November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Family & Kids


| St. Louis, MO, USA | Family & Kids, History, Pets & Animals, Religion

(I work as an educator in a science museum in St. Louis. One of the activities in my section of the museum involved putting together the cast of a Dromaeosaurus skeleton.)

Eight-Year-Old Boy: “I know why this dinosaur died.”

Me: “You do?”

Eight-Year-Old Boy: “He was a smoker.”

(Later that day, a middle school group is passing by…)

Seventh-Grade Girl: *addressing her peers* “This dinosaur died because he didn’t believe in Jesus.”

Literally Scream For More Ice Cream

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(At the library I volunteer for, we have a “Reading Event” in the summer for the kids. My job is to hand out one ice cream to each child. Throughout the course of the day, one of the younger boys decides to hang around me to keep me “company.” Another kid comes up to me.)

Me: *hands ice cream to kid* “Enjoy and have a great summer!”

Child: *nods his head, then reaches to grab another ice cream from my cooler*

Me: *I tug the cooler away from him* “Sorry, but it’s only one-per-person.”

Child: “That’s not fair!” *the child begins to stomp his feet on the ground and basically throw a fit*

(At this point a woman I can only assume is the boy’s mother rushes over.)

Woman: “What on Earth do you think you’re doing to my son!”

Me: *trying to stay calm* “Nothing, ma’am! I was just telling him he could only have one ice cream!”

Woman: “Nonsense! He’s my baby and he deserves as many as he wants!”

Me: “Miss, please, I can’t give him more than one ice cream; it’s one of the rules!”

Woman: “But—”

(At this point the younger boy hanging around me decides to pipe up:)


(Both the woman, the child, and I all stared at the younger boy in shock. The lady began to look sheepish and dragged her son out of the library. And without saying anything, I handed the unopened ice cream the kid left behind in their haste to leave, to my favorite “little helper.”)

Labelled As A Liar

| USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a popular smoothie shop. We normally don’t have a lot of problems with customers who have food allergies, but today a woman and her son come in who seem to be difficult to please.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Smoothie Shop]. How are you doing today?”

Customer: “Fine.”

Me: “What can I get for you today?”

(In an all of a sudden rude tone:)

Customer: “MY KID IS PB FREE!” *yes, she says ‘PB’ instead of peanut butter*

Me: “No problem. I will be happy to clean all our appliances and use our peanut butter free blender.”

Customer: “Ok, fine. I’ll have [Popular Drink].”

Me: “Perfect. Your total is $4.99.”

(She hands me cash and I proceed to make her drink. I grab a blender from the back that is never exposed to any of our other products. As I’m making her drink she yells.)

Customer: “THAT’S NOT PB FREE!”

(I try to assure her it is.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is. Although it isn’t labelled it is a peanut butter free blender.”


(She causes a horrible commotion, and continues to yell at me, telling me that I’m incompetent. So I run to the back, get our label maker that we make name tags with, and label the same exact blender PB Free. I come back, show her the blender, and proceed to make her drink.)

Customer: “Finally! You understand my son’s needs.”

(I give her the drink and tell her to have a nice day.)

Son: “Mom, but I’m not even allergic to—”

Customer: “SHUT UP!”

Please Do Not Be Fed By The Customers

| CA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

(I am a senior barn helper/junior instructor at a riding stable for children on the autism spectrum. One rider’s mother is dropping off her daughter and brings some food for the horses, including a large bag of apricots, which are bad for horses, and gourds, which are also not good for horses.)

Mother: *to daughter* “See, you just give them the apricots like this!”

Me: “Um, I don’t think apricots are really good for horses. Especially the pits.”

Mother: *gesturing to stable owner* “But she said it was okay! They’re just apricots!”

(The stable owner is talking to the senior instructor about the lesson schedule for today at this point.)

Me: *seeing I can’t do anything to stop her, since she’s already fed at least four apricots to one of the horses* “Just take the pit out first. And don’t force the horses to eat them. They’re sensitive to acidic foods.”

Mother: “Oh, okay!”

(She proceeds to take the pits out, but drops them on the floor outside one of the horse’s stalls. We have a dog at the stable, too, so I pick up the pits before he can eat them.)

Me: “Can you also put the pits over in the compost heap so the dog doesn’t get them, please? He could choke on them.”

Mother: “Oh, sure. And what about these gourds? My friend gave them to me and said the horses would love them.”

Me: “Well, horses don’t eat gourds, but maybe the goats will be interested.”

(Our goat appear rather fat from grazing constantly, but are actually quite agile and can get through tight spaces if need be, a fact the mother doesn’t seem to grasp.)

Mother: *trying to whack open a gourd against a wooden tack trunk* “Ugh. This thing won’t open. Do you happen to have a knife somewhere around here?”

Me: “Um, no, we don’t. Try that lemon cucumber. My goats like those.”

Mother: *breaking open lemon cucumber* “Oh, wow! This looks like a cucumber but…” *sniffs* “…it smells like a lemon!”

Me: “That’s why they call it a lemon cucumber. Here, I’ll offer it to the goats and you can just leave your gourd there on the trunk.”

Mother: *not paying attention* “Here, goat! Eat this!”

(She waves the lemon cucumber in the goat’s face. The goat, understandably, backs away, towards a gap you wouldn’t expect it to fit through. The mother goes to the other side of a shed to find the other goat, who also backs away. She comes back to the first goat, which is now gone.)

Mother: *looking around* “Where’d it go? It couldn’t have gone through that gap! Or under the shed! Where is it? Why’d it leave?”

Me: *to my co-volunteer* “Maybe it went through the gap because you’re shoving food it doesn’t want in its face?”

Co-Volunteer: “And maybe she should trust us when we say not to feed something to an animal?”

Not Sleeping On The Job

| Jersey City, NJ, USA | Family & Kids

(A man comes up to my till to purchase a few items. He has his two children with him, a boy and a girl, both of which I suspect are no older than five years old. The man and his children are very nice, friendly, and overall good customers. As I ring his purchases, the children are excited and happy, with the boy even giving me his own saved up money for a snack, with his father’s permission.)

Me: “Okay, sir, your total is [Total].”

(Just as he’s about to swipe his credit card, the little girl looks up at me and smiles sweetly.)

Girl: “Do you all sleep here?”

(Her father and I couldn’t help but laugh at this point.)

Me: *laughing, but politely* “No, no, we don’t sleep here. We just take turns coming here. In fact, someone else is coming when we all leave tonight.”

Girl: “Okay!” *she happily skips away with her father once the transaction is completed*