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    Category: Family & Kids

    Carting Her Off To Justice

    | Woodinville, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I am shopping at a popular grocery and am in the long line to check out. I notice a cart nearby with a kid. It starts rolling into a shelf. I grab it before any damage is done.)

    Me: “Hey, whose cart is this with the kid?”

    (I see a woman at the meat department with a phone, talking away. I believe she has a purse that matches the coat on the cart.)

    Me: “Ma’am your kid almost rolled into—”

    (She waves me off and continues talking on the phone. I sigh, reposition the cart, then get back into the line.)

    Customer In Front: “Stupid woman, leaving her kid to roll off to God knows where.”

    Me: “I hope the phone call is worth the—”

    (I notice the cart rolling again, so I stop it. This time, the woman notices.)

    Woman: “What are you doing to my kid you… you… kidnapper!?”

    Me: “I was stopping the cart.”

    Woman: *snatches the cart from me* “Stay away from my baby.”

    Customer In Front: *laughs* “Well, least she paying attention now.”

    (The woman continues glaring at me. A few minutes pass, and the customer in front is done being checked out. However, I’m surprised when the woman and two cops approach me.)

    Woman: *points to me* “There he is, the kidnapper!”

    Officer #1: *to me* “Alright bub, let’s go.”

    Officer #2: *getting cuffs out* “I got him.”

    Customer In Front: “Woah, officers! Stop! You haven’t even heard his story!”

    Woman: “He tried to kidnap my baby! That’s the story!”

    (The two officers talk to people in the line about what happened, and are eventually convinced about my side of the story.)

    Officer #1: “Ma’am, please put your hands on the counter.”

    Woman: “What! What for? I’m not a kidnapper! I refuse!”

    Officer #2: “Please work with us, not against us.”

    Woman: “Arrest that man for kidnapping!”

    Officer #2: “Ma’am, you are under arrest for abandoning a minor, and for endangering a minor. We will contact your husband or a relative at the station to get your child.”

    Woman: “I’m innocent! He was kidnapping!” *she screams all the way out*

    Needs To Adopt A Nicer Outlook

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Religion, Top

    (I am 21, but I look about 16. I am also two weeks away from giving birth to a baby girl, but with my age and the fact that I couldn’t get my act together at the time, I decide to give her up for adoption. I have the family picked, but I decide to make a trip away before I have her. I am sitting down at the library, reading a book.)

    Older Woman: “Good lord, teenagers these days! Thinking they can actually give a baby everything they need. These poor children are going to suffer!”

    (I figure she is talking about me since I am the only pregnant woman around. I stay quiet, but I am getting uncomfortable with what she is saying:)

    Older Woman: “Excuse me miss?” *she taps me on the shoulder*

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Older Woman: “How do you think you can provide for that baby? You only are going to make that child suffer. You should have accepted Christ into your heart.”

    Me: “Listen, ma’am, you have no right to judge me. First, I’m 21, out of high school, and I have my own apartment. Second, you don’t know my story, or you would realize that even though I love my daughter very much, I know I can’t provide for her, so I’ve chosen to give her a better life and will be placing her for adoption with an amazing family. Third, do you not see the cross around my neck? I am very Christian, and I know that god gave me my daughter for a reason, and he gave me her parents for another reason. Now, I do know some young parents, and they are better mothers than I could ever be. Now, if you could please let me get back to my book, I want to have a little bit of a calm time before I go back home, and make the preparations for my daughters’ birth.”

    (The older woman is very shocked and leaves. Another man who has heard what I have said looks at me, leaves for about five minutes, then comes back with a big chocolate chip muffin and a big apple juice, which he sets in front of me.)

    Man: “I saw you come in earlier with the apple juice, and after the crap that woman said, figured you and the baby could use a treat. But your comment about the young mothers that are better mothers than you? You are doing the best thing for your daughter, and you are the best mother I know.”

    (He walked away before I could say anything, but his comments made me cry in the good way. Two weeks later, my daughter was born, and she has the best parents around, and she will have so much support. To that man, thank you for what you said and did.)

    Help’s Kitchen

    | TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work at the continental breakfast bar at a chain hotel. My job is to make sure the food is constantly filled and the tables are wiped down. A little boy, maybe three or four years old, is sitting with his parents. The boy is screaming, throwing food, and in general causing a racket. While wiping down tables, I hear their exchange.)

    Boy: “I don’t want to go!”

    (Despite his mother trying to reassure him, he continues to scream.)

    Father: “You know what? Fine. We’ll leave you here. Come on, honey.”

    (The father makes a big show of gathering his wife’s purse and their nearby bags. The boy looks extremely satisfied. I chime in.)

    Me: “Oh, no! Don’t do that!”

    Boy: “…Why?”

    Me: “That’s what my parents did to me! The hotel wouldn’t let me stay in my room, so they put me to work serving breakfast!”

    Boy: “They wouldn’t do that!”

    Me: “Well, I was too little to make food, so they had me crawl under the fridge and clean it because it was so dusty.”

    (I cast a glance toward the kitchens.)

    Me: “You could probably fit under there.”

    (Any skepticism on the boy’s face is long gone. He bursts into tears and apologizes to his parents. His mother calms him down. As the family leaves, the father mouths ‘thank you’ at me. I made a child cry, but I got a positive review online from the family!)

    It All Ends Swimmingly

    | USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (I teach swim lessons to kids, aged 4-12. Many of the children have lisps or other slight speech impediments, and this particular child is very rambunctious and is pushing himself off the wall of the pool and moving quickly through the water.)

    Child: “I pee’d you!”

    Me: “Wait, what?”

    Child: “I PEE’D YOU!”

    Me: *fearing the worst* “What do you mean by you ‘pee’d’ me?”

    Child: “Look, I’ll do it again!”

    (He pushes off the wall and moves quickly through the water again.)

    Me: “Oh, you mean you torpedoed me!”

    Child: “Yeah! What did you think I meant?”

    Iron Chef

    | QC, Canada | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

    (I’m working in a bookstore, storing cooking books. On top of the pile is Gwyneth Paltrow’s recipe book. A boy of around 10 walks by and stops next to me.)

    Boy: “Mom, look! Pepper Potts wrote a cookbook!”

    (Being a comics fan, he totally made my day!)

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