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    Category: Family & Kids

    A Boy For All Seasons

    | Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’m taking a four-year-old boy back for a check up. He seems a little nervous so I’m talking to him to make him calm down a little bit. Note: the Broncos are playing in the play-offs.)

    Me: “Is it still snowing outside? You look like you’re freezing!”

    Kid: “Uh-huh, I don’t like the cold!”

    Me: “Aw, that’s too bad. I love the cold. I love it when it’s winter! What’s your favorite season?”

    Kid: “Post-season!”

    Me: “Huh, what? Can you name the four seasons?”

    Kid: “Duh! Pre-season, regular season, post-season and off-season! The Broncos made it to post-season! YAY!”

    (Little guy sure showed me! And wasn’t nervous for the rest of his visit.)

    Time To Separate The Horse From The Goats

    | VA, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (We offer pony camps during the summer to kids wanting to learn to ride. We have very calm, safe horses to ride, and take all safety measures, but some parents are naturally worrisome.)

    Mom: “Those horses are awfully big… Don’t you have something smaller for my daughter?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I assure you, all of our horses are sweet. I’ve ridden all of them over my years here.”

    Mom: “I just think that they’re too big for her. Maybe something smaller? Like a miniature horse?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you can’t really ride a miniature horse…”

    Mom: “Oh! What about that one! It’s perfectly sized for her!”

    Me: “Uh… Ma’am… that’s a goat.”

    (At this point, the daughter was bright red. She ended up riding one of our largest horses and did awesomely. And poor Benny the goat didn’t have to worry!)

    All Meals Come Pre-Blessed

    , | USA | Family & Kids, Funny Names, Religion

    (At the restaurant I work at all of the employees names are written on a wall. A little girl around the age of six and her dad walk in. While waiting for their food she is reading the names out loud and spots the name Jesus.)

    Girl: “Daddy, look, they have Jesus working here! That’s so awesome. Now we don’t have to pray before this meal!”

    (Jesus got a chuckle out of this as the dad quickly explained it is a name pronounced ‘hey-Zeus.’)

    Baby Boa

    | PA, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a pet store in a large shopping mall. We sell pets and supplies. The customer in question is a well dressed woman in her late twenties.)

    Customer: “Do you sell rabbits?”

    Me: “Not year long; they are a seasonal item.”

    Customer: “Do you have any large rats or guinea pigs? I need to feed my snake and it is quite large.”

    Me: “Well, we do have some rats. Let me show them to you.”

    (I take the customer over to the enclosure with the rats.)

    Me: “Will any of these do?”

    Customer: “Well they are a little small. I will just buy two of them. The snake is probably really hungry since he escaped for a while and we just found him.”

    Me: “I am glad you got him back safe and sound. Was he gone for long?”

    Customer: “Yes he was missing for quite a while. In fact, he hasn’t even met the baby yet.”

    (I don’t know if it ever occurred to her that a missing snake large enough to eat a full grown rabbit could be a danger to her infant child!)

    The Sport Caught Her Short

    | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I work at a popular athletic clothing/sports equipment store.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss? I need some spandex shorts for my daughter. She’s joining volleyball.”

    (I am excited to help because it’s my favorite sport.)

    Me: “Of course! Let’s choose a color first. Black is the norm, but we also have red, a bunch of blues, and some lovely patterned ones.”

    Customer: “I’m just looking for black.”

    Me: “Sure. Does it matter what brand?”

    Customer: “I don’t think she’d care. What lengths do you have?”

    Me: “Two inches, three inches, and five inches are the regular lengths. We also have seven inches, but those are usually seen as too long.”

    Customer: *flabbergasted* “Only seven inches?! She’ll look like a whore!”

    Me: “Ma’am, five inches is quite enough cover. It’s about the same length as denim shorts. Seven inches goes a bit past the middle of the thighs.”

    Customer: *getting angry* “It doesn’t matter! They’re too short and tight!”

    Me: “No disrespect, ma’am, but have you considered signing your daughter up for a sport with a uniform that doesn’t include tight shorts? Like soccer, or basketball, maybe?”

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