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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Customers Set A Really Low (Yogurt) Bar

    | Ontario, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I’m taking my kids to a frozen yogurt bar for the first time. Since the teller is helping another customer, I take a quick look at the signs for instructions, which are very clear and obvious. As we’re picking what we want, the teller comes over to see how we’re doing.)

    Teller: “Hi! How are you doing? Do you need any help?”

    Me: “No, thanks, I think we’ve got it figured out.”

    Teller: “Oh, you’ve been in before?”

    Me: “Nope, this is our first time, but the directions are really straight-forward…” *laughing* “…and I read the directions. I know that doesn’t always happen.”

    Teller: “No, that’s pretty unusual, actually. Really, really unusual.”

    Me: “Yeah, I used to work with the public. Members of the general public are idiots.”

    It Was A Shot Glass Wedding

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

    (I’m helping a very elderly, very nice, lady get around the store. We’re in the liquor section when she asks me to read some of the labels.)

    Me: ”Well, we’ve got Jack Daniels, Cutty Sark, Bombay Sapphire, Jim Beam—”

    Lady: “No, I don’t want Jim Beam. Last time I drank, Jim Beam, I had to get married! I didn’t care for that one bit!”

    We All Have A Dream

    | Tulsa, OK, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work by myself on the overnight shift at my store. Around 1 am a little old African American lady and her granddaughter enter my store. While the grandmother goes to the bathroom, the granddaughter approaches me.)

    Granddaughter: *to me* “Are you going to be making any more fresh tea tonight?”

    Me: “Sorry, but we clean them overnight since we don’t have a high demand. We start them new around 3 am.”

    Granddaughter: “YOU’RE LAZY AND INCOMPETENT!”

    (As she continues to yell at me, she is unaware her grandmother has come out of the bathroom and is now behind her. Suddenly, the grandmother smacks her granddaughter on the back of the head and lays into her.)

    Grandmother: “Your grandfather and I did not march on Washington with the great Martin Luther King for you to treat hardworking people like that! You haven’t worked a day in your life because we worked hard and invested right so you would have better privileges than we did. If you want to act like a ghetto b****, then I can take away that nice apartment you live in and let you survive where I grew up. Now you apologize to this young lady!”

    Granddaughter: *in tears* “I’m sorry… I had no reason to behave like that. Please forgive my outburst.”

    (I did, and grandma got a free drink!)

    Not Specifying Spices Can Spark Speculation

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I work a popular sub sandwich chain. I’m finishing up a customer’s sandwich with vegetables and condiments.)

    Me: “Would you like anything else?”

    Customer: “Yeah, some peppers.”

    (Note: the customer is very clearly pronouncing the “s” in “peppers.” We have bell peppers, pepperoncinis, and jalapeños.)

    Me: “Which kind?”

    Customer: “Peppers.”

    Me: “Which kind of peppers?”

    Customer: “PEP-PERS. PEPPERS!”

    Me: “Yes, but which kind?”

    Customer: “Freaking black peppers! Right there in the shaker! The only peppers you have!”

    Me: “Oh, pepper! I’m sorry, I thought you were talking about the veggies.”

    Customer: “Why would peppers be a vegetable?! It’s just little black flakes!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: *to her companion* “Dumb b****!”

    A-tip-ical Aging

    | Mountain View, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m a woman and manager at a sausage/beer stand. I card everyone that orders beer, regardless of how old they look. Some customers get insulted, while others don’t mind. Note: I look at least 10 years younger than my actual age.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like two beers, polish, and a coke.”

    Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

    Customer: “I’m waaay older than you. How old do I look?”

    (He looks in his mid-30s, so I guess much earlier in age.)

    Me: “Uh, 24?”

    Customer: “Haha! NO!”

    (He shows me his ID, and his birth date makes him over 35.)

    Me: “Wow, you don’t look it.”

    Customer: “How old are you?”

    Me: “I’m 47.”

    Customer: *skeptically* “Sure… you can’t be any older than 30. Okay, show me YOUR ID.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I pull out my ID. Much to his surprise, he sees I’m older than he is.)

    Customer: “HOLY S***! WOW! You look great! Good genes, huh?”

    Me: *smiling* “Yeah, something like that…”

    (He pays for his order, but also puts an additional $10 bill on the counter.)

    Customer: “This tip is for putting up with me!”

    (Made my night!)

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