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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Screaming Some Nonsense Can Lead To Slapping Some Sense

    , | USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m working at a fast food restaurant when a man suddenly storms up to the counter, completely ignores the woman whose order I’m taking, and starts screaming obscenities at me.)

    Customer: “All you f***ing losers can go straight to h***!”

    Me: “What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “Every time I come here, it happens! You always get it wrong! I ordered this burger without tomato, and look at this! There’s a d*** tomato on it!”

    (He shoves the burger under my nose. I glance down and see that the burger isn’t ours, but our competitor’s, from across the street.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I think you ordered this at [competitor restaurant] across the way. You need to complain to them.”

    Customer: “I know what I’m talking about! I’m not a f***ing r*****!”

    (Suddenly, the other customer he cut in front of slaps him on the backside of the head. Note that the other customer is a woman and can’t be more than five feet tall and a hundred pounds.)

    Customer: “What the f***?!”

    Other Customer: “You deserved that. You’re being stupid. Get the h*** out of here!”

    Customer: “You telling me what to do, b****?!”

    (She slaps him again, this time on the face.)

    Other Customer: “Now, have you learned your lesson?”

    Customer: *suddenly meek* “Yes, ma’am.”

    Other Customer: “Good. Apologize.”

    Customer: “I’m… I’m sorry. I must’ve went to the wrong place.”

    (Dazed, the customer wanders out of the restaurant, leaving his burger behind. I gave the woman her meal for free!)

    This Happens With Alarming Regularity

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I finish a transaction for a customer and hand him his receipt.)

    Me: “Thank you! Have a nice day!”

    Customer: *eats receipt*

    Me: *stares, speechless*

    Customer: “It’s a good source of fiber!”

    Don’t Make A Dare With The Hair

    | Great Falls, MT, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

    (A customer comes into our sandwich shop. Instead of ordering at the counter, he sits down and spends 15 minutes staring at us from the table. However, he ignores all of our attempts to talk to him. Finally, he storms up to the register where I am and starts yelling.)

    Customer: “When the f*** is one of your waiters going to take my f***ing order? I’ve been waiting here for half an hour!”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t have waiters. You have to come up to the register to take your order. I’ll be happy to take your order for you, and we’ll probably have it ready before you finish paying.”

    Customer: “No, my friend told me this is a classy joint! Classy joints have waiters! Now get a f***ing waiter out here or I’m leaving!”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t have waiters, and if you insist on swearing at me I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “Make me f***er! Come at me, bro! You’re just a f***** with girl hair!”

    (Note: I am a man with shaggy hair.)

    Me: “Sir, please leave.”

    Customer: “Suck my ****!”

    (Fed up, my manager intervenes.)

    Manager: “I’m calling the cops, so you can tell them to suck your **** all you like if you’re still here when they get here.”

    Customer: *points at me* “Send this little f***** outside! I’ll be in the alley!”

    (The customer storms out through the back door, which is for employees only. As my manager starts to dial the cops, he turns to me.)

    Manager: *conspiratorially* “Hey, if you wanna take a break out in the alley, that’s cool.”

    Me: “Excellent!”

    (I go out the back door and find the belligerent customer still there.)

    Customer: *sees me and freezes in place*

    Me: *jumps over the rail separating us*

    Customer: *takes off running*

    (Instead of giving chase, I returned to the store. The police called a few minutes later telling us they had him in custody.)

    Good Money Drive-Thrus Out Bad

    | Ontario, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (I am working drive-thru at a major coffee shop chain. Every once in awhile, customers will “pay it forward” by paying for the order of the vehicle behind them. This is a happy surprise for the next customer, and usually causes them to pay for the order of the next vehicle and so on. We’re currently in the middle of a “pay it forward” chain when the following customer pulls up at the window.)

    Me: “Hello, your total is $3.49, but the car in front of you has already paid for it.”

    Customer: “What the f***?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s been going for 11 cars in a row. You can pay it forward if you’d like to keep the good deed going. No pressure, though.”

    Customer: “F*** that! I’ll pay for my own coffee. Not paying for some clown behind me!”

    Me: “Not a problem. Your order has been paid for. Have a good day.”

    Customer: “Are you deaf?! I said I am paying for it! This is such a scam getting people to pay for others. You’re what’s wrong with the world today, you know!”

    Me: “I’m sorry for trying to give you your order for free.”

    Customer: “That’s right, and don’t you DARE use my money to pay for the person behind me, you punk!”

    (The customer peels away. As for their money, I used it to keep the chain going, which lasted for another 14 vehicles.)

    Saving The Duke From The Puke

    | West Jefferson, NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “I’ll have two pounds of mac & cheese, 3 pounds of potato wedges, 2 pounds of boneless wings, and 10 cheese sticks. I also need 4 pounds of cooked ham, sliced on a #2.”

    Me: “Alright! Having a party, huh?”

    Customer: “No, this is for my dog.”

    Me: *taken off-guard* “Oh…” *jokingly* “…well, is he having a party then?”

    Customer:  ”I don’t appreciate your tone!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I was only kidding.”

    (I fill her order in silence. After weighing the potato wedges, she says…)

    Customer: “Can’t you go any faster?! The Duke will surely starve!”

    Me: “I’ll do the best I can, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well, see that you do! My sweet doggie is hungry!”

    (Meanwhile, a man walks up and begins talking to the customer while I finish her order. This takes about 10 minutes, as I have to cook more chicken. As I turn around from the meat slicer to give her the last bag of sliced ham, I see her walking away with the man. She has left her entire order on the counter.)

    Me: “Ma’am! MA’AM! Your order, ma’am!”

    Customer: “Oh, nevermind, dear! He brought me some dog food from the pet aisle!”

    Me: *speechless*

    (She wasted at least $40 worth of food!)

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