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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Necessity Is The Mother Of Intervention

    , | Missouri, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (A mother with several children and their grandmother come up to my register. They bicker for a while before the mother takes her kids to the playroom, and the grandmother begins to order all their food. Halfway through the large order, the mother runs up to us screaming.)

    Mother: “What are you doing! Stop! STOP!”

    Grandmother: “What? I’m just ordering our food.”

    Mother: “No! You don’t know what we are getting!”

    Grandmother: “We get the same food every time. I remember what we get.”

    Mother: “Shut up, Mom! God, you just can not quit!”

    Grandmother: “I can remember—”

    Mother: “SHUT UP MOM! SHUT UP!” *turns to me* “Start over.”

    (I void off all the items and start from scratch. The grandmother stands there quietly through the whole ordeal and pays at the end.)

    Me: “Okay, here are your drink cups. It will be just a few minutes on your food.”

    (The mother walks away, leaving the grandmother at the counter with me.)

    Grandmother: “Sorry about all the yelling. My daughter can be very rude sometimes.”

    (They collect their food and leave. Not five minutes later, the mother runs up to my register and starts screaming at me. The grandmother walks up too, and stands behind her daughter quietly.)

    Mother: “You got my order completely wrong! I demand a refund! You could have killed my poor babies!”

    (My manager immediately steps in.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Mother: “This girl sabotaged my food! Now my children can’t eat!”

    Manager: “From the looks of your receipt, you ordered a lot of food.”

    Me: “I read it back to double check it. What did I mess up?”

    (The mother and the manager continue to bicker about the order for several minutes before she gets pissed and walks off. The grandmother stays behind to talk to us.)

    Grandmother: “She does this every time. She can never remember which of her kids is allergic to what. I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, too.”

    Grandmother: “Oh, don’t worry about me! The only reason I put up with her attitude is so I can make sure she doesn’t kill my grandchildren. Try to have a good day, dear!”

    Like Selling Candy To A Banshee

    | Nevada, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (This is a call from me to a customer who owns a candy store, regarding an order they placed for a candy-making mix. We had the wrong expiration date for their credit card. Please note that this order is marked as being needed in a rush.)

    Woman: “Hello, [candy store].”

    Me: “Hello, this is [name] from [candy supply company].”

    Woman: “We’re not interested!” *hangs up*

    (I call back.)

    Woman: “Hello, [candy store].”

    Me: “Hi, this is [name] again. I think there was a misunderstanding. We’re calling about an order you already placed.”

    Woman: *scoffs* “Really…”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. [Candy store owner] called and put in an order this morning for candy mix, but we must not have heard the expiration date correctly.”

    Woman: “So, you call saying we ordered something, and you want me to just give you a credit card number?”

    Me: “No, we have the number. We just need to check the expiration date. Is [candy store owner] there?”

    Woman: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, could I leave a message for him that we won’t be able to send out your candy mix without getting the correct expiration date?”

    Woman: “We’re a homemade candy company. What makes you assume we use a mix for our candy?”

    Me: “Because we sell it to you.”

    Woman: “We make our candy homemade. We’re not interested in buying yours. How dare you suggest we make it from a mix?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, a lot of places label their candy homemade, even when they make it from a mix. I can cancel the order if you’d like, but I’d prefer to speak to [candy store owner] before I do.”

    Woman: “He’s not here, and I’m sure as h*** not giving you any credit card information. It’s a f***ing scam!”

    (The woman hangs up again. About a week later, I get a call from the man who owns the store.)

    Owner: “Hi, this is [owner] from [candy store]. I was calling to see where my order was.”

    Me: “We tried to get in touch with you about having the wrong expiration date on the credit card the same day you placed the order. The woman I spoke to told me you would me making the candy from scratch and were no longer interested in the order, so I canceled it.”

    Owner: “****! I’m gonna kill her!”

    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 4

    | Virginia, USA | Food & Drink

    (A drink order is passed down the line to me. After reading it several times, I have to clarify it with the customer.)

    Me: “Sir? This says you want a large mocha with whip, but no espresso. Um, did you maybe want decaf instead? Or… uh…” *puzzled silence*

    Customer: “I get it all the time at [chain coffee shop]! God, is it really SO HARD to get my drink right?”

    Me: “Well… I’m just confused… because you apparently paid $1.00 extra for a… a hot chocolate.”

    Customer: “Jeez, call it whatever you want, just make the thing! Mochadopacoppio, whatever! You just go right ahead and fix me one of your fancy HAAAWT CHAAAWC-LATES!”

    Related:
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 3
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themself, Part 2
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

    Ooh, I’m Quaking In My Oats

    | USA | Food & Drink

    (This happened to a coworker of mine, who is a bus driver. It is against policy to let food on the bus, and there is a sign that clearly states this.)

    Passenger: *tries to get on the bus with a giant bowl of oatmeal*

    Coworker: “Sir, I’m sorry, but you can’t take that oatmeal on the bus.”

    Passenger: “What?! Why?”

    Coworker: “There’s no food allowed on the bus.”

    Passenger: “I won’t spill!”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, but there’s still no food on the bus.”

    Passenger: “Well…YOU’RE UGLY!”

    It Always Hurts To Ask

    , | California, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello! What can I get for you this evening?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a Caramel Mocha?”

    Me: “Sure, did you want the Caramel Mocha or did you want the blended Caramel Frappe?”

    Customer: *impatiently* “I WANT the Caramel MOCHA!”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that hot or cold?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “I want that cold! DUH!”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that medium or large?”

    Customer: “I want it F***ING LARGE! WHY YOU GOTTA ASK ME SO D*** MANY QUESTIONS?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I just want to make sure I have your order correct. Here’s your total. Please have your money ready at the first window…”

    (The customer gets to the window, practically throws her money at me, and speeds off to the next window to get her drink.)

    Customer: *at the next window* “I DIDN’T WANT THIS NASTY PIECE OF S***! I WANTED THE BLENDED ONE!”

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