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    Category: Family & Kids

    Hair Unapparent For This Fair Parent

    | Eustis, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (Note: Customer #1 is a well-known regular in her late twenties who has been coming to our store since before her son could walk. She usually sports funky hair while her son is in elementary school and likes talking to the employees. On this day, Customer #1 seems to be in pain but we’re talking as I scan her items while her son is joking about school with the bagger. Another customer, Customer #2, is waiting impatiently.)

    Customer #2: “Will you all stop talking and hurry up?”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am, but this lady has quite a few items. As you can see, we’re both working as well as talking. If you don’t want to wait, you can take your things to the customer service desk where they’ll be happy to help you.”

    Bagger: *to Customer #1* “Do you need help out today?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, please, and thank you.”

    Customer #2: “What the heck?! Why are you being so d*** lazy? Other people need help out. Do it yourself.”

    Me: “There are other baggers who will happily come over and help you if you need, ma’am.”

    Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “You young people are so d*** lazy these days. You probably stay home and paint your hair all those ridiculous colors. I bet you’ve never even worked a day in your life. What the h*** kind of example are you setting for your kid?”

    Customer #1: “Not that it’s really your business, but you’re wrong. I worked for [local city] before my son was born. I worked at a [local gas station] until the fact that I have [chronic illness 1] and [chronic illness 2] meant I was in too much pain. I’m having a very rough day today and wouldn’t have come out if I didn’t have to pick up my medication and food. [Son] isn’t strong enough to help with the heavy things, so I’m accepting the bagger’s offer to do so.”

    Customer #2: “Well, I, uh…”

    Customer #1′s Son: “You’re a mean lady, and I shouldn’t act like you!”

    Customer #1: “…And that’s the example I set for my son. I hope you learned something too!”

    A Touchy Subject

    | USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    (My partner and I are certified EMTs. We are answering a 911 response for a minor having a seizure.)

    Mother: “Oh, thank god! My son is in his room and was violently shaking! I think he had a seizure!”

    (At this point my partner goes in to see the teenage son, who is sitting in his bed and is not showing any symptoms of recently having a seizure. I am still getting information from the mother when my partner returns.)

    My Partner: *to me* “You can stop getting info.” *to mother* “Ma’am, with all due respect needed, you’re son did not have a seizure, he was umm… well, no easy way to put this, but he was masturbating.”

    Mother: “That’s impossible! How dare you accuse my son of such a vile sin! He knows better! He’s a good Christian boy and would never touch himself in such a horrible way! You will transport him to the hospital for proper treatment for his seizure!”

    Me: “Ma’am, your son is admitting to my partner what he was doing. He is not showing any symptoms of coming out of an actual seizure. There is no medical condition here for anyone to treat. I don’t think there is a need for him to go to the hospital.”

    Mother: “You will take him to the hospital! He needs treatment!”

    (After 15 unsuccessful minutes of trying to get the mother to cooperate, it’s obvious she wasn’t going to. We ended up having to transport her son to the ER. Needless to say, he was mortified and was quickly discharged.)

    Drunkenness Can Give Birth To Wordlessness

    | California, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (A husband and wife are staying at our hotel because they are visiting the wife’s father, whose own wife is giving birth. One evening, the husband and father-in-law come stumbling into our front office.)

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Husband: “Quick, I need… um…” *turns to father-in-law* “What’s the word…”

    Father-In-Law: *shrugs*

    (The husband says the word several times in another language. My coworker hears this and approaches.)

    Coworker: *to me* “I got it.”

    (My coworker speaks to them in the language they were speaking. She then nods, calls them a taxi, and enters a note on their account for the manager.)

    Me: “What was that about?”

    Coworker: “Well, you know how he and his wife were here to celebrate with her dad?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, well, since his wife is pregnant and can’t drink, he and his father-in-law were in the hotel bar alone. The father-in-law wanted to tell him he was ordering traditional Irish baby gifts when they got a call that his wife had gone into labor.”

    Me: “Oh wow! That’s great! Wait… what was he confused about, then?”

    Coworker: “Oh, they were too drunk to remember the English words for ‘hospital’ and ‘taxi’.”

    Me: “I’m so glad you weren’t on your lunch break!”

    
Kids Say The Truthiest Things, Part 2

    | UK | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (The zoo allows children aged 3 and under in free; however, this is frequently misread by visitors as ‘under three’. A couple comes in with a boy aged around 5, and a little girl. My dad’s on the entrance till, while I’m waiting to take over for lunch break.)

    Customer: “Two adults and one child, please. She’s two.” *points at their little girl*

    Customer’s Little Boy: “Mummy, she’s three! She’s not two, mummy. Don’t you remember? She had a birthday and a cake and she’s three now. She’s not two any more! I got her a present and her friends came over and…”

    Customer: *puts on a ghastly fake smile and drags both children away*

    Customer’s Little Boy: *while being dragged away* “But she’s THREE!”

    Related:
    Kids Say The Truthiest Things

    We All Have A Dream

    | Tulsa, OK, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work by myself on the overnight shift at my store. Around 1 am a little old African American lady and her granddaughter enter my store. While the grandmother goes to the bathroom, the granddaughter approaches me.)

    Granddaughter: *to me* “Are you going to be making any more fresh tea tonight?”

    Me: “Sorry, but we clean them overnight since we don’t have a high demand. We start them new around 3 am.”

    Granddaughter: “YOU’RE LAZY AND INCOMPETENT!”

    (As she continues to yell at me, she is unaware her grandmother has come out of the bathroom and is now behind her. Suddenly, the grandmother smacks her granddaughter on the back of the head and lays into her.)

    Grandmother: “Your grandfather and I did not march on Washington with the great Martin Luther King for you to treat hardworking people like that! You haven’t worked a day in your life because we worked hard and invested right so you would have better privileges than we did. If you want to act like a ghetto b****, then I can take away that nice apartment you live in and let you survive where I grew up. Now you apologize to this young lady!”

    Granddaughter: *in tears* “I’m sorry… I had no reason to behave like that. Please forgive my outburst.”

    (I did, and grandma got a free drink!)

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