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    Category: Family & Kids

    Voracity Is The Mother Of Intervention

    | Ontario, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (This occurs when I’m bringing desserts and coffee to a table with two customers—one middle-aged woman and one elderly woman.)

    Me: “Here you go. Is there anything else I can get for you ladies?”

    Middle-aged Customer: “An extra fork, please.”

    Me: “I’ll get you one right away.”

    (After I return with her fork…)

    Elderly Customer: “Excuse me, but my coffee is far too strong.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “…and old. I tried some, and it’s clearly been sitting for a long time.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about the strength, although I actually made that coffee after you ordered it. I can make you another less strong one if you’d like.”

    Elderly Customer: “Yes, please.”

    (I leave, make her a new coffee at half-strength and come back to return it, at which point they’ve eaten all of their dessert.)

    Me: “Here you go.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Excuse me, but the mango cheesecake was far too sweet.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. The cheesecake is something they make in the kitchen, but I’ll certainly let them know for you.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Could I maybe get a discount on it, or have it for free because of that?”

    Me: “Um… I can ask the chef for you, but I don’t think he’ll say yes, since you finished the whole thing.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Well, I didn’t mention this earlier, but my dinner was also too salty.”

    Me: “Again, I can let them know, and ask about a discount, but you ate the whole thing, so I doubt I’ll be allowed to reduce the price for you.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “The scallops in it were mushy, too!”

    Me: “Well, they were breaded scallops and the dish you ordered was very saucy. It’s unfortunately unavoidable that they’d get somewhat soft from the sauce. Again, I can talk to the kitchen for you, but I doubt there’ll be any result.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Hmm…” *to the elderly customer* “Did we order any appetizers?”

    Elderly Customer: “The appetizer was delicious, you said so yourself. Now stop trying to get freebies and let the poor girl go do her job. There’s other people at other tables that you’re keeping her from helping by holding her here with all your complaints.”

    Middle-aged Customer: “Fine! That’s everything. Just bring us the bill.”

    (As I leave to go to the kitchen and deliver her complaints, I hear the elderly customer berating the middle-aged one.)

    Elderly Customer: “Shame on you, a grown woman! I didn’t raise you to be a greedyguts!”

    Related:
    Necessity Is The Mother Of Intervention

    Pint-Sized Profanity Patrol

    | Edmonton, Alberta, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (Two younger teens are hanging out near the specialty store where I work.)

    Young Teen #1: “Aw man, these pants are f***ing sweet!”

    Young Teen #2: “S***, I know! I love this f***ing store!”

    (The swearing and vulgar language keeps up for a while as families enter the store. A lady walks in with her young boy who can’t be older than three or four. He stands near the young teens and listens to their foul language for a while. Suddenly, he marches up to them with his hands in his little pockets, unimpressed.)

    Little Boy: “HEY! I’m here! I can hear you! Don’t talk like that!”

    Young Teens: *look dumbfounded and leave the store*

    Chide Should Go Before The Fall

    | Israel | Family & Kids, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (A kid is running around with a toy gun until he falls down and breaks it. His mother grabs it and approaches me.)

    Mother: “I would like another one of this.”

    Me: “No problem, but I need you to pay for the one you broke.”

    Mother: “That’s insane! He broke it in your store! That means it’s your responsibility!”

    (I point to a huge sign behind me that says, ‘You Break It, You Buy It.’ I have never seen anyone run that fast!)

    Your Argument Doesn’t Hold Water, Part 2

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I work in the gift shop of one of the most popular rides in the park. This ride has a height requirement as part of its safety regulations. It’s a water ride, not a roller coaster, so there is some wiggle room. NOTE: Merchandise/Gift Shops and Ride Operations are two completely separate areas; Merchandise people have no way to influence how Operations people do their stuff, and vice versa. A guest comes in and starts complaining to me about the height-checker.)

    Guest: “Hey, so that guy at the ride entrance won’t let my kids on. He said they were too short. We have annual passes and they’ve ridden this ride dozens of times. You need to fix this.”

    Me: “I am very sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately Merchandise can not influence Ride Operations. Sometimes, if they wear thicker shoes and look taller they get let on, so maybe that was what got your kids on before.”

    (She has actually been pretty calm up until this point. Mad, but calm. Not anymore…)

    Guest: “This is BULLS***! It’s because my kids are mixed, right? He let these two little white girls on, and they were shorter than my boys!”

    Me: *stunned* “Um, I don’t know anything about that, ma’am. I can get my supervisor for you if you’d like?”

    Guest: “Yes, please do that! Maybe s*** will get done in this place!”

    (I quickly run to the back of the store and find my supervisor.)

    Me: “Hey, uh… you need to come out here.”

    Supervisor: “What’s wrong?”

    Me: “There’s this lady complaining the height-checker won’t let her kids on the ride, and she says she thinks its because her kids are mixed.”

    Supervisor: “Okay, I’ll see if I can deal with what’s going on. Good job.”

    (My supervisor heads out to deal with the guest, and I follow.)

    Supervisor: “Hello, ma’am, I am the supervisor for this store. How can I help you?”

    Guest: “Yeah! That racist dumba** at the front of the ride won’t let my kids on! He say’s they’re too short, but he let these little white girls and they were shorter than my kids!”

    Supervisor: “Okay, ma’am… unfortunately, Merchandise doesn’t have any say in how Ride Operations works. What I can do is try to get a hold of the manager for the ride, and then we can work this out with the employee in question. Is that alright?”

    Guest: “Fine, I guess. I’ll take that bastard to court if I have to!”

    Supervisor: “Hopefully it won’t come to that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I will be right back with the ride manager.”

    (My supervisor leaves to go find the ride’s manager. He’s gone for about ten minutes before these two boys come running up, soaking wet, and start yelling excitedly at the guest. An African-American guy also shows up, also soaking wet. They have obviously just just gotten off the ride. From what they’re saying to each other, it’s clear this is her family.)

    Guest: “What the h***? Why are you all so wet?”

    Guest’s Husband: “We got splashed by the cannons at the end of the ride.”

    Guest: “What?! That racist bastard at the front wouldn’t let the boys get on! Said they were too short! But he let those white girls on, and they were shorter!”

    Guest’s Son: “No, mom, he said we were too little to go on alone. Since you didn’t want to go with us, we went and found dad by the roller coaster.”

    (By now, my supervisor has returned with the ride manager.)

    Ride Manager: “Hello, ma’am, I am the manager of this ride. I heard that you were having a problem with one of my employees. Can you elaborate?”

    Guest: *turns bright red, stays completely silent, and leaves with her family*

    Related:
    Your Argument Doesn’t Hold Water

    A Beautiful Soul

    | NH, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (There’s a photo up on the wall of the studio that has a coworker, a former coworker, and myself in it. People unfortunately usually comment on the former coworker’s appearance. A family comes in with four girls; the second oldest is about 15 and looks at the photo.)

    15-year-old Girl: “Oh, she’s really ugly. Look at this ugly girl!”

    Mother: “Don’t say things like that out loud.”

    15-year-old Girl: “But she’s so ugly!” *turns to her five-year-old sister* “She’s ugly, isn’t she? See how ugly she is!”

    Little Sister: “Um, I think ALL these girls are pretty!” *smiles and walks away*

    (She made my day!)

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