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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Flaws And Effect

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (We used to have a candy topping for a certain holiday drink. It was discontinued because people found it unpleasant. One customer went as far as to claim that a barista “must have dropped fried rice from their lunch into the drink”. There had been a minor incident over it, and the customer was outraged. This takes place the following year in the drive-thru.)

    Coworker: “Hi, here’s your latte! Have a nice night.”

    Customer: “Where’s the candied ginger from last year? I only ordered this because I wanted the ginger. I’m not going to enjoy my drink as much now!”

    Coworker: “Well, we don’t use it any more because people didn’t like it. Someone even insisted there was rice in their drink! Isn’t that kind of funny?”

    Customer: “Oh yes…I remember. Uh…that was me, actually.” *drives away sheepishly*

    Picked At The Peaks Of Flavor

    | Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I work as a server at a vegan cafe when a girl in her twenties walks in.)

    Me: “Hello, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a coffee to start. One sugar, two cream.”

    Me: “Sorry, we actually don’t have cream, but we use soy milk.”

    Customer: “Uh, what? Soy milk? Like beans? You put beans in your coffee? That’s gross. Who would put beans in their coffee?”

    Me: “Actually, it’s pretty good, and coffee is actually made of coffee beans, right?”

    Customer: “Haha, could you imagine that? That would be soooo gross!”

    Me: “Well, you could think of coffee beans like seeds, too. But anyway, is soy milk okay in your coffee?”

    Customer: “Seeds?! Haha, imagine that! No, it’s just rich dirt.”

    Me: “Uh, what’s ‘rich dirt’?’

    Customer: “Coffee, duh! You know…the brown powder that they dig from mountains!”

    Your Argument Is Full Of Hot Air, Part 3

    | NC, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (One late night at the diner where I work, a customer comes in late at night, obviously drunk. She orders three pork chops, hash browns with all the toppings, and eggs.  The customer eats everything on the plates then calls me over.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

    Customer: “My hash browns had peppers in them. I’m deathly allergic! I need you to give me the food for free.  I have to go to the hospital.

    Me: “Do you need me to call an ambulance?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, no, no. I can get there on my own. Just give me the food for free.”

    Me: ”I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. You ate all of your food and you seem fine.”

    Customer: “Then give me a discount, half off. I’m allergic to peppers! You gave them to me! I’m going to sue you!”

    Me: ”Ma’am, you seem fine, and you obviously saw and tasted the peppers, yet you ate it anyway. I can’t give you a discount.”

    Customer: *starts breathing heavily* “You did this to me…” *gasps for air* “…and you won’t give me my food for free! I’m suing you!”

    Me: ”That’s okay, but you still have to pay. I’ll have to call the police if you don’t pay.”

    Customer: *abruptly stops breathing heavily, pays, walks out, and gives everyone the middle finger*

    Related:
    Your Argument Is Full Of Hot Air, Part 2
    Your Argument Is Full Of Hot Air

    Bad Day LA

    , | Goshen, IN, USA | Food & Drink, Love/Romance

    (It’s my first night working drive-thru. I’m really nervous and trying to be polite to the customers. A man orders his meal and pulls up to window to pay. He looks mad. He pays me, and I give him his change and hand him his bag.)

    Me: “Have a nice day!”

    Customer: “Not with the day I’m having.”

    Me: “Yeah, we all have those kind of days.”

    Customer: “NOT with the kind of day I’m having! When your wife leaves you for a richer man, goes to California with him, and then calls you because she wants money to come home, THEN you’re having a bad day!” *screeches out of parking lot*

    Cooking Up Fresh Fierce Hairdos Daily

    | Montana, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (The restaurant I work at is rather unimaginatively named after the street where we are located. There is an equally unimaginatively named salon just a block away from us. We get calls for them often enough that we posted their number next to our phone so we can give it to customers who called by accident.)

    Me: “[Restaurant], how can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’d like to schedule a hair cut and color for tomorrow.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, this is [restaurant], not the salon. I have their number right here if you’d like to take it down.”

    Caller: “No, no, no! I don’t want a restaurant. I want to schedule a hair cut.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but I’m afraid you have the wrong number. The salon’s number is—”

    Caller: “NO! I want to schedule a hair cut.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I understand that, but I’m afraid I can’t do that for you. This is a restaurant.”

    Caller: “I don’t understand why you can’t just make an appointment for me! I want to speak with your manager!”

    Me: “I’m afraid my manager is unavailable at the moment.”

    Caller: “Fine! I’ll just come in first thing tomorrow for a walk-in. Expect me to talk with your manager then!”

    Me: “You do that, ma’am. Have a nice evening.”

    Caller: *click*

    (Our manager actually got a call from the extremely amused salon manager the next day. Apparently, she had to promise to “fire” me as the woman would not believe that she had called the wrong number!)

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