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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Don’t Have A Latte Faith In Self-Espression

    | Virginia, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (A customer comes in around 5:00 and orders a triple shot of espresso. I start to make it for him as he watches me the whole time.)

    Me: *handing him cup* “Here you go sir, your triple shot of espresso!”

    Customer: “This is a triple shot of espresso?” *looks down at cup*

    Me: “Yes, sir, it’s three shots of espresso.”

    Customer: “Oh, so what do I put in it?”

    Me: *slightly confused as to what he is asking* “That depends entirely on your preference, sir. We have creamers, milk, sugar, and add ins on the table behind you.”

    Customer: “So, I should put that stuff in?”

    Me: “Only if you want to.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (He proceeds to go to table and add everything on the table to the triple shot. Several minutes later, the customer comes in with the drink which is filled to the brim with milk/cream.)

    Customer: “You served me earlier and this isn’t a triple shot.”

    Me: “I remember you, sir, and it is. I handed you the triple shot.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I don’t want cream or milk in it. I need you to make it again.”

    Me: “Uh, sir, I’ll have to charge you again for the additional triple shot.”

    Customer: “I don’t think you understand. This drink is wrong! I don’t want milk in it!”

    Me: “I do understand, sir, but you put in the milk yourself.”

    Customer: “You said to put in the milk!”

    Me: “No, sir, I said it was down to your preference. How about you explain to me what you want in the triple espresso and I’ll give you a 10% discount?”

    Customer: “Fine, I want espresso and a little sugar.”

    Me: “All right, sir.”

    (I charge him and begin to make the drink again. This time just adding a little simple syrup, hand him drink.)

    Me: “Here’s your triple espresso!”

    Customer: *looks at drink, then to drink counter* “So, should I put milk in?”

    Me: “Do you want milk?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Then, no.”

    There’s A Nut, But It’s Not In The Food

    | Leeds, UK | Food & Drink

    (We’re serving a table of 30. In each set of dishes, there’s one labelled “no nuts”. The first starter labelled no nuts is a prawn cocktail, so I don’t bother specifying one as no nuts.)

    Patron: “I ordered my prawn cocktail with no nuts. Are you sure there’s no nuts in this?”

    Me: “Positive, madam. The prawn cocktail is made without any nuts at all.”

    Patron: “I don’t believe you. Go and get it remade, and make sure there’s no nuts in it!”

    (I walk back into the kitchen and go to the chef.)

    Chef: “Is something wrong with that one?”

    Me: “No, she just wants one that doesn’t have any nuts in.”

    Chef: “But there’s no nuts in the Prawn Cocktail anyway.”

    (Not wanting to waste a perfectly good dish, I take the same cocktail back out to the customer, albeit with some extra cayenne sprinkled on top to differentiate it. Not surprisingly, she’s delighted.)

    Haagen-Dogs

    | USA | Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a grocery store and know that store manager, who is my neighbor.)

    Me: “Hi, did you find everything okay today?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, you guys actually have my favorite ice cream!”

    Me: “Well, that’s good.”

    (I pick up the box of the ice cream and notice a dog on it. Then I notice the name “Purina”.)

    Me: “Ma’am, did you know this is ice cream for dogs?”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. It was in a freezer! I can’t believe [store owner's name] knows someone so stupid!”

    Me: “I can’t believe it either.”

    Hershey’s Misses

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m explaining our desserts to a customer.)

    Me: “We have white, milk, and dark chocolate. You can get a mixture of two of those.”

    Customer: “Well, getting white and dark just doesn’t make sense.”

    Me: “Mind if I ask why not?”

    Customer: “Mixing white and dark chocolate would just make it milk chocolate.”

    Me: “That isn’t how chocolate works, ma’am.”

    To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 2

    , | Oregon, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: *holding a bag out the window* “Dave! Bacon cheeseburger and regular fries!”

    Customer: *comes up and grabs the bag* “Thanks!”

    Me: “Hey, I just took your order like a minute ago. Didn’t you get an ice cream cone?”

    Customer: “Yeah, thanks.”

    Me: “That’s not an ice cream cone; it’s a bacon cheeseburger and regular fries. Is your name Dave?”

    Customer: “No!” *hands back the bag* “Where’s my cone?!”

    Related:
    To Whom This May (Not) Concern


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