Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Don’t Drink And Dial And Deliver

| BC, Canada | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Money

(In this story, I’m the unreasonable customer. I had just come back from a bar with my friends, and we are all drunk & craving Chinese food. It’s rather late, but we REALLY wanted some Chinese food, so I call up a nearby restaurant.)

Owner: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi! I’d like to place an order for delivery, please.”

Owner: “I’m sorry, but we’re closed. I’m afraid we’re unable to fulfill orders anymore.”

Me: “Aw, man, really? When did you close?”

Owner: “We actually closed just a few minutes ago.”

Me: “It’s only been a few minutes, right? You couldn’t possibly have started cleaning up already, right? Can’t you do one more order?”

Owner: “I’m sorry sir, but even though the kitchen is still technically open, I still need to send my delivery boy home, as his shift is already over.”

Me: “Is he still there? If he is, tell him that I’ll pay him $50 extra.”

Owner: “One moment, please.”

(The owner puts down his phone and I hear some talking in the background.)

Owner: “All right, he says he’ll do it. May I take your order, sir?”

(I place my order and wait patiently for my food. 20 minutes later, a car pulls up to my driveway. The delivery boy gets out of his car, and walks up to my door with my order.)

Me: “Hi! I’m really sorry for doing this to you, but we’re all drunk as s*** here and the alcohol’s making us want Chinese food.”

Delivery Boy: “It’s okay. You got that $50?”

Me: “H*** yeah, I do!”

Delivery Boy: “Then all is forgiven.”

(I gave him a $50 bill, and I paid for the food on debit. I would later learn that this was very poor judgment on my part, because in my drunken stupor, I ended up choosing the tip option on the debit machine. So not only did I give this poor guy $50, I also gave him a 30% tip on a $90 order. I may have been a dick, but I certainly hope the delivery boy had a good night! Always drink responsibly. Seriously, it may cost you.)

Making I Scream

| Maui, HI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work at a large national ice cream chain. Because corporate tries to be ‘fun,’ our service door says ‘Ice Cream Makers Only’ instead of Employees or Staff Only. One day, I see a man in an apron opening the door.)

Me: “Oh, please don’t go in there. It’s only for—”

Man: “Yup, I know, and I work at [Local Ice Cream Shop across the street].”

Me: “Fine, sir. You still can’t go in there.”

Man: “Chill, dude, we make our own ice cream. It’s not imported. I make the ice cream.”

Me: “Stop, please!”

(By now he has figured it out and is turning the handle.)

Me: *quickly locks the door*

Man: “LET ME IN! I deserve to be here!”

Me: “Please leave right now!”

Man: *banging on door* “NO! I AM ONE OF YOU!”

Will Always Find A Way To Get Hot And Bothered

, | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work as a manager at a fast food restaurant and sometimes I deal with incredibly strange ‘complaints.’)

Me: “[Restaurant], [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I just got home from coming through your drive-thru and my chicken is too hot.”

Me: “…Too hot as in ‘spicy’ hot, or ‘heat’ hot?”

Caller: “Heat.”

Me: “Uh. Okay, it’s supposed to be hot.”

Caller: “That’s why I’m calling. The chicken’s too hot.”

Me: “I’m not sure I follow. What is it exactly that you want me to do for you?”

Caller: “Well, the chicken’s too hot.”

Me: “Okay, is it too hot because it’s been sitting in the warmers for too long or because it’s fresh?”

Caller: “No, it’s fresh. It was actually quite nice. Very juicy, too.”

Me: “Yeah…?”

Caller: “So, what are you going to do about it?”

Me: “What do you WANT me to do about it?”

Caller: “Okay, you know what? You’re so unhelpful. Give me the number to your head office; I’m filing an official complaint.”

Me: “Uh, okay, ma’am. The number is [head office number].”

Caller: “You’ll be hearing from me again soon!” *click*

Not So Nuts About The Innuendo

| Medford, MA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(At our store, we have a rack of potato chips, peanuts, and other snacks that is a few steps away from the register. The customer puts a six-pack of beer on the counter, then steps away to grab something off the rack and comes back to the counter with some peanuts.)

Customer: “You really should put your nuts on the counter.”

Me: “I’m not sure how to respond to that.” *hoping he’d get how awkward it sounded, and laugh it off*

Customer: “I might grab them more often, if you did.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Yeah, they’re probably just fine right where they are.”

(I’m pretty sure this guy was just clueless about what he said and not actually hitting on me!)

Entreating You For The Treats

| MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I lock up and clean the vet clinic where I work. It’s a Saturday evening after a long, busy day. I’m in the middle of mopping the main lobby when I hear a knock at the glass door.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re closed until Monday morning.”

Man: “Miss, please, you have to let me in!”

Me: “I can’t let you in. There is an emergency vet clinic down the road if your pet needs a veterinarian.”

Man: “No, please, it’s an emergency!”

Me: “I can’t let you in! I could be fired!”

Man: *starts shaking the door*

Me: “SIR! Please stop doing that! I told you I can’t let you in! If you continue to shake the door, I’m going to call the police!”

Man: *on the verge of tears* “Please… please, let me in….”

Me: “Do you need to pick up medicine or something? I can’t let you in, but maybe I can call my boss to help you.”

Man: “No, I need [Brand of dog treats].”

Me: “There’s a pet store down the street that sells them as well.”

Man: “REALLY?”

Me: “Yes…”

Man: “THANKS! I OWE YOU!”

(I never saw him again. Dude, I hope you got your treats.)

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