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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Try Our New De Caf Bonne Nuit Blend

    | UK | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: *angrily* “Get your manager. I have a complaint!”

    Me: “Of course, sir. Just a moment, please.”

    (I get the manager.)

    Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: *still angry* “Yesterday evening, I ordered six cups of coffee to go because I had work to do, but I fell asleep after an hour! My work is ruined! I’m going to sue your a**!”

    Manager: “What flavor did you order?”

    Customer: *thinks for a moment* “A french flavor…de Caf!”

    Peppered With Inconsistency

    | Clifton Park, NY, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like your tuna jalapeño sub without the jalapeños.”

    Me: “Okay, so you’d like a tuna sub?”

    Customer: “No, I’d like a tuna jalapeño sub without the tuna!”

    Me: “You want a veggie sub?”

    Customer: “No, you’re not listening! Give me a tuna jalapeño sub without the jalapeños!”

    (I just start making a tuna sub without saying another word.)

    Me: “And what kind of veggies would you like?”

    Customer: “Lettuce, tomato, and…hmm…how about jalapeños?

    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 7

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (A customer is in the produce section and selects a 10 lb. bag of potatoes. She’ll actually save money if she buys two 5 lb. bags of potatoes, due to a buy one, get one free deal.)

    Me: “Ma’am, our 5 lb. bags of potatoes are buy one, get one free this week.”

    (The customer looks back and forth between her 10 lb. and the two 5lb. bags. She is clearly confused.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry, but my family would never eat that many potatoes!”

    Related:
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 6
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 5
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 4
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 3
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

    Option Overload, Part 2

    , | Illinois, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “I would like a number eight. That comes with a fruit punch, right?”

    Me: “It comes with a large drink of your choice.”

    Customer: “The sign shows fruit punch.”

    Me: “Yes, but you can get what you want.”

    Customer: “But the sign shows fruit punch!”

    Related:
    Option Overload

    Not Getting To The Meat Of The Issue

    | Christchurch, New Zealand | Food & Drink

    (At the sandwich shop I work at, pretty much all the meat is cold and we only heat it at the customer’s request. I am working the first position on the sandwich line, greeting people, and starting their sandwiches for them. An older customer comes up to the line.)

    Me: “Hi there, welcome to [store name]. What can I get you today?”

    Customer: “I’d like a sandwich, please.”

    Me: “Sure! What would you like in it?”

    Customer: “Cold meat.”

    Me: “Ma’am, all the meat is cold. What meat would you like?”

    Customer: “Cold meat. I already said that!”

    Me: “Well, what type? We have ham, chicken, beef, turkey—”

    Customer: “How hard is it for you to just put cold meat in my d*** sandwich? Are you new here?! They always put cold meat in my d*** sandwich! For f***’s sake, just put cold meat in my sandwich!”

    Me: *speechless* “Okay, how about I get you the person who regularly serves you to help you out?”

    Customer: “No! F*** it! You’re useless at this!” *leaves store grumbling*

    Related:
    Getting To The Meat Of The Issue

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