November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Giving Her Two Cents On Customer Service

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

(I work as a cashier at a concession stand during high school football games. A young girl and her father walk up to my register.)

Me: *to the father* “Just the cookies for you?”

(The father looks at his daughter and nods his head at her.)

Young Girl: “Yes, please, and I’m paying for them, too!”

Me: “Okay, that’s $1.25, please.”

(The young girl takes out her little change purse and counts out exactly $1.25, then pauses and pulls out two pennies.)

Young Girl: “That’s $1.25, and then a tip for you because you were so nice!”

(The young girl then turns to her father.)

Young Girl: “Mommy says you should tip people when they’re nice to you, and are good at their job.”

Me: “Thank you so much! Have a good night and enjoy your cookies!”

Young Girl: “You’re welcome! Thank YOU for being so nice and smiley!”

(The girl and her father came through my line again later on that evening and, once again, I earned another two-cent tip. We don’t normally take tips in that position, but it absolutely made my night!)

Call A Doctor If He Starts Chirping

| Clay, NY, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(We have a variety of animals, such as reptiles. Some reptiles require crickets as a main staple of their diet. Most people buy more than they need, and keep them in containers with special foods and drinks to feed the crickets to keep them alive. I receive a phone call.)

Me: “[Pet Store], can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah I have a question about the [Brand] cricket food. Do you know which one I’m talking about?”

Me: “Yes I do.”

Caller: “Well my 17-year-old son ate some, and I was wondering if it was safe for human consumption?”

Me: “C-come again?”

Caller: “My 17-year-old son ate some, and I was wondering if it was safe for human consumption?”

Me: “To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. Let me look at the ingredients real quick.”

(I go to read the label on the jar, and there are no indications on the label that it would be harmful to people.)

Me: “Well, I read the ingredients and I don’t really see anything on here that would make him sick.”

Caller: “Is this something we should call the doctor about?”

Me: “I honestly don’t know, but I would definitely keep an eye on him and see if he seems fine.”

Caller: “Well, he’s fine, but he’s got diarrhea.”

Me: “That’s probably why.”

Caller: “Oh.”

Me: “I don’t know what else to tell you other to keep an eye on him; I’ve never been asked about that before.”

Caller: “Okay, well we’ll let you know. Thank you for the help.”

(I texted my coworker and boss later. Apparently in their years of experience, that was a first for them, too.)

Buy Him A Hot Slice Of Karma

| MI, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I have just gotten off my shift as a cashier, and am filling up my gas tank at a gas station right near my store before I head home. My jacket is covering up my uniform. A man approaches me in his car, telling me basically his whole life story about being in the military, just getting out of the hospital, not having eaten all day, and needing food to take his diabetic medication.)

Man: “Would you be able to give me some food?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t.”

Man: “Well, why the f*** not?!”

Me: “Because, not even an hour ago, I saw you at my work, buying a full cart of groceries, and munching on a donut from our bakery. Unless you’ve eaten through all that food in so little time, I’m sure you’d be able to eat something with which to take your medication.”

Man: “F*** YOU!”

(As I go inside to buy myself something to drink, I see another poor generous soul buying him food, as well as filling his gas tank. I hope one day he gets what’s coming to him.)

Acting An Oaf About The Loaf, Part 2

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I work in a fast food sandwich chain. Our location is in a gas station, so we don’t prepare as much bread or produce as other large restaurants. Because of this, on busy days we tend to run out of certain kinds of bread.)

Customer: “Hi, can I get a [sandwich type] on cheese bread?”

Me: “Sure thing. Unfortunately, I’m all out of cheese bread at the moment. We’ve been pretty busy. Can I offer you something else?”

Customer: “So I guess that means the sandwich is free then, eh?”

Me: “Why would it be free?”

Customer: “Because you don’t have my favorite bread. That’s my favorite bread, and you haven’t got it. That’s a big problem. I’m a regular here; I own the pizza place down the road and I’m always here.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but we haven’t got any cheese bread at the moment. We’re in the process of baking more bread. If you want to wait a while, I can make you your sandwich with the bread you want.”

Customer: “NO! That’s unacceptable! I’m the customer and you’re supposed to serve me what I WANT! Where is your f****** manager?”

Me: “He isn’t in at the moment, sir. He’s here in the mornings.”

Customer: “Get him on the phone, NOW! I want to speak to him so I can tell him how to run a f****** business!”

Me: “You own the pizza place down the road, right?”

Customer: “That’s right! And we always have everything a customer wants!”

Me: “Let me ask you something: if a customer came in and asked for a slice of pepperoni pizza, and you were so busy that you didn’t have any, and he acted the way that you’re acting right now, would you serve him or would you kick him out?”

(He shut up after that and left. I came in the next morning to find a formal complaint from the head office, because of him. My boss ripped it up and gave me a pat on the back. I never saw that customer again.)

Acting An Oaf About The Loaf

Hoping They Were Born Yesterday

| Houston, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a bakery franchise that specializes in bundt cakes. On loyalty customers’ birthdays, they have the opportunity to come into the store and get a free mini cake. The following exchange happens the week before Halloween over the phone.)

Me: “Hello! Thank you for calling [Franchise Name]; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, hi. I was just calling about the birthday bundtlet? I didn’t get one.”

Me: “Oh, geez, sorry about that. When did you come in?”

Caller: “I didn’t. I never got the email with the coupon on it.”

Me: “Okay. When did you sign up for the loyalty program?”

Caller: “Um, it was for my cousin’s birthday, so it was a while ago, and…”

(The customer proceeds to ramble on for a minute or so, making me suspicious that she signed up after her birthday.)

Me: “Okay, miss. If you come in with your ID, to prove that your birthday was within a week of today, I’ll check to make sure you’re on the loyalty program and get you that cake.”

Caller: “Oh, my birthday was in August. But my husband’s birthday is in a week, so I’ll just get a bundtlet for then.”

Me: “No, that won’t work. I’m sorry.”

Caller: “God, I f****** hate this store. You never work with your customers!”