Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,148 thumbs up)
  • Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    They Won’t Stop For Muffin

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m a cook working the breakfast shift. I notice two women sitting at the bar arguing with the waitress. We no longer serve bagels due to lack of sales and a high volume of losses, this being specified on the menu.)

    Customer #1: “So, do you guys serve like bagel sandwiches. You know like the ones at [Popular Chain Restaurant]?”

    Waitress: “I’m sorry, but those are not offered on the menu.”

    Customer #2: “But you can make it right?”

    Waitress: “Is it on the menu?”

    Customer #2: “No, but can you?”

    Waitress: “It’s not on the menu, so I”ll have to say no.”

    Customer #2: “You do make breakfast sandwiches though?”

    Waitress: “Well, that is on the menu so yes.”

    Customer #1: “Okay, so we’ll take the English muffin.”

    Waitress: “Okay.”

    Customer #1: “But I want to switch the ham for bacon.”

    Waitress: “We can do that.”

    Customer #1: “I’ll also want lettuce and tomato in it.”

    Customer #2: “At the same time we’d like to switch the English muffin for a bagel.”

    Streets Ahead Of The Customer

    | LA, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I am delivery driving pizza. My store has a 30-minute-or-less guarantee. I get a delivery order for E. 72nd St and head right over there with their order of a drink and a pizza. When I get to the address, I can’t find their house number. I call back to the store and verify the address. It comes back the same. I look some more… no luck. I call back again and they call back the person who placed the order who also verifies the same address. Still can’t find it! On a hunch I drive over to E. 72nd Road and find the guy. Note: this is NOT a nice neighborhood.)

    Customer: “You’re late! I want my order for free!”

    Me: “I can’t because you gave us the wrong address.”

    Customer: “Nope. I get it for free!”

    (He tries and tries to get me to give him the order for free, wasting my time.)

    Me: “Are you going to pay for this or not?”

    (He still insists on trying to talk me into giving it to him, so I flip open the pizza box, grab a slice, and start eating it right in front of him! I turn, get in my car, and head to the store. When I get there I tell my manager what I did, expecting to get chewed out.)

    Manager: *with a wink* “You’re going to have to pay for that order… Give me a dollar and don’t do that again.”

    (I thoroughly enjoyed that pizza and drink!)

    Driving You To Not Drink

    | Fort McMurray, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a dual restaurant; one dining room, two counters. One is a well known Canadian coffee shop; the other is a burger place. People love their coffee, so often don’t get a soft drink from my side.)

    Me: “Okay, you want a number nine with medium fries. Do you want a drink with that to make it a combo?”

    Customer: “No, my wife’s grabbing coffee from [Coffee Place].”

    (He pays, his wife grabs a table, and I go to wipe down some trays. My coworker hands off the food, but the customer just stands there staring at me.)

    Me: “Sorry, is there a problem?”

    Customer: “Yeah, don’t I get a [Soda] or something?”

    Me: “No.”

    Customer: “Well, why not?”

    Me: “Because literally less than two minutes ago you told me you didn’t want one.”

    Customer: “Well, I should get a drink for the price I paid!” *walks off*

    Next Customer: “Did he really get mad because you didn’t give him something be said he didn’t want?”

    Me: “Yup. You still wonder why people don’t like this job?”

    Refunder Blunder, Part 8

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (A woman approaches me with a 12-pack of soda in her cart.)

    Customer: “I found the sodas in the parking lot.”

    (I’m thinking, ‘wow, nice person! She wants to give them to whoever forgot them!’ Then she says:)

    Customer: “I don’t really like the flavor, and I want to exchange them for another kind.”

    Me: “Wait, to clarify: you found some sodas in the parking lot and want to exchange them?

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Uh… I needed to ask my manager.”

    (I ask my manager out of earshot.)

    Manager: “H***, no! Is this woman out of her mind?!”

    (I ended up telling her she could keep them if she wanted, but we were certainly not going to refund or exchange them. She rolled her eyes, grumbled, and handed the sodas over.)

    Related:
    Refunder Blunder, Part 7
    Refunder Blunder, Part 6
    Refunder Blunder, Part 5

    Egging Them On To Try It

    | UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A shop near me does sandwiches, Most of the options are chicken, but there are a few vegetarian options. Two customers are having the following conversation:)

    Customer #1: “Can you get me a half chicken, half egg sandwich.”

    Customer #2: “Half chicken, half egg? That just seems wrong.”

    Customer #1: “Why? Eggs come from chickens!”

    Customer #2: “But did the chicken come before the egg?”

    Customer #1: “Depends what side I eat first?”

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