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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    He’s One Slice Short Of A Pie

    , | Grand Rapids, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I have returned from delivering a pizza to the last customer of the night. Upon returning to the store, it is after closing time, so we begin cleaning and closing the store. The phone rings; we normally don’t answer the phone after closing time, but since I recognized the name on the caller ID as my last delivery, I decide to answer it.)

    Me: “Thanks for calling [restaurant]. I’m sorry we’re closed, but how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I just had a pizza delivered and there’s a problem.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. What is the problem, exactly?”

    Customer: “Well, this has got to be some sort of joke or something.”

    Me: “Okay, what is the problem?”

    Customer: “I just sat down to eat my sausage pizza, and 7 of the 8 pieces are just fine, but the 8th piece doesn’t have any sausage on it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, that shouldn’t have happened. How about I give you a $2 discount on your next purchase?”

    Customer: “Sure.”

    Me: “Okay, sorry again. Have a nice night.”

    (Before I can even turn around to walk away, the same caller ID rings again, so I answer.)

    Customer: *yelling very angrily* “I’m so mad right now! I can’t believe what I’m looking at! What, are you messing with me not putting sausage on one of the pieces of my pizza?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it was an accident. Sausages are small and round, I’m sure after they were put on the pizza they rolled around when the cheese was applied. How about instead of a $2 discount, I mark you account for a free pizza on your next order? Would that fix it for you?”

    Customer: *calm now* “Yeah, that would be great, thanks.”

    (We once again finish the call and hang up. Again before I can turn around the phone rings with the same caller ID so I answer and greet the caller.)

    Customer: “YOU MUST BE PLAYING A JOKE ON ME! This must have been done on purpose! I’m gonna come down there and cut your heads off!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir! I just wanted to remind you that you’ll get a free pizza on your next order. Is that okay?”

    Customer: *calms down again* “Yeah, thanks.”

    (I quickly got off the phone while he was calm. We then quickly locked up and went home for the night without cleaning up the store, in case he was truly coming down to cut our heads off.)

    A Free Cup Of Kindness

    | Redondo Beach, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am having a pretty rough time, and I am not looking forward to work. I work in a small taco shack near the beach. My customers are often inexplicably rude, with a few exceptions. A girl walks up to the counter, and before I can ask what she wants to order she grins at me. Her smile is so genuine, I’m speechless.)

    Girl: “How are you today?”

    (I’m really surprised at this point.)

    Me: “I’m, uh, I’m pretty good, thank you.”

    Girl: “Oh, that’s good.” *smiles again*

    Me: “Thank you… uh, what can I get you?”

    Girl: “Oh, hmm… can I have a chicken taco and small drink, please?”

    Me: “Sure, that will be 4.95.”

    Girl: *digs through her purse* “I only have $4.02. Can I take off the drink, please?”

    Me: “Oh yeah, sure.”

    (I hand her the receipt and a empty drink cup.)

    Girl: *surprised* “Wait, I asked to take the drink off.”

    Me: “I did. You made my day a whole lot better just by asking how I was and giving me a smile. Least I can do is buy you a drink!”

    (She thanks me and gives me her prettiest smile yet before walking away. People should realize the difference a smile can make. It can change an employee’s whole day!)

    Better Make It A Double

    | Ipswich, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top, Underaged

    (I am working in a pub, and my sister, my identical twin, has come in to say hello during a busy period. She has queued, and I have served her an alcoholic drink. I am just handing it over when this conversation starts.)

    Customer: “You didn’t check the ID of this girl. She doesn’t look old enough to drink. I demand you check her ID!”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir, but I can assure you that she is old enough to drink.”

    Customer: “She is only about 12! She is nowhere old enough to drink. I will call the police if you do not check her ID!”

    Me: “Sir, she is old enough to drink. She is my sister, and I can assure you that she is 20 years old.”

    Customer: “If you won’t check her ID, I am going to call the police!”

    (The customer takes his phone out and makes a show of dialing. My sister looks embarrassed, but pays for her drink, shows me her driving license as she does look young, and takes a seat at the bar.)

    Me: “See? My sister is old enough to drink.”

    Customer: “No! You’re breaking the law!” *to everyone around us* “She’s breaking the law!”

    (Hearing the commotion, security comes.)

    Security: “What is the trouble, sir?”

    Customer: “That girl has served a drink to an underage customer! She used a fake ID; I saw her!”

    Security: “Sir, can’t you see the resemblance? The girl serving you is the identical twin of this customer. If she is old enough to serve you drinks, her twin is old enough to drink, too.”

    Customer: *muttering* “Well… she doesn’t look as old as she does!” *leaves*

    Attack Of The Killer Tomato Customers

    | South Tampa, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am cashiering on the first express lane with one of our new hires on the second express lane. I’m cashing out a customer when I hear an outburst from the new girl’s line.)

    Customer: “What are you doing?! Don’t touch my tomatoes! Leave them in the bag!”

    New Cashier: *turns around, looks at me* “Help me, please?”

    Me: *walks over* “Good afternoon, sir. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I bought these tomatoes, and she is taking them out of the bag and ringing them up separately! I want them rung up together!”

    Me: “Well, sir, it looks like you bought 3 different tomato varieties.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “Each variety is a different price per pound. To keep our inventory counts accurate, we have to weigh and ring these up separately.”

    Customer: “I don’t want you touching my tomatoes!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it is store policy.”

    Customer: “I want to see a manager!”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I flag down a supervisor, who is female.)

    Supervisor: “What can I do for you, sir?”

    Customer: “No! I want to talk to a manager!”

    Supervisor: “I assure you, I’m a manager.”

    Customer: “No! A man!”

    Supervisor: *sighs* “I’ll be right back.”

    (She returns with the store manager, who is male. He walks off with the now-livid customer.)

    New Cashier: “Did he really pitch a fit over tomatoes?”

    Me: “Yep. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he got them for free now.”

    New Cashier: “No way.”

    (15 minutes later, the supervisor returns.)

    Supervisor: “Well, [store manager] just gave our angry customer his tomatoes for free.”

    New Cashier: “What!?”

    Me: “I told you!”

    Getting Heated About A Lack Of Heated Food

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a soft serve ice cream shop. The building has a window to serve people outside, as the inside is rather small. A woman literally drives up to the window.)

    Me: “Ma’am, this isn’t a drive through. Can you please park the car and order then?”

    Customer: “Do you have cheeseburgers?”

    Me: *confused* “Ma’am, this is an ice cream store. We don’t sell any hot foods.”

    Customer: “Do you have hot dogs?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we have no hot dogs, cheeseburgers, or anything hot. But I’m sure that the restaurant down the road has those?”

    Customer: “Can I have a large order of fries?”

    Me: “Ma’am we don’t have fries.”

    Customer: “Can I have a fish filet with ketchup?”

    Me: “Ma’am, please: we don’t have any fish, fries, chicken, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, pasta, or pizza.”

    Customer: *gives me a creepy stare*

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    (The customer yells incomprehensibly, stomps on the gas, and does a donut in the parking lot before speeding away.)

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