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    Category: Family & Kids

    Wouldn’t Want To Be In Their Shoes

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I work for the post office at their retail support. We take calls from our retail stores. Outside of every store there are postboxes. They are locked with a special key that only post office employees have. It’s a Saturday afternoon.)

    Me: “Welcome to retail support. You are talking to [My Name]. What can I help you with?”

    Caller: “Hi. It is [Name] from [Retail Store]. There are two guys here and they have a question. You see, they were fighting outside and one of them got so angry that he took the other person’s shoes and put them in the postbox. So, they wonder what we can do?”

    Me: “Excuse me… Did you just say someone put another person’s shoes in the postbox?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I know. I can’t stop laughing. One of the guys’ dads is here and wonders if there is anything we can do?”

    Me: “Yeah. I can send someone out to your store to open the postbox for them. But, since the customer himself has put something in the box that shouldn’t be there, they will be charged. Else they will have to wait till next time the box will be emptied.”

    Caller: “Okay. Wait a second.”

    (The employee gives the information to the customer and comes back to me.)

    Caller: “They say they will wait until Monday for it to get opened. Thank you for your help. Bye!”

    Me: *feeling confused* “Bye…”

    Coworker: “Did I just hear what I thought I heard?”

    Me: “Yep…”

    Credited Childsplay

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I work for a service that answers phones for TV commercials. One commercial in particular is giving us all fits! It is for a cup that freezes sweet liquids into slush-ice. The kids have been calling in, in DROVES, trying to get one. The offer is to be paid with a credit card and you have to be 18 or over to get it. This caller sounds like a five year old.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling for [Cup Product]! How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah. I wanna [Cup Product] thing.”

    Me: “Ma’am, do you have a credit card?”

    Caller: “Yeah. It’s 123456789.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but that is not a card number. How old are you?”

    Caller: “Uh… I’m a hundred.”

    Me: “Ma’am, please get your mommy to come to the phone. If you want a [Cup Product], you have to have an adult with a credit card.”

    Caller: *getting crafty* “Uh, well, I already ordered it an’ used my Mommy’s—uh, my card. So, you can send it. Okay?”

    Me: “Now look, honey… You need to have an ADULT come to the phone. Go get someone older.”

    Caller: “Okay.”

    (There is the sound of the receiver being put down, then instantly picked up again. I hear the same voice, now pitched much lower.)

    Caller: “Hello? This is my Daddy. Please send me the [Cup Product] thingy, please!”

    A Bad Hair Day

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (It is Christmas Eve. I have just finished a very difficult 13-hour shift, with a 2-hour commute to the small town I live just outside of. I am picking up milk. My hair is cropped short, and though I am very skinny, my uniform is shapeless except for the back brace I am wearing. As I get in line, a very drunk customer behind me turns to another customer.)

    Drunk Customer: “Can you believe this [lesbian slur]? Look at her! She can at least clean herself up before coming into our town! What a fat useless c***! She’s wearing a d*** girdle! Ha! That fat will melt right off when she goes to Hell!”

    (The drunk customer continues berating the way I look, and throwing insults over his shoulder. Finally I have had enough. I set my milk on the conveyor belt and spin around to face the man.)

    Me: “Let’s get a few things straight! First, this is a back brace, not a girdle! I wear it because I was born with a deformed pelvis and spine, and I can very easily paralyze myself with improper body mechanics. Secondly, I have been with my MALE fiancé for five years. But at least you are right about one thing. I would look a h*** of a lot better with my hair long. I used to have long, beautiful, full curls. So beautiful, in fact, my six-year-old niece would cry every time I visited her because she lost all of her hair when she started chemo for her leukemia. So for Christmas, I cut off all of my long feminine curls and have had them made into a wig so she doesn’t have to feel ugly when she goes to school. I just thank God she lives two towns over, because after what you’ve said about me, I can’t imagine what you and the rest of the people here like you would say to a sad, sick little girl!”

    (The next time I went back to pick up a few things, the manager approached me. It turned out the entire staff had donated to my niece’s cancer treatment!)

