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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Food In, Baby Out

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work for a small local cafe. It’s late in the evening and I am busy with tables and to-go orders. A customer calls to put in an order.)

    Me: “Thanks for calling [cafe]. What can I get for you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I need one chicken gyro and a cream soda to go.”

    Me: “Anything else for you this evening?”

    Caller: “No, but I am in a hurry. Could you just bring it out to the car for me? I just went into labor and cannot get out of the car.”

    Me: “Um…is there anyone else with you?”

    Caller: “Only my two year old.”

    Me: “Oh, okay. I’ll bring it out to you when you arrive.”

    (It actually takes an extra 30 minutes for her to drive up and pick up her order. Surprisingly, when she arrives, she sits in the car for another 20 minutes and eats her meal all while she’s in labor with a 2 year old in the back seat.)

    S-T-U-P-I-D

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Food & Drink

    (A woman, about 40 years old, is looking at all our different food and drink items on a list on our front window.)

    Me: “Hi! What can I get you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, uh…what’s j-u-i-c-e?”

    Me: *pause* “Er, that’s juice.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (Stands there apparently thinking for about 10 seconds.)

    Customer: “I don’t know what that is. Never mind!” *walks away*

    No Sudden Gender Changes, Please

    , | Washington, USA | Food & Drink

    (Another employee and I are working the drive-thru and we both are able to talk to customers at the speaker box.)

    Male coworker: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Well, I’ll take a number two and a number seven.”

    (At this point, my coworker has to talk to another customer, so I finish talking to the customer. I am a woman.)

    Me: “Okay, and what would you like to drink with those?”

    Customer: “Wh-What happened to the MAN I was talking to?”

    Me: “I’m sorry… he was helping another customer for a moment. Did you not want to talk to me?”

    Customer: “That’s just rude and confusing for the customer!”

    Involuntarily Voluntary Or Voluntarily Involuntary

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (This happens to me while I am working as a cashier at a popular fast food place. A big, stereotypical jock teen in a football sweater comes up to my till.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get you today?”

    Customer: “I’d like two apple pies, please.”

    Me: “Sure, hang on a second.”

    (I ring up the order and gives him the pies.)

    Customer: “There’s something wrong…”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “I s*** my pants.”

    Me: *shocked* “Wait, what?”

    Customer: “I S*** MY PANTS!” *continues screaming and walks out of the store*

    Always Exorcise Before Eating

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m serving a lady who has come in with her two grandsons. While they are waiting for their food to come from the
    kitchen, she flags me down.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, could I have another glass of water?”

    Me: “Sure! I’ll bring that right over for you.”

    (I walk over to the waitress’ station, get her a glass of water, and bring it back.)

    Customer: *in a creepy, fake child’s voice* “Thank you, mommy!”

    (I walk away as quickly as possible. Even her grandsons look confused. For the rest of the night, though, she acts completely normal, as if nothing happened.)


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