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    Category: Food & Drink

    Stupid Customers, like the rest of us have to eat and drink. Sadly like the rest of us, they sometimes eat with the rest of us. For every waiter, server, drive-thru operator, coffee shop barista, and restaurant manager who has had to deal with fake allergies, vegetarians who don’t know the meaning of the word and idiots who have yet to understand the concept of clearly listed ingredients, we salute you!

    Pranks For Breakfast

    , | Wheat Ridge, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m 16, working in McDonald’s over the summer, and for this particular shift I’m taking orders in the drive-thru. It’s about three in the afternoon.)

    Me: “Welcome to McDonald’s. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’ll have an Egg McMuffin.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that’s one of our breakfast items, and we stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll just have some hash browns.”

    Me: “Sadly, that’s another breakfast item.”

    Customer: “Hot cakes!”

    Me: “Breakfast item again, sir.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll have a Whopper with cheese.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to serve you one of those, but they’re sold at the Burger King a block down the road. We have Big Macs.”

    Customer: “I’ll just have a drink. Medium Frosty, please.”

    Me: “And for that, you’ll have to go to the Wendy’s across the street. We just have regular milkshakes.”

    Customer: “Medium Coke, then.”

    Me: “Lovely! That’ll be $1.08. Please pull around to the first window.”

    (I used the moment it took the car to pull around to take a deep breath before I turned to take the customer’s money, and saw him looking back at me with the biggest grin ever, laughing at himself.)

    Me: “Hi, Dad.”

    The Fall Of The Call

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. What can I get you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I want a large pepperoni pizza, no pepperoni, and six orders of fries.”

    Me: *click*

    (Five minutes later:)

    Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I want a dozen cheeseburgers, hold the cheese, and four fries.”

    Me: *click*

    (Five minutes later:)

    Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Do you have gum?”

    Me: “No, but I do have caller id, and will be giving your number to the police if you call here again.”

    Caller: *click*

    The Drink Of The Month

    | IA, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I work at a kiosk of a popular coffee chain. It’s before school, and my coworker is ringing up a girl’s order.)

    Customer: “I want a peppermint mocha, but with no coffee in it.”

    Coworker: “Okay, so a steamer.”

    (My coworker hands me the cup and I can’t help but giggle a little.)

    Coworker: “What is it?”

    Me: “Oh, you wrote down PMS for the drink order.”

    Coworker: *laughing* “Oh jeez, I didn’t even think about that. But that’s what it is, a peppermint mocha steamer.”

    Customer: “That’s one way to start a morning.”

    (I make the drink and hand it to her.)

    Me: “Here’s your PMS, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Don’t go PMSing now!”

    Buy One, Get One Free a From Thought

    , | Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer presents me with a buy one get one free for a burger.)

    Customer: “How much would this come to?”

    Me: “That’s [price].”

    Customer: “Okay, and how much would it be if I didn’t use the coupon and only got one burger?”

    Me: *That’s [same price].”

    Customer: “But how come it’s the same price?”

    Never Too Late (Or Early) To Apologize

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Love/Romance

    (A young woman in her late teens approaches the counter — her face is beet red. I’m a new hire and don’t want to deal with her, as she’s clearly angry, but she catches my eye before I can hide in the back.)

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am! What can I get for you today?”

    (The woman glares at me, but takes a deep breath and rubs at her eyes– then holds up her hand as though she is physically restraining herself from doing anything stupid.)

    Customer: “Look. My boyfriend just broke up with me and I’m really not in a good mood but I’m not angry with you and I’m really sorry you have to deal with me because I’m going to be rude and mean and you don’t deserve that. Okay? Sorry in advance.”

    Me: *taken aback* “Er… all right?”

    Customer: “Could I f****** get the unhealthiest f****** thing on your f****** menu, please? F***.”

    (Here’s the kicker: she was much more polite than most people I dealt with that day!)

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