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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Not Getting To The Meat Of The Issue

    | Christchurch, New Zealand | Food & Drink

    (At the sandwich shop I work at, pretty much all the meat is cold and we only heat it at the customer’s request. I am working the first position on the sandwich line, greeting people, and starting their sandwiches for them. An older customer comes up to the line.)

    Me: “Hi there, welcome to [store name]. What can I get you today?”

    Customer: “I’d like a sandwich, please.”

    Me: “Sure! What would you like in it?”

    Customer: “Cold meat.”

    Me: “Ma’am, all the meat is cold. What meat would you like?”

    Customer: “Cold meat. I already said that!”

    Me: “Well, what type? We have ham, chicken, beef, turkey—”

    Customer: “How hard is it for you to just put cold meat in my d*** sandwich? Are you new here?! They always put cold meat in my d*** sandwich! For f***’s sake, just put cold meat in my sandwich!”

    Me: *speechless* “Okay, how about I get you the person who regularly serves you to help you out?”

    Customer: “No! F*** it! You’re useless at this!” *leaves store grumbling*

    Related:
    Getting To The Meat Of The Issue

    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 3

    | North Carolina, USA | Food & Drink

    (A latte is steamed milk with espresso. Without espresso, it’s just a cup of milk. Our small lattes have two shots of espresso.)

    Customer: “I’d like a small latte with a shot of espresso.”

    Me: “A single-shot latte?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    (My coworker makes the latte and gives it to the man.)

    Customer: “Is there a shot of espresso in here?”

    Coworker: “Yes, did you want it on the side?”

    Customer: “No, I wanted a latte with espresso in it.”

    Me: “But you just wanted the one shot, right?”

    Customer: “No, I wanted a regular latte with a shot of espresso.”

    (I begin thinking maybe he actually wanted a latte with an extra shot to bring the total number of shots to three.)

    Me: “So did you want an extra shot on top of the two included shots? Three shots?”

    Customer: “Oh no, two is fine.”

    (The customer leaves.)

    Me: “I still have no idea what he wanted.”

    Coworker: “Me either!”

    Related:
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themself, Part 2
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

    Just Roll With It

    | Arizona, USA | Food & Drink

    (I wait tables at a sushi place. I’m currently serving two male customers.)

    Customer #1: *to customer #2* “Look at her eyes. Just look at them!”

    Customer #2: *to me* “Can I get a lunch combo?”

    Me: “Of course.”

    Customer #1: *to customer #2* “Did you not f***ing hear me? Look at her eyes!”

    Customer #2: *to customer #1* “I did. They’re beautiful!”

    Customer #1: *to me* “Can I have a lunch combo? Also, I love you!”

    To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 3

    | Canada | Food & Drink

    (There are at least 10 people in the restaurant. I am the only person manning front counter, so when I finish bagging each order, I call out what I’m holding so the customer can come pick it up.)

    Me: “Cheeseburger combo. Cheeseburger combo!”

    Customer: *raises his hand*

    Me: “Cheeseburger combo?”

    Customer: *takes bag*

    (I continue taking orders and bagging them as they come up. Two minutes later, the customer that took the cheeseburger combo comes back.)

    Customer: “Hey, this is a cheeseburger combo. I ordered a chicken burger!”

    (I take the cheeseburger combo back from him and continue bagging orders. About a minute later, he has his chicken burger.)

    Me: *gives him his chicken burger*

    Customer: *gives me a condescending look and stomps off*

    Related:
    To Whom This May (Not) Concern
    To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 2

    Yes, Your Royal Prawncess

    | South Carolina, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’ve just started my shift when I am called to a register. The customer is ranting about an item that is not on sale.)

    Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

    Customer: “This shrimp is not scanning right. I made a special trip for it and you people are going to be sued for false advertising!”

    Me: “I do apologize, but this is the wrong shrimp. Would you like me to get the correct one?”

    Customer: “The wrong one? No, it’s not!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is. The label and ad states the $8.39 shrimp is on sale. This is the $9.99 shrimp.”

    Customer: “I don’t care. I shouldn’t be expected to read labels! I should get anything I want because I am special!” *storms off without her shrimp*

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