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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Pudding The P In Peculiar

    | Portland, OR, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Would you like a bag for your items?”

    Customer: “I want pudding.”

    (We’re a party store famous for giving out free popcorn, so I offer him popcorn instead.)

    Me: “I don’t have any pudding, but I can give you some free popcorn.”

    Customer: “Not good enough.”

    Me: “They both start with ‘P’.”

    Customer: “Nope!” *walks away with items in hand*

    You’ve Rubbed Me The Wrong Way

    | Aurora, Colorado, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (A customer is ordering on drive-thru.)

    Me: “Anything else I can get for you today?”

    Customer: “Five thousand dollars?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m just a cashier, not a genie. Will that be all?”

    Customer: *defeated sigh* “Yes…”

    Where There’s Smoke, There’s A Liar

    | Sacramento , CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (Keep in mind I work in a yogurt shop and we only sell yogurt and candy. An obviously underage customer comes up to be rung up.)

    Me: “Is that going to be it for you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a pack of cigarettes too?”

    Me: “This is a yogurt shop, sir.”

    Customer: “I have my ID though!”

    Me: “This is a yogurt shop. Not only do we not sell cigarettes, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to accept a fake ID.”

    Customer: *storms out muttering obscenities*

    The Ire Of The Irish

    | Maryland, USA | Food & Drink, Geography

    (I’m Irish and am working in the States one summer, waiting tables at an Irish pub/restaurant. I’m serving a couple in their 30s.)

    Customer: “Where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m from Ireland.”

    Customer: “Where’s that?”

    Me: “It’s in Europe.”

    Customer: “Oh, you’re from another country! Your English is really good!”

    Burnt To Order

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “And would you like white toast with that?”

    Customer: “No, I want black toast.”

    Me: “I don’t…I don’t think that exists, sir.”

    Customer: “BLACK TOAST.”

    Me: “Wheat it is, then, sir.”


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