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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Pot Calling The Coffee Bad

    | Waterbury, CT, USA | Food & Drink

    (We have a paid membership program at our store that allows members to take additional savings when purchasing stuff from our cafe.)

    Me: “Hi, may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was here about three weeks ago and got a cup of coffee. I’m not a member, so I got the bottom of the pot and it tasted disgusting.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir—it was mere coincidence.”

    Customer: “Well, I had to throw it away! As I was leaving, I heard you ask the customer behind me if he was a member. Because he was, you told him you’d make a fresh pot of coffee for him! Do you discriminate against all of your non-members?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I want you to make me a fresh pot of coffee right now.”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t discriminate here. Again, it was most likely just coincidence. Why don’t I get you a cup and have you fix it the way you like it? If it doesn’t taste good, then let me know before you leave and I’d be more than happy to make a fresh pot of coffee.”

    (I get him his coffee and he pays for it. After he goes to put his cream and sugar in it, I stop him on his way back before he leaves.)

    Me: “How’s your coffee, sir?”

    Customer: “Wow, the coffee here is really good! I work in a restaurant and hate when customers come back and complain, so I try not to be that type of person myself. Thanks for the coffee!”

    Illegal Tender

    , | Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work late at night at a well-known fast food chain. We often get customers who are a little bit under the influence at night.)

    Me: “That comes to $23.95, thanks.”

    (The customer goes through his wallet and pockets and comes up about $5 short.)

    Customer: “Do you want to buy some weed off me so I can pay for this order?”

    Mentally Closed Down

    | Goodyear, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (It’s a little after 10:00 PM and two customers walk in.)

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]! Two tonight?”

    Customer: “Are you about to close?”

    Me: “No, we are open 24 hours.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *to his friend* “Let’s go then, dude.”

    Some Are Born Deaf To Manners

    | Arkansas, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (We employ a deaf, hard-working lady at our restaurant.)

    Customer: *agitated* “Excuse me, are you the manager?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “That employee over there ignored me. I asked for help, even yelled, and she just walked right by. She is rude!”

    Me: “Sir, she is deaf.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t matter! Your employees must answer when I call!”

    Me: “Sir, she is deaf. She can’t hear you at all. Even if you got her attention, she wouldn’t respond unless you use sign language or let her read your lips.”

    Customer: “Well, then why does she work here?”

    Me: “Because she is a hard worker and does her job well.”

    Customer: “Well, you shouldn’t hire rude people!”

    Me: *shaking my head*

    The Whole Is Less Than The Sum Of Its Pits

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I’m working at the checkout and have just weighed several peaches for a customer.)

    Customer: “Oh, wait, sorry…I have one more peach to weigh. Have you already weighed the others?”

    Me: “Yeah, but that’s okay. I’ll just weigh it separately.”

    Customer: “No, that’s not okay!”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Customer: “Because they would have weighed differently if they were put together. It would be less!”

    Me: *speechless*

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