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    Category: Family & Kids

    Doesn’t Exactly Hook The Kiddies

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

    Customer: *holds up a copy of Nick Cave’s ‘The Death of Bunny Munro’* “Is this book for children?”

    Me: “That’s a dead prostitute on the cover.”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “No, ma’am, it really isn’t.”

    Argument Cut Short

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I am both a meat-cutter and a cook, and I’m known among regulars for being the best. Some people don’t know me, and therefore don’t trust my work because I’m female.)

    Customer: *on her phone* “Hi. Can I have half a pound of moist?”

    Me: “Absolutely!”

    (I cut a perfectly good, though darkened by smoke, piece.)

    Customer: *still on her phone* “That doesn’t look very moist.”

    (I decide this is no time for an argument and cut another half pound. I grab it and also grab a small piece of the previous half for her to taste, offering it upon arrival at register. The customer, who is STILL on her phone, tries it, nods approval, smiles, and gives me a thumbs up.)

    Me: “That’s the one you DIDN’T want.”

    Customer: *realizes she can’t reasonably turn down the second lot for the first* “You know, give me another half.”

    Me: “You want that one?” *points at the refused meat*

    Customer: “Yes,  Yes, please.”

    Me: “All right, no problem!”

    (Of the many times I’ve had someone complain about meat they never even tried, that was the first I’d ever managed to turn it around. I’ve gotta say, it made my day!)

    A Sizeable Lack Of Information

    | Gaithersburg, MD, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (On a slow evening, a customer comes in and immediately approaches me at the counter.)

    Me: “How are you this evening, ma’am? Is there anything I can help you find?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for sweater for my daughter.”

    Me: “Okay. What size is she in? And is the sweater for any particular occasion?”

    Customer: “Well, she’s petite and slim. Really small for her age.”

    Me: “Well, what size shirt does she wear?”

    (It’s really hard to sell to a customer when you don’t know what they are shopping for.)

    Customer: “She’s petite and small.”

    Me: “Well, how old is she?”

    Customer: “She is small for her age.”

    Me: “I understand that, but if I don’t know what size she is in, I can’t show you what I have available in that size.”

    Customer: “She is slender and petite.”

    (Giving up, I show her the only sweater I have in stock for girls.)

    Me: “Okay. I have this one here. It’s great for the spring time and can be dressed up or down depending on the occasion. The biggest it comes in is a 5T.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s too small.  She’s a size eight.”

    (The customer left the store telling me I should’ve known what size she was looking for.)

    Silver Linen To Every Cloud

    | USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

    (We have multiple very large groups staying with us, so all the extra bed sheets are taken up.)

    Guest: “My child threw up on the bed! I need new linens!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we have no more.”

    Guest: “Nonsense! You are supposed to help! It’s your job! Now fetch my linens and don’t be lazy about it!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not kidding. We don’t have any more. How am I supposed to get you some more linens when I don’t have what you need?”

    (The guest yells angrily, so I bring the manager out.)

    Manager: “What’s the problem?”

    Guest: “I’ll tell you what’s the problem! This hotel has no more linens! What kind of hotel has no more linens to give!”

    (My manager takes the angry guest out and walks with him someplace. When she returns, she is alone.)

    Me: “What happened?”

    Manager: “I showed him the lobby, which was full of people. I showed him the pool, which was full of people. Then I showed him the hallways, which were also full of people, and told him that every one of them has asked for linens and we ran out. He got real quiet, grunted, and then ran off to his room!”

    Bad Parenting Just Hit The Motherlode

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I am 16 years old and working at a local grocery store, collecting carts outside. I notice an man standing next to a van with its door wide open and two young girls inside. The man informs me that one of the girls is having a nosebleed, and I notice a puddle of blood on the ground.)

    Me: “Little girl, who are you here with?”

    Little Girl: “My mommy is in the store, but she leaves us in the car.”

    Me: “I’m going to go inside and look for her. What’s her name?”

    Little Girl: “Mommy.”

    Me: “Okay, uh, what’s your last name?”

    (The girl tells me and I go inside while a coworker goes out to watch the girls. I explain to another coworker at customer service what is going on and she pages the mother.)

    Coworker: *over the intercom* “Mrs. [Name], please report to the service desk.”

    (We wait for five minutes and no one shows up. My coworker pages again. Five more minutes pass and still nothing. The mother is paged a third time. 20 minutes after that, a HALF HOUR after the first page, a woman uses the self-checkout and then comes up to the desk asking what they want. They inform her of the situation.)

    Woman: “That little brat better have not bled on the car. She knows she’s supposed to lean out the window.”

    Me: *after a pause in utter disbelief* “Ma’am, you continued shopping while your child could be in need of medical attention?!

    Woman: “She does this all the time, but I know it’s just for attention. I’m not gonna miss a sale because of that.”

    (She left with my coworker and me staring at each other, open-mouthed with shock. I looked out the front window to see the man who originally noticed the girls yelling at her. Going outside to make sure there wasn’t a fight, we heard him yelling about protective services and writing down her license plate number as the woman jumped into her car and sped away.)


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