Category: Family & Kids

Call The Missing Parent’s Hotline

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Money

(I am the manager of the admission desk at a museum. While I am serving a client, a woman and her two kids (around 10 and 12 years old) enter the museum and try pass by the admission desk. I politely tell her to wait just one moment while I’m taking care of the client in front of me. I then ask her if I could help her.)

Woman: “Yes, I’m here for the free activity for my kids.”

(Our museum holds a workshop for kids each Sunday where they can do arts and crafts, themed with our current exhibitions.)

Me: “Of course, the workshop is one floor below. Kids 12 years old and under are always free and right now, we offer a 25% discount on the regular entrance fee. So, for one adult, it will come to [price].”

Woman: “I thought it was free!”

Me: “It is free for kids 12 and under. But as I said, we offer a 25% discount on the regular adult rate. Also, each kid visiting our museum will receive a free bag with other games they can do in our regular exhibitions.”

Woman: “No, no, no. I went on [Website that isn’t ours] and they say the workshop is free for families.”

Me: “I am so sorry, madam, but, unfortunately, while it is actually free for the kids, adults have to pay.”

Woman: “Well, then, I’ll leave my kids to you and be back in half an hour.”

Me: “Madam, I am really sorry but a responsible adult must stay with the kids at all time. By law, they cannot stay alone in our facility.”

Woman: “Why not? Just take care of them. Make them do the workshop. What’s so difficult about it?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we do not have the accreditations to do so. The volunteer in charge of the activity is not trained to take care of your kids… just to explain the activity and how it works. We need you to stay with your kids.”

Woman: “But the website says that it is free!”

Me: “I’m sorry but that website was wrong. It is, indeed, free for kids but not for adults.”

Woman: “It is false advertising!”

Me: “Actually, if you check our official website, it clearly state that parents need to pay. We do not have control on what other website posts. I will gladly take the website name again so I can make sure that the information they have is the right one.”

Woman: “That website says it is free, so you have to let me come for free!”

Me: “We cannot be held responsible for what other websites put online. Again, if you check our website—”

Woman: “Well, I don’t care. Why are you not taking my kids, then? We came here because [Other Website] said it was free! I’m from [Town about 20 minutes from here] and we took public transit, which cost money. I don’t have money for this.”

Me: “I understand your frustration, madam. I really do. Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do except make sure that [Other Website] stops posting false information about our workshop.”

Woman: “Just take the kids, then. They can do the workshop. They’ll behave.”

Me: “Again, madam, that is impossible. The staff is neither qualified or trained to do it.”

Woman: “Why not?”

Me: “Just for the purpose of this, if your kids have allergies—”

Woman: “My kids don’t have any allergies!”

Me: “That is not the point. If something, ANYHTHING, happens to your kids, we don’t have the staff or the infrastructures to help them. That is why, when you want to register you kids for school, day camp, summer camp, you have all of those contracts to sign.”

Woman: “This is insane. You are not giving me a good customer service. I leave my kids alone all the time. Even at the grocery store! I leave them while I do other errands. There is nothing wrong with that! I want to speak with the manager.”

Me: “Actually, I am the one in charge of the admission.”

Woman: “Well, there must be someone more important in charge.”

Me: “There is, but the offices are closed during weekends. Do you want me to provide you with the phone numbers and names of the people in charge so you can contact someone?”

(I gave her all the names and phone numbers needed and she left saying that she was going to report me for not letting her kids stay unsupervised! You know what the worst part was? This was not the first time! We had to call the police because a couple left their kids at the museum while they went to a restaurant! They were absent for more than an hour. Thank god the police officer was on our side! We also had a woman who left her infant child alone so she could go shopping. In both these cases, none of the parents claimed to know what was wrong…)

Music Went From Lucky To Sucky

| GA, USA | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem, Tourists/Travel

(I DJ at a theme park that has a built in water park. I am happily jamming to ‘Get Lucky’ by Daft Punk by the wave pool when a guest approaches my DJ booth.)

Customer: “Excuse me, ma’am, who makes the play list for the water park?”

Me: “I do, sir, but all the songs on my laptop have been pre-approved by upper management.”

Guest: “Well I have my eight-year-old with me, and she is asking what ‘get lucky’ means. What do you expect me to tell her?!”

Me: “I’m not sure, sir. I am very sorry my music selection has offended you. I didn’t mean any harm.”

Guest: *harumph* “I am taking this to upper management!”

(The man proceeds to tell my supervisor, who talks him out of taking his complaint any further by promising the song will be deleted and no longer played.)

Supervisor: *to me* “Meh, I like that song. If he was smart he would have just told his kid the song meant winning the lottery or something.”

(The rest of the time that particular guest was there, I played super safe things like The Beach Boys. But after that day, I have continued to play that song regularly.)

Doesn’t Always Take Practise, Practise, Practise…

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem, Tourists/Travel

(My grandfather and I are taking a tour of a world-famous opera house many years ago when this happens:)

Tour Guide: “And now, we are in the stage area, where—”

Grandfather: *singing* “La la la la la!”

Tour Guide: “What was that, sir?”

Grandfather: “Now I can say I sang on stage at [Famous Opera House]!”

Out Of Control (Alt) Delete

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling Tech Support. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Elderly Woman: “I need you to delete a website!”

Me: *thinking she means she wants to cancel her account with us* “Okay, ma’am, I can help you with that. Can I have the name of your website so I can look up the account?”

Elderly Woman: “I don’t know the name! It’s got that Satanic Marilyn Manson on it! HE HAS SEX WITH SHEEP!”

Me: *stunned* “Umm, is this a website you own?”

Elderly Woman: “No, he has sex with sheep! I need you to hit the button and delete him from the Internet!”

Me: “If this is a website that’s not on our servers, there’s no way I can delete it.”

Elderly Woman: “Just hit the button!”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you.”

(Someone else picks up the phone, a much younger sounding man, presumably the woman’s son or adult grandson.)

Younger Man: “Can you just hit the button and delete the website so she won’t have to worry about it?”

Me: *guessing that I have to play along* “Umm, sure, I’ll see what I can do.”

(The man hands the phone back to the elderly woman.)

Elderly Woman: “He has SEX WITH SHEEP!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’ll hit the button and delete it from the Internet.”

Elderly Woman: “Oh, thank you! He’s the Devil! *hangs up*

Talking Non-scents

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(It’s a couple months after the winter holidays and I’m working self-scan check-outs. My store offers everything from food to electronics. A woman flags me over to her self-scan.)

Customer: “These scented candles are supposed to be on clearance.”

(The candles are scented gingerbread. Holiday items are extremely discounted and the candles are clearly ringing up at full price.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, let me fix that for you.”

(I begin to fix the price on the six or so candles she’s buying as she begins to bag up the rest of her items. She comes up to me a moment later.)

Customer: “Have you smelled these? They smell awful. You would think they would smell better.”

Me: “No, I haven’t smelled them.”

Customer: *offers a candle* “You should smell them.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Go ahead. Smell it.”

Me: *reluctantly taking a whiff* “I really don’t smell anything at all, ma’am. Do you not want the candles if they smell bad?”

Customer: “Oh, no, I still want them.” *she bags the rest up*

(I finish changing the prices and help her finish bagging. My thoughts still turn to the candles.)

Me: “Why are you buying them if you think they smell bad?”

Customer: “Because they’re on clearance! You can’t pass up on these prices!”

(I know customers like this who feel strongly about deals but I’m still stuck on why she would still want so many even though she clearly doesn’t like the smell.)

Me: “But what will you do with them?”

Customer: *pause* “I think I’ll give them to my sister… I don’t really like her either.”

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