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    Category: Family & Kids

    Mommy Money

    | NC, USA | Family & Kids, Money

    (A family comes into the gift shop where I work. A small boy starts tugging on his father’s sleeve.)

    Boy: “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

    Dad: “I’m not buying you anything.”

    (The boy pauses, and then rushes over to his mother.)

    Boy: “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!”

    Counting And Discounting

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (I’m a cashier at a place that sells small items of furniture, storage containers, and so on. We are having a 10% off sale. My last customer caused a huge amount of trouble due to getting angry and shouting over not understanding the difference between 10% and $10, so I’m feeling frazzled. A mother and her child, probably seven or eight, come up to my register and start unloading their items while they talk.)

    Mother: *to the kid* “Now, this container was $19.95, but we bought two, so how much is that?”

    Kid: “$39.90!”

    Mother: “Well done! But remember, there’s 10% off today. What’s 10% of $39.90?”

    Kid: “$3.99, so the real price would be… umm, $35.91?”

    Mother: “That’s right! Nicely done! But now here comes the hard one, so look out! I have my membership card!”

    (The child’s eyes widen. Membership cards give a further 25% discount.)

    Kid: “Okay, okay, umm…”

    Mother: “You can do it!”

    (By this time, I’ve scanned the items and bagged them. Just as I’m about to say the total, the child beats me to it.)

    Kid: “$26.93!”

    Mother: “Fantastic job! I think we get to stop at the playground on the way home!”

    Kid: “Yes!” *jumps up and down gleefully*

    (After my last customer, a fully grown man who couldn’t understand what a percentage was, I’m literally dumbfounded. In the end, I call my manager and we give the mother a further employee discount, which her child also worked out.)

    I-Scream For Someone To Listen

    , | Dublin, Ireland | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a customer in this story. I’m queuing for ice cream at a mini fast-food stand in a well-known flat-pack furniture shop. Ahead of me is a father and mother with two children, an older girl around 10 years old and a younger boy. The system is that you buy tokens and cones from a cashier, and then put the tokens in an ice cream machine to make your own soft-serve in the cones.)

    Cashier: “These cones are smaller than our usual ones. You have to wrap a napkin around them so the machine registers them. Okay?”

    Father: “Yeah, yeah.” *hands the stuff to his wife and she takes the kids to the ice-cream machine while he gets their furniture*

    Me: “One ice cream, please.”

    Cashier: “Sure.”

    (The cashier hands me my change, my token, and the cone, and repeats the information about the small cones and to be sure to use the napkin.)

    Me: “Okay, thank you!”

    (I follow the mother and children to the ice cream machine.)

    Mother: *repeatedly trying to use the machine* “What is wrong with this stupid machine?”

    Little Girl: “You have to wrap the napkin around the cone, mammy.”

    Mother: *ignoring child* “[Father], the machine isn’t working!”

    Father: *coming over* “Let me try.”

    Little Girl: “You put the napkin around the cone, daddy.”

    Father: *also ignoring child* “Piece of crap machine.”

    Little Girl: “Daddy, you have to put the napkin around the cone!”

    Father: *raising his voice, sarcastic* “I heard you the first time! Thank you for your input!”

    Mother: “Forget it.”

    (The father takes the tokens and cones back to get a refund, while the kids’ faces fall. The mother turns to me.)

    Mother: “The machine is broken. Don’t bother.”

    Me: “Are you sure? The–”

    Mother: “You’re seeing me walk away, aren’t you?”

    (The mother grabs the disappointed kids and stalks off to wait for the father. I step up, wrap the napkin around the cone, pop the token in the machine, and voila! Ice cream! I take the ice cream and go look for my own parents, and immediately walk past the waiting mother and children.)

    Little Boy: “Look, mammy. Why did hers work?”

    (Feeling bad for the kids, I walk off quickly so they don’t have to watch me eat my ice cream. I find my own parents, and we go to our car with our new furniture. As we’re walking, another car screeches out in front of us rudely and dangerously, and drives past: it’s the same family, and the smart, ignored little girl and the disappointed little boy both look out the window to see me still eating the delicious ice cream. Wherever you are, little girl, I hope your parents’ total lack of listening skills aren’t getting you down. You were right!)

    Dislocated Their Brain

    | ON, Canada | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geography

    (I’m the dumb customer in this one. My family and I are at a hardware store, and have discovered that they don’t have any more of the item we want. The salesperson is looking up if any other stores in the area have it.)

    Salesperson: “So [Location #1] has two, [Location #2] has six, and [Location #3] has sixteen.”

    Me: “What about [Location #4]?”

    Salesperson: “Um… that’s the location you’re in right now.”

    Mom: *to me* “Long day, honey?”

    Doesn’t Exactly Hook The Kiddies

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

    Customer: *holds up a copy of Nick Cave’s ‘The Death of Bunny Munro’* “Is this book for children?”

    Me: “That’s a dead prostitute on the cover.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “No, ma’am, it really isn’t.”


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