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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Having A Sub-epiphany

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I’m standing in line behind a very well-dressed, mid-fifties lady.)

    Lady: “What’s the difference between a 6-inch sub and a 12-inch sub?”

    Employee: *shows a 12-inch bread* “Well, this is a 12-inch sub…”

    (She then moves her hand to the middle of the bread.)

    Employee: “…and this is the size of a 6-inch sub.”

    (The lady acts like if she has just found out the meaning of life.)

    Lady: “Oh, so a 6-inch is around half the size of a 12-inch sub!”

    Faith Renewed In The Drive-Thru

    | Columbia, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (A customer comes in, and once she makes it clear that she doesn’t want to order anything, I’m expecting a complaint.)

    Customer: “I know this is going to sound strange, but just hear me out. I went through the drive-thru this morning and they put a burrito in my bag that I didn’t pay for. I would like to pay for that now.”

    Me: “You… came back here to pay for something that you got, but didn’t order?”

    Customer: “Yes!” *beams*

    Me: *flustered and a little confused, I ring up the burrito* “That will be $1.06.”

    (The customer hands me the money happily and goes on her way. For me, this was an incredible show of honesty. Lady, wherever you are, thank you for restoring my faith in humanity.)

    There’s Something In Those Poppy Seeds

    , | NYC, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (My boss is known for being very strict, and demanding ‘good customer relations.’ He reprimands us if we say things that he thinks are ‘unprofessional,’ which has forced us to be very formal with everyone who comes into the shop. Today, he’s running late.)

    Customer: “Can I get a toasted everything bagel, and-” *turns to daughter* “What do you want?”

    Customer’s daughter: *about eight years old* “Poppy seeds and cream cheese!”

    Customer: “…and a poppy seed bagel with cream cheese.”

    Co-worker: “Sure, here’s your poppy seed. Just give me a minute to toast the everything.”

    Customer’s daughter: *after a few seconds* “Mommy.”

    Customer: “We’re almost ready to go, dear, mommy just needs her bagel too.”

    Customer’s daughter: “Mommy…I dropped my bagel and the cream cheese is dirty.”

    Co-worker: “Don’t worry about it. Here’s a new one for free.”

    Customer’s daughter: *very excited* “BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL!”

    Customer: “Bagel bagel bagel bagel!”

    Me: *handing the customer her bagel* “Here’s your BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL!”

    Coworker: *joining in* “BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL!”

    (Suddenly, my boss walks in the door. My coworker, the customer, and I all shut up and look embarrassed. The daughter doesn’t stop.)

    Customer’s daughter: “BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL!”

    Boss: “When in Rome. BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL!”

    All three of us: “BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL!”

    (My boss is still serious, but whenever that customer comes in, he starts screaming ‘BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL’ over and over again!)

    The Cake Is Not A Lie

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m making a banana split, when a woman frantically rushes over to me, waving her hands up and down.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, is everything all right?”

    Customer: “Yes, yes, I just have a question.”

    Me: “Okay, what is your question?”

    Customer: “These cakes in this case over here, the mint one… does it have cake in it?”

    Me: “…Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Does this cake have cake in it?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, the cakes contain cake.”

    He’s Obviously Just Wingin’ It

    | Georgia, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (I serve a customer some food, specifically wings and fries. He approaches me with his meal; two of the wings are badly hidden in the fries.)

    Customer: “Hey man, you didn’t give me two wings. Cook them again!”

    Me:” I’m sure that I gave you the order just like you asked.”

    Customer: “Yo man, I told you! I have two f***ing wings missin’! How the f*** do you know that I be gettin’ all my wings?!”

    Me: “I also cook the food, sir.”

    Customer: “THAT DON’T MEAN NUTTIN!”

    Me: “I count before, during, and after food preparation. I guarantee you, you got what you ordered.”

    Customer: “NO I DIDN’T!”

    Me: “Okay, then please explain why there are chicken bones in the fries, and why you have hot sauce on your lips.”

    Customer: *flips me the bird and storms out of the store*

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