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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    To Put It Plainly

    , | IN, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

    (I am ordering a cheeseburger combo meal at a fast food place.)

    Cashier: “And what do you want on it?”

    Me: “Uh, everything except the tomatoes, onion… Wait, let me rephrase that. Just the cheese and meat.”

    Cashier: “So… plain?”

    Me: *embarrassed* “Yeah, I guess that would’ve been easier to say!”

    (Thanks for putting up with me, fast food worker!)

    Screaming Until They’re Blue In The Face

    , | AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (It’s about 6:45 on a slow-ish night working in fast food. We’re selling a popular promotional burger which includes blue cheese. Suddenly, I see a red faced customer storming towards the door, obviously furious. As store policy, I find the nearest supervisor to deal with an obviously irate customer. I hide in the mug room to watch.)

    Supervisor: “Hi. Welcome to…”

    Customer: “ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”

    Supervisor: “No ma’am. What seems to be—”

    Customer: *pulls half eaten blue cheese burger out of bag* “HOW DARE YOU FEED YOUR CUSTOMERS THIS! THIS BLUE CHEESE IS EXPIRED AND MOLDY!”

    (At this point I can hear laughter from the kitchen, who can hear every word.)

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, this is a blue cheese burger. Perhaps you were given it by mist—”

    Customer: “I KNOW WHAT A D*** BLUE CHEESE BURGER IS!”

    Supervisor: “Then you understand that it is an aged cheese, where this ‘mold’ is normal. I will happily return your money to you if you wish, however.”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU LIE TO ME! I’VE EATEN BLUE CHEESE ALL MY LIFE AND I HAVE NEVER ENCOUNTERED MOLD!”

    (My supervisor, obviously getting annoyed, gives the customer her refund.)

    Supervisor: “Here is your refund. However, if you can find me blue cheese in the local supermarket that doesn’t have or taste ‘moldy,’ I will gladly give you every cent I have in this cash register.”

    (I see the customer’s eyes gleam right before she storms out. She never does come back. )

    Supervisor: *to me* “Go write ‘customer found mold in their blue cheese’ in the complaint book.”

    Good Customer Service Is Saving The Girl

    , | ON, Canada | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working the cash register at a fast food restaurant when a girl no older than 15 comes up to order.)

    Girl #1: “I’ll have a number three with a [Soda], please.”

    Me: “Sure. Will that be everything?”

    Girl #1: “Umm… no, actually. I think I was followed here. If you see some girls come in and bother me, can you ask them to leave?”

    Me: “I’ll see what I can do.”

    (The girl takes her food over to the only table where she can be easily seen by all of the front counter staff, and she takes out some homework. Less than five minutes later, three girls come in, go straight to Girl #1′s table, and start talking to her. In the 30 seconds it takes to ask my manager for permission to kick the group out, Girl #1 has started crying.)

    Me: *to the group* “You guys are harassing this girl. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Girl #2: “It’s okay. We know her.”

    Me: “No, it’s not okay. You can’t be harassing paying customers.”

    Girl #2: “We can buy something. We’ll be paying customers, too.”

    Me: “Too late. I won’t just stand back and watch while you harass this girl. If you don’t leave right now, security will be called and you’ll be banned from the property.”

    (As our restaurant was located in a mall parking lot, being banned from the property also meant being banned from the mall, so they left pretty quickly with no more argument. Since Girl #1 was still extremely upset, my manager let me give her a free milkshake and sit with her for a bit until she calmed down.)

    Me: “So, what was that all about? Do you know those girls?”

    Girl #1: “They go to school with me. I live in a group home. Ever since they found out, they’ve been following me around and making fun of me for it. I’ve been looking for a quiet place to do my homework for weeks. I can’t do it at the home; it’s too noisy, and I get no privacy there. And I’ve been to a few different coffee shops, and restaurants, and even the library, but they follow me everywhere, and no one has ever kicked them out, because they’re never loud or disruptive. This is the first place to help me.”

    (I let Girl #1 get back to her homework. After that, she came in a few times a week to do homework. I let the managers and other staff know of her situation, so there was always someone there for Girl #1 to talk to or someone to threaten the bullies with banishment from the mall if they ever came back, which they didn’t.)

    Making The Feathers Fly

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I am a chef. The server is fairly new. This is one of her first solo shifts. This couple comes in at the very end of lunch. They are the only customers in the building.)

    Male Customer: “Are the chickens fresh?”

    Server: “Yup. We pull the feathers in the back.”

    Male Customer: “Okay. I’ll take the chicken sandwich and some feathers.”

    Female Customer: “I’ll have the cheeseburger.”

    (The server enters their order in the computer. She then grabs their drinks and drops them off at the table.)

    Male Customer: “Where are the feathers?”

    Server: “I just rang them in.” *laughs*

    (I cook the food and call out for the server. She picks up the order and brings it out to the table.)

    Male Customer: “Where are my f****** feathers? If you don’t bring me my f****** feathers I am going to punch you in the face.”

    Server: “I’ll be right back.”

    (She goes and gets the manager who goes up to the table.)

    Manager: “Is there a problem?”

    Male Customer: “I want my feathers. She said you had chicken feathers. She said you had them. If she doesn’t bring them out I am going to punch her.”

    Manager: “You need to leave. Now.”

    (As strange as this whole situation was, looking back on it now the thing I found the weirdest wasn’t the chicken feather guy. It was his girlfriend that didn’t say a thing through the entire ‘WTF’ conversation the guy had with the server and the manager.)

    A Major Minor Mishap

    , | Wales, UK | Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I am 15 years old, and I work in my cousin’s burger van or cafe during the school breaks. Often I will be in the kiosk late at night when all the clubs close while my cousin is still working. One night a group of guys in their 30s comes up, slightly drunk, and ordered a bunch of food.)

    Customer #1: “You having fun tonight?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

    Customer #2: “Oh, god, leave her alone, dude!”

    Me: *laughs nervously*

    Customer #1: “Oh, come on… Hey, you see that sausage on the hotplate?”

    Me: “Uh, yeah?”

    Customer #1: “I could give you double the sausage on that hotplate if you come back with me.”

    Me: “Oh, is that so?”

    Customer #1: “Oh yeah, totally.”

    (I laugh and let him carry on, his friends just laughing at him.)

    Me: “So, I’m curious. Do you always talk to minors like that?”

    Customer #1: “What?!”

    Me: “Well, I’m 15.”

    (Customer #1 runs off in a hurry without his order, red faced.)

    Customer #2: “Well, he won’t live that down any time soon!”


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