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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Saving The Duke From The Puke

    | West Jefferson, NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “I’ll have two pounds of mac & cheese, 3 pounds of potato wedges, 2 pounds of boneless wings, and 10 cheese sticks. I also need 4 pounds of cooked ham, sliced on a #2.”

    Me: “Alright! Having a party, huh?”

    Customer: “No, this is for my dog.”

    Me: *taken off-guard* “Oh…” *jokingly* “…well, is he having a party then?”

    Customer:  ”I don’t appreciate your tone!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I was only kidding.”

    (I fill her order in silence. After weighing the potato wedges, she says…)

    Customer: “Can’t you go any faster?! The Duke will surely starve!”

    Me: “I’ll do the best I can, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well, see that you do! My sweet doggie is hungry!”

    (Meanwhile, a man walks up and begins talking to the customer while I finish her order. This takes about 10 minutes, as I have to cook more chicken. As I turn around from the meat slicer to give her the last bag of sliced ham, I see her walking away with the man. She has left her entire order on the counter.)

    Me: “Ma’am! MA’AM! Your order, ma’am!”

    Customer: “Oh, nevermind, dear! He brought me some dog food from the pet aisle!”

    Me: *speechless*

    (She wasted at least $40 worth of food!)

    It Pays To Be Patient, Part 3

    , | Minnesota, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I am a manager at a fast food restaurant. Things have been running behind in the kitchen, so we are caught off-guard with a long line of cars, forcing customers to wait while their food is cooked. I deliver an order to one particularly unhappy customer.)

    Me: “Here you go, sir. I’m so sorry about the wait.”

    Customer: *snatches the bag from my hands and screeches off without a word*

    (A couple days later, I am working the morning shift again and the same man comes through the drive-thru.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, were you the girl I was angry with the other morning?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. I’m so sorry for making you wait so long.”

    Customer: “No, I’m sorry. You were just trying to do your job. Have a nice day!”

    (The customer proceeds to place a 10 dollar bill in my hand. I definitely had a nice day!)

    Related:
    It Pays To Be Patient, Part 2
    It Pays To Be Patient

    Husband And Strife

    | Maine, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners, Wild & Unruly

    (A man walks in with his wife and starts ordering their food. She goes over to the soda machine to grab a drink, but the ice machine stops working. Frustrated, the wife starts slamming on the bar you push to get ice.)

    Wife: “IT’S NOT WORKING!”

    Me: “I’ll be right over. Sometimes it jams and you just have to hold down the handle for a bit.”

    (I go over and hold down the handle for a good 30 seconds which is usually enough time for the ice to start coming out again, but it still doesn’t work.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry about that. Usually there’s an additional charge for bottled drinks but you can have one for no extra cost if that’s okay.”

    Wife: “Okay, thanks.”

    (The wife goes to grab a drink but just stands there for a moment.)

    Wife: “You know what? WHATS THE POINT OF GRABBING A G**D*** DRINK IF THERE’S NO G**D*** ICE?!”

    Husband: “Baby, it’s fine. Just grab a bottled drink.”

    Wife: “NO, IT REALLY ISN’T!” *throws cup on the ground and stomps out the door*

    Me: “I’m so sorry… you can have a bottled drink for free at this point.”

    Husband: “Really?”

    Me: “Yeah, sure. I’m sorry about the ice.”

    Husband: “No, no, don’t worry about it. She’s just a huge b****!”

    Breaking Bread Can Break You Up

    , | Maine, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

    (A couple comes in and races up to the sandwich unit.)

    Woman: “Hi, we only need one sandwich for our kid. I’m gonna make it quick, I promise. He wants a six inch white—”

    Man: “No, he doesn’t. He wants flatbread.”

    Woman: “No, he wants white!”

    Man: “Flatbread!”

    Woman: “Shut up, I know what he wants!”

    Man: “No, you don’t! He won’t eat white bread!”

    Woman: *sighs* “Is there any way I can get the sandwich on a flatbread, but put white bread on the side? I know I’m right, and he hates flatbreads.”

    Me: “Yes, of course. It’s just costs a bit extra.”

    Woman: “Okay, so turkey and cheddar cheese.”

    Man: *shakes his head* “He likes American.”

    Woman: “No, he doesn’t!”

    Man: “Yes, he does!”

    Woman: “Shut up! You’re confusing people!”

    Me: “Would you like me to put some American on the side?”

    Woman: “No! He HATES American, so there’s no point. Besides, he wants it toasted.”

    Man: “Finally! Something right!”

    Woman: “Right, so toasted with olives and mustard, and that’s it.”

    Man: “He wants lettuce, too.”

    Woman: “Fine, s***! Put lettuce on there and when he won’t eat it. Whatever!”

    Me: “…Anything else?”

    Woman: “No. HE’S probably confusing you already.”

    Man: “YOU’RE the confusing one.”

    (I ring them up and they calm down as they get ready to leave.)

    Woman: “Thanks, sorry about that. We didn’t mean to confuse you!”

    Please Pull Up To The Next Fast One

    , | Maine, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I am working the first window of the drive-thru taking people’s money. Our store has a policy that if you don’t get a receipt or if you are not offered a receipt, then your order is free. A man comes up to my window and shoves a wad of bills and change into my hand and immediately drives off to the next window. I don’t think much of it, because the guy had exact change. A short time later, my manager comes up to me.)

    Manager: “A customer is insisting on getting their food for free. He says that you didn’t give him his receipt nor ask him if he wanted one.”

    (I explain to my manager what happened, and then go and talk to the customer.)

    Me: “Sir, you didn’t give me a chance to offer you a receipt or to complete the transaction. As soon as you gave me your money, you sped off.”

    Customer: “That’s NOT what the sign says! It’s not my fault you’re slow! I was not given a receipt, correct? You did not ask me if I wanted a receipt, correct? Therefore, I get my food for free!”

    (My manager decides not to argue with the man and refunds his money. A few days later, a man places an order and I am pretty sure it is the same customer. Sure enough, I immediately recognize him when he pulls up to my window. Again, he shoves a wad of bills and change at me. However, I don’t reach out to take it just yet.)

    Me: “Good evening, sir! Would you like your receipt today?”

    Customer: “D*** it! You recognized me, didn’t you?”

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