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    Category: Family & Kids

    Chide Should Go Before The Fall

    | Israel | Family & Kids, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (A kid is running around with a toy gun until he falls down and breaks it. His mother grabs it and approaches me.)

    Mother: “I would like another one of this.”

    Me: “No problem, but I need you to pay for the one you broke.”

    Mother: “That’s insane! He broke it in your store! That means it’s your responsibility!”

    (I point to a huge sign behind me that says, ‘You Break It, You Buy It.’ I have never seen anyone run that fast!)

    Your Argument Doesn’t Hold Water, Part 2

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I work in the gift shop of one of the most popular rides in the park. This ride has a height requirement as part of its safety regulations. It’s a water ride, not a roller coaster, so there is some wiggle room. NOTE: Merchandise/Gift Shops and Ride Operations are two completely separate areas; Merchandise people have no way to influence how Operations people do their stuff, and vice versa. A guest comes in and starts complaining to me about the height-checker.)

    Guest: “Hey, so that guy at the ride entrance won’t let my kids on. He said they were too short. We have annual passes and they’ve ridden this ride dozens of times. You need to fix this.”

    Me: “I am very sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately Merchandise can not influence Ride Operations. Sometimes, if they wear thicker shoes and look taller they get let on, so maybe that was what got your kids on before.”

    (She has actually been pretty calm up until this point. Mad, but calm. Not anymore…)

    Guest: “This is BULLS***! It’s because my kids are mixed, right? He let these two little white girls on, and they were shorter than my boys!”

    Me: *stunned* “Um, I don’t know anything about that, ma’am. I can get my supervisor for you if you’d like?”

    Guest: “Yes, please do that! Maybe s*** will get done in this place!”

    (I quickly run to the back of the store and find my supervisor.)

    Me: “Hey, uh… you need to come out here.”

    Supervisor: “What’s wrong?”

    Me: “There’s this lady complaining the height-checker won’t let her kids on the ride, and she says she thinks its because her kids are mixed.”

    Supervisor: “Okay, I’ll see if I can deal with what’s going on. Good job.”

    (My supervisor heads out to deal with the guest, and I follow.)

    Supervisor: “Hello, ma’am, I am the supervisor for this store. How can I help you?”

    Guest: “Yeah! That racist dumba** at the front of the ride won’t let my kids on! He say’s they’re too short, but he let these little white girls and they were shorter than my kids!”

    Supervisor: “Okay, ma’am… unfortunately, Merchandise doesn’t have any say in how Ride Operations works. What I can do is try to get a hold of the manager for the ride, and then we can work this out with the employee in question. Is that alright?”

    Guest: “Fine, I guess. I’ll take that bastard to court if I have to!”

    Supervisor: “Hopefully it won’t come to that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I will be right back with the ride manager.”

    (My supervisor leaves to go find the ride’s manager. He’s gone for about ten minutes before these two boys come running up, soaking wet, and start yelling excitedly at the guest. An African-American guy also shows up, also soaking wet. They have obviously just just gotten off the ride. From what they’re saying to each other, it’s clear this is her family.)

    Guest: “What the h***? Why are you all so wet?”

    Guest’s Husband: “We got splashed by the cannons at the end of the ride.”

    Guest: “What?! That racist bastard at the front wouldn’t let the boys get on! Said they were too short! But he let those white girls on, and they were shorter!”

    Guest’s Son: “No, mom, he said we were too little to go on alone. Since you didn’t want to go with us, we went and found dad by the roller coaster.”

    (By now, my supervisor has returned with the ride manager.)

    Ride Manager: “Hello, ma’am, I am the manager of this ride. I heard that you were having a problem with one of my employees. Can you elaborate?”

    Guest: *turns bright red, stays completely silent, and leaves with her family*

    Related:
    Your Argument Doesn’t Hold Water

    A Beautiful Soul

    | NH, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (There’s a photo up on the wall of the studio that has a coworker, a former coworker, and myself in it. People unfortunately usually comment on the former coworker’s appearance. A family comes in with four girls; the second oldest is about 15 and looks at the photo.)

    15-year-old Girl: “Oh, she’s really ugly. Look at this ugly girl!”

    Mother: “Don’t say things like that out loud.”

    15-year-old Girl: “But she’s so ugly!” *turns to her five-year-old sister* “She’s ugly, isn’t she? See how ugly she is!”

    Little Sister: “Um, I think ALL these girls are pretty!” *smiles and walks away*

    (She made my day!)

    Good Things Come In Small Dosages

    | New York, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

    (My coworker at the pharmacy has been working with a customer who seems to be having the worst day. Unfortunately, my coworker is the victim of the customer’s mood, and he has reduced the poor girl to tears. Behind this customer is a young father in his mid-20s and his three sons, aged probably six, two, and less than a year old. The young father is clearly upset with the behavior of the customer in front of him, but, probably for the sake of his children, is keeping his mouth shut. Out of nowhere, his six-year-old son speaks up.)

    Six-year-old Son: “‘Scuse me, sir? I think you’ll probably get what you need easier in life if you’re nice to people. You’re making the pretty lady sad and she didn’t do anything wrong.”

    Customer: *clearly shocked* “Didn’t your father here teach you to mind your own business, son?!”

    (The young father is actually grinning proudly, and reaches over to high-five his son.)

    Father: “Actually, I taught him not to raise his voice at good, honest people.”

    Customer: *clearly embarrassed, pays and leaves quickly*

    Six-year-old Son: *to my coworker* “Can I give you a hug? If anyone gives you trouble, call me!”

    (My coworker was very impressed by the brave little boy’s actions, while his father proudly teared up. I doubt the family will ever have to pay at our pharmacy again, and my coworker has a new best friend!)

    Fashions Of Dorothy

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (A customer walks in, and I start helping her out with styles and sizes. Her mom walks in right behind her while I’m starting a fitting room.)

    Me: “So, I’m just going to start you out with these styles first. Let me know how they fit.”

    Daughter: “Okay, thanks!”

    (While she’s trying her clothes on, I’m folding product and talking to my coworker.)

    Mom: “Excuse me, sir!”

    Me: “Yes! How’s everything going?”

    Mom: “Are you gay?”

    Me: *chuckling* “Excuse me?”

    Mom: “Are you gay? You’re well groomed, well dressed, and smell good… and, all gay guys look and smell like you. Plus, you know what looks good.”

    Me: “Yes, I am.”

    Mom: “Tell me, how does my daughter look in that outfit? Would you let her be your Hag?”

    Daughter: *blood-shot face* “MOM!” *to me* “I’m sorry, sir.”

    Mom: “What?! The gays always have beautiful girls surrounding them!”

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