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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Skimmed Milk, Skimmed Brain

    | Toronto, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Excuse me, I need 2% milk.”

    Me: “Yes, it’s just right there on the shelf behind you.”

    Customer: “No, not that. That’s the 2% PARTLY SKIMMED milk. I want just the regular 2% milk.”

    Me: “Oh, but all 2% milk is partly skimmed. That’s what it means.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? I don’t want that light stuff. I want just regular 2% milk.”

    Me: “All 2% milk is partly skimmed. That’s what is means.”

    Customer: “No! I buy regular 2% milk all the time at [competitor].”

    Me: “Well, you probably just never noticed the label before, but I’m sure if you do, you’ll see it says partly skimmed.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe they don’t have regular 2% milk here. What kind of grocery store is this?!”

    Celebrate Good Hearing, Come On

    , | Evans, GA, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m using the headset for the drive through.)

    Me: “Hello, thank you for choosing [restaurant]. Would you like to have one of our celebration specials today?”

    Customer: “No. So, do you all still have that celebration special?”

    Me: “Yes. Yes, we do…”

    Never Bend To Suggestions

    | Moose Jaw, SK, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive-thru at a popular fast-food restaurant. The current employee initiative is to suggest hot beverages to customers.)

    Me: “Hi! Welcome to [restaurant]. Would you like to try a hot chocolate?”

    Customer: “No, no, no, no, NO. NO. NO.”

    Me: “Okay. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “All right, I’ll have a hot chocolate.”

    Safety Before Stupid Customers

    | Utah | Food & Drink

    (I’m a delivery driver. This happens at the customer’s doorstep.)

    Me: “That will be $26.52.”

    (The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

    Me: “Ma’am, we only carry $20 in change. Do you have any smaller bills?”

    Customer: “Um, no, that’s stupid! Why don’t you carry more?”

    Me: “It’s a safety issue. Do you have a card we can put it on?”

    Customer: “How is it a safety issue for employees to give customers their change?”

    Me: “If we could carry a lot of money, and people found out, we would get robbed a lot more.”

    Customer: “So, you mean to tell me that they care more about their employees’ safety than customer service?”

    Me: “I guess so.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s bulls***!” *slams the door in my face*

    Check For Nerve Damage

    | New York, USA | Food & Drink

    (A customer orders a cold drink and a hot drink.)

    Me: “Here’s your first drink.”

    Customer: “Is this the hot or cold one?”

    (She’s holding the cup in her hand at this point, which is very obviously warm to the touch.)

    Me: *trying to not laugh* “That’s the hot drink. Your cold drink is coming right up.”


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