Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Motherly Advice To Mother
    (1,638 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Whoever Said Easter Isn’t Egg-citing Is Hopping Mad

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

    (This happens around Easter. A man in an Easter Bunny suit comes riding a unicycle into the parking lot and enters the shop.)

    Me: “Hey there, Easter Bunny!”

    Easter Bunny: “Donuts? Sick! I’ll have three strawberry, three cherry, and three blueberry, glazed, and with frosting and sprinkles!”

    Me: *hands him the bag* “Anything else?”

    Easter Bunny: “Nah! Donuts! Sick!”

    (The Easter Bunny suddenly SLAMS his head on the counter, which would have been quite painful if not for the headpiece on his costume. An egg rolls out seemingly from nowhere and onto the counter. He walks out without another word, hops onto his unicycle and rides off. The egg contained exact change—plus a labeled five dollar tip!)

    Don’t Tip Her Off

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    Customer: “I’ll have my ciabatta loaf and a small latte.”

    Me: “That comes to $9.90.”

    (The customer hands me a $10 dollar bill, and I give her 10 cents change. Then, she produces her loyalty card. I see that she is up for a free coffee.)

    Me: “Oh, you’re due for your free coffee. I’ll give you some extra change back.” *I hand her the extra change*

    Customer: “No! I don’t want it! I don’t want the money!”

    Me: “But you’ve earned a free coffee.”

    Customer: “I come in here EVERY time and I order a ciabatta loaf and a coffee, and it comes to $9.90. I give you a $10 note, and I give you a 10 cent tip!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry… did you want to save your free coffee for another day? It’s alright. I can—”

    Customer: “No, it’s NOT alright! I didn’t want the free coffee! I don’t want it! You don’t get your 10 cent tip today!”

    Me: “Okay… well, I’ll just have to wear that.”

    Customer: “Stupid woman. You don’t get your 10 cent tip today!” *leaves*

    Waste Lots, Want Not

    | Sydney, Australia | Food & Drink

    (This conversation takes place about 10 minutes before closing time.)

    Customer: “Why are half the bowls empty? I paid my money; I want them to be full!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am but there are some salads that can’t be kept overnight for health reasons so we discard them at the end of service. As we close in 10 minutes, we run them as low as possible to reduce wastage.”

    Customer: “That’s not good enough.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, ma’am. If you could let me know which salads in particular you would like to try, I can replace them for you.”

    Customer: “No. I want you to fill everything. I should be able to pick which ones I want to eat.”

    Me: “Just to be clear, you want me to completely fill half the bar so you can have a few servings, even though it’s all going to be thrown out in 10 minutes?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Voracity Is The Mother Of Intervention

    | Ontario, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (This occurs when I’m bringing desserts and coffee to a table with two customers—one middle-aged woman and one elderly woman.)

    Me: “Here you go. Is there anything else I can get for you ladies?”

    Middle-aged Customer: “An extra fork, please.”

    Me: “I’ll get you one right away.”

    (After I return with her fork…)

    Elderly Customer: “Excuse me, but my coffee is far too strong.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “…and old. I tried some, and it’s clearly been sitting for a long time.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about the strength, although I actually made that coffee after you ordered it. I can make you another less strong one if you’d like.”

    Elderly Customer: “Yes, please.”

    (I leave, make her a new coffee at half-strength and come back to return it, at which point they’ve eaten all of their dessert.)

    Me: “Here you go.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Excuse me, but the mango cheesecake was far too sweet.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. The cheesecake is something they make in the kitchen, but I’ll certainly let them know for you.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Could I maybe get a discount on it, or have it for free because of that?”

    Me: “Um… I can ask the chef for you, but I don’t think he’ll say yes, since you finished the whole thing.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Well, I didn’t mention this earlier, but my dinner was also too salty.”

    Me: “Again, I can let them know, and ask about a discount, but you ate the whole thing, so I doubt I’ll be allowed to reduce the price for you.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “The scallops in it were mushy, too!”

    Me: “Well, they were breaded scallops and the dish you ordered was very saucy. It’s unfortunately unavoidable that they’d get somewhat soft from the sauce. Again, I can talk to the kitchen for you, but I doubt there’ll be any result.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Hmm…” *to the elderly customer* “Did we order any appetizers?”

    Elderly Customer: “The appetizer was delicious, you said so yourself. Now stop trying to get freebies and let the poor girl go do her job. There’s other people at other tables that you’re keeping her from helping by holding her here with all your complaints.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Fine! That’s everything. Just bring us the bill.”

    (As I leave to go to the kitchen and deliver her complaints, I hear the elderly customer berating the middle-aged one.)

    Elderly Customer: “Shame on you, a grown woman! I didn’t raise you to be a greedyguts!”

    Related:
    Necessity Is The Mother Of Intervention

    One Bloody Scary On The Shocks

    | Sydney, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am working at the bar on a particularly busy night and I don’t realise that I have cut one of my fingers. As I hand a customer his drink, I notice a bit of blood on the glass.)

    Me: “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I must have cut myself. Let me remake that for you!”

    Customer: “Don’t worry, it’s fine.”

    Me: “No, I cut myself and there’s a bit of blood on that glass. Please, let me give you a new one.”

    (Before I can take the glass back, the customer picks it up.)

    Customer: “I like it this way. Don’t worry!”

    Me: “But—”

    (The customer turns the glass around and drinks from the side with my blood.)

    Customer: *grinning* “Mmmm, delicious! Thanks!”

    Me: *horrified*

    Page 147/246First...145146147148149...Last