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    Category: Family & Kids

    Crushes Ice, Fruits, And Souls

    | Apopka, FL, USA | Family & Kids

    (I work in a retail home store. A mother walks past with her young child. The child is trying to get the mother’s attention by pointing out neat appliances.)

    Girl: “Mommy! Look at this blender thingy! It’s so cool! Look at what it does!”

    Me: “Sorry, dear. The picture on the box is just showing different things it can make using the same machine. It can’t actually mix both cookie dough and slurpees in the same canister.”

    (The child contemplates this for a moment as the mother walks by obliviously. She gets a look on her face as though I have completely crushed her only existence for living. She slinks away after her family, jaded from her new knowledge, to another part of the store and I don’t see them again for the rest of the evening.)

    Reading Is Addictive

    | Colorado, USA | Family & Kids

    (Two kids in the 10 to 12-year old range come to the register with 3 different marijuana-themed magazines.)

    Me: “Um, I don’t think I can sell you those.”

    Kids: “But our mom says it’s okay.”

    Me: “Is she even in the store?”

    (Their mother comes over a few minutes later and buys the magazines.)

    Mother: “As long as they’re reading, right?”

    Related:
    Reading Is Infectious

    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 5

    | Australia | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (Note: 40 degrees Celsius is about 104 degrees Fahrenheit.)

    Me: *on the phone* “Hi, I’ll need you to come and pick up your son right away. He’s not feeling very well.”

    Mother: “What’s wrong?”

    Me: “He’s running a 40 degree temperature.”

    Mother: “Oh. No, he’s fine. That’s normal.”

    Me: “Uh, I’m sorry?”

    Mother: “Don’t worry about him, love. That’s normal. He’s a werewolf, you know. Werewolves run hot. Didn’t you know that?”

    (It takes me a few moments, but I realize she’s perfectly serious.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I still think you need to take him to the doctor.”

    Mother: “Ugh, fine. I’ll come and get him, but the doctor will only say what I told you!”

    Related:
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 4
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
    Less Twilight, More Daylight

    Santa Will Not Be Pleased

    | Bellevue, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

    (It’s three weeks until Christmas, and I’m ringing up a customer when her child speaks up.)

    Child: “Mommy, when’s Christmas?”

    Customer: “When you eat each and every one of the chocolates from the advent calendar, it’ll be Christmas.”

    Child: “But I already ate all of the chocolate…”

    Sorry, You’re Toast

    , | Evans, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Does your kids’ chicken finger meal come with toast?”

    (The little boy, about ten, looks horrified at the mention of toast.)

    Me: “No, ma’am, it doesn’t.”

    (The boy’s face immediately lights up with happiness.)

    Customer: “Just add a piece of toast, then.”

    Boy: “But mom, I don’t like toast!”

    Customer: “You don’t know what you like.” *turns to me* “Add the toast.”

    Boy: *looks like he’s about to cry*


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