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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergy’s, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Super Fries Me

    | Hawaii, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m working as a register for a fast food restaurant.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I would like an extra large fries.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we have discontinued the extra large fries, sir.”

    Customer: “Just dump the fries into an extra large cup and give it to me!”

    Me: “Um, let me go check with my manager if that’s all right.”

    (While he waits, the customer behaves oddly and starts doing a jig in front of the counter. My manager says to give the customer what he wants.)

    Me: “My manager has agreed to serve you the fries in an extra large cup.”

    Customer: “Thank you!”

    (I ring him up for an extra large soda, and then hand him the cup of fries with the lid on. He pays and inspects the cup.)

    Customer: “I also need you to put soda and ice cream in here. These fries are too dry!”

    Manager: *hesitantly* “Okay…”

    (My manager takes the cup, pours soda and dispenses some ice cream onto the fries, and hands him a fork and spoon as well. The customer walks over to a table and begins eating.)

    Customer: “This tastes funny! I want a full refund!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, I cannot do that—”

    (Suddenly, the customer throws the fork and spoon at us and spills some of his cup onto the counter trying to get it on me. He then goes outside and throws the cup into the window, splattering its contents everywhere, before storming off.)

    Just Mildly Stupid

    , | Rochester, New York, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m taking a phone call for the pizzeria I work at. Everything is going fairly normal until the customer places an order for wings.)

    Me: “Okay, would you like you boneless wings or traditional wings?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “Well, traditional wings are bone-in and boneless wings don’t have bones in them.”

    Customer: “Whatever, I just want them mild.”

    Me: “Okay, would you like that in our mild BBQ or mild buffalo sauce?”

    Customer: “No, just mild.”

    Me: “We carry a mild BBQ and a mild buffalo. Which could I get for you tonight?”

    Customer: “No! I just want your traditional mild!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s one order of mild buffalo–”

    Customer: “NO! Just MILD!”

    Don’t Make Me Clean Up This One

    | California, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “I love the f*** out of yogurt. I would make love to yogurt!”

    Me: *awkward laughter*

    (The customer picks her yogurt and I ring her up without any issues.)

    Customer: “Do y’all have a bathroom I can take this into?”

    Deficiency Leads To Stupidity

    | Florida, USA | Food & Drink

    (In my store, we sell mainly natural real fruit smoothies, but we do have additions like vitamins, antioxidants, and whey protein. All of our additions are listed on our menu. A lady who looks to be in her mid 40s approaches my counter.)

    Me: “Hi there. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: *reading addition section* “What is protein?”

    Me: *thinking she unfamiliar with “whey”* “Well, it’s protein made from dairy that’s been processed into a powder. Ours is vanilla flavored, so it goes well with all of our fruits.”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah, but what is protein?”

    Me: *confused* “Protein? You mean the like the stuff you normally get from eating meat or eggs?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’ve never heard of it before. What is it?”

    Pudding The P In Peculiar

    | Portland, OR, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Would you like a bag for your items?”

    Customer: “I want pudding.”

    (We’re a party store famous for giving out free popcorn, so I offer him popcorn instead.)

    Me: “I don’t have any pudding, but I can give you some free popcorn.”

    Customer: “Not good enough.”

    Me: “They both start with ‘P’.”

    Customer: “Nope!” *walks away with items in hand*


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