Category: Food & Drink

Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

A First Time Scoop

| Columbia, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I manage a very well-known ice cream establishment, and have for many years. We have regular customers who get the same thing every day, but the customer in question here always changes her mind about what she wants. She still expects us to have it ready when she walks in the door, though.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer], what can we get for you today?”

Customer: “Oh, you know what I want!”

Me: “Let’s have you tell us, anyway, just so we know we got it right.”

Customer: *angrily* “The triple layer sundae, Snickers.”

Me: “All right, then.”

(I begin assembling her sundae. What she does, though, is change her order in the middle of its creation, so I do it slowly.)

Customer: “I want butter pecan ice cream, not Snickers.”

Me: “Okay, sure.” *scoop ice cream, begin putting on fudge and caramel*

Customer: “More fudge and caramel.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(At this point, the cup we use for this particular sundae is exploding, because it is only designed to fit exactly what is supposed to go in it. I put on the final scoop, and balance it like a pro, then proceed to grab the lid for it. But, before I even get the lid on it, she starts again.)

Customer: “Um, NO! I want an extra scoop. I ALWAYS GET AN EXTRA SCOOP!”

Me: “Okay, well, I’ll have to put it in a bigger cup.”

Customer: “FINE!”

(I dump the sundae into a bigger cup. There is still a very professional customer service smile planted on my face, even though I’m burning up on the inside.)

Customer: “WHAT is your problem?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You have such an attitude. Why couldn’t you just make it like I always get it in the first place?”

Me: “All right, ma’am. I am sorry if it came across as my having an attitude. That was not my intention. HOWEVER, you always have a new request when you come in, such as this new scoop, which you have never asked me, personally, for. I am simply trying to make you exactly what you want; that is all.”

(I’m still working on her sundae. Can’t stop, that stuff melts! Caramel, ice cream, Snickers, ice cream, hot fudge, ice cream, and then of course, her extra scoop. I begin, then, to put on her last spoonful of Snickers, and the lid.)

Customer: “CARAMEL! THEY ALWAYS PUT MORE CARAMEL!”

(Without speaking, I add the caramel, then the lid, bag it up, and ring up her order. I ring it up as a triple scoop sundae with three extra toppings, because that’s what she got.)

Customer: “That is WAY too much money. It never costs that much!”

Me: *prints out receipt* “This is what you got, and this is what it costs.”

Customer: “I’m not paying that for some lousy ice cream, especially after you had such an attitude! Who is your manager?”

Me: *smiles* “Actually, I’m the manager.”

Customer: “No, who is YOUR manager?”

Me: “I don’t have one. The only person above me is the owner of the store, and quite frankly, he would’ve asked you to leave already.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Do you still want the ice cream?”

Customer: *throws money at me, takes change, grabs bag, stomps out*

Way Off The Menu

, | UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work at a well-known sandwich shop chain and we have a limited menu. It’s a little slow and I’m with my coworker and shift manager. A homeless man walks into our shop.)

Everyone: “Hi! Welcome to [Shop]!”

Coworker: “What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “You guys got any pastrami?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, unfortunately we only have [lists the meats on our menu].”

Customer: “What about steak?”

Coworker: “We do not sir, I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Well, what do you have here?”

Coworker: *lists all of our sandwiches and sides, which include cookies*

Customer: “Well, then can I get a turkey? And be sure to toast it.”

Coworker: “We actually don’t toast our sandwiches. They only come cold.”

Customer: “Fine. Whatever. Can I get a bowl of soup to get with that as well?”

Coworker: “Sir, again, we only have [lists side items].”

Customer: “What kind of sandwich shop is this?!”

(My manager and I have been waiting on the line to make his sandwich and hear everything.)

Manager: “Sir, [Another Sandwich shop] is just up the road. If you go there I know they have all the things you requested.”

Customer: “NO! I WANT TO EAT HERE!”

Manager: “Sir, we have told you the menu—”

Customer: “WELL, I DON’T LIKE YOUR MENU! YOU NEED MORE THINGS!”

Manager: “Sir, I have suggested another shop that can satisfy you and you rejected it. You can order something off our menu, or you can leave.”

Customer: “FINE!” *orders sandwich*

Coworker: “Would you like a cookie with that?”

Customer: “Ya, got any macadamia?”

Coworker: “We only have chocolate and oatmeal.”

Customer: “What about sugar?”