    Preorder Disorder, Part 2

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    (I work at a family style restaurant that offers free bread, salad, dessert, and tea or coffee with all entrees. One particular shift I’m notified I will be taking a birthday party of 15 kids, but they need to be out at a certain time for a movie. The group comes in 15 minutes past their reservation.)

    Mother: “Did you receive my preorder? I gave your manager our complete order so we can catch our movie on time.”

    Me: “Yes, I received it. The bread and waters are already on the table like you requested. I’m just about to bring out the salads, and the kitchen is already working on your order.”

    Mother: “Fine. But talk to the kids and see what else they want to drink. My son wants pop.”

    (She has me stand there reciting all of our drinks to the 15 boys multiple times, as they all choose different items. Before I walk away to make the drinks the mother speaks up.)

    Mother: “Excuse me? Why aren’t the salads out yet?”

    Me: “I was just going to get them before the boys needed more drinks. I didn’t see them on the preorder so they’ll have to be made now.”

    Mother: “You know we’re trying to catch a movie don’t you?!”

    (I quickly bring out the salads, and rush the drinks out to all the boys. Before I can go back to the kitchen to see how the meals are, I’m stopped again.)

    Mother: “As you know, we are in a rush, so my husband and I will have our teas right now. I prefer cream in my tea, my husband will take milk, but we want them both heated up.”

    Me: “Of course. I’ll be right back with them.”

    Mother: “Why haven’t you checked on our food yet?”

    (I go back to the kitchen and see the order is being finished. I have time to bring out the teas before I bring all of the food.)

    Me: “Here are your teas, and now I’ll go and get the meals.”

    Mother: “No, hold on. I want to order for me and my husband. We should eat something before the movie.”

    (It is a busy Saturday night, and the kitchen is backed up.)

    Mother: “We’ll have two steaks, medium, with a side of fries.”

    Me: “All right. I will put a rush on your order because I know you have to leave soon. But I should let you know steaks do take a bit longer to prepare.”

    Mother: “We ordered what we wanted! If we wanted something else we would have gotten that! Now where is their food?!”

    (I run back to the kitchen to place the rush order, and bring out the boys’ food. Everything is handed out and fine, when I’m approached again.)

    Mother: “This pesto linguine for my son is nut free, correct? It was on the preorder that he is deathly allergic!”

    (I know there was nothing on the preorder about an allergy, and even show her the paper she gave us. I take the pesto linguine away since, obviously, there are nuts in it, and get him something nut free immediately.)

    Mother: “You need to be more careful! He almost ate that!”

    (By the time the boys are finished eating, plus the parents, and I’ve given them their desserts, it’s the time they should have left. The mother comes up to me and starts freaking out about the movie time.)

    Mother: “I can’t believe how unprofessional you are. You knew we had a movie to catch!”

    (They all leave 15 minutes later, and the mother doesn’t leave me a tip on a $250 bill. She talks to my manager on the way out.)

    Manager: *to me* “Hey, I want to talk to you. Thanks for handling that table so well! She comes in every year for her son’s birthday and pulls that crap. Don’t take her personally. We’ve all had to deal with her here. I just can’t believe you didn’t break down like a few of us did!”

    (A few people in the lobby who have been waiting for a table witnessed some of her pleasantries, and were seated in my section afterwards. They tipped very, very generously after seeing me cater to her every whim!)

    Related:
    Preorder Disorder

    The Very Picture Of Ignorance

    | USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (My mother’s never worked in customer service, so she is sometimes rude without meaning to. She has a photography hobby, and lately she’s been taking pictures of people without asking first. We’re at the drive thru getting food when she suddenly pulls out her camera.)

    Me: “Mom, don’t—”

    Mom: *click*

    Cashier: *blinded by the flash*

    Me: *to cashier* “Um, I’m sorry about that. Mom, you’re supposed to ask first, not just take a picture!”

    Mom: “It’s okay. People love to get pictures taken of them! I’m like a paparazzi! They feel like celebs!”

    Me: “No, they don’t. It’s rude!”

    Cashier: *rubbing eyes* “Here’s your food.” *hands over food*

    (My mom drove off without an apology and I saw, in the rearview mirror, the poor cashier still rubbing his eyes. Sorry, poor cashier!)


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