October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Obama Is On A Roll

| VA, USA | Food & Drink, Politics, Top

Me: “May I offer you a basket of bread?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you think I can have a basket of just the rolls?”

Me: “Absolutely! I’ll be right back—”

Customer: “You know I bet 99.9% of people who walk in here only want the rolls. Am I right? Why do you even bother carrying the other bread?”

Me: “Well, sir, actually a lot of people like the other bread. Some people even request baskets with no rolls!”

(The customer is all of a sudden very worked up.)

Customer: “Well, I bet those people are people who voted for Obama!”

Me: “I really wouldn’t know, sir.”

Customer: “Well you could probably just tell by looking at them!”

Me: “Sir, I really have no idea what people’s political leanings are based on their bread preferences.”

Customer: “Whatever…”

Has A Problem With The Sand Part Of Sandwiches

| TX, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I am working the weekend shift in a popular fast food sandwich chain with an older gentleman of Middle-Eastern decent. He is the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. A customer and his buddies come into the store. I am busy in the back prepping bread and cookies, so my coworker goes out to help them. When I come out I hear shouting.)


Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “The problem is this d*** sand-n*****! I ain’t gonna stand here and let him touch my food!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, sir. However, I can’t stand here and let you speak to a fellow employee that way. [Coworker] is a stand-up guy, and doesn’t deserve to be treated the way you are treating him. Please calm down and let us do our job.”

Customer: “Well I don’t give a d*** what you think! I don’t want him serving me, so you’re gonna.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I will not. I have the right to refuse service to those that I feel are being abusive. I’d like you to leave the store right now.”


Me: “Well, my manager is off at another store right now. If you’d like to go across town to the other store, you are more than welcome to speak with her. I’m sure you’ll find, though, that she’ll agree with me. Please leave right now, and never come back.”

Customer: “I don’t want your stupid food anyway. F*** you guys!”

(About 20 minutes later, my manager calls me from the other store. She tells me about an irate customer who came in and complained that he was kicked out from my store. When he explained why, she told me she kicked him out of there, too. Thankfully, I never saw him in the store again.)

That Would Not Be A Happy Meal

, | San Diego, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque, Top

(Everyone in the kitchen wears headsets to hear the drive-thru. This is so we can make the order while the customer is ordering.)

Me: “Hey, how are you today?”

Customer: “Just a sec… s***!”

Me: *deadpan* “I’m sorry, sir; we don’t serve that here.”

(The entire kitchen erupts in laughter.)

Customer: *also laughing* “If I wanted that, I’d go to [competitor]!”

They Taste A Bit Brimstoney

| Roseburg, OR, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Religion

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I bought some shrimp the other day, and would like to return them.”

Me: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “The shrimp’s souls are in Hell.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well they are freezer burned, and since they are ‘burned’, that means that their little souls are in Hell. I just can’t eat anything that has been damned.”

The Wait Time Was Criminal

| Chattanooga, TN, USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(My husband calls a diner ahead for two Philly sandwiches. When we pull up, we see the waitress and the cook waiting outside while one person is eating at the counter.)

Cook: “Are you [last name]?”

Husband: “Yes?”

Cook: “I’m sorry, but there’s been… an issue with your order.”

Husband: “What’s going on?”

Cook: “We’re waiting for the cops. You see, I was in the middle of making your order. That gentleman in there came in, grabbed your food off the grill, and sat down to eat. We think he might be armed. We’ve locked him inside, and we’re waiting for the cops.”

(My husband is speechless.)

Cook: “I’ll also have to remake your order if you still want it.”

Husband: “It’s okay. We’ll wait.”

(We are there for over an hour. The cops show up rather shortly. They arrest the man, and take all available evidence. The cook and waitress have to clean everything before they can make my husband’s order. We are given half off for our wait!)

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