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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Couldn’t Wait For An Actual Waiter

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (After classes my friends and I decide to stop and get something to eat. We are making our way through the restaurant to a table. I’m bringing up the end of the line.)

    Customer: *as he grabs my arm in a punishing grip* “My friends and I have been waiting for our coffee for over 20 minutes. You had d*** well better get it for us right now or the next time I see you I’ll make d*** sure you regret it!”

    Me: *scared he might hit me* “S-sure.”

    (He finally lets me go and I go looking for a manager.)

    Me: “The guys at that table told me that they’ve been waiting for over 20 minutes for their coffee and they’re REALLY mad.”

    Manager: “Why did they talk to you about it?”

    Me: “I have no idea.”

    Ignoring Those Nuggets Of Information

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (At our restaurant we serve a nugget meal, which comes with 8 or 12 nuggets. It’s the #5, but many people order a #8 or #12, wanting the nuggets. When they order a #12, it’s pretty easy to catch the error, as we don’t have a #12, but the #8 gets mixed up a lot with the actual #8, which is a grilled chicken club sandwich. I make it a habit to double and triple check #8 orders just in case. It happens way more often than I’d like. It’s near closing time, and most of the other employees are cleaning or working the drive-thru. I’m the only one at the register.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I’d like the #8 with sweet tea.”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be the grilled chicken club meal with a sweet tea?”

    Customer: “Um, yeah! That’s what I said!”

    Me: “Okay, just double-checking. Your total will be [total].”

    Customer: “Why would you need to check? I SAID a #8! What’s so hard?”

    Me: “I apologize, sir. Just wanting to make sure it’s right.”

    Customer: *getting very irate at what he seems to take as an insult to his intelligence* “Of course it’s right!! WHY WOULDN’T IT BE?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir.”

    (I finish ringing up his order, give him his drink, and his food, which has just come up.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

    (I help the next person, then two women step up to my register.)

    Lady #1: “Hi, I’d like a #12, please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; we don’t have a #12. Did you want the #5 with 12 nuggets instead?”

    Lady #1: “Oh, yes! I’m so sorry! Didn’t mean to say that; I guess I was just thinking of the number I wanted and it came out wrong.”

    Me: “Don’t worry about it. It’s no problem at all.”

    Lady #2: “We’re paying together. I guess I shouldn’t order a #8 if I want nuggets, right?”

    (She’s grinning, so I know she’s joking. I laugh.)

    Me: “You’d really be surprised how often that happens, honestly—”

    (Customer #1 suddenly storms back inside and to my register, cutting in front of the women.)

    Customer #1: “You gave me the wrong thing! Why is there a sandwich in here?”

    Me: “Sir, if you’ll wait just a minute, I’ll finish this order and then help you, as there are no other customers in line.”

    Customer #1: “NO! I am in a hurry and you messed up my order!”

    (I already know what his problem is, but I’m not about to help him over the other women who were already at my register.)

    Me: “Sir, please wait just a minute, okay?”

    Customer #1: *ignoring me* “I ordered a nugget meal and got a sandwich! I demand you fix this for free! How hard is it to get my food right?”

    Lady #1: “Oh, go ahead. We’re not in a rush.”

    Me: “Are you sure, ma’am?”

    Lady #2: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

    Me: “Okay. Now, sir, may I have your receipt?”

    (He thrusts it in my face.)

    Customer #1: “I ordered an #8 and I got this sandwich!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, the #8 is our chicken club sandwich. I remember taking this order a few minutes ago, and I repeated your order to you to make sure it was right. You did say it was.”

    Customer #1: “I wanted the nuggets, idiot! How hard is it to know I wanted the 8 nuggets?”

    Me: “I do apologize, sir—”

    Customer #1: “Don’t apologize! Fix! It! Now!”

    Lady #1: “Sir, you need to calm down. I ordered the wrong thing by accident, too, but I’m not acting like a child about it. If you ordered wrong and told her it was right when she repeated your order, it’s your own fault. Buy the nuggets if you want, but don’t make them give you free food over your own mistake.”

    Lady #2: “And you’d better hurry if you’re in such a rush.”

    Customer #1: “Fine! Do you sell the nuggets by themselves?”

    (We do, and I ring up his order. He leaves in a huff after getting his nuggets.)

    Lady #1: “You weren’t kidding about people mixing those combos up, honey!”

    Fishing For A Fisherman

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, History

    (I am working at the seafood counter of my store when a little old lady walks up.)

