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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    As Thick As Pea Soup

    | Ohio, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Thank you for calling technical support. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was calling because I am having some troubles.”

    Me: “And what troubles are you having?”

    Customer: “I don’t know how much water goes into my soup.”

    (I’m about to tell her she can’t call us for stuff like this, until I realize it would be so much easier to just help her.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are there directions anywhere on the side?”

    Customer: “Oh, right.” *hangs up*

    Next They’ll Be Huffing Parmesan

    | Canberra, Australia | Food & Drink, Top

    (I have been out the back making dough before serving the customer. I haven’t had time to clean myself up a bit, so I have flour on my shirt.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: *looking at my shirt* “Can I speak to the manager right away, please?”

    Me: *confused* “Um, okay.”

    (I call the manager over.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I want to complain about this employee. He has drugs on his shirt. He should be fired immediately!”

    Manager: *joking* “But, then, where would I get my supply from?”

    Customer: *looks shocked, and then storms out of the store*

    Next customer in line: “Can I get a Hawaiian pizza on the thin base with extra drugs, please?”

    Half Cooked For The Half Minded

    | Sydney, Australia | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like half a chicken please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, we seem to be out. The next load should be ready in about 15-20 minutes.”

    Customer: “But I just want a half, not a whole one!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about the wait. As soon as they finish cooking, I will cut you one straight away.”

    Customer: “But I just want a half! Can’t you just get one out of the oven now and cut it for me?”

    Me: “Um, no. If I took one out early and cut it, it wouldn’t be cooked in the middle.”

    Customer: “But I only want a half chicken! It should take less time to cook than a whole one!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I have to wait for them to finish. I promise I will cut you one straight away.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why you’re making this so difficult for me to buy half a chicken!” *storms off*

    The Lost And Eaten

    , | Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Sometimes, customers call the store when their order is wrong. This one was a little bit more special.)

    Manager: “How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I didn’t get my food!”

    Manager: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “When I came through the drive-thru, I got my food. But when I got home it was gone!”

    Manager: “Let me get this straight. You got your food at the window?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Manager: “And it was in your car when you left?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Manager: “And it was gone when you got home?”

    Customer: “It wasn’t there anymore.”

    Manager: “So between here and home, you lost your food? How do you expect us to fix it?”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Perverted Product Previews

    | Connecticut, USA | Food & Drink

    (I am a food service specialist in a deli.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “I want a quarter pound of American cheese.”

    Me: “How is this sliced?”

    Customer: “Don’t show me the slice! And I don’t want a sample, either!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it’s just our policy.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s a stupid policy. If I were the manager, I would get rid of that.”

    Me: “Well, most people like to see the slice so they can make sure it’s what they like.”

    Customer: “What did you say? Most people want to see the slice? Well, that’s just sick!”


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