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  • Category: Family & Kids

    Drunkenness Can Give Birth To Wordlessness

    | California, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (A husband and wife are staying at our hotel because they are visiting the wife’s father, whose own wife is giving birth. One evening, the husband and father-in-law come stumbling into our front office.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Husband: “Quick, I need… um…” *turns to father-in-law* “What’s the word…”

    Father-In-Law: *shrugs*

    (The husband says the word several times in another language. My coworker hears this and approaches.)

    Coworker: *to me* “I got it.”

    (My coworker speaks to them in the language they were speaking. She then nods, calls them a taxi, and enters a note on their account for the manager.)

    Me: “What was that about?”

    Coworker: “Well, you know how he and his wife were here to celebrate with her dad?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, well, since his wife is pregnant and can’t drink, he and his father-in-law were in the hotel bar alone. The father-in-law wanted to tell him he was ordering traditional Irish baby gifts when they got a call that his wife had gone into labor.”

    Me: “Oh wow! That’s great! Wait… what was he confused about, then?”

    Coworker: “Oh, they were too drunk to remember the English words for ‘hospital’ and ‘taxi’.”

    Me: “I’m so glad you weren’t on your lunch break!”

    
Kids Say The Truthiest Things, Part 2

    | UK | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (The zoo allows children aged 3 and under in free; however, this is frequently misread by visitors as ‘under three’. A couple comes in with a boy aged around 5, and a little girl. My dad’s on the entrance till, while I’m waiting to take over for lunch break.)

    Customer: “Two adults and one child, please. She’s two.” *points at their little girl*

    Customer’s Little Boy: “Mummy, she’s three! She’s not two, mummy. Don’t you remember? She had a birthday and a cake and she’s three now. She’s not two any more! I got her a present and her friends came over and…”

    Customer: *puts on a ghastly fake smile and drags both children away*

    Customer’s Little Boy: *while being dragged away* “But she’s THREE!”

    Related:
    Kids Say The Truthiest Things

    We All Have A Dream

    | Tulsa, OK, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work by myself on the overnight shift at my store. Around 1 am a little old African American lady and her granddaughter enter my store. While the grandmother goes to the bathroom, the granddaughter approaches me.)

    Granddaughter: *to me* “Are you going to be making any more fresh tea tonight?”

    Me: “Sorry, but we clean them overnight since we don’t have a high demand. We start them new around 3 am.”

    Granddaughter: “YOU’RE LAZY AND INCOMPETENT!”

    (As she continues to yell at me, she is unaware her grandmother has come out of the bathroom and is now behind her. Suddenly, the grandmother smacks her granddaughter on the back of the head and lays into her.)

    Grandmother: “Your grandfather and I did not march on Washington with the great Martin Luther King for you to treat hardworking people like that! You haven’t worked a day in your life because we worked hard and invested right so you would have better privileges than we did. If you want to act like a ghetto b****, then I can take away that nice apartment you live in and let you survive where I grew up. Now you apologize to this young lady!”

    Granddaughter: *in tears* “I’m sorry… I had no reason to behave like that. Please forgive my outburst.”

    (I did, and grandma got a free drink!)

    Rated I For Immature, Part 2

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Family & Kids, Underaged

    (A friend and I are working a late shift at a popular video game store. Two kids come in and pick up a copy of Halo 3. This happens to be a mature-rated game (18+), and these kids are obviously far short of that.)

    Kid #1: “I’ll take this.”

    Coworker: “Sorry, you need to be over 18 to buy that. This is a mature-rated game.”

    Kid #2: “YOUR MOM IS A MATURE RATED GAME!”

    Coworker: “Get out!”

    (The kids swear at us as they leave. The two of us look at each other.)

    Me: “What the h*** just happened?!”

    Related:
    Rated I For Immature

    How Crotcheters Get Crotchety

    | Virginia, USA | Family & Kids

    (I work in a booth selling tickets for a carousel. I have some crocheting with me for when it’s slow. I’m crocheting as a woman and her small grandson approach the booth, so I lay aside my yarn to help them.)

    Little Boy: *looks at the yarn* “What are you doing?”

    Me: “I’m making a hat.”

    Little Boy:” A hat for you?”

    Me: “No, a hat for one of my friends.”

    Little Boy: “You have friends?!”

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