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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    It Always Hurts To Ask

    , | California, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello! What can I get for you this evening?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a Caramel Mocha?”

    Me: “Sure, did you want the Caramel Mocha or did you want the blended Caramel Frappe?”

    Customer: *impatiently* “I WANT the Caramel MOCHA!”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that hot or cold?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “I want that cold! DUH!”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that medium or large?”

    Customer: “I want it F***ING LARGE! WHY YOU GOTTA ASK ME SO D*** MANY QUESTIONS?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I just want to make sure I have your order correct. Here’s your total. Please have your money ready at the first window…”

    (The customer gets to the window, practically throws her money at me, and speeds off to the next window to get her drink.)

    Customer: *at the next window* “I DIDN’T WANT THIS NASTY PIECE OF S***! I WANTED THE BLENDED ONE!”

    The Customer Is Sometimes Alright

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (I am at a sit-down restaurant at a theme park. A waitress comes up to me while I’m eating.)

    Waitress: “Are you finding everything alright, sir?”

    Me: “Yes, the food’s very good! Thank you for asking.”

    (As she is walking away, I realize I have only $20 in my wallet and no credit cards. I’m fairly young, so I don’t have a credit card and always pay in cash. Because the meal including tax is $19.05, I find out I only have 95 cents for a tip.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am…I have a question.”

    Waitress: “Yes?”

    Me: “Am I supposed to tip you? Because, I don’t think I have enough money left. You see, I only have $20, and the meal I paid for left me with only 95 cents.”

    Waitress: *smiles warmly* “Oh, don’t worry about it. The tip is already included with the bill!”

    Me: “Really? I don’t have to give you any physical tips or anything like that? Because I really thought I had to give you one.”

    Waitress: “Don’t worry about it! Like I said, tips are already included with the bill. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me! Please do enjoy your meal!”

    (She walks away with a smile on her face. A couple sitting in the table right next to me paid attention to the whole conversation.)

    Husband: “Hey, uh…excuse me, sir?”

    (I turn in their direction. He is leaning towards me with a few $1 bills in his hand.)

    Husband: “Here, take this. My wife and I overheard your conversation with your waitress. She was really nice and friendly, and we felt a little sorry when we also heard that you wanted to tip her but didn’t have the money. Please, do take this.”

    (I stretch out my arm and take their money. Using my thumb, I leaf through it and find out they are giving me $10 to tip my waitress. I am dumbfounded.)

    Me: “Why, that’s really kind of you sir, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t!”

    (The husband shakes his head in a friendly sort of way, and pushes the money towards me.)

    Husband: “No, really, I do insist that you tip your waitress.”

    Me: “Thank you…thank you so much! How can I ever repay you?”

    Husband: “You don’t need to pay me back. Honest. You both really needed it.”

    (I finish my meal, and my waitress comes over to my table to get the bill.)

    Me: “Here, take this tip. I really do want you to take it! It came through the kindness of others.”

    (She turns to all three of us; apparently, she overheard our conversation.)

    Waitress: “Thank you! I’ll go get your bill and hope all of you have a wonderful night!”

    (She goes to get the bill and I pay for the meal, getting my last 95 cents as calculated.)

    Me: *to husband* “Please, I know it’s not much, but take this 95 cents.”

    Husband: *waves me off* “No, no, I can’t. Keep the change. You’ll never know when you’ll need those coins.”

    (I try again to give my change to him, but get the same reaction.)

    Me: “Well, I know this isn’t much as well, but please have my thanks, and have a great night!”

    (I wave to them as I leave the restaurant and they wave back. I still have that receipt to this day to remind me of the kindness a couple brought to me in a tight spot.)

    Revenge Is A Treat Best Served Sweet, Part 2

    | Australia | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (Our shop sells a variety of desserts. The lady who owns the shop loves small kids, and insists that we add small extras for them. She often doesn’t even charge polite children. It’s a busy day when a woman and her young son approach the counter. The son can’t be older than 4. He looks terribly excited and is clutching a coin as though his life depends on it.)

    Young Son: “Could I please have a…single chocolate ice cream?”

    Mother: “You shouldn’t say ‘please’ to her. Only to people you know.”

    Young Son: *sadly* “Oh…I’m sorry, Missus Ice Cream Lady. Am I still allowed a single chocolate ice cream?”

    Mother: “No, don’t apologise, either! Just say what you want and don’t talk to her. You’ll waste good manners otherwise.”

    Young Son: “Oh, okay…I would please like a single chocolate ice cream and nothing else.”

    Mother: “No, you said please again! Look, it’s not that hard! Your manners are terrible!”

    (As this goes on, I start making the ice cream. The boy’s eyes slowly move from his mother’s weird demands to the ice cream as I make it bigger and bigger, adding extra cream, berries, sprinkles, and anything I can think of. His face goes from confusion to a grin to a dropped jaw of awe. The final product is almost as big as his head.)

    Me: “Here you go, young man! You’re the politest customer I’ve had today, and polite customers always get rewarded! If there were more customers like you, wouldn’t the world be a nicer place?”

    Mother: “Ugh! He’s not supposed to be polite to people on minimum wage!”

    Me: *ignores her* “Thank you, young man, for battling the forces of rudeness and for making the world a better place!”

    (I refuse payment, because apparently the coin the boy is the boy’s ‘life savings’. The mother storms off berating him, although her son is oblivious due to his enormous ice cream. The next day, him and all his friends come for ice cream. All are super polite, so they all got extra large ones at half price.)

    Related:
    Revenge Is A Treat Best Served Sweet

    Things Every Employee Must Grow Accustomed To

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (While putting out some stock in the organic produce section of a small grocery store, I get asked this question by a well-to-do customer his early thirties.)

    Customer: “Is this all your organic stuff?”

    Me: “Yep, everything on this wall.”

    Customer: “Great! What about the rest of the produce? Is it safe to eat?”

    Me: “Yeah, they might have just used pesticides and whatnot on them.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but are they still grown on trees, or are they all made in a factory?”

    Me: “No…they’re all still grown on trees and in fields.”

    Customer: “So, they’re all still grown on trees and stuff?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Customer: “Great! Thanks!” *walks off*

    (Another customer has heard our conversation and turns to me.)

    Another Customer: “They don’t pay you nearly enough, do they?”

    Complimentary Vs. Complimentary

    | Brighton, UK | Food & Drink, Money

    (Having just eaten a generous serving of risotto, a customer waves me over, pointing to his empty plate.)

    Me: “Hi there. Everything alright with your meal?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I’m still hungry. I’d like some more.”

    Me: “There are dessert menus on the tables and specials on the board—”

    Customer: “No. I want more of this.”

    Me: “Sure. Another risotto will be £6.95, please.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to PAY! I just want some more. You should take it as a compliment!”

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