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  • Category: Family & Kids

    Cooking Up A Storm

    | MD, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

    (A confused woman and her child, about nine years old, approaches the counter.)

    Customer: “Whole lot of people here today, isn’t there? Never seen it so busy.”

    Me: “We get quite a crowd for Black Friday sale, yeah.”

    Customer: *confused* “Black Friday?”

    Me: “Retail nickname for the day after Thanksgiving.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know, but that’s today? Yesterday was Thanksgiving?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: *looks down at her daughter* “Why didn’t you tell me it was Thanksgiving? Your grandmother is going to have my hide for missing dinner!”

    (The sweet looking little kid looks back and smiles.)

    Daughter: “Well, nana’s cooking sucks anyway.”

    Careless Carers

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in a large retail center, and we are highly understaffed. I work in the outdoor department, and stop to help a caretaker with a child; they’re looking for a baseball glove.)

    Me: “Hello, do you need some help?”

    Caretaker: “I’m just trying to get this d*** kid to wear this glove.”

    Me: “…Excuse me?!”

    Caretaker: “Yeah, I work as this brat’s caretaker, and he won’t put his hands in the glove.”

    (I lean down to help the child, speaking softly and quietly, as he seems frightened. This only seems to enrage the caretaker further.)

    Caretaker: “How dare you, b****… talking s*** to him about me?! You’re a d*** stupid loser and that’s why you work here!”

    Me: “Pardon me, ma’am, I wasn’t talking about you. And please, don’t call me stupid; you do not know me.”

    Caretaker: “Why do you work here if you’re not an idiot?”

    Me: “I’m still working on my RN, so I can be more than a caretaker with a nasty attitude.”

    (The caretaker walks away, still cussing at the child. I call security and ask them to follow her and be sure she doesn’t hurt the boy. Meanwhile, I am called up front to work on the register. Of course, the same caretaker is in line.)

    Caretaker: “Hurry it up, b****! I spend my hard earned money on these groceries. Don’t waste my time.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am… your total is $100.67.”

    Caretaker: “Here. Use my food stamps.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am.”

    Caretaker: “Unless you’re too f***ing dumb to know how to do that.”

    (I finish ringing her up, but before she pushes her cart away, two sheriffs walk up and place handcuffs on her. Unbeknownst to me, she had, in fact, struck the child after I dealt with her the first time.)

    How Sweet It Is To Be In Line By You

    | KY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (My three-year-old daughter and I are waiting to check out with a few odds and ends. Unfortunately, the store has only one lane open and several people are waiting in line. I don’t mind, as my daughter and I decide to pass the time playfully sword-fighting with paint stirrers. When I turn to the side, I notice the couple behind me has just one little ream of Post-Its.)

    Me: *to the couple behind me* “Would you like to go ahead of us? You’ve got much fewer items than we do!”

    Lady: “But…you have a kid!”

    Me: “It’s fine! We’re just playing together! Go ahead!”

    Lady: “But kids sometimes get bored of waiting. Are you sure?”

    Me: “Of course! You just have one thing! She’ll be fine; I promise! C’mon, go ahead!” *I scoot aside*

    Lady: “Wow! Thanks!”

    (When it’s time for them to check out, the man holds up his hand to the cashier.)

    Man: “I’ll be right back!”

    (He scrambles over to the next aisle and picks up a package of M&Ms to add to the order. After paying, the man turns around with the package of candy and hands it to my daughter.)

    Man: “Here you go, kiddo!” *to me* “Thanks again for letting us go ahead of you!”

    (It really put a smile on the cashier’s face…and ours too!)

    Gamers Have To Band Together

    | NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (A demo for Rock Band has been set up at the electronics store I work at. I hang around the game section to answer questions and help out. I see two kids, about 8 or 9, who are playing the guitars on easy, while a very pregnant lady is playing drums. I assume they’re all together until another woman storms up.)

    Woman: *to the boys* “I told you not to play these games! They’re bad for you!” *turns to the pregnant lady* “You’re setting a bad example! Don’t you know how horrible video games are for kids?! Your poor child!”

    Pregnant Lady: *smiling, but not stopping* “Actually, music proficiency is linked to having advantages in math and study skills and video games, and when used correctly can instill time management and problem solving skills.” *does a difficult drum riff* “If my ‘poor child’ does half as well as his gamer parents, he’ll have at least two degrees, and a successful medical career.”

    (The pregnant lady finishes the song, scores 90% on expert, and gets up. She smiles and leaves the demo. I held up my fist on the way out and she fist-bumped me. The other woman couldn’t pull her two kids away fast enough.)

    Not All Visitors Stink

    | Panama City Beach, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at the snack shack at my local zoo one summer. We have a huge group of middle-school aged kids in the park, and their supervisor has all 75+ of them come to the shack at once for lunch. I have been serving for about forty-five minutes when this happens.)

    Kid #1: “Can I get a water and a hot dog for five dollars?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (I ring him up, take his money, and give him the water. I’ve turned around to get the hotdog and am just coming back when I hear a shriek.)

    Me: “What happened?”

    Kid #1: “I don’t know.” *grabs hot dog and walks off*

    (I try to calm the kids down, and just when they’re in a line again, I smell an powerful odor; it’s obviously what caused the shriek.)

    Me: “Someone set off a stink bomb. One second…”

    (I radio the front so they know, but there are other groups in the park and it’s not an immediate danger, so it’s still just me.)

    Kid #2: “Yeah. I want to know who it is so we can get them later.”

    Me: “Here’s your order. So, someone decided to set off a stink bomb right where you all are getting and eating food?”

    Kid #3: “Pretty much. I want a cheeseburger and a soda.”

    Me: *still serving* “…In a place full of animals with a great sense of smell, like the bears and mandrills behind me?”

    Kid #4: “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out and beat them up for you!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s sweet.”

    (I keep serving for about another ten minutes when I again hear a shriek; this time, it turns into hysterical screaming. I look and see that one of the parrots has been spooked off his perch, and, for some reason, several kids are screaming since he’s on the ground near them. I grab the radio and tell the keepers, but put up my “Back in Five Minutes” to calm the screaming kids down..)

    Me: *to the screaming kids* “It’s okay. Just back away from the macaw, kids. He’ll be fine; you’ll be fine. Just back up.”

    (The kids do so, and a keeper prepping for the wolf show runs over to put the bird back.)

    Me: “Thanks.”

    Keeper: “No problem. Hang in there…”

    (The keeper has just left when I hear yet another kid yell.)

    Another Kid: “Leave him alone!”

    (I turn to see some kids spooking our white peacock; this other kid, a girl, is trying to protect it.)

    Me: “Oh for the love of… that is the head keeper’s personal favorite animal! Desist!”

    (The kids break up, apparently snickering at my use of the word ‘desist’. I get back into the shack.)

    Kid #6: “Yay, you’re back. Um, a hot pretzel and soda.”

    (After I serve him, I see Kids #2 and #3; they’ve come back with a large group. To my surprise, the kids proceed to empty all the change I’ve given them into the donation jar.)

    Kid #2: “Sorry it’s been so crazy. I swear we’re not all that bad!”

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