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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Saved By The Buff Belle

    , | USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: In this case, the cashier has made an error and given the customer the wrong item. However, it doesn’t justify what transpires next…)

    Customer: “I did NOT order this salad, you stupid bimbo!”

    (The customer throws the salad right at the cashier.)

    Cashier: “Hey!”

    Customer: “I did NOT order a f***ing salad!”

    Cashier: “Oh, I’m so sorry. That was my mistake.”

    Customer: “I want my entire order free!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but it does not work that way. I sincerely apologize for the error.”

    Customer: “I want my food free!”

    (The customer throws the rest of his food at the cashier, hitting another cashier who has stepped over to help wipe the mess. The manager, who has seen everything happen, speaks up.)

    Manager: “Sir, you do not do that to my employees. I’m going to have to ask you to pay not just for your order, but the salad that you have now ruined.”

    Customer: “Who are you, and what gives you the right to demand that?!”

    Manager: “I am the manager.”

    Customer: “No, you’re not. You’re a woman!”

    Manager: “I assure you, I am. This is my name tag.”

    (The manager presents her name tag, which says “Robin.”)

    Customer: “You stole that off your real manager, a man! Females spell it R-O-B-Y-N!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry if it’s confusing, but I am the manager, and that is how my name is spelled. Nevertheless, I’m going to ask you to pay for the food you threw and apologize.”

    Customer: “I want my food free! That’s it!”

    (Suddenly, a short but very muscular woman shows up and drags the customer from the counter to a wall. She is a customer who has also been watching the commotion.)

    Woman: *to the customer* “You, pay up, or you’ll have ME to deal with!”

    Customer: “Um, okay! Okay!” *pays and leaves immediately*

    (The woman who saved the day? She got a free meal!)

    The Less This Employee Nose, The Better

    , | Kennebunk, ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (Our store has just started their avocado promotion which seems to be very popular.)

    Customer: “My husband wants avocado on his sandwich… weirdo!”

    Me: “Yeah, I’m not a big fan either, to be honest.” *starts putting avocado on her sandwich*

    Customer: “Ew! I don’t know how he can cut an avocado in half and just scoop out the guts. Gross!”

    Me: “Oh, does he?”

    Customer: “Yeah! It’s so nasty! He’s so weird! If I want to eat anything green and goopy, it better be coming out of my own nose!”

    Steeps Tall Brewings In A Single Ground

    | Texas, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    Customer: “What comes in a Caramel Macchiato? Do you guys make a better one than [competitor #1]?”

    Me: “Well, sir, we make it with [ingredients], while [competitor #1] makes it with [competitor #1's ingredients], an [competitor #3] makes it with [competitor #3's ingredients].”

    Customer: *stunned* “Wow! How do you guys know that?!”

    Me: “Well, I’ve worked at all of those other places before I got here, so I know a few of their tricks.”

    Customer: “Man, you’re, like… Super Barista!”

    (The man orders a caramel macchiato and pays happily. The next day, he catches me in the middle of taking out trash. Rather than removing my apron, I simply turn it backward to avoid getting it dirty, inadvertently making it appear as if I’m wearing a cape. Suddenly, the customer from the day before comes driving by.)

    Customer: “SUPER BARISTA!”

    What Goes Around Coffees Around

    | Ireland | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I have just finished serving a mother, but her daughter has dropped her juice so I have to mop up the spill. As part of our goodwill policy for spills, I also give the little girl another juice on the house. I then began serving the next customer.)

    Next Customer: “You shouldn’t have given her a free juice. It’s her own fault for being clumsy!”

    Me: “Well, it’s part of our goodwill policy. Accidents do happen, you know.”

    Next Customer: “Well, children shouldn’t be in a place like this in the first place. People should take responsibility for their actions!”

    (The customer takes her coffee, and as she approaches her seat she trips over her own feet and tosses her mug across the table. She splashes coffee everywhere: on the wall, on the floor, and all over the table and chairs.)

    Next Customer: *sheepishly* “I spilled my coffee. Can you make me another one to take away, please?”

    Lightening In A Bottle

    | Maryland, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (The wine store I work at has a fully functional bar. On this particular night, the store is very busy as we are having a wine tasting that is open to the public. This day also happens to be the one before my birthday. I am mixing a drink for a well-to-do regular customer).

    Customer: “So, how have you been lately?”

    Me: “Pretty good.”

    Customer: “What time will you be in tomorrow?”

    Me: “I actually have the day off. It is my birthday.”

    Customer: “Oh, is it? Did [owner] get you anything nice?”

    Me: “I doubt it.”

    Customer: “Well, that is too bad. Hey, could you help me find a good Portuguese wine?”

    (For the next ten minutes, I show him red blends, Riojas, and other wonderful Portuguese wines.)

    Customer: “If you could get any of these, which would you get?”

    Me: “Well, that depends. Most of these are out of my price range, but this $10.99 bottle would be great.”

    Customer: “But I want the best one that is over here, regardless of price.”

    (I show him a really good one that is $60 a bottle.)

    Customer: “I want this one. Can I buy it, set it on the counter, and enjoy some more drinks at the bar?”

    Me: “Absolutely!”

    (The customer stays for a few more hours talking to me about the college I had went to, and jobs I am interested in. About an hour before closing, he says it is time to go, and heads to the counter where his purchases are still sitting. I proceed to clean up the bar as he approaches me.)

    Customer: “I thought it a shame that a person as friendly and knowledgable as you didn’t get a birthday gift after working here for years. This is yours.”

    (He hands me a wrapped bag, and when I unwrap it, it is the expensive wine I had recommended. As I look up to thank him, he is already out the door, but he gives me a wave and a large smile. It is people like that who make working a minimum wage job worth it!)

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