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    Category: Family & Kids

    Children Can Man-age To Listen

    , | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m a female-to-male transgender person who is not on hormones yet; despite this, I don’t have much of a problem with pronoun mistakes. The customer I have is a middle-aged woman and her young son, about six or seven.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How are you today?”

    Woman: “I’m good.” *to her son* “Tell the lady what you want!”

    Son: “Momma, that’s a man.”

    Woman: “Shhh! Don’t say that! You’ll make her feel bad.”

    Me: “Actually, he’s right. I am a boy.”

    Woman: *ignoring me* “I can see why you’re confused, though.” *to me* “You need to start wearing makeup or something. My son is getting confused!”

    Me: “Ma’am, your son is correct.”

    Woman: *still ignoring what I’m saying* “And would it kill you to grow your hair out? Everyone’s going to think that you’re a lesbian!”

    Me: *getting fed up* “Ma’am. I. Am. A. Man.”

    Woman: “Why didn’t you say so?”

    Son: “He did. You didn’t listen, mommy.”

    Me: “Look, it’s not really a big deal. It happens all the time—”

    Woman: “Then grow some facial hair or something! I can’t tell what you are!”

    Me: “Um…”

    Son: “Mommy, stop being stupid!”

    (The son said his order and they checked out. The woman was completely silent after the son’s comment and she booked it out of the store.)

    Pet Owners Should Not Be Airheads

    | USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes in with her eight-year-old son. The fish are in small, plastic cups for the customers to view.)

    Son: “Mommy! Look at the fishies!”

    Customer: *looks at fish* “How nice.”

    Son: “Can I get one?”

    Customer: “Sure. Pick a fish, and let’s go.”

    (They come to the counter, holding a fish.)

    Son: “But, mommy, doesn’t he need a tank, and filter?”

    Customer:  ”No, don’t be silly. He can live in the cup.”

    Son: “But he needs a filter for air!”

    Customer:  ”Don’t be so ridiculous. He’s a fish. He doesn’t need air. He breathes water.”

    Me: “Actually, he’s right. This kind of fish needs at least a two gallon tank to live in, as well as a filter, gravel, and food.”

    (The customer storms out with her son, mumbling about how we were ‘being stupid.’)

    Fingers Crossed You’ll Find A Solution

    | RetailProvidence, RI, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (It’s been a long night and our store has given its 15 minute alert for customers to check out before we close the registers. I work in the children’s department and am watching a boy about eight years of age standing at the underwear display looking around nervously and fidgeting.)

    Boy’s Mother: *walks over* “What are you doing?”

    Boy: *whispers something, causing his mother to go red in the face*

    Mother: “Are you SERIOUS? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Do you have any common sense at ALL?!”

    (The boy hangs his head as his mother takes a breath. I turn to leave thinking he confessed a wrongdoing to his mom so it wasn’t my business. I’m stopped by a tap on the shoulder.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

    Mother: “I’m sorry to bug you, but… my son’s finger is stuck in a hole in the display.”

    Me: “Really?”

    Mother: “Yes, sorry about that.”

    Me: *lifting up my walkie talkie* “[Boss]? I have a little boy with his finger stuck in the underwear display… It’s turning purple and I need assistance.

    Boss: “Very funny.”

    Me: *seriously* “No… really.”

    Boss: “Oh, GOD!”

    (Half the store and both managers came to help. It took a mixture of butter substitute, hand sanitizer, and neosporin to save the finger!)

    Sadly This Job Isn’t Child’s Play

    | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I work in an arcade, which also has a kids’ gym. Right by the only entrance and exit, there is a sign which clearly says that employees are not babysitting the area, and that kids may leave without parents. However, I do try and keep the younger kids from leaving without supervision. One day I let two younger boys out to use the bathroom. Less than a minute later, their mother comes up to me.)

    Mother: “Did you see my two sons leave?!”

    Me: “Yes, I let them run to the bathroom.”

    Mother: “WHAT?! Why would you let them out?! One of them is only two!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s not my job to watch your kids.”


    Me: “Ma’am, please stop yelling. I did ask where they were going, and made sure they knew where the bathrooms were. I also checked that they went in the right direction.”

    Mother: “You still shouldn’t let them out!”

    An Ocean Of Reasons To Kick Them Out

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a famous English theme park, specifically in the sea life centre. As part of my job I supervise the rock pools where customers can touch and feel starfish, cleaning shrimp, crabs etc. The customer has been standing with his child with his hands in the rock pool for a good ten minutes, despite the queue behind him.)

    Customer: “Can these shrimp live out of the water, then?”

    Me: “It is quite dangerous for them to be taken out of the water for long, sir.”

    Customer: “What about the starfish?”

    Me: “They also should be left in the water at all times.”

    Customer: “Can my son hold one?”

    Me: “He can hold them under the water, sir, but we don’t permit guests taking the sea life away from the water. He can also let the cleaner shrimp clean his hands under the water, but they can’t be taken out either.”

    (The customer and his son completely ignore what I just said and grab a starfish, holding it in the air.)

    Me: “Sir, I’ll need you to put that starfish back in the water! You really can’t take the sea life out of the water, and although you’re more than welcome to come and queue again the other customers are waiting their turn.”

    (The customer mutters to his son while laughing, despite the fact that I can clearly hear them.)

    Customer: “Get a shrimp, d***-head!”

    (The next thing I know the boy has walked away practically crushing a cleaner shrimp in his hand. It took me and three other co-workers to escort the now swearing man and his not-so-pleasant son out of the sea life centre. And yes, the little boy killed the poor cleaner shrimp.)

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