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    Category: Family & Kids

    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 6

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Family & Kids

    (I’m a lifeguard at a large pool in San Antonio. We don’t allow anyone who can’t swim to jump from the diving boards. This particular day, we have two parties, both 40 people large. A young girl is about to jump off the board and has already been told she cannot be in the pool, due to inappropriate swimwear. Her mother approaches me.)

    Mother: “Excuse me, would you mind keeping an eye on my daughter?”

    Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am, it’s my job to watch her, but if I remember correctly, your daughter’s already been told not to get in the pool. She’s not wearing a swimsuit.”

    Mother: “Oh, don’t worry, she’ll only go off once. Just watch her. She can’t swim.”

    (I proceed to blow my whistle and tell the girl to step down. When she walks over, the mother is absolutely livid.)

    Me: “Your daughter’s been told already ma’am. She shouldn’t even be in the pool. Besides that, we don’t allow anyone that can’t swim to go off the boards.”

    Mother: “Are you f***ing kidding me?! This is f***ing ridiculous! All you have to do is watch my f***ing daughter go off the board and make sure she doesn’t drown. How hard is your godd*** job?! Where’s your manager?!”

    (My manager is called over and I explain the situation.)

    Manager: *to the mother* “Let me get this straight: you want my guard to be ready to save your daughter, who can’t swim, instead of just now allowing her off the board, like he’s trained to do?”

    Mother: *blank stare*

    Manager: “Just leave.”

    Related:
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 5
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 4
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 3
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End, Part 2
    Dim Witted And Off The Deep End

    Common Courtesies: Not For Commoners, Part 2

    | New York, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (A couple and their 5-year-old child comes into my 20 items or less lane. However, they have a large, overflowing cart with clearly more than 20 items.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m sorry but are you aware this lane is 20 items or less?”

    Customer: “Does it matter? Take care of us!”

    (The customer starts unloading her items on the tiny counter. Meanwhile, her child is standing in the cart and starts throwing things.)

    Me: *to the customer’s child* “Alright, sweetie, please don’t throw things.”

    Customer: “Excuse me? Don’t you dare tell my kid what to do!”

    Me: “Ma’am, he’s throwing things. He could hurt—”

    (At this point the kid hefts up a very large can of broth and throws it at me, hitting me in the face.)

    Customer’s Child: *laughs*

    Customer: “Oh! Isn’t he cute?! Good job sweetie! We don’t treat these people nice. It’s good to learn early to make them shut up!”

    (Another cashier took over for me so I could attend to my injuries, but before security could get there they had left the store. Thankfully nothing was broken, but I had a pretty bashed up looking face for a while!)

    Related:
    Common Courtesies: Not For Commoners

    Suffocatingly Insufferable

    | Michigan, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I work in an enclosed collision center where the customer can drive in for an estimate. We therefore ask all customers to turn off their vehicle while it’s inside to prevent the fumes from building up.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am! Can you please turn your vehicle off and we can start the estimate?”

    Customer: “No, I will not! My children are in the car. It is far too hot for them!”

    Me: “We have to have the vehicle turned off. The fumes can build up in here very quickly making everyone—including your children—very sick.”

    Customer: “I care that my children are too HOT. I don’t care if they get SICK!”

    A Bit Carefree With The Free Care

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Top

    (I work in the play area at a popular furniture store. Parents are allowed to drop their children off for one hour, provided they sign an information form stating all their information, and that the person signing them in will be the person signing them out. A lady comes up to me with her children.)

    Me: “Hi, ma’am, welcome to [furniture store].”

    Customer: *grunts and shoves form at me*

    Me: “As you are the person who signed this, you will be the only one able to sign your children out. You have one hour for which you have to remain in the store. Here is your pager which we will page when your time is up.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I get it, okay!”

    (The customer then walks off before I can even get her children in the door. Three hours go by, and she doesn’t return, which is far beyond her allotted one hour. We have paged her, sent overhead pages throughout the store, and phoned her cellphone number over twenty times and left numerous voicemails. After contacting the police, we phone her one more time; she finally she picks up.)

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Me: “Ma’am, where have you been? You’re children are still here and we have been unable to contact you.”

    Customer: “Well, I went to work.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is NOT a daycare service. We informed you that you had one hour.”

    Customer: “The man said I could leave them there for as long as I want!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there are only women working here and I was the one who signed you in. I can assure you, no man said you could abandon your children here.”

    Customer: “No, the man walking around in the store!”

    Me: “So, you asked a random man if you could abandon your children here?”

    Customer: “Yes! So, I can get my mom to come pick them up?”

    Me: “Sorry, but the person who signed them in is the only one who can sign them out.”

    Customer: “WHAT THE H***?! What the f*** is wrong with you people?! I’m at work trying to make a living!”"

    Me: “Ma’am, we are trying to protect your children from being picked up by strangers. If you don’t get here within 15 minutes, I’m calling child social services.”

    (She showed up in 5.)

    Ah, Parents, Part 3

    | Upstate NY, USA | Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a popular cellphone retailer. On this day, a customer comes in with her 8-year-old son; he is severely misbehaving.)

    Me: “Welcome to [retailer]. What may I help you with?”

    Customer: “I want to upgrade my phone.”

    (Meanwhile, her son is running around, touching every phone and even throwing things on floor.)

    Me: “Not a problem. Let’s see what we can do today.”

    (Her son continues to cause chaos, but I’m trying my best to ignore him.)

    Me: “Well, we have great sales going on—”

    (Suddenly, her son trips the security alarm on the phone. Knowing he’s done something wrong, he turns to me in fear.)

    Me: *to her son* “Now, you have to go to jail. The police are on their way, and your mom will have to pay three weeks of your allowance to bail you out.”

    Customer: *whispers to me* “Thank you…”

    (The customer’s son never left his mom’s side after that. She even gave me a customer satisfaction of all 10s!)

    Related:
    Ah, Parents, Part 2
    Ah, Parents

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