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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Like Selling Candy To A Banshee

    | Nevada, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (This is a call from me to a customer who owns a candy store, regarding an order they placed for a candy-making mix. We had the wrong expiration date for their credit card. Please note that this order is marked as being needed in a rush.)

    Woman: “Hello, [candy store].”

    Me: “Hello, this is [name] from [candy supply company].”

    Woman: “We’re not interested!” *hangs up*

    (I call back.)

    Woman: “Hello, [candy store].”

    Me: “Hi, this is [name] again. I think there was a misunderstanding. We’re calling about an order you already placed.”

    Woman: *scoffs* “Really…”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. [Candy store owner] called and put in an order this morning for candy mix, but we must not have heard the expiration date correctly.”

    Woman: “So, you call saying we ordered something, and you want me to just give you a credit card number?”

    Me: “No, we have the number. We just need to check the expiration date. Is [candy store owner] there?”

    Woman: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, could I leave a message for him that we won’t be able to send out your candy mix without getting the correct expiration date?”

    Woman: “We’re a homemade candy company. What makes you assume we use a mix for our candy?”

    Me: “Because we sell it to you.”

    Woman: “We make our candy homemade. We’re not interested in buying yours. How dare you suggest we make it from a mix?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, a lot of places label their candy homemade, even when they make it from a mix. I can cancel the order if you’d like, but I’d prefer to speak to [candy store owner] before I do.”

    Woman: “He’s not here, and I’m sure as h*** not giving you any credit card information. It’s a f***ing scam!”

    (The woman hangs up again. About a week later, I get a call from the man who owns the store.)

    Owner: “Hi, this is [owner] from [candy store]. I was calling to see where my order was.”

    Me: “We tried to get in touch with you about having the wrong expiration date on the credit card the same day you placed the order. The woman I spoke to told me you would me making the candy from scratch and were no longer interested in the order, so I canceled it.”

    Owner: “****! I’m gonna kill her!”

    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 4

    | Virginia, USA | Food & Drink

    (A drink order is passed down the line to me. After reading it several times, I have to clarify it with the customer.)

    Me: “Sir? This says you want a large mocha with whip, but no espresso. Um, did you maybe want decaf instead? Or… uh…” *puzzled silence*

    Customer: “I get it all the time at [chain coffee shop]! God, is it really SO HARD to get my drink right?”

    Me: “Well… I’m just confused… because you apparently paid $1.00 extra for a… a hot chocolate.”

    Customer: “Jeez, call it whatever you want, just make the thing! Mochadopacoppio, whatever! You just go right ahead and fix me one of your fancy HAAAWT CHAAAWC-LATES!”

    Related:
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 3
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themself, Part 2
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

    Ooh, I’m Quaking In My Oats

    | USA | Food & Drink

    (This happened to a coworker of mine, who is a bus driver. It is against policy to let food on the bus, and there is a sign that clearly states this.)

    Passenger: *tries to get on the bus with a giant bowl of oatmeal*

    Coworker: “Sir, I’m sorry, but you can’t take that oatmeal on the bus.”

    Passenger: “What?! Why?”

    Coworker: “There’s no food allowed on the bus.”

    Passenger: “I won’t spill!”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, but there’s still no food on the bus.”

    Passenger: “Well…YOU’RE UGLY!”

    It Always Hurts To Ask

    , | California, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello! What can I get for you this evening?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get a Caramel Mocha?”

    Me: “Sure, did you want the Caramel Mocha or did you want the blended Caramel Frappe?”

    Customer: *impatiently* “I WANT the Caramel MOCHA!”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that hot or cold?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “I want that cold! DUH!”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that medium or large?”

    Customer: “I want it F***ING LARGE! WHY YOU GOTTA ASK ME SO D*** MANY QUESTIONS?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I just want to make sure I have your order correct. Here’s your total. Please have your money ready at the first window…”

    (The customer gets to the window, practically throws her money at me, and speeds off to the next window to get her drink.)

    Customer: *at the next window* “I DIDN’T WANT THIS NASTY PIECE OF S***! I WANTED THE BLENDED ONE!”

    The Customer Is Sometimes Alright

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (I am at a sit-down restaurant at a theme park. A waitress comes up to me while I’m eating.)

    Waitress: “Are you finding everything alright, sir?”

    Me: “Yes, the food’s very good! Thank you for asking.”

    (As she is walking away, I realize I have only $20 in my wallet and no credit cards. I’m fairly young, so I don’t have a credit card and always pay in cash. Because the meal including tax is $19.05, I find out I only have 95 cents for a tip.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am…I have a question.”

    Waitress: “Yes?”

    Me: “Am I supposed to tip you? Because, I don’t think I have enough money left. You see, I only have $20, and the meal I paid for left me with only 95 cents.”

    Waitress: *smiles warmly* “Oh, don’t worry about it. The tip is already included with the bill!”

    Me: “Really? I don’t have to give you any physical tips or anything like that? Because I really thought I had to give you one.”

    Waitress: “Don’t worry about it! Like I said, tips are already included with the bill. If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me! Please do enjoy your meal!”

    (She walks away with a smile on her face. A couple sitting in the table right next to me paid attention to the whole conversation.)

    Husband: “Hey, uh…excuse me, sir?”

    (I turn in their direction. He is leaning towards me with a few $1 bills in his hand.)

    Husband: “Here, take this. My wife and I overheard your conversation with your waitress. She was really nice and friendly, and we felt a little sorry when we also heard that you wanted to tip her but didn’t have the money. Please, do take this.”

    (I stretch out my arm and take their money. Using my thumb, I leaf through it and find out they are giving me $10 to tip my waitress. I am dumbfounded.)

    Me: “Why, that’s really kind of you sir, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t!”

    (The husband shakes his head in a friendly sort of way, and pushes the money towards me.)

    Husband: “No, really, I do insist that you tip your waitress.”

    Me: “Thank you…thank you so much! How can I ever repay you?”

    Husband: “You don’t need to pay me back. Honest. You both really needed it.”

    (I finish my meal, and my waitress comes over to my table to get the bill.)

    Me: “Here, take this tip. I really do want you to take it! It came through the kindness of others.”

    (She turns to all three of us; apparently, she overheard our conversation.)

    Waitress: “Thank you! I’ll go get your bill and hope all of you have a wonderful night!”

    (She goes to get the bill and I pay for the meal, getting my last 95 cents as calculated.)

    Me: *to husband* “Please, I know it’s not much, but take this 95 cents.”

    Husband: *waves me off* “No, no, I can’t. Keep the change. You’ll never know when you’ll need those coins.”

    (I try again to give my change to him, but get the same reaction.)

    Me: “Well, I know this isn’t much as well, but please have my thanks, and have a great night!”

    (I wave to them as I leave the restaurant and they wave back. I still have that receipt to this day to remind me of the kindness a couple brought to me in a tight spot.)


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