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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    What Goes Around Coffees Around

    | Ireland | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I have just finished serving a mother, but her daughter has dropped her juice so I have to mop up the spill. As part of our goodwill policy for spills, I also give the little girl another juice on the house. I then began serving the next customer.)

    Next Customer: “You shouldn’t have given her a free juice. It’s her own fault for being clumsy!”

    Me: “Well, it’s part of our goodwill policy. Accidents do happen, you know.”

    Next Customer: “Well, children shouldn’t be in a place like this in the first place. People should take responsibility for their actions!”

    (The customer takes her coffee, and as she approaches her seat she trips over her own feet and tosses her mug across the table. She splashes coffee everywhere: on the wall, on the floor, and all over the table and chairs.)

    Next Customer: *sheepishly* “I spilled my coffee. Can you make me another one to take away, please?”

    Lightening In A Bottle

    | Maryland, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (The wine store I work at has a fully functional bar. On this particular night, the store is very busy as we are having a wine tasting that is open to the public. This day also happens to be the one before my birthday. I am mixing a drink for a well-to-do regular customer).

    Customer: “So, how have you been lately?”

    Me: “Pretty good.”

    Customer: “What time will you be in tomorrow?”

    Me: “I actually have the day off. It is my birthday.”

    Customer: “Oh, is it? Did [owner] get you anything nice?”

    Me: “I doubt it.”

    Customer: “Well, that is too bad. Hey, could you help me find a good Portuguese wine?”

    (For the next ten minutes, I show him red blends, Riojas, and other wonderful Portuguese wines.)

    Customer: “If you could get any of these, which would you get?”

    Me: “Well, that depends. Most of these are out of my price range, but this $10.99 bottle would be great.”

    Customer: “But I want the best one that is over here, regardless of price.”

    (I show him a really good one that is $60 a bottle.)

    Customer: “I want this one. Can I buy it, set it on the counter, and enjoy some more drinks at the bar?”

    Me: “Absolutely!”

    (The customer stays for a few more hours talking to me about the college I had went to, and jobs I am interested in. About an hour before closing, he says it is time to go, and heads to the counter where his purchases are still sitting. I proceed to clean up the bar as he approaches me.)

    Customer: “I thought it a shame that a person as friendly and knowledgable as you didn’t get a birthday gift after working here for years. This is yours.”

    (He hands me a wrapped bag, and when I unwrap it, it is the expensive wine I had recommended. As I look up to thank him, he is already out the door, but he gives me a wave and a large smile. It is people like that who make working a minimum wage job worth it!)

    For Bitter Or Worse

    , | Montana, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I have been working at the same fast food restaurant since high school. That was a little over four years ago, so a lot of the regulars know me pretty well. I’m also usually mistaken for being much younger than I actually am, especially when I have my hair pulled up. I am also a recent newlywed, and my wedding band doesn’t look like the typical wedding band.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [fast food restaurant]. What can I get you?”

    Regular Customer: “Oh, that is a pretty ring!”

    (The customer points to my wedding band, which is silver with a gold Celtic Claddagh in the center.)

    Regular Customer: “Who got that for you?

    Me: “Oh, it is my wedding band. My husband got it for me.”

    Regular Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “…Ma’am?”

    Regular Customer: *starts yelling* “You are FAR to young to get married! This is insane! I need to speak to your manager!”

    (At this point, I don’t know what to do, so I go get one of supervisors.)

    Supervisor: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Regular Customer: “Did you know that this young woman is married? She is too young to get married! Was she forced? How can you allow something like this to happen to one of your coworkers?”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, how old do you think she is?”

    Regular Customer: “She can’t be more than seventeen… Oh, I know!” *to me* “You are pregnant, aren’t you?”

    Me: *completely shocked* “No, ma’am, I’m not pregnant. And I’m not seventeen. I’m 21.”

    Regular Customer: “No, you aren’t, I’ve been coming here for years. You are seventeen, and you are probably pregnant which is why you were forced into marriage.” *to my supervisor* “What is this world coming to these days?!”

    Me: “Here ma’am, take a look at my ID.”

    (The customer looks at my ID, which clearly shows that I am 21.)

    Regular Customer: *frustrated* “Well, you’re still young to be married. It must have been a shotgun wedding!”

    Not The Britest Bagel In The Bunch

    | Rhode Island, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I’m a baker of the store, so I make all the donuts, bagels and muffins three days a week. This particular day I have finished baking and am now working on sandwich station. My hair is often multi-colored, so my coworkers call me ‘Rainbow Brite.’)

    Customer: “The girl making sandwiches got this hair in my food.”

    Coworker: “Oh, I’m very sorry, ma’am. Let me see that and we’ll remake it for you.”

    (The customer hands over a bagel which has a long blond hair sticking out of the cream cheese. My hair is short and currently black with pink/purple bangs. However, the customer’s daughter has long blond hair. Also, we don’t have a single blond girl working at our store—just two blond boys who have buzzcuts.)

    Coworker: “Well, ma’am, while this hair didn’t come from her, I’ll have her make it over for you anyways.”

    Customer: “Of course it’s her hair! Who else’s hair could it be?! I bet you are just covering for her. Let me speak to the person in charge.”

    Coworker: “Rainbow Brite, she wants to talk to you.”

    Me: *smiles* “Hi, hun, can I help you with something?”

    Customer: “I found this long blond hair in my bagel. Your coworker accused me of lying when I said it came from the girl making sandwiches!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I can tell you she was telling the truth that the hair didn’t come from the sandwich girl, because that’s me, and my hair is neither blond nor long. However, I can remake your bagel and give you a refund if you would like.”

    Customer: “How dare you accuse me of lying?! I demand a refund!”

    Me: “Of course, ma’am. Let me make your bagel again.”

    (I remake her bagel and give her a refund. As she’s walking out, her daughter speaks.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “Mommy, why were you so mean to her? You got my hair in the bagel, not her!”

    Customer: *turns bright red and leaves in a hurry*

    Get Your Own Employee

    | California, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (It is a really busy weekend at the grocery store. I am trying to restock some product, but I am being asked for help left and right by customers.)

    Customer #1: “Hi! Can you help me find the salad dressing?”

    Me: “Of course! If you’ll just follow me, I can show you exactly where they are.”

    Customer #1: “Which one do you like best?”

    Me: “Personally—”

    (Suddenly another customer interrupts us.)

    Customer #2: “Show me where the olives are!”

    Me: “Miss, they’re two sections over on the very bottom shelf.” *to the first customer* “I really prefer the red wine—”

    Customer #2: “I can’t believe you won’t show me where they are. Are you really that lazy that you can’t take the time to help me?”

    Customer #1: “Back the f*** off, lady! She’s working her a** off! You’re the one being a lazy b****!”

    (The second customer grabs her olives and storms off.)

    Me: *to Customer #1* “You’re my favorite customer!”

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