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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    They’ll Always Be (Baby) Back For More

    | Glendale Heights, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer has just given me her order for a full-slab of ribs. She seems nice and even-tempered until this moment.)

    Customer: “That’s to go, and I want to talk to your manager!”

    (I call over the manager.)

    Manager: “Yes, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Last time I came here, I ordered your ribs and they were absolutely DISGUSTING! There was barely ANY sauce and they were cold and gross!”

    Manager: “Did you contact us? We could have given you customer credit.”

    Customer: “NO! Why would I EVER want to come back?!” *pays for her ribs and storms off*

    Whiskey Unwise And Brand Foolish

    | Porto, Portugal | Food & Drink

    Patron: “Good evening! I’ll have a whiskey cola.”

    (I serve him a generic whiskey with cola.)

    Me: “Here you go! That will be [amount].”

    Patron: “Hey, that wasn’t [whiskey label]! I want [whiskey label] with cola.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but since most of our customers don’t ask for any special brand labeled whiskey, we serve a generic brand to save on costs. If you want a special labeled whiskey, you just have to ask for it. The price is the same. I’ll get you your [whiskey label) for free, but please be sure to ask it by name the next time.”

    (15 minutes later, the same patron approaches the bar.)

    Patron: “F***! Serve me your cheaper whiskey! This s*** tastes all the same to me. You guys are okay!”

    The Only Foaming Is At Her Mouth

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a campus coffee house, which is primarily student-run. At least 80% of our customers are other students or teachers who all know us. Occasionally, we get new customers who don’t understand that we’re not a major chain.)

    Customer: “Can I have a latte with no foam?”

    Me: “Certainly.”

    (I ring the customer up, she gets her latte and leaves. Five minutes later, she comes storming back in, elbowing all the other customers out of her way and shoving the latte in my face.)

    Customer: “DOES THIS LOOK LIKE NO FOAM TO YOU?”

    (I look down, and all that’s on the top of the latte is two or three bubbles from the steamed milk. It’s definitely no foam.)

    Me: “Um… well, honestly ma’am, I don’t see any foam at all, but I’d be happy to remake it for you—”

    Customer: “WHAT IS SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT ‘NO FOAM?!’”

    (At this point, my manager comes over.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, there is a line, and my employee needs to get other people their orders. I’ll be happy to remake it, but this is our rush hour and it might take a few minutes.”

    Customer: “YOU REMAKE IT, RIGHT NOW!”

    (While my manager remakes the latte—he’s even moved it forward in the line—the customer grumbles and complains about me to everyone else who is waiting, three of whom happen to be my teachers. I hand one of my teachers their order, and she gives me a huge smile.)

    My Teacher: “Thank you SO much. I know it’s really hard to juggle work with school. And, look at that! My drink looks perfect. I’ll see you in class later. ”

    (My teacher even makes a point of taking a huge sip and exclaiming, “Delicious!” before giving the rude customer a cheeky grin and exiting the store.)

    Customer: “I… well, I…. IT’S NOT HARD TO…”

    Manager: “Ma’am, here’s your drink.”

    Customer: “THERE’S STILL FOAM—”

    Manager: “Ma’am, those are bubbles from pouring the milk into the espresso. That is not foam.”

    (At this point, the other customers start giggling. Without a word, the customer yanks the drink from him and leaves. At least she never came back!)

    Half-Baked Temper Tin-trums

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I am a customer getting my items, when, from behind me, a man around 20 to 30 years old goes up to one of the store’s employees.)

    Customer: “Where the h*** do you keep your F***ING baked beans?!”

    Employee: “Baked beans? Right this way, sir.”

    (I am in need of baked beans myself, so I decide to follow them.)

    Employee: “Here are our baked beans, sir.”

    Customer: “These are NOT baked beans!”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, but these are baked beans.”

    Customer: “No! These are TIN beans. I want baked beans!”

    Employee: “Sir, the baked beans are inside the tins.”

    Customer: “What? I don’t want them in a tin. I want them out of the tin!”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is how baked beans are stored.”

    Customer: “Baked beans don’t need to be stored!” *storms out of the store*

    Melteasers

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, how can I help?”

    Customer: “I want a bag of Malteasers.”

    Me: “Sure, just a moment…”

    (I reach under the counter and take a bag of Malteasers from the drawer.)

    Me: “That’s $5.50.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want those!”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “Those ones you keep below the counter are all crushed up together! ”

    (She bangs the bag up and down on the counter. If they weren’t before, they’re probably a bit crushed now.)

    Me: “They felt fine when I took them out, but I can get you another.”

    Customer: “I want those ones!”

    (The customer points to the wall behind me. We hang some expired stock there just to show what we have available.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, that’s just for display. It’s expired stock.”

    Customer: “I don’t care. I want one of those.”

    Me: “Uh, okay.”

    (I reach for a nearby bag on the wall.)

    Customer: “No, not that one! I want one of the ones up there. Right up the top!”

    Me: “Those are under the lights. They’ve probably melted.”

    Customer: “One of those!”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I scramble onto the counter behind me and take down one of the expired, partially melted bags at the top of the wall.)

    Me: “That’s $5.50.”

    Customer: “THANK YOU!”

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