?!”

    Me: “Um… excuse me?”

    Customer: “Are. You. Being. A. Smart-a**!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what the problem is.”

    Customer: *in a mocking tone* “Oh, look at me! I’m Mr. Big Shot Meat Guy! I’ll put your order right up here on the counter! Right here, all nice and neat, because I’m Mr. Big Shot Meat Guy!”

    Me: “Uh… that’s just what we do, ma’am. If someone places an order we set it on the counter for them to come and pick up when it’s ready.”

    (She gives me the dirtiest look I’ve ever seen, and stomps away.)

    Co-worker: “Welcome to work, Mr. Big Shot Meat Guy!”

    It’s Not Spanish, But Just Roll With It

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am working the self-scanning machines.)

    Customer: “I bought two of these Chavra, but it won’t take my coupon. I’m supposed to get 75 cents off of two Chavra, but the self-scan won’t take it.”

    (Chavra is a small container of spreadable cheese. When I look at the customers order on the screen, Chavra isn’t listed.)

    Me: “You said you got two Chavra?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s correct. See, it’s right over here.” *points to two packages of Charmin toilet paper* “I got two Charmin. ‘Chavra’ in Spanish means Charmin.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this coupon is for cheese.”

    (The customer takes a long look at the coupon, and then laughs.)

    Customer: “I guess my Spanish isn’t what it used to be.”

    Throwing A Fit

    | WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (At our sub shop, when the customer orders a sub, it reaches the person who is wrapping it up. They wrap it up and then throw it back to the cashier or the customer. Usually, this is met with ‘ooh’s’ and ‘aww’s’.)

    Me: “Hello, and welcome to [subshop]. What can we get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah… can I get a one, a five, and a ten?”

    Me: “Sure. Will there be anything else today? Chips? Drinks?”

    Customer: “Nope.”

    (The first sub is made. The wrapper catches the attention of the customer, and asks if he’s willing to catch. The customer nods and catches the sub. At this point, I have him rung up.)

    Me: “That’ll be $13.05.”

    (The customer hands me his credit card. The second sub is done, and the wrapper throws it. The customer catches it and nods his thanks.)

    Me: “Okay. You’re all set! The last sub will be with you in a sec.”

    Wrapper: “Ready?”

    Customer: “Throw the sub at me again, and I’ll shove it up your a**.”

    (Shocked, we say nothing and pass the sub up the line to him. He takes it and leaves with his other subs without another word.)

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