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    Category: Family & Kids

    How Sweet It Is To Be In Line By You

    | KY, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (My three-year-old daughter and I are waiting to check out with a few odds and ends. Unfortunately, the store has only one lane open and several people are waiting in line. I don’t mind, as my daughter and I decide to pass the time playfully sword-fighting with paint stirrers. When I turn to the side, I notice the couple behind me has just one little ream of Post-Its.)

    Me: *to the couple behind me* “Would you like to go ahead of us? You’ve got much fewer items than we do!”

    Lady: “But…you have a kid!”

    Me: “It’s fine! We’re just playing together! Go ahead!”

    Lady: “But kids sometimes get bored of waiting. Are you sure?”

    Me: “Of course! You just have one thing! She’ll be fine; I promise! C’mon, go ahead!” *I scoot aside*

    Lady: “Wow! Thanks!”

    (When it’s time for them to check out, the man holds up his hand to the cashier.)

    Man: “I’ll be right back!”

    (He scrambles over to the next aisle and picks up a package of M&Ms to add to the order. After paying, the man turns around with the package of candy and hands it to my daughter.)

    Man: “Here you go, kiddo!” *to me* “Thanks again for letting us go ahead of you!”

    (It really put a smile on the cashier’s face…and ours too!)

    Gamers Have To Band Together

    | NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (A demo for Rock Band has been set up at the electronics store I work at. I hang around the game section to answer questions and help out. I see two kids, about 8 or 9, who are playing the guitars on easy, while a very pregnant lady is playing drums. I assume they’re all together until another woman storms up.)

    Woman: *to the boys* “I told you not to play these games! They’re bad for you!” *turns to the pregnant lady* “You’re setting a bad example! Don’t you know how horrible video games are for kids?! Your poor child!”

    Pregnant Lady: *smiling, but not stopping* “Actually, music proficiency is linked to having advantages in math and study skills and video games, and when used correctly can instill time management and problem solving skills.” *does a difficult drum riff* “If my ‘poor child’ does half as well as his gamer parents, he’ll have at least two degrees, and a successful medical career.”

    (The pregnant lady finishes the song, scores 90% on expert, and gets up. She smiles and leaves the demo. I held up my fist on the way out and she fist-bumped me. The other woman couldn’t pull her two kids away fast enough.)

    Not All Visitors Stink

    | Panama City Beach, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at the snack shack at my local zoo one summer. We have a huge group of middle-school aged kids in the park, and their supervisor has all 75+ of them come to the shack at once for lunch. I have been serving for about forty-five minutes when this happens.)

    Kid #1: “Can I get a water and a hot dog for five dollars?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (I ring him up, take his money, and give him the water. I’ve turned around to get the hotdog and am just coming back when I hear a shriek.)

    Me: “What happened?”

    Kid #1: “I don’t know.” *grabs hot dog and walks off*

    (I try to calm the kids down, and just when they’re in a line again, I smell an powerful odor; it’s obviously what caused the shriek.)

    Me: “Someone set off a stink bomb. One second…”

    (I radio the front so they know, but there are other groups in the park and it’s not an immediate danger, so it’s still just me.)

    Kid #2: “Yeah. I want to know who it is so we can get them later.”

    Me: “Here’s your order. So, someone decided to set off a stink bomb right where you all are getting and eating food?”

    Kid #3: “Pretty much. I want a cheeseburger and a soda.”

    Me: *still serving* “…In a place full of animals with a great sense of smell, like the bears and mandrills behind me?”

    Kid #4: “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out and beat them up for you!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s sweet.”

    (I keep serving for about another ten minutes when I again hear a shriek; this time, it turns into hysterical screaming. I look and see that one of the parrots has been spooked off his perch, and, for some reason, several kids are screaming since he’s on the ground near them. I grab the radio and tell the keepers, but put up my “Back in Five Minutes” to calm the screaming kids down..)

    Me: *to the screaming kids* “It’s okay. Just back away from the macaw, kids. He’ll be fine; you’ll be fine. Just back up.”

    (The kids do so, and a keeper prepping for the wolf show runs over to put the bird back.)

    Me: “Thanks.”

    Keeper: “No problem. Hang in there…”

    (The keeper has just left when I hear yet another kid yell.)

    Another Kid: “Leave him alone!”

    (I turn to see some kids spooking our white peacock; this other kid, a girl, is trying to protect it.)

    Me: “Oh for the love of… that is the head keeper’s personal favorite animal! Desist!”

    (The kids break up, apparently snickering at my use of the word ‘desist’. I get back into the shack.)

    Kid #6: “Yay, you’re back. Um, a hot pretzel and soda.”

    (After I serve him, I see Kids #2 and #3; they’ve come back with a large group. To my surprise, the kids proceed to empty all the change I’ve given them into the donation jar.)

    Kid #2: “Sorry it’s been so crazy. I swear we’re not all that bad!”

    Brace(let) Yourself For A Good Cause

    | Reisterstown, MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids

    (We sell rubber bracelets in different colors that say one of the following: ‘Be Brave; Be Amazing; Be Kind; Be Accepting, Be Involved; Be Yourself’. When purchased, they donate money to a foundation that prevents bullying of children in school. A mother and her 8-year-old daughter are in the store looking at the bracelets.)

    Daughter: “Mom, can I get one of these?”

    Mom: “Yeah, sure. Which one?”

    Daughter: “I’m not sure. I like all of them. They say such nice things.”

    Mom: “Yeah, they say really nice things, but I don’t like ‘Be Accepting’.”

    Daughter: “Well, why not?”

    Mom: “It sounds lame or something.”

    Me: *gives the mother a dirty look*

    Daughter: *catches on and buys the ‘Be Brave’ bracelet*

    Mama Puts A Stammer In Your Swagger

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I’m up working the cash register on a slow day, when a teenage boy comes up. He looks to be about 14. He’s sagging his pants, trying to look tough.)

    Customer: “Hey, baby.”

    Me: “Hi there, sir. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: *leans on the counter* “You can get me your number.”

    (I’m 25, and engaged.)

    Me: “Sorry, but that’s not going to happen. Can I help you with anything else?”

    Customer: “Why the f*** not, you stupid b****?!”

    Me: “One: That would be illegal. Two: I am happily engaged. And three: even if I ignore the first two, it’s against company policy.”

    Customer: “You’re a f***ing b****! You should be happy I want a piece of your a**!”

    (As the customer continues ranting and raving, a woman appears behind him. She reaches out and taps his shoulder twice.)

    Customer: “What the f*** do you want—”

    (He turns around. All the color drains from his face. He manages to squeak out some words.)

    Customer: “Hi, mama.”

    (She smacks him across the face.)

    Customer’s Mom: “I did not raise you to be a self-entitled douche-bag! I did not raise you to think you are better than this poor girl!” *she grabs him by the ear, and shoves him against the counter, facing me* “Now, apologize!”

    Customer: “But mom!”

    Customer’s Mom: “Now!”

    (He looks close to tears. He mumbles out how sorry he is, and how it wasn’t fair of him to treat me like a piece of meat. His mom, by his ear, pushes him towards the door.)

    Customer’s Mom: “Go.”

    (He walks out of the store, ready to cry. She turns to me, gives me a huge smile, apologizes again, and even buys me a gift card. Apparently there are some good parents still out there!)


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