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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    The Fine Wine Between Pleasure And Pain

    | Tallahassee, FL, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Thank you for calling Pain Management of Hamilton County. This is Pat, are you a new or existing patient?”

    Caller: “This isn’t Branchville Winery?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. This is Pain Management of Hamilton County.”

    Caller: “I guess I’m looking for a different kind of pain management…”

    Getting To The Root Of The Problem, Part 3

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m a server at an Italian restaurant. I approach a table where my guest is pointing at a moderately-priced item on our wine list.)

    Me: “Hi, there! Welcome to [restaurant]. Can I answer any questions about the wine menu?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I was gonna ask if you had any wines from Venice, but then I realized there’s no dirt there!”

    Related:
    Getting To The Root Of The Problem, Part 2
    Getting To The Root Of The Problem

    Sauce For The Saucy

    | Washington, DC, USA | Food & Drink

    (At our take-out counter, we frequently have people order online and pay by credit card before they arrive. Once in a while, someone forgets they still have to sign the receipt when they get there.)

    Caller: “Yes, hello, I’d like to speak to a manager. I have a take-out complaint.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I work at take-out; what seems to be the problem?”

    Caller: “I just came and picked up my order, and it isn’t right at all!”

    Me: “Oh, yes. You came in just a moment ago, grabbed the bag on the counter, and left?”

    Caller: “Yes, and I already paid for it.”

    Me: “True, but that bag wasn’t yours. Sir, that bag was full of our spare packets of soy sauce.”

    Caller: “Oh. I was wondering why you gave me so much of the stuff.”

    All Of The Calories, None Of The Taste

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a cashier at a local fast food place. A young woman approaches me.)

    Me: “Hello and welcome to [restaurant]. Can I take your order?”

    Customer: “I’d like a medium Diet Coke.”

    (I get the Diet Coke and give it to her. She pays and leaves. Five minutes later, she returns looking rather angry.)

    Me: “Hello, did you enjoy your Diet Coke?”

    Customer: “NO! This isn’t Diet Coke! I can taste the Coke in it!”

    Me: “Uh…let me get you a new one, then…”

    Do-Nut Yell At Me

    | Rhode Island, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m the baker and I am getting everything ready to go out into our case for display. I’m working with just one other person and he’s on drive-thru duty.)

    Coworker: “Hey, can you come help me? This guy keeps telling me he wants a glazed bagel.”

    (I walk out onto the floor and over to the window where the man is waiting with a mad look on his face.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, hun. What was it that you were looking for?”

    Customer: “I JUST WANT A GOD D*** GLAZED BAGEL!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, hun. We don’t carry glazed bagels here. I’ve worked here for four years and we have never had them.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? I get glazed bagels here all the time! You must be stupid. I know that there are glazed bagels. I’m just gonna come inside.”

    (He speeds his car away from our drive-thru window and I walk into the back to finish with all my baking that I am doing. All of a sudden, I hear the door swing open and hear a familiar loud voice.)

    Customer: “There it is! Right there! G-L-A-Z-E-D. I told you, you carry glazed bagels!”

    Coworker: *stares in shock at the man*

    Customer: “You both are stupid! Can you just get my order? I just want my coffee and my glazed DONUT!”

    (At this point, my coworker and myself both just look at one another. Then the customer seems to realize what he said.)

    Customer: “I said bagel before, didn’t I? Whatever! You should have known what I meant.”


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