    Old Lady: “Did you catch these fish yourself?”

    Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Heh, good one.”

    Old Lady: “Well? Did you?”

    Me: “… No, ma’am.”

    Old Lady: “Well, which one of the people here did catch them?”

    Me: “No one here caught them, ma’am.”

    Old Lady: “You mean you didn’t catch them locally? What kind of fisherman are you?”

    Me: “I’m not a fisherman, ma’am. I’m a retail employee, as is everyone else here. Also, we’re right in the middle of the Florida peninsula, 45 miles to the ocean in either direction. And I couldn’t tell you anything about the fish living in local lakes or rivers, but I’m betting they’re not good to eat.”

    Old Lady: “Well, then how did you get these fish?!”

    Me: “They were farm-raised in Vietnam, frozen, shipped overseas, and driven here in a refrigerated truck.”

    Old Lady: “What’s happening to America?! When I was a little girl, we used to go down to all the Mom-and-Pop general stores and buy fresh fish, caught right here in God’s country!”

    Me: “Mom-and-Pop general stores don’t exist anymore, ma’am. My company had Mom and Pop locked up and burned their store to the ground.”

    Maybe He Was Looking For A Raspberry Pi

    | ME, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I own my own little computer repair shop, and lease it in a building next door to a restaurant. Though it is rare, I do sometimes get people who come into my shop by mistake looking for the restaurant because it offers to order out its food, and often this problem is resolved by me giving them directions to next door. My shop is very much so obviously a computer repair shop with only a desk to drop of your computer and a few displays with replacement parts. I am behind the drop off desk checking which order to work on next, when a customer comes in.)

    Me: “Oh, hi there. Here to pick up an order?”

    Customer: “Yup, I had a order for Ted.”

    Me: *I look up my database and find no orders for Ted.* “Umm, is it perhaps under any other name, or last name?”

    Customer: “No, I definitely put it under Ted.”

    Me: “Hmm, well what did you get done on your system? Maybe I can find it that way?”

    Customer: “Oh I ordered a large pepperoni, well done, with some hot wings.”

    Me: “You mean, like the food?”

    Customer: “…duh! You work in a restaurant. What do you think is here?”

    Me: “No, as you can see…” *I point around my shop* “I run a small computer repair shop.”

    Customer: “Don’t give me that bull-s***! I’m the husband of the owner and if you don’t get me my order I’ll have you fired!”

    (I am amused by this, because since we’ve been neighbors for a few years I know for sure the owner of the restaurant is indeed a woman, but is also a same sex couple with her partner.)

    Me: “Really now? I heard she and her husband broke up.”

    Customer: “No, we didn’t. We’re a loving man and wife. Now get me my d*** food, now!”

    Me: “Sorry. I just can’t do that. It goes against my policies.”

    Customer: “I want to speak to your manager, now!”

    (I call the restaurant and ask if the owner could come over real quick. She does.)

    Owner: “What seems to be—” *comes in and stops almost immediately. at the sight of the customer.*

    Customer: “You’re not the manager of [Restaurant]. You’re just the stupid c*** that thinks you’re clever. I wanna speak to the owner, now!

    Owner: “For the last time, you stupid dolt, this is not [Other Restaurant]. Stop coming to my store and yelling at my employees and customers!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to leave now.”

    Customer: “Screw this s***! You’re all stupid f***s! You can all go to h***! I’ll never eat at [Other Restaurant] again! I’ll have your jobs, too!”

    (Both Owner and I were left dumbfounded by the stupidity of this customer. Lucky for me, though, I got a free sandwich for having to deal with the stupid dolt!)

    Can’t Read The Minds Of The Mindless

    | Rockwall, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work at a steakhouse where we think and act guest first. There are never customers only guests.)

    Guest: *talking on phone*

    Guest’s Wife: “He’ll take a sweet tea.” *rattles off the rest of the drink order*

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Guest: “Why didn’t you ask me what I wanted to drink?”

    Me: “I didn’t want to interrupt your phone call, sir. Can I go ahead and get your order for you?”

    Guest: *looks at me strangely for a few moments*

    Guest’s Wife: “Did you get all that, sweetheart?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you didn’t actually say anything. What can I get you?”

    Guest: “Well, you should know. I was thinking it very loudly.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, could you please repeat what you would like to eat?”

    (The guest tells me and as I walk away loudly says to his wife:)

    Guest: “This is the worst customer service I’ve ever had! What kind of waitress can’t just tell what I’m thinking?!”

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