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  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    You’re Hot And Your Cold You’re Yes And You’re No, Part 2

    | Okemos, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My coworker is taking drive-thru orders, and I’m filling them.)

    Coworker: “Thank you for choosing [cafe]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I’d like a large iced mocha latte, please.”

    Coworker: “Your total is [total]. Please pull forward.”

    (The customer is given the drink, but sends it back through the window.)

    Customer: “This isn’t what I wanted. I wanted the hot mocha latte.”

    Coworker: “Well, you did say the iced mocha latte. We’ll fix it for you though.”

    Customer: “Oh. So when you say iced, it doesn’t mean the hot one?”

    Related:
    You’re Hot And Your Cold You’re Yes And You’re No

    Pretty Fly For A Strange Guy

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss, look what I found in my drink.”

    (He holds a dead fly up. I have no idea how it got in his drink, but I’m mortified.)

    Me: “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! Let me find my manager for you.”

    Customer: “Nah, it’s okay. I drank it all and it’s no big deal.” *laughs*

    Me: “That’s really nice of you, sir, but I do want to tell my manager about it. This sort of thing is not supposed to happen.”

    (The customer keeps holding the fly in his hand. I go looking for my manager but can’t find him. I don’t want to keep the customer waiting for their check forever, so I go back to the table.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t find him, but as soon as I see him I’ll make sure to tell him about this. But here’s a coupon for your next visit, and I took the drinks off your check.”

    Customer: *smiling* “Thanks! But really, it’s no big deal. It’s kind of funny. Hey, look who’s not dead after all?” *holds up the fly, which is now squirming* “Ain’t he cute?”

    (He suddenly smashes the fly on the table, wipes his now fly-gut covered hand on my apron, and leaves.)

    Failed Across The Board-ing

    , | MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (I recently started working at a restaurant in my local airport. We serve passengers waiting to board their flights. As a rule, we tell all of our customers how long their food will take so that they don’t risk missing their flight or not receiving their food in time to board. I am visibly pregnant.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Can I get a cheeseburger combo from the grill?”

    Me: “Sure! Just so you know, they usually take about 10-15 minutes to make. Is that alright?”

    Customer: “Yeah, that’s fine…”

    (I give the woman her total, cash out the transaction, and she goes to her boarding area. After about five minutes, she returns.)

    Customer: “Where the f*** is my burger?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I said before, they take anywhere from 10-15 minutes to make. I can go check and see how much longer it will be for you.”

    Customer: “Bulls***! You didn’t tell me that! My plane is boarding! I’m going to miss my flight!”

    Me: “Hold on one second, ma’am and I’ll go check.”

    Customer: “No, f*** that! I want a manager and a refund!”

    (I fetch my manager.)

    Customer: “I want this pregnant s*** fired! She didn’t tell me that the food would take this long! How could you even hire someone like that? I don’t want some knocked up s*** taking my order!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, you are entitled to a refund. However, you are not entitled to insult my cashier and disturb the other customers. Also, I don’t doubt that my cashier told you how long the food would take. I’m betting you didn’t notice her saying it. Just like you didn’t notice that she is wearing a wedding band excluding her from your s*** comment, didn’t notice that your food has been sitting on the hot tray for a full two minutes while you berated my employee, and didn’t notice that your flight is not boarding. The flight boarding is for uniformed military only.”

    Customer:*stammers, takes her burger, and goes back to her boarding area in silence*

    Telling Creeps To Bite Me

    | Nashville, TN, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m standing in line at a coffee shop when I overhear this exchange between the barista and a creepy older customer who is obviously hitting on her.)

    Barista: “What can I get you, sir?”

    Creepy Customer: “…And why aren’t you on the menu, my dear? You look good.”

    Barista: “Because, sir, that would be cannibalism. What type of coffee can I get you?”

    (Dejected, the creepy customer orders a coffee and slinks out of line. Afterwards…)

    Me: “That happen often?”

    Barista: *smiles* “It’s his third attempt.”

    A (Po)Lite Snack

    | NM, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (The theater I work at is cheap; the tickets are roughly half-price of the regular theaters. We get a lot of families, children and seniors, but have recently had a rash of extremely rude children. I’m working concession when a young boy—about 7 years old—comes up with his Mother. He takes a long time reviewing the menu and prices, so I ask him if I can help.)

    Boy: “I need to buy snacks, please. I have $9.”

    Me: “$9 is a great amount! Let’s see what we can get for you.”

    Boy: “Hmmm. May I have a water, please?”

    Me: “Of course, but if you’d like, I could sell you a cup instead. The water is $2.50; the cup is $0.25 and you can refill it as much as you’d like.”

    (He agrees to get the ice cup, and starts counting his money on the counter.)

    Boy: “Ma’am? Thank you for your suggestion about the cup!”

    (Stunned that this small child is so polite and well-spoken, I turn around to see if his mom is coaching him. She’s not.)

    Me: “You’re very welcome, young man! What else may I get for you?”

    (The boy thinks a little at this point, looking at the candy case.)

    Boy: “Every month I take my mom on a date. I already took her to dinner, then we got ice cream, and now I’m taking her to a movie! I need to make sure I treat her right!”

    Me: “That’s so thoughtful! You are a wonderful son, and a very polite young man!”

    Boy: “I love my mom. She’s the best!” *smiles*

    (Moved by his thoughtfulness, his manners, and his absolutely charming smile, I decide to help him out a bit.)

    Me: “Okay, here you are: your cup, a popcorn and a candy. It’ll be $3.25.”

    Boy: *confused look* “Okay?”

    (He hands me $4 after I assure him that his total is $3.25, so I start ringing him up.)

    Boy: “Ma’am? Can you keep the change for yourself as a tip?”

    (My heart melts at this. I did keep the change, but I put it toward the remaining $3.25 I hadn’t charged him, and then covered the rest out of my own pocket. He thanked me again and walked off hand-in-hand with his mom. All of the employees were tickled to see this little boy on his ‘date’ with Mom, and were very glad we were able help by paying for part of his concession but also get to let him feel like a grown-up by paying for part of his snacks. Later, as he’s leaving, I see him putting his trash into the can in the lobby. He sees me and begins to wave.)

    Boy: *waving* “Have a very good night!”

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