July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Family & Kids

Rated ‘M’ For Mother

| PA, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Top

(I decide to stop at my favorite video game store at the mall the very day that the final entry to an insanely popular video game trilogy is released. It’s reasonably crowded due to this and nearly everyone in the store is purchasing this game.)

Customer #1: *speaking loud enough that half the store can hear her over the chatter* “This is the game he wants?”

Customer #1’s Husband: “Yeah. He has the other two, so I told him we’d get it.”

Customer #1: “What’s this rated?” *she looks at the back* “There’s blood and violence in this! I’m not buying our son a murder simulator! He’s going to think it’s okay to shoot people!”

(That part of the store gets quiet quickly and everyone who heard what had been said turns to look at her, some of them holding a copy of the game of which she was referring.)

Customer #2: “Ma’am, I respect your decision not to buy your son something you feel is inappropriate for him and applaud you for looking into things before you buy them for him, but I’d like to point out that it’s generally not a good idea to vocally imply a room full of strangers are murderers for liking a game.”

Customer #1: “Oh… um… sorry…”

(She couldn’t have gotten out of there quick enough. The rest of the store laughed and things quickly went back to normal. A few minutes later, her husband comes back to buy the game.)

Employee: “Oh, are you the one who was in here with that woman earlier? You’re buying this for your son, right? I trust you’re already aware that this game is rated ‘M.'”

Customer #1’s Husband: “Yeah. You don’t have to give me the spiel about that, though. She forgot that he’s 23…”

700 Reasons To Get Grounded

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Family & Kids, Money, Transportation

(I’m a manager at a fairly large automotive repair. I am in my office the day after Christmas, and I hear an angry customer yelling at one of my workers. I came out and take over.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “I just had my car here to get a brake job done at this shop. When I got my car back nothing had been done.”

Me: “Okay, sir, let me pull up your information so I can see what all was done. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, and I’ll do my best to solve this for you.”

Customer: “She already tried to pull up my information. She said I’m not in the system, but I know I’m in there.”

(I get him to give me his information, have him look at the screen to make sure it was all correct. Sure enough he isn’t in the system.)

Customer: “No! I know my car is in your system. My son brought it in to get worked on.”

(I get the information for his son, and still no car in the system.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we have no record of any work being done on your vehicle.”

Customer: “That’s BS! My son brought in my car just yesterday to get the work done. It cost me $700!”

Me: “Sir, we were closed yesterday for Christmas. No one was here. There is no way we could have done the work on your car.”

Customer: “Then why did I have to give my son $700 for the wor…”

(All I could do was shrug as I watched him piece things together and realize that his son had probably spent $700 on something else.)

Babying The Customers

| LA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I used to own a small shop that made custom t-shirts. I am now retired… Customers like this one are one of the reasons:)

Customer: *holding up a child’s tee shirt* “Do you think this will fit my baby?”

Me: *looking around, no child in sight* “Sure. Perfect fit.”

God Loves Little Boys Who Stand Up For Others

| Bath, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

(I and my seven-year-old son are shopping for a birthday present for a girl in his class. She’s asked for dressing up clothes or accessories so we get a wand, tiara, and jewellery. I also have our regular shopping in the trolley. We get to the tills and there’s at least a three person queue at each till. We join a queue and have waited a couple of minutes when my son puts the tiara on and waves the wand.)

Son: *in a “posh” voice* “I’m the Queen and I say this line should move faster!”

(I and a few others smile at his playfulness when a man in line at the next till yells at me.)

Man: “You can’t let your son do that. If he turns into a f****t it’ll be your fault.”

(Everyone stops and stares at him in horror whilst the cashiers call for a manager.)

Son: “What’s a f****t?”

Me: “It’s a nasty word that only nasty people use so you mustn’t say it.”

Man: “It means gay, kid.”

Son: “What’s gay?”

Man: “It means you’re bad and going to Hell for being evil.”

Me: “It’s when a man loves a man and a lady loves a lady.”

Son: “Oh, like Uncle James and Uncle Ian?”

Me: “Yep, just like Uncle James and Uncle Ian. They’re not bad, are they?”

(My brother is a paediatric oncologist and his partner is a paediatric nurse. We’ve tried to explain what cancer is and how my brother and his partner make children feel better when they’re poorly.)

Son: “My uncles make children better when they have poorly blood and poorly bones. If you make them go to Hell that means you want the children to be poorly.”

(The manager and a security guard turn up but my son looks this man in the eye and holds his stare.)

Son: “Do you want the children to be poorly? Do you want them to be sick and have to go to Heaven?”

(Everyone is now staring at my son. The man has gone red and is looking around.)

Manager: “Sir, I believe you’ve just been outwitted by a child. You should leave now and keep your disgusting views to yourself and out of my shop.”

(The manager offered to pay for our shopping but I declined. He did, however, offer my son a toy. He chose a dress for his friend’s present.)

Related:
God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others

Email Fail, Part 3

| ON, Canada | Family & Kids, Technology

(An older man is with a boy about the age of eight. I assume it’s his grandson.)

Me: “Would you like to sign up to have our coupons emailed to you?”

Customer: “No, thanks.”

Me: “Okay.”

Grandson: “He doesn’t even have Internet! Slow down with the emails!”

Related:
Email Fail, Part 2
Email Fail

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