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  • Bigotry Is Not On The Menu
    (1,918 thumbs up)
  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Over The Edge Of Reason

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I work at a chain coffee shop. The building is on the side of a hill; directly behind the shop is a sheer drop off. Every Sunday morning, a woman comes in with same conversation.)

    Woman: “Why don’t you have a drive through? The coffee shop in every other town has a drive through!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s no room around the back of the building for a drive through.”

    Woman: “This is ridiculous! If you weren’t the only place on the way to church to get coffee, I’d never stop here. The one day of the week I have to wear heels; I have to walk across the parking lot!”

    (One Sunday morning, there is a loud crash, and the building shakes. I run outside; the woman has rammed her car between the back of the building and the cliff side. The entire front of the car is hanging off of the edge. Her airbag has deployed and she seems dazed. She starts to open the door. I start yelling.)

    Me: “No! Climb out through the back!”

    (We eventually get her inside, and call the cops.)

    Woman: “I was trying to prove there’s enough room for them to have a drive through. I guess I was wrong!”

    (The company won for damages. A family whose home was hit by debris rolling down the hill sued her as well. Seemed like way more trouble in the end than just walking into a building for a latte!)

    The Dimmest Thing In The Store

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer is standing in front of the sake in a corner of our store. My coworker approaches her.)

    Coworker: “Can I help you with anything?”

    Customer: “Do you think this sake is, you know, safe to drink?”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, safe to drink? I assume it’s gone through the proper processing procedures.”

    Customer: “I mean… was this sake affected by the tsunami that hit Japan?”

    (My coworker realizes she’s alluding to the power plants that were hit by the tsunami, and the possibility that the sake is radioactive.)

    Coworker: *jokingly* “Well, if you take it home, and it starts to glow in the dark, I’d suggest you don’t drink it.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay!”

    (My coworker walks away. After a couple of minutes, my manager and I glance over to see the lady cupping the bottle in her hands. She is trying to make it dark enough to see if it will glow in the dark!)

    Strawberry Fields Forever

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am ordering ice-cream for my family and me.)

    Cashier: “What can I get for you?”

    Me: “I’ll have a scoop of strawberry, please.”

    Cashier: “Sorry, we only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan today.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! Chocolate, then.”

    Cashier: “Alright, anything else?”

    Dad: “I’ll have a strawberry shake.”

    Cashier: “Sorry, we only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan.”

    Dad: “Oh right, a chocolate shake then.”

    Sister: “I want a strawberry sundae!”

    Cashier: “We only have chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan.”

    Sister: “Okay, vanilla.”

    Me: “Does that happen a lot?”

    Cashier: “Often enough that I look forward to the days we actually have strawberry.”

    Borderline Stupidity

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Canada, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I am behind two boys in line. They pile a bunch of coolers on the counter, and try to pay with American money.)

    Cashier: “Could I see some ID, please?”

    (Boy #1 waves his hand like Obi-Wan.)

    Boy #1: “Oh, you don’t need to see our IDs.”

    Cashier: “Uh, actually, I do.”

    Boy #2: “It’s okay; we’re both 21!”

    Cashier: “Drinking age in Ontario is 19.”

    Boy #2: “Oh. Well, we’re both 19, then.”

    Cashier: “Do you even have identification?”

    Boy #1: “Fine! Here!”

    (He throws a card on the counter.)

    Cashier: “The government doesn’t consider this valid ID.”

    Boy #1: “OH COME ON!”

    Cashier: “…and this American state driver’s licence says you’re 16.”

    Boy #2: “F****** Canadians!”

    They Are Tea Total, Part 2

    | CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’d like an iced coffee with milk, with no coffee in it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Did you want a decaffeinated iced coffee?”

    Customer: “No, I just hate the taste of coffee. I want an iced coffee with milk, but hold the coffee.”

    Me: “So, would you like milk and ice?”

    Customer: “No, I want it without coffee. I have it all the time. It’s brown, and kind of sweet.”

    Me: “Tea?”

    Customer: “Yes! How did you not understand that?”

    Related:
    He Is Tea Total

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