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    Category: Family & Kids

    A Bit Carefree With The Free Care

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Top

    (I work in the play area at a popular furniture store. Parents are allowed to drop their children off for one hour, provided they sign an information form stating all their information, and that the person signing them in will be the person signing them out. A lady comes up to me with her children.)

    Me: “Hi, ma’am, welcome to [furniture store].”

    Customer: *grunts and shoves form at me*

    Me: “As you are the person who signed this, you will be the only one able to sign your children out. You have one hour for which you have to remain in the store. Here is your pager which we will page when your time is up.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I get it, okay!”

    (The customer then walks off before I can even get her children in the door. Three hours go by, and she doesn’t return, which is far beyond her allotted one hour. We have paged her, sent overhead pages throughout the store, and phoned her cellphone number over twenty times and left numerous voicemails. After contacting the police, we phone her one more time; she finally she picks up.)

    Customer: “Hello?”

    Me: “Ma’am, where have you been? You’re children are still here and we have been unable to contact you.”

    Customer: “Well, I went to work.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is NOT a daycare service. We informed you that you had one hour.”

    Customer: “The man said I could leave them there for as long as I want!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there are only women working here and I was the one who signed you in. I can assure you, no man said you could abandon your children here.”

    Customer: “No, the man walking around in the store!”

    Me: “So, you asked a random man if you could abandon your children here?”

    Customer: “Yes! So, I can get my mom to come pick them up?”

    Me: “Sorry, but the person who signed them in is the only one who can sign them out.”

    Customer: “WHAT THE H***?! What the f*** is wrong with you people?! I’m at work trying to make a living!”"

    Me: “Ma’am, we are trying to protect your children from being picked up by strangers. If you don’t get here within 15 minutes, I’m calling child social services.”

    (She showed up in 5.)

    Ah, Parents, Part 3

    | Upstate NY, USA | Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a popular cellphone retailer. On this day, a customer comes in with her 8-year-old son; he is severely misbehaving.)

    Me: “Welcome to [retailer]. What may I help you with?”

    Customer: “I want to upgrade my phone.”

    (Meanwhile, her son is running around, touching every phone and even throwing things on floor.)

    Me: “Not a problem. Let’s see what we can do today.”

    (Her son continues to cause chaos, but I’m trying my best to ignore him.)

    Me: “Well, we have great sales going on—”

    (Suddenly, her son trips the security alarm on the phone. Knowing he’s done something wrong, he turns to me in fear.)

    Me: *to her son* “Now, you have to go to jail. The police are on their way, and your mom will have to pay three weeks of your allowance to bail you out.”

    Customer: *whispers to me* “Thank you…”

    (The customer’s son never left his mom’s side after that. She even gave me a customer satisfaction of all 10s!)

    Related:
    Ah, Parents, Part 2
    Ah, Parents

    Blowing Things Out (And Up) Of Proportion

    | CA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Top

    (When I was in 7th grade, I volunteered at a local library. My main job was to gather books for pull lists. One day when I’m checking in some books and filling out sending forms, a man and his daughter walk up to my computer. Note: the scanner I am using beeps every time I scan a book.)

    Daughter: “Why is it making that beeping sound, Daddy?”

    Father: “I don’t know. Maybe she’s checking them in.”

    Daughter: “Really?”

    Father: “No. I think she’s going to steal them.”

    (I look up, confused, and I’m about to interject when the father walks over to the head librarian’s door.)

    Me: “Um, sir?”

    Father: “Quiet, thief!” *knocks on the librarians door*

    Head Librarian: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Father: “That girl over there, who is clearly not authorized to run those machines, was stealing your books!”

    Me: “I was checking them out to put them into the send boxes.”

    Father: “No! I clearly saw you stuff books into your pockets!”

    Coworker: “Sir, she doesn’t have any pockets.”

    Father: “I meant down her shirt!”

    (Note: I am wearing a tight fitting shirt. If so much as a piece of paper had been under my shirt, it would have been very visible. Needless to say, there are clearly no books under my shirt.)

    Father: “Fine! If you don’t believe me, I’m calling the cops!”

    Head Librarian: “Sir, she was not stealing books! Please do not call the police!”

    (The father ignores the head librarian and proceeds to dial the police anyway. The operator on the other end of the phone is speaking loud enough for us to hear.)

    Father: “Excuse me, I’d like to report a girl stealing books at the ***** Library.”

    Operator: “Sir, are you a member of the library staff?”

    Father: “No, but I saw it happen!”

    Operator: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but—”

    Father: “…and she planted a bomb!”

    Me: “What?!”

    Operator: *sighs audibly* “Right. We’ll send a bomb squad…”

    (Five minutes later, there is indeed a bomb squad outside the library doors. They end up having to clear out the library, search me, and go through the entire library with bomb-dogs.)

    Daughter: *to her father* “How come you said she planted a bomb? She didn’t!”

    (When the police heard that, they arrested the father. I got a week off.)

    There’s No Upright Way To Raise A Child

    | USA | Family & Kids

    (My friend and I are sitting outside a store when we see a teenage girl chasing a little boy.)

    Teenage Girl: “Get back here, kid! I’m not your freakin’ mother!”

    Little Boy: “Can’t catch me!”

    (The teenage girl catches the little boy a few feet away by the back of the shirt and picks him up. She then proceeds to walk back towards the store, smiling at us while carrying the boy upside down.)

    Teenage Girl: “Nothing to see here. Cute shoes!”

    And The Nerds Shall IPO The Earth

    | CA, USA | Family & Kids

    (A customer and her 7-year-old son approach me in the electronics department. The son has some video game and video game memorabilia in his hands.)

    Customer: *to her son* “Why do you want to buy that crap?” *to me* “I pray that he doesn’t grow up to be a nerd. I just wish he would color his hair and get some tattoos.”

    Me: “Nothing wrong with nerds.”

    Lady: *scoffs* “Let’s just hope it’s just a phase!”


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