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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Fast Makes Her Furious

    | Devon, UK | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (I approach a table with an elderly couple. Note that it is always the elderly woman that speaks.)

    Me: “Two gammon steaks?”

    Elderly Woman: “No.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the order was for this table. I’ll just go and check again…”

    (They ignore me. The other tables around them are either eating or haven’t ordered yet. I didn’t take their order, so I may be wrong. I check. It is definitely their table. I go back.)

    Me: “I’m sorry to bother you again. What did you order?”

    Elderly Woman: “I ordered two gammon steaks.”

    Me: “I just brought those meals to your table, ma’am, and you said they weren’t yours.”

    Elderly Woman: “I just wanted to sit and enjoy my glass of wine before I ate any food. Is that too much to ask?!”

    Me: “Of course, I will inform the chef and bring your food out to you later.”

    Elderly Woman: “You know what? I don’t even want it. Take it off my bill. I just want this wine. What kind of restaurant serves food to people in under fifteen minutes?!”

    Water You, Dense

    , | Michigan, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Top

    (I’m working the front counter. A customer comes inside carrying one of our large cups of soda. She pushes past several other customers who are waiting in line and slams the cup down onto the counter.)

    Customer: “I just came through the drive-thru and they f***ed up my order yet again! It’s not that hard, so I don’t know why you idiots can’t handle it.”

    Me: “Sorry about that. What were you missing?”

    Customer: “Nothing! It’s my drink! I ordered a large Diet Coke with the ice on the bottom.”

    (She rips the lid off of the cup. As one would expect from any soda currently obeying the laws of physics, the ice is floating on the top.)

    Customer: “What does that look like to you?!”

    Me: “Well, it looks like the ice is floating on the top.”

    Customer: “Exactly! You’re going to dump this out and remake it, with the ice on the bottom this time!”

    Me: “I’m not sure that’s possible. Ice floats, ma’am. I can’t make it stay on the bottom of the cup.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? Just put the ice in the bottom of the cup.”

    Me: “But when I fill it with soda, the ice is going to float up to the top anyway. It’s just how it works.”

    Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Just make it work.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, maybe I’m just not understanding you. If you could just show me over at the self-serve drink station, I can tell everyone else how to do it properly next time.”

    (The customer storms over to the station and empties her cup. She proceeds to fill the cup with ice, casting me smug looks over her shoulder, and then dispenses soda into the cup. When it is full, she looks down at the cup in disbelief. The customer dumps out her soda and makes another attempt. After three or four tries, she finally caps the cup again and walks out of the store, avoiding eye contact with me.)

    You Say Potato, I Say Epinephrine

    , | West Monroe, LA, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: “I said I wanted tater tots, not fries.”

    Car Hop: “Ma’am, that is an order of tater tots.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. I see a fry in there!”

    Car Hop: “It’s just one fry, ma’am. It wasn’t put in there on purpose.”

    Customer: “WHERE’S YOUR MANAGER?! I ordered tots, and that’s all I want! I’M ALLERGIC TO POTATOES!”

    Bigotry Gets Served, Part 2

    , | Orlando, FL, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (This occurs in the middle of a quiet weekday afternoon while I’m working drive-thru. Since it’s slow, I’m simultaneously taking orders on headset, working the fountain making shakes and freezes, greeting people at the window, taking their money, and passing out the orders.)

    Customer: “I want an orange freeze.”

    Me: “Alright, sir. Will that be a medium or large?”

    Customer: “Large. It’s hot out.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, it is. That’ll be [price]. Please pull around to the window.”

    (As he pulls around, I’m already at the fountain, mixing his order. I have time to pour it into the cup and meet him at the window as he pulls up. He’s driving an old beat up pick-up truck with the bed’s cap windows covered in fishing stickers.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, sir. That’ll be [price].”

    Customer: “Ya see here, this is why I like this place! Ya actually got an English speaker on both ends. Not like them other places down the road that only seem to hire damn Mexicans and Puerto Ricans. Can’t understand them f***ing sp**s on the speaker. You wanna to live in this country, needa learn the language!”

    (He hands me the cash, I enter it, and hand him his drink and change.)

    Customer: “I wanna thank your boss for hiring an American instead of some wetback. Go get me your manager, boy!”

    Me: “Absolutely, sir. Just a moment please…”

    (I turn half around and call back for my assistant manager.)

    Me: “Hey José, a customer wants to talk to you.”

    (My obviously Puerto Rican boss immediately steps around the corner into view.)

    José: “Yes?”

    Customer: *turns red and speeds out of the drive-thru*

    José: “What was that about?”

    Related:
    Bigotry Gets Served

    Saved By The Buff Belle

    , | USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: In this case, the cashier has made an error and given the customer the wrong item. However, it doesn’t justify what transpires next…)

    Customer: “I did NOT order this salad, you stupid bimbo!”

    (The customer throws the salad right at the cashier.)

    Cashier: “Hey!”

    Customer: “I did NOT order a f***ing salad!”

    Cashier: “Oh, I’m so sorry. That was my mistake.”

    Customer: “I want my entire order free!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but it does not work that way. I sincerely apologize for the error.”

    Customer: “I want my food free!”

    (The customer throws the rest of his food at the cashier, hitting another cashier who has stepped over to help wipe the mess. The manager, who has seen everything happen, speaks up.)

    Manager: “Sir, you do not do that to my employees. I’m going to have to ask you to pay not just for your order, but the salad that you have now ruined.”

    Customer: “Who are you, and what gives you the right to demand that?!”

    Manager: “I am the manager.”

    Customer: “No, you’re not. You’re a woman!”

    Manager: “I assure you, I am. This is my name tag.”

    (The manager presents her name tag, which says “Robin.”)

    Customer: “You stole that off your real manager, a man! Females spell it R-O-B-Y-N!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry if it’s confusing, but I am the manager, and that is how my name is spelled. Nevertheless, I’m going to ask you to pay for the food you threw and apologize.”

    Customer: “I want my food free! That’s it!”

    (Suddenly, a short but very muscular woman shows up and drags the customer from the counter to a wall. She is a customer who has also been watching the commotion.)

    Woman: *to the customer* “You, pay up, or you’ll have ME to deal with!”

    Customer: “Um, okay! Okay!” *pays and leaves immediately*

    (The woman who saved the day? She got a free meal!)

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