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    Category: Family & Kids

    Team Awkward

    | Sydney, Australia | Family & Kids

    (I am a customer in line behind a middle-aged woman who is buying a DVD. She’s been very nervous throughout the whole transaction.)

    Customer: “Oh, dear…I will have to hide this DVD when I get home!”

    Cashier: “Oh really? Why?”

    Customer: “My children don’t like this movie. I will have to watch it when they’re not home. I’m gonna have to hide it somewhere!” *leaves*

    Coworker: “What was she buying?”

    Cashier:Twilight.”

    Urine Need Of Training Yourself

    | Short Hills, NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (Our store is in a shopping mall, so we don’t have public restrooms like most of our chain locations. Since the mall has restrooms conveniently located across the hall, we usually don’t have any problems. This day, a customer runs into our store holding her three-year-old son’s hand.)

    Customer: “Where’s your bathroom?”

    Me: “We actually don’t have one, but there’s one right over—”

    Customer: “What do you mean you don’t have a bathroom? My son needs to go immediately!”

    Me: “There’s a public restroom right across the hall over there.”

    Customer: “I don’t have time to get him over there! I need you to let us use yours!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. But really, the restroom is right across the hall—”

    Customer: “MY SON IS ABOUT TO PEE HIS PANTS! He’s still being potty trained and can’t hold it for very long!”

    (To my surprise, another customer who has overheard the conversation speaks in our defense.)

    Another Customer: “Are you crazy, lady? There’s a bathroom not thirty feet away! You’re going to let your poor son wet himself so you can argue with this man? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

    The Cuss-tomer Is Always Right

    | USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Top

    (A mother storms into our day camp. She’s holding her five-year-old son by the arm.)

    Mom: “My son said the F-word last night after coming home from YOUR day camp. I will NOT have a bunch of unprofessional teenagers setting bad examples for my child!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. I have no idea which employee could have said that, but I will definitely call a meeting with all of our counselors to discuss this.”

    Mom: “Yeah, you’d better. I should have all of you fired, really!”

    (She turns to leave, but as she walks away she drops her sunglasses.)

    Mom: “Oh, f***!”

    Weekly Roundup: The Parent Is Not Always Right

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Family & Kids, Roundups

    The Parent Is Not Always Right: This week, we feature five stories of people who aren’t just bad customers, but bad parents too!

    1. Bad Parents Bug Us:
      A mother and her two “angels” go on an insect-killing spree at a zoo.
    2. Fruit Is But One Food Group:
      There’s nothing sweet about this parent’s approach to nutrition!
    3. Talking S*** Behind Someone’s Back 101:
      A mother teaches her daughter the joys of smack-talk.
    4. Rounding Down To The Nearest Child:
      Signs you have too many kids: you don’t know how many you have!
    5. Oh Where, Oh Where Have My Role Models Gone:
      Nanny nanny boo-boo, mommy acts like a doo-doo!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Dislike Father, Dislike Son

    | Missouri, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

    (A lady walks in with her 11-year-old son. He is being very mouthy to her, mouthy to her friend that is with them. He even glares at me when I tell him he can not eat of our bulk candy bins. They finally come up to the counter to pay for their candy, but he is still saying horrible things to his mother. She is looking very upset by this point.)

    Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

    Customer’s Son: “Shut up!”

    Me: “You know, if my son talked to me that way—”

    Customer’s Son: “You’d what, b****?”

    Me: “I’d probably hogtie him and throw him into his room.”

    Customer: *laughs*

    Customer’s Son: “B****, you wouldn’t be standing!”

    Me: *laughing* “Oh? How you figure that?”

    Customer’s Son: “Because you’re a woman, and women are weak.”

    Customer: *to her son* “Oh my God, are you serious?! You are NOT visiting your father anymore!”

    Customer’s Son: *to me* “Now get me an Icee, b****.”

    Me: “Oh, I don’t know. I’m not sure my weak woman’s hands can make it for you!”

    Customer: *laughing, to me* “Thank you!” *to her son* “Now, let’s go. I’m not buying you anything!”

    Me: “Have a nice day!”

    Customer’s Son: *flips me off*

    Customer: *smacks him*


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