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    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 6

    | Oahu, HI, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Love/Romance

    (My boyfriend and I are going shopping for my brother’s seventh birthday. A middle age customer walks up to us.)

    Customer: “Aww, isn’t that cute?”

    Me: “What is?”

    Customer: “Brother and sister shopping together. You both look like twins!”

    (My boyfriend laughs.)

    Me: “Sorry, but we aren’t related at all. We’re dating; you know, boyfriend and girlfriend.”

    Customer: “No, you’re not! You haven’t held hands or hugged each other. Show me!”

    Boyfriend: “Well, let’s not keep her waiting…”

    (I give him a kiss, which throws the customer into a rage.)

    Customer: “HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD?! THAT IS INCEST!”

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysRelated.com
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 5
    From NotAlwaysRomantic.com
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 4
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 3
    Putting The Relation Into Relationship, Part 2

    No Manners In Line Is Out Of Line

