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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    It Was A Shot Glass Wedding

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

    (I’m helping a very elderly, very nice, lady get around the store. We’re in the liquor section when she asks me to read some of the labels.)

    Me: ”Well, we’ve got Jack Daniels, Cutty Sark, Bombay Sapphire, Jim Beam—”

    Lady: “No, I don’t want Jim Beam. Last time I drank, Jim Beam, I had to get married! I didn’t care for that one bit!”

    We All Have A Dream

    | Tulsa, OK, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work by myself on the overnight shift at my store. Around 1 am a little old African American lady and her granddaughter enter my store. While the grandmother goes to the bathroom, the granddaughter approaches me.)

    Granddaughter: *to me* “Are you going to be making any more fresh tea tonight?”

    Me: “Sorry, but we clean them overnight since we don’t have a high demand. We start them new around 3 am.”

    Granddaughter: “YOU’RE LAZY AND INCOMPETENT!”

    (As she continues to yell at me, she is unaware her grandmother has come out of the bathroom and is now behind her. Suddenly, the grandmother smacks her granddaughter on the back of the head and lays into her.)

    Grandmother: “Your grandfather and I did not march on Washington with the great Martin Luther King for you to treat hardworking people like that! You haven’t worked a day in your life because we worked hard and invested right so you would have better privileges than we did. If you want to act like a ghetto b****, then I can take away that nice apartment you live in and let you survive where I grew up. Now you apologize to this young lady!”

    Granddaughter: *in tears* “I’m sorry… I had no reason to behave like that. Please forgive my outburst.”

    (I did, and grandma got a free drink!)

    Not Specifying Spices Can Spark Speculation

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I work a popular sub sandwich chain. I’m finishing up a customer’s sandwich with vegetables and condiments.)

    Me: “Would you like anything else?”

    Customer: “Yeah, some peppers.”

    (Note: the customer is very clearly pronouncing the “s” in “peppers.” We have bell peppers, pepperoncinis, and jalapeños.)

    Me: “Which kind?”

    Customer: “Peppers.”

    Me: “Which kind of peppers?”

    Customer: “PEP-PERS. PEPPERS!”

    Me: “Yes, but which kind?”

    Customer: “Freaking black peppers! Right there in the shaker! The only peppers you have!”

    Me: “Oh, pepper! I’m sorry, I thought you were talking about the veggies.”

    Customer: “Why would peppers be a vegetable?! It’s just little black flakes!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: *to her companion* “Dumb b****!”

    A-tip-ical Aging

    | Mountain View, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m a woman and manager at a sausage/beer stand. I card everyone that orders beer, regardless of how old they look. Some customers get insulted, while others don’t mind. Note: I look at least 10 years younger than my actual age.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like two beers, polish, and a coke.”

    Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

    Customer: “I’m waaay older than you. How old do I look?”

    (He looks in his mid-30s, so I guess much earlier in age.)

    Me: “Uh, 24?”

    Customer: “Haha! NO!”

    (He shows me his ID, and his birth date makes him over 35.)

    Me: “Wow, you don’t look it.”

    Customer: “How old are you?”

    Me: “I’m 47.”

    Customer: *skeptically* “Sure… you can’t be any older than 30. Okay, show me YOUR ID.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I pull out my ID. Much to his surprise, he sees I’m older than he is.)

    Customer: “HOLY S***! WOW! You look great! Good genes, huh?”

    Me: *smiling* “Yeah, something like that…”

    (He pays for his order, but also puts an additional $10 bill on the counter.)

    Customer: “This tip is for putting up with me!”

    (Made my night!)

    The Proof Is In The Toppings

    | Georgia, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m working at a popular sandwich chain during a busy dinner rush. Two men, one of which is much older than the other, approach the counter. The younger man orders two footlongs while the older one hangs back, so I figure they are for the both of them. After I finish, I attempt to move on to the next customer.)

    Older Customer: “EXCUSE ME, are you just gonna f***in’ skip me?”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought your order was finished. What can I get for you?”

    Older Customer: “I want two footlong clubs on white bread, double meat.”

    (I get the bread out, cut it, and realize that the kind of sandwich he requested has slipped my mind.)

    Me: “Sir, can you remind me what kind of sandwiches you wanted?”

    Older Customer: “I JUST f***in’ told you.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, it’s just been a very long day, sir. It slipped my mind. I remember you wanted double meat, though.”

    Older Customer: “I ain’t holdin’ your hand, little girl. You better remember f***in’ quick.”

    (Luckily for me, the younger man steps in, looking apologetic, and tells me.)

    Older Customer: “What’re you doin’? These monkeys need to learn better!”

    (I remain quiet and begin making the sandwiches. Note: a regular club sandwich is made with four slices turkey folded, fourslices roast beef folded, and two slices of ham laid flat. To save time, I usually take two slices of meat together and add them like that, as is the case here.)

    Older Customer: “That’s not double meat.”

    Me: “Yes it is, sir…”

    (I explain the sandwich formula to him and show the amount of meat on the bread.)

    Older Customer: “It doesn’t look like double meat to me.”

    Me: “I’ve already shown you that it is, sir.”

    Older Customer: “Double meat means double meat!”

    Me: “I gave you double meat. I’ve already explained that.”

    Older Customer: “DOUBLE MEAT MEANS DOUBLE GODD*** MEAT!”

    (Suddenly, my coworker running the register jumps in, pulls our sandwich-making reference sheet off the sneeze-guard, and shoves it in the older customer’s face.)

    Coworker: “As you can see, sir, this is the proper formula for a club. Why don’t we just make sure your sandwich has exactly double of that?”

    (My coworker grabs a piece of deli paper and, piece by piece, disassembles the sandwich while loudly counting the slices and then places them on the paper. The older customer looks very embarrassed, while everyone in line who isn’t pissed off is snickering wildly—even his young companion.)

    Older Customer: “OKAY! OKAY! I BELIEVE YOU! JUST MOVE ON!”

    Coworker: “Are you sure? I could count it again if you aren’t.”

    Older Customer: *mumbles* “D*** b****es!”

    (On the plus side, he kept completely silent for the rest of the transaction with his head down.)

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