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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Recaf My Decaf

    | Texas, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Me: “Thanks for calling [pizza delivery]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’d like to speak to your manager on duty.”

    Me: “That would be me. What can I do for you?”

    Caller: “I had placed an order with you earlier, and got [caffeinated soft drink] and [non-caffeinated soft drink]. I opened [non-caffeinated soft drink] and it tasted funny and raised my blood pressure. You must have tampered with it and added caffeine. I’d like a replacement.”

    Me: “I can assure you that your drink wasn’t tampered with. It’s in sealed bottle from the manufacturer. But, what would you like instead?”

    Caller: “I’d like another drink.”

    (I list the four drinks we carry, three of which have caffeine.)

    Caller: “I’d like a [another caffeinated soft drink].”

    Me: “So, you’re going to replace [non-caffeinated soft drink] that was supposedly tampered with and had caffeine added for a drink that is guaranteed to have caffeine?”

    Caller: “You got it!”

    Me: *sighs* “It’ll be the in about thirty minutes, sir. Have a nice day…”

    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 4

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m stacking shelves next to the chip display when this happens. Note: The display is very large thus hard to miss.)

    Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you could help me?”

    Me: “Of course. What can I do for you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I was wondering what aisle the chips are in?”

    (I’m a little stunned, as she is standing right next to them.)

    Me: “Um, just right there.” *points to chips*

    Customer: “No! I asked what AISLE they were in.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am you’re standing right—”

    Customer: “FOR F***’S SAKE! CAN YOU PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT AISLE THE CHIPS ARE IN?”

    Me: “A-Aisle 7.”

    Customer: “Thank you! Now was it really that hard?”

    (The customer arrives back at the display a few minutes later.)

    Customer: *grabs chips* “You could have f***ing told me I was standing right f***ing next to them! HONESTLY! What is this world coming to?!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 3
    Aisle Always Need Directions, Part 2
    Aisle Always Need Directions

    Better Bean Nice In Bean Town

    | Boston, MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am in line at a fast food burrito place in Boston. A rude customer is ordering his burrito and asks for medium salsa, but changes his mind and then blames his mistake on the employee making his order. Note: everyone working here happens to be of some sort of Hispanic background.)

    Rude Customer: “You f***ing idiot! I didn’t order that! I asked for mild! Can you understand any english?! Mild! M-I-L-D! ”

    Employee: “I am very sorry, sir. I will make your order again. Just one minute. ”

    Rude Customer: “Yeah! You are going to make it again! Do you think maybe this time you could get it right you d*** wetback!”

    (The rude customer continues to rant, spouting off various racial slurs. In the middle of his rant, the female customer directly behind him decides she has heard enough and lets him have an earful. Note that the female customer is half the rude customer’s size and about 15 years younger than him.)

    Young Female Customer: “Okay, I don’t really know what your problem is. First of all, just for the record, you were the one who made the mistake. I saw you and heard you. Second, he just said he would make you a new one. Its a burrito. Just chill out. I don’t know who raised you, but where I come from people tend to be brought up to show a little more respect. Instead of being mad right now, I would be embarrassed at my poor behavior if I were in your shoes. My younger brothers have better manners than you. Get a grip! You didn’t have to be so rude. He would have offered to remake it for you without the temper tantrum. Just get your food, and leave this guy alone.” *smiles at the employee behind the counter*

    Rude Customer: “Mind your own business!”

    (The rude customer gets in her face and calls her all sorts of names. When she ignores him, he gets angrier and looks like he might push her. Before he can, however, a cop directly in line behind me speaks up.)

    Cop: “Hey buddy! If I see you get any closer to her or raise your voice to her one more time, I’ll kick your punk a** right out of here, with or without your d*** burrito! Cool it! Now!”

    Rude Customer: “I’d like to see you try! You can’t do that!”

    (The cop takes a few steps forward, gets in the jerk’s face, and in a thick Boston accent says…)

    Cop: “You just f***in’ watch me.”

    (The jerk shuts up, pays for his stuff and practically runs out. The cop takes his place in line and bought that young female customer her burrito. This was like straight out of a movie or something!)

    They’ll Always Be (Baby) Back For More

    | Glendale Heights, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer has just given me her order for a full-slab of ribs. She seems nice and even-tempered until this moment.)

    Customer: “That’s to go, and I want to talk to your manager!”

    (I call over the manager.)

    Manager: “Yes, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Last time I came here, I ordered your ribs and they were absolutely DISGUSTING! There was barely ANY sauce and they were cold and gross!”

    Manager: “Did you contact us? We could have given you customer credit.”

    Customer: “NO! Why would I EVER want to come back?!” *pays for her ribs and storms off*

    Whiskey Unwise And Brand Foolish

    | Porto, Portugal | Food & Drink

    Patron: “Good evening! I’ll have a whiskey cola.”

    (I serve him a generic whiskey with cola.)

    Me: “Here you go! That will be [amount].”

    Patron: “Hey, that wasn’t [whiskey label]! I want [whiskey label] with cola.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but since most of our customers don’t ask for any special brand labeled whiskey, we serve a generic brand to save on costs. If you want a special labeled whiskey, you just have to ask for it. The price is the same. I’ll get you your [whiskey label) for free, but please be sure to ask it by name the next time.”

    (15 minutes later, the same patron approaches the bar.)

    Patron: “F***! Serve me your cheaper whiskey! This s*** tastes all the same to me. You guys are okay!”

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