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  • Enough To Bring A Teal To Your Eyes
    (2,122 thumbs up)
  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Don’t Make A Dare With The Hair

    | Great Falls, MT, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

    (A customer comes into our sandwich shop. Instead of ordering at the counter, he sits down and spends 15 minutes staring at us from the table. However, he ignores all of our attempts to talk to him. Finally, he storms up to the register where I am and starts yelling.)

    Customer: “When the f*** is one of your waiters going to take my f***ing order? I’ve been waiting here for half an hour!”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t have waiters. You have to come up to the register to take your order. I’ll be happy to take your order for you, and we’ll probably have it ready before you finish paying.”

    Customer: “No, my friend told me this is a classy joint! Classy joints have waiters! Now get a f***ing waiter out here or I’m leaving!”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t have waiters, and if you insist on swearing at me I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “Make me f***er! Come at me, bro! You’re just a f***** with girl hair!”

    (Note: I am a man with shaggy hair.)

    Me: “Sir, please leave.”

    Customer: “Suck my ****!”

    (Fed up, my manager intervenes.)

    Manager: “I’m calling the cops, so you can tell them to suck your **** all you like if you’re still here when they get here.”

    Customer: *points at me* “Send this little f***** outside! I’ll be in the alley!”

    (The customer storms out through the back door, which is for employees only. As my manager starts to dial the cops, he turns to me.)

    Manager: *conspiratorially* “Hey, if you wanna take a break out in the alley, that’s cool.”

    Me: “Excellent!”

    (I go out the back door and find the belligerent customer still there.)

    Customer: *sees me and freezes in place*

    Me: *jumps over the rail separating us*

    Customer: *takes off running*

    (Instead of giving chase, I returned to the store. The police called a few minutes later telling us they had him in custody.)

    Good Money Drive-Thrus Out Bad

    | Ontario, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (I am working drive-thru at a major coffee shop chain. Every once in awhile, customers will “pay it forward” by paying for the order of the vehicle behind them. This is a happy surprise for the next customer, and usually causes them to pay for the order of the next vehicle and so on. We’re currently in the middle of a “pay it forward” chain when the following customer pulls up at the window.)

    Me: “Hello, your total is $3.49, but the car in front of you has already paid for it.”

    Customer: “What the f***?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s been going for 11 cars in a row. You can pay it forward if you’d like to keep the good deed going. No pressure, though.”

    Customer: “F*** that! I’ll pay for my own coffee. Not paying for some clown behind me!”

    Me: “Not a problem. Your order has been paid for. Have a good day.”

    Customer: “Are you deaf?! I said I am paying for it! This is such a scam getting people to pay for others. You’re what’s wrong with the world today, you know!”

    Me: “I’m sorry for trying to give you your order for free.”

    Customer: “That’s right, and don’t you DARE use my money to pay for the person behind me, you punk!”

    (The customer peels away. As for their money, I used it to keep the chain going, which lasted for another 14 vehicles.)

    Saving The Duke From The Puke

    | West Jefferson, NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “I’ll have two pounds of mac & cheese, 3 pounds of potato wedges, 2 pounds of boneless wings, and 10 cheese sticks. I also need 4 pounds of cooked ham, sliced on a #2.”

    Me: “Alright! Having a party, huh?”

    Customer: “No, this is for my dog.”

    Me: *taken off-guard* “Oh…” *jokingly* “…well, is he having a party then?”

    Customer:  ”I don’t appreciate your tone!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I was only kidding.”

    (I fill her order in silence. After weighing the potato wedges, she says…)

    Customer: “Can’t you go any faster?! The Duke will surely starve!”

    Me: “I’ll do the best I can, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well, see that you do! My sweet doggie is hungry!”

    (Meanwhile, a man walks up and begins talking to the customer while I finish her order. This takes about 10 minutes, as I have to cook more chicken. As I turn around from the meat slicer to give her the last bag of sliced ham, I see her walking away with the man. She has left her entire order on the counter.)

    Me: “Ma’am! MA’AM! Your order, ma’am!”

    Customer: “Oh, nevermind, dear! He brought me some dog food from the pet aisle!”

    Me: *speechless*

    (She wasted at least $40 worth of food!)

    It Pays To Be Patient, Part 3

    , | Minnesota, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I am a manager at a fast food restaurant. Things have been running behind in the kitchen, so we are caught off-guard with a long line of cars, forcing customers to wait while their food is cooked. I deliver an order to one particularly unhappy customer.)

    Me: “Here you go, sir. I’m so sorry about the wait.”

    Customer: *snatches the bag from my hands and screeches off without a word*

    (A couple days later, I am working the morning shift again and the same man comes through the drive-thru.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, were you the girl I was angry with the other morning?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. I’m so sorry for making you wait so long.”

    Customer: “No, I’m sorry. You were just trying to do your job. Have a nice day!”

    (The customer proceeds to place a 10 dollar bill in my hand. I definitely had a nice day!)

    Related:
    It Pays To Be Patient, Part 2
    It Pays To Be Patient

    Husband And Strife

    | Maine, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Wild & Unruly

    (A man walks in with his wife and starts ordering their food. She goes over to the soda machine to grab a drink, but the ice machine stops working. Frustrated, the wife starts slamming on the bar you push to get ice.)

    Wife: “IT’S NOT WORKING!”

    Me: “I’ll be right over. Sometimes it jams and you just have to hold down the handle for a bit.”

    (I go over and hold down the handle for a good 30 seconds which is usually enough time for the ice to start coming out again, but it still doesn’t work.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that. Usually there’s an additional charge for bottled drinks but you can have one for no extra cost if that’s okay.”

    Wife: “Okay, thanks.”

    (The wife goes to grab a drink but just stands there for a moment.)

    Wife: “You know what? WHATS THE POINT OF GRABBING A G**D*** DRINK IF THERE’S NO G**D*** ICE?!”

    Husband: “Baby, it’s fine. Just grab a bottled drink.”

    Wife: “NO, IT REALLY ISN’T!” *throws cup on the ground and stomps out the door*

    Me: “I’m so sorry… you can have a bottled drink for free at this point.”

    Husband: “Really?”

    Me: “Yeah, sure. I’m sorry about the ice.”

    Husband: “No, no, don’t worry about it. She’s just a huge b****!”

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