Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

Can’t Barrel Out Of There

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

(I work as a manager and beer department head at a local liquor store that sells kegs of beer.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I need to order a keg of Corona.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but Corona, unfortunately, doesn’t make kegs.”

Customer: “What’re you talking about? I ordered one last week!”

Me: *trying not to get agitated* “Sir, I’m sorry, but like I said, Corona doesn’t make kegs. It’s impossible for me to get you a keg of Corona.”

Customer: “This is bull-s***! The beer guy here got one for me last week!”

Me: “Actually, I run the beer department at this store, and I have for the last few months. I can give you a list of all the kegs we can get you.”

Customer: “QUIT BACK-TALKING ME! I want to see your manager, and I want to see him now!”

Me: “Okay, not a problem.”

(I turn around on the spot, making a 360 turn.)

Me: “Hello, I’m the manager. What can I help you with?”

Customer: *glares at me before walking out in a rage*

Those Kids And Their Googles

| NC, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Technology

(The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello, circulation desk; how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me what temperature I need to cook this turkey at?”

Me: “Ma’am, you realize this is a library, correct?”

Caller: “Yes, but can’t you use that Google thing the kids are talking about?”

Not Quite Feeling It

| Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “Large latte to go.”

(Well, I was feeling large latte to go that day, too.)

A Nice Hot Cup Of Willpower

| Denver, CO, USA | Food & Drink

(I am the customer/patient in this situation. My husband and I are at a nutritional seminar.)

Doctor: “Every day you get this much will power.” *holds his fingers less than an inch apart* “When that will power is gone, where do you think you get more will power?”

Me: “Coffee!”

Her Request Is A Bit Of A Squeeze

| USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I worked for a grocery store in a town with two major universities. The encounters with the student customers are always entertaining.)

Customer: “I’m looking for fresh squeezed orange juice.”

Me: “Yes, of course. We have a few options between the [Popular Brand] brand and our store brand…”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I need orange juice that was freshly squeezed today.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t carry anything like that here. We are just a grocery store.”

Customer: “Well, do you think you could go in the back and squeeze some for me?”

Me: “I apologize, but that just isn’t how it works. The best I can do is recommend the [Popular Brand]. It really is the best, freshest orange juice we carry.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not a Nazi or anything, but I refuse to drink anything that has been pasteurized.”

(I notice at this point that she has a gallon of milk in her basket…)

Me: “I’m sorry I can’t help you with this, but I can at least let you know that we do carry fresh oranges in our produce department.”

Customer: “Wait, you mean you expect me to squeeze my OWN orange juice?!”

Page 11/300First...910111213...Last