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    Category: Family & Kids

    Bad Behavior Is A Vicious Cycle

    | Danbury, CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I’m working in the produce section of my store, which is where the main entrance is. A girl, who is about nine years old, rolls into the store riding her bicycle)

    Me: “Sorry, you can’t ride your bike through the store.”

    Girl: “Why not?”

    Me: “Because it’s dangerous. You might run into someone.”

    Girl: “So what?”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but the bike has to go outside.”

    Girl: “You can go to Hell!”

    Girl’s Mom: “Haha, kids are funny, right?”

    Me: “…”

    (They took the bike outside after, then came back in and stared me down while shopping.)

    A Minefield Of Stupidity

    , | Pákozd, Hungary | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, History

    (There is an exhibit on the conscription in the memorial park, and in that unit we also have a part attributed to the demolition experts, with panels about mine clearing, explosives, and projectiles. Since Hungary was a war zone under both World Wars, and the neighbouring countries also have/had local wars, there are plenty of these mines, projectiles, and bombs scattered around, still dangerous; most of the time, they are found in public places, even at schoolyards and nurseries, fields, rivers, etc. Because of this, we are obligated to give a small but thorough speech about the most common dangers. Be advised that generally people receive similar warnings at school, preschool, and even in the media. As it seems, it is not effective:)

    Me: *finishing my spiel about what to do* “…so, if you find any of these, you just leave it in peace, and call an adult.”

    Mother: *cupping her daughter’s ears, so she cannot hear me* “Don’t worry, honey, this isn’t true anymore…”

    Me: *speechless*

    Father: “Oh, I think I have one or two of these at home!” *points at one of the smaller bombs* “But they are intact… I mean, they are whole, not distorted like these…”

    Me: *hoping he bought a replica* “Oh? Where did you get them?”

    Father: “Well, I was ploughing, and they just sort of came out of the ground.”

    Me: *alarmed* “And where did you put them?”

    Father: “In the garage, I think…”

    Seven-Year-Old Son: “Yes, they are there. I usually play with them!”

    Me: *agitated* “Please, sir, as soon as you get home, don’t enter the garage and call the police!”

    Father: “Why?”

    Tipped In Your Favor

    | FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

    (I’m in a restaurant when a 20-something girl comes up to the waitress taking my order.)

    Patron: “Excuse me.”

    Waitress: “Is there a problem?”

    Patron: “No, I just wanted to forewarn you that my grandmother is going to give you a hard time and probably complain about everything. I know that it’s frustrating dealing with those kinds of customers but she’s old and set in her ways which I know is no excuse, but please just take it with a grain of salt. And here:” *the girl hands the waitress two 20s* “because I know she probably won’t tip very well and you’ll need some incentive not to bludgeon her with a hot poker.”

    Putting You In The Hot Seat

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (I am working selling tickets at a movie theater, when an older gentleman and his teenage granddaughter come in.)

    Customer: “I need two tickets for [Popular Movie].”

    Me: “Of course. If you could please select your seats on the screen below?”

    (I indicate the screen facing him showing the remaining seats for the movie. There are hardly any, because the movie is very popular.)

    Customer: “No, no, no. These are not good seats. Give us two tickets for the next showing.”

    Me: “Absolutely. We have the movie running in multiple theaters, because it is so popular, and the next showing is in a theater about half the size of the previous one, but lots of good seats still available.”

    Customer: “What? No. No, no, no. This is too small. How do you have a theater this small? No. I will not watch a movie on a screen that small. Seat me in the IMAX.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we’re not an IMAX theater.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous. How are you not IMAX?”

    Me: “I suppose we don’t have the room.”

    Customer: “What is your biggest theater?”

    Me: “Um, that’d be about 300 seats.”

    Customer: “That. Seat me in that.”

    Me: “That’s our next showing, the first one you tried to get. It’s almost sold out.”

    Customer: “No, no, no. That’s no good. There are no good seats there! What is your second biggest? Seat me there!”

    Me: *checking* “Our next biggest theater is currently showing [Children’s Movie].”

    Customer: “That’s not what I want to see! Why are you playing that in the big theater?”

    Me: “Many people want to see that movie; it’s been doing quite well.”

    Customer: “Ridiculous. What’s the next biggest? Seat me there!”

    Me: “That theater is showing [Horror Movie].”

    Customer: “Tch! No! I want to see [Popular Movie]! [Popular Movie]!”

    Me: “What if we got you tickets for the next showing of [Popular Movie] in our largest theater?”

    Customer: “Yes. Finally, some help! Do that!”

    Me: *pulling up the seating chart for that movie, which is still mostly empty at this point* “All right. This showing is three hours from now, though.”

    Customer: “What?! No! That’s too long to wait! This is ridiculous. Ridiculous! Give us two tickets to the next showing in the big theater!”

    Me: “All right, but, again, you did not seem to like the available seats for that show time.”

    Customer: “I don’t care; I won’t watch anything on a small screen!”

    (I pull up the original seat selection screen. While he has been arguing, a number of seats have sold, and now, there are only single seats available.)

    Me: “I’m sorry; we only have single seats available.”

    Customer’s Granddaughter: *suddenly jumping in* “That’s fine! That’s fine. We don’t have to sit together. It’s fine!”

    Customer: *smug look, as if he’s won something* “Yes, we will take these seats. In the big theater.”

    (They ended up with two single seats near the very front of the theater. I don’t blame the granddaughter for not wanting to sit with him, though!)

    Parental-Misguidance-13

    | Barnstaple, England, UK | Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Underaged

    (It is 1989, when Tim Burton’s first Batman movie hit the cinemas. The British Board of Film Classification (the UK version of the Motion Picture Association of America) has decided to create a new picture certificate, the 12-certificate, meaning only those over the age of 12 may be admitted. Batman is the very first movie in the UK to be given this certificate. The cinema where this occurs is a single screen, rural cinema that has only one film a week, showing once a day. Cinema-goers queue outside and must do so past two posters advertising that week’s presentation. Because of the newness of the 12-certificate the management have put bright yellow notices with the posters advising patrons of the film’s rating and what it means. Also at opening time cinema staff are policing the queue ensuring no one under 12 gains entry. Behind me are two grandparents and their eight year old grandchild. A cinema employee comes up to them.)

    Employee: “Excuse me, sir, madam, how old is the child?”

    Grandmother: “Eight.”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, but this presentation has been rated ’12’ by the BBFC and as such, is unsuitable for the child.”

    Grandmother: “But it’s Batman!”

    Employee: “Yes, but the film has been rated certificate ’12’ due to its content.”

    Grandfather: “’12’ certificate?”

    Employee: “Yes, sir, it’s a new certificate, restricting the presentation to those to aged 12 or over. The newspaper did warn about this in our advert this week and there are signs outside the cinema saying the same thing.”

    Grandfather: “But it’s his birthday and we promised him we’d take him to see Batman.”

    Employee: “I understand but it is against the law for us to admit him.”

    Grandmother: “But it’s Batman!”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, madam you’ll have to leave. There’s nothing we can do.”

    Grandmother: “But it’s Batman!”

    Employee:Batman it may be; suitable for an eight year old, no, it isn’t. Now please leave. You’re holding up the queue.”

    (The grandparents and grandchild leave the queue. Halfway up the street she turns and shouts to the queue.)

    Grandmother: “This is so unfair! It’s Batman; it should be for kids!”

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