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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Results Of The Risotto

    | Germany | Food & Drink, Top

    (Our snack bar serves a selection of lunch items plus a Daily Special.  On this particular day, the chef is having an off day so the risotto is really overcooked and flavorless. A regular customer, who is very nice and almost always eats the Special, arrives to place his order.)

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [snack bar]. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “The Special.”

    Me: “Um, are you sure? It’s a bit ‘different’ today. Would you like something else?”

    Customer: “No, I’ll have the Special.”

    Me: *leaning forward and whispering* “The chef’s not having a good day. The special is horrible.” back to a normal voice* “So, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: *laughing* “It’s okay, I’ll have the Special. It can’t be that bad.”

    Me: *laughing too* “On your head be it!”

    (Half an hour later, I am clearing tables. The customer is finishing his drink and reading a newspaper. I notice that his plate of risotto is sitting in front of him, barely touched.)

    Me: “You didn’t like the Special, then?”

    Customer: *looks sadly at his plate of food* “I really should listen when even the employees warn me…”

    (My manager ended up giving him vouchers for a couple of free meals. He had to be persuaded to take them, as he was quite willing to live with his choice seeing as how he had ignored my ‘warning’!)

    Freely Fraudulent

    | Vallejo, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    Customer: “Hey, could I get a sample of the Rocky Road ice cream?”

    Me: “Sure!”

    (I give the customer a small sampler spoon of Rocky Road.)

    Customer: “Yummy! Hey, could I get a bunch of these samplers, scooped in a cup?”

    Me: “Uh, sure?”

    (I grab the scoop and start to put Rocky Road in a cup.)

    Customer: “NO, NO, NO, NO! I wanted a bunch of free samples scooped in a cup!”

    Me: “…You want a free cup of ice cream?”

    Customer: “YES! HOW HARD WAS THAT TO UNDERSTAND?!”

    Me: “Sir, I cannot give you free ice cream.”

    Customer: “It’s not free ice cream. It’s a whole bunch of free samples!”

    Recaf My Decaf

    | Texas, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Me: “Thanks for calling [pizza delivery]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’d like to speak to your manager on duty.”

    Me: “That would be me. What can I do for you?”

    Caller: “I had placed an order with you earlier, and got [caffeinated soft drink] and [non-caffeinated soft drink]. I opened [non-caffeinated soft drink] and it tasted funny and raised my blood pressure. You must have tampered with it and added caffeine. I’d like a replacement.”

    Me: “I can assure you that your drink wasn’t tampered with. It’s in sealed bottle from the manufacturer. But, what would you like instead?”

    Caller: “I’d like another drink.”

    (I list the four drinks we carry, three of which have caffeine.)

    Caller: “I’d like a [another caffeinated soft drink].”

    Me: “So, you’re going to replace [non-caffeinated soft drink] that was supposedly tampered with and had caffeine added for a drink that is guaranteed to have caffeine?”

    Caller: “You got it!”

    Me: *sighs* “It’ll be the in about thirty minutes, sir. Have a nice day…”

    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 4

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m stacking shelves next to the chip display when this happens. Note: The display is very large thus hard to miss.)

    Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you could help me?”

    Me: “Of course. What can I do for you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I was wondering what aisle the chips are in?”

    (I’m a little stunned, as she is standing right next to them.)

    Me: “Um, just right there.” *points to chips*

    Customer: “No! I asked what AISLE they were in.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am you’re standing right—”

    Customer: “FOR F***’S SAKE! CAN YOU PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT AISLE THE CHIPS ARE IN?”

    Me: “A-Aisle 7.”

    Customer: “Thank you! Now was it really that hard?”

    (The customer arrives back at the display a few minutes later.)

    Customer: *grabs chips* “You could have f***ing told me I was standing right f***ing next to them! HONESTLY! What is this world coming to?!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 3
    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 2
    Aisle Always Need Directions

    Better Bean Nice In Bean Town

    | Boston, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am in line at a fast food burrito place in Boston. A rude customer is ordering his burrito and asks for medium salsa, but changes his mind and then blames his mistake on the employee making his order. Note: everyone working here happens to be of some sort of Hispanic background.)

    Rude Customer: “You f***ing idiot! I didn’t order that! I asked for mild! Can you understand any english?! Mild! M-I-L-D! ”

    Employee: “I am very sorry, sir. I will make your order again. Just one minute. ”

    Rude Customer: “Yeah! You are going to make it again! Do you think maybe this time you could get it right you d*** wetback!”

    (The rude customer continues to rant, spouting off various racial slurs. In the middle of his rant, the female customer directly behind him decides she has heard enough and lets him have an earful. Note that the female customer is half the rude customer’s size and about 15 years younger than him.)

    Young Female Customer: “Okay, I don’t really know what your problem is. First of all, just for the record, you were the one who made the mistake. I saw you and heard you. Second, he just said he would make you a new one. Its a burrito. Just chill out. I don’t know who raised you, but where I come from people tend to be brought up to show a little more respect. Instead of being mad right now, I would be embarrassed at my poor behavior if I were in your shoes. My younger brothers have better manners than you. Get a grip! You didn’t have to be so rude. He would have offered to remake it for you without the temper tantrum. Just get your food, and leave this guy alone.” *smiles at the employee behind the counter*

    Rude Customer: “Mind your own business!”

    (The rude customer gets in her face and calls her all sorts of names. When she ignores him, he gets angrier and looks like he might push her. Before he can, however, a cop directly in line behind me speaks up.)

    Cop: “Hey buddy! If I see you get any closer to her or raise your voice to her one more time, I’ll kick your punk a** right out of here, with or without your d*** burrito! Cool it! Now!”

    Rude Customer: “I’d like to see you try! You can’t do that!”

    (The cop takes a few steps forward, gets in the jerk’s face, and in a thick Boston accent says…)

    Cop: “You just f***in’ watch me.”

    (The jerk shuts up, pays for his stuff and practically runs out. The cop takes his place in line and bought that young female customer her burrito. This was like straight out of a movie or something!)

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