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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Triply Unappetizing

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at as a hostess in a popular chain restaurant. We have an appetizer that lets you pick and choose three appetizers. The customer would get a smaller sample size of each. In this situation I’m taking a to-go order, in person.)

    Customer: “I’d like to get your triple appetizer. I want to get the buffalo wings, but honey flavor.”

    Me: “Sure thing! What other two appetizers would you like?”

    Customer: *stares* “I want the honey wings.”

    Me: “Okay. Just to be clear, you’re saying you would like the triple with your three choices as the honey wings, right?”

    Customer: *annoyed* “I don’t think you’re listening to me at all, so I’m going to repeat myself. I want a triple with honey wings.”

    Me: “Yes, I understand that. But in a triple you can choose any three of these appetizers.” *points to list*

    Customer: *angry now, condescendingly* “You obviously aren’t listening to me, still. I’m going to repeat myself one last time, slowly so you can understand me, okay? I want you to listen to what I’m saying to you. I WANT A TRIPLE, WITH HONEY WINGS.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I know that you want the honey wings in a triple, but I need to know which other two choices you want. If you don’t want any other choice, you can get an order of the wings by themselves.”

    (The man glares at me, and is visibly more angry. The man’s son, who I didn’t even see behind him, stands next to his father and speaks up.)

    Customer’s Son: “Dad, I think she’s trying to say that you get to pick three of these things when you get a triple.”

    Customer: *grumbles* “I’ll just get it how it’s pictured, but with honey wings. That’s all for me.”

    Me: “All right, your total is [Total] and it should be ready in about fifteen minutes.”

    (About fifteen minutes later, I give the man his food. He takes the box out of the bag to inspect it.)

    Customer: “Why are the food portions so much smaller than a regular appetizer? And why aren’t these egg rolls cut like in the picture? And what sauce is this?!”

    Me: “The portions are smaller because its a sampler. It might not look like much, but it really is a good amount of food! The egg rolls aren’t cut because they stay warmer when you don’t cut them. That sauce is extra honey sauce for your wings.”

    (The customer looked at his son, shook his head, sighed audibly, and left.)

    Sharing Is Berry Important

    | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (A young girl and her granddad approach my till and he indicates the open bag of cranberries in her hand.)

    Man: “I’d like to pay for those, please.”

    Me: “Of course, sir. That’ll be 99p, please.”

    Girl: “Would you like one, Granddad?”

    Man: “No, thank you, darling.”

    (The little girl then reaches over the counter to offer the bag to me.)

    Girl: “Would you like one?”

    Me: *surprised* “Oh, no, thank you! But it’s very nice of you to offer.”

    Girl: *sternly* “You should ALWAYS share!”

    Two Can Whine For Ten Dollars

    , | Peterborough, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m taking orders for front counter. A customer walks up and hands me one of our “2 can dine for $9.99″ coupons.)

    Customer: “I’ll have this, please.”

    Me: “No problem. Would you like to add anything else?”

    Customer: “No, thank you. Just the two meals.”

    Me: “All right, your total is $11.70.”

    Customer: “How much is it after the coupon?”

    Me: “That is the price with the coupon. You wanted to use the two can dine, right?”

    Customer: “Yes, but why is it that price? The coupon says $10 on it.”

    Me: “Oh, the $10 is the price before tax, so that makes the difference.”

    Customer: “No, you’re supposed to take $10 off, that’s what the coupon means.”

    Me: “Sorry, it doesn’t actually work like that. It means that you pay $10 for the two meals. They would normally be over $15 for both without the coupon.”

    Customer: “But it says $10 here. So I only owe you the tax.”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry but the coupon isn’t for $10 off. You are still saving a good amount off the regular combo prices.”

    Customer: “Fine. I don’t want it then. The idiots at [our other location] wouldn’t do it right either.”

    (He stormed off muttering about how we were too dumb to honour our own coupon.)

    Human Kindness Is A Simple Formula

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

    (A couple with a small child comes up to my register with a WIC transaction, which goes through without a problem until…)

    Me: “I am sorry but your formula didn’t go through.”

    (The couple is buying nine containers of formula at around $18 each.)

    Mother: What? Let me see.

    (I show them the slip and the starting balance, which shows no formula was offered through the program.)

    Father: “Great… and it’s Sunday so we can’t call them. Well, take off all but one and we’ll talk to them tomorrow.”

    (I nod and take allow them to purchase just the one can of formula with the rest of their items.)

    Me: “I’m sorry about that but h—”

    (At this moment the next customers in line, both 20ish year old females cut in.)

    Female #1: *handing me $20* “I’ll buy one of them.”

    Mother: *shocked* “Y… you don’t have—”

    Female #2: *doing the same* “We had parents that were just like you; please allow us to help.”

    Mother: *nearly to tears* “N… no, please don’t.”

    (Eventually, the pair got the mother to the accept the gifts, and when the pair was done with their regular purchases, I still couldn’t believe what happened and that there were still people who believed in the simple formula of human kindness!)

    Driving Through Adequate Fraud Prevention

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

    (A customer walks up to the till. I’m watching the conversation from the kitchen nearby.)

    Customer: *to the cashier* “Could I speak to your manager, please?”

    Manager: *hearing her* “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I just came through the drive-thru a few minutes ago, and you forgot my two angus burgers.”

    Manager: “I very much doubt that.”

    (The manager points out the window, where the entire drive-thru and much of the parking lot have been torn up and blocked off for reconstruction. The sound of power tools can be heard even inside the restaurant.)

    Customer: “Um…” *stammers a bit before scurrying out of the store*

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