Manager: “Sir, those are our only choices.”

Customer: “This place is so stupid! Fine; I’ll have oatmeal.”

(We make his sandwich and wrap it up for him and just want him to leave.)

Customer: “This place is so stupid! I knew I should’ve gone to [Shop my manager recommended earlier].” *leaves*

Me: “He didn’t have to eat here!”

Manager: “I need a minute. I’ll be back.”

(My manager needed a few minutes to cool down before the dinner rush. Luckily we didn’t have any more incidences and we never saw him again.)

Literally Milked Dry

| London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(This is a conversation overheard between my coworker and two customers. Customer #1 is male and at the front of the queue, and has rather a large order of coffees. Customer #2 is behind him, a smaller woman who appears to be waiting impatiently. Our coffee machine on the bar is one of the typical barista-style ones with the nozzle for foaming the milk in a jug.)

Customer #1: *to my coworker* “So, I’ll have two cappuccinos.”

(My coworker makes them.)

Customer #1: “And two more, please.”

(My coworker makes them.)

Customer #1: “And a black coffee.”

(My coworker makes it.)

Customer #1: “And a tea.”

(My coworker makes it.)

Customer #1: “And three more cappuccinos. Sorry, love.”

(My coworker makes them. Thankfully after this, the customer decides that’s more than enough coffee for his group, and pays. Unfortunately, what with it being a very busy show, us being only a small bar, and his having ordered so many coffees, we have already run out of milk. My coworker turns to Customer #2 at this point and greets her.)

Coworker: “Good evening. What can I get you?”

Customer #2: “One cappuccino please.”

(My coworker explains to her that we are currently out of milk because of the large order she just took. The look on the woman’s face turns to pure rage.)

Customer #2: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON’T HAVE ANY MILK?!”

(The entire room stops and falls silent.)

Customer #2: *still shouting* “I NEED MY COFFEE. WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?!”

(My coworker is biting back the urge to retort, judging by her face. I decide to step in.)

Me: “I’m sorry, madam, but my coworker just explained to you the situation. We can either make you a tea and get you some milk sachets from the lower bar, or we can send you there to get filter coffee.”

Customer #2: *turns to me* “Oh, FORGET IT! You stupid people, not having any milk! This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Madam, you have shouted at my coworker and me, and insulted us. I am refusing you service in this bar for the entire evening. Please leave.”

(Customer #2 shoots me a dirty look and storms out. As she does so, a few of the patrons applaud. Customer #1 approaches the bar.)

Customer #1: “If I had known she was going to be that nasty without coffee I would willingly have given up one of mine. Glad I didn’t have to, though!”

(He left a £5 tip!)

No Will For A Refill

| MO, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(I’m currently at the register because the manager on shift doesn’t like to be up there all day. I normally don’t mind too much, and he’ll put someone else on if I’m just not feeling it. It is getting late and we have several customers in the store when the manager comes up and leans in close, which is always a sign that he’s talking about a customer.)

Manager: *whispering* “There’s a man in a baseball cap with a frozen refill in a mug and he’s going to say it’s ice.”

(After he says that he gets off the register to return to the store and I wait for the man in question. After a couple of minutes a man fitting the description comes up with a fifty two ounce mug and says it is an ice refill.)

Me: “My manager just told me that that is a frozen refill.”

Man: *getting grumpy* “No, it’s ice.”

Me: “If it’s ice, could you open it and show me?”

Man: “Fine, just take it!”

(He shoved the mug at me, luckily not knocking it off the counter, before he stormed out of the store. I double-checked that, yes, the mug was filled with one of our frozen drinks. A few minutes later my manager came back up and told me that the man saw him and threatened ‘to get him.’ All of this over a dollar-something refill that we caught him trying to filch.)

Milking The Return Policy

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I work at a small local grocery store and our return policy is quite generous, but some people take it too far.)

Me: “Hi, there! How are you today?”

Customer: “Hi, paper bags.”

Me: “Okay. Did you find what you were looking for?”

Customer: “Yes.” *pulls out a carton of almond milk* “If my son doesn’t like this can I return it?”

Me: “Well, unless it is unopened or there is something physically wrong with it we can’t accept a return simply because your son doesn’t like it.”

Customer: “Why not? If I buy this and he doesn’t like the taste it’s not my fault, so I should be able to get my money back.”

Me: “Let me get a manager for you, ma’am…”

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