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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    You’re Driving Me Strawberry And Bananas

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m taking orders at a coffee shop.)

    Me: “What can I get you today?”

    Customer: “Strawberry banana smoothie.”

    Me: “What size would you like?”

    Customer: “Strawberry banana.”

    Me: “Yep, and what size?”

    Customer: “Strawberry banana.”

    Me: “But what size would you like?”

    Customer: “STRAWBERRY BANANA.”

    Me: *trying another approach* “Would you like a large or a small?”

    Customer: “Medium!”

    Courtesy Is For Commoners

    | Virginia, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (A mom and her 3 year old daughter come up to my counter.)

    Customer: “Tell the lady what you want, sweetie.”

    Customer’s Daughter: “I want an ICEE!”

    Customer: “What do you say?”

    Customer’s Daughter: “And make it fast!”

    Customer: “What?! You do NOT say that! We are talking to your father when we get home!”

    How About Some Split Pee Soup

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Customer: “I’d like a latrine!”

    Me: “Oh, okay, the bathroom is just—”

    Customer: “No! How much is a latrine?”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, there’s no charge for using the—”

    Customer: “No! Of soup! How much?”

    Me: “OH! A tureen!”

    Customer: “Yes, how much is a latrine of soup?”

    Thanks For Shopping At Las Saggy Knees

    | Peterborough, UK | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any las-ange?”

    Me: “Las-ange?”

    Customer: “Yes, it says on my list, ‘las-ange.’”

    (He shows me a shopping list with the word ‘lasagne’ written on it.)

    Me: *showing him lasagna* “Here’s the lasagna.”

    Customer: “No, no! That’s lasag-knee. I want las-ange.”

    Me: “Well, lasag-knee is the same as las-ange.”

    Customer: “Hmm, I’d better leave it. I don’t want to upset the misses by getting the wrong stuff!”

    The Golden Rude

    | Summerville, SC, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working at the drive-thru at our coffee shop.)

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [coffee shop]. This is [name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: *complete silence*

    (I can see his car in our camera and he’s not talking.)

    Me: “Did you have any questions or anything?”

    Customer: “Well, there you are! What kind of smoothies do you have?”

    Me: “We have strawberry banana, orange mango banana, and chocolate banana.”

    Customer: “I want a strawberry one.”

    Me: “Okay, that will be—”

    Customer: *drives away from the speaker before I can finish*

    (The customer in front of this customer in the drive-thru line has an issue with her order, so we have to wait until it is ready. During this time I make small talk with the customer as we are trained to do. After handing the customer her beverage, the next car pulls up.)

    Me: “That will be [price]. Your smoothie is on its way!”

    Customer: “I have a concern. You just wasted 5 minutes of my time having a conversation with that other customer. If I had honked my horn, you would have called me rude, but don’t you think it is rude to have personal conversations on my time? I just can’t believe you would do things like that. My time is valuable and I don’t like my time to be wasted!”

    Me: “Well, they had an issue with their order and we had to wait. I thought it would be rude to ask her to stop talking to me. I will go check on your smoothie.”

    (I get the smoothie and come back to the window.)

    Me: “All right, there you go!”

    (I am holding the smoothie out toward the customer. He spends a good two to three minutes talking on the phone while I wait.)

    Customer: *turns and finally sees me* “Well, finally, what took so long?”

    Me: “I’ve been standing here for two minutes.”

    Customer: “Well, I was on the phone. Why didn’t you say something?”

    Me: “I didn’t want to be rude.”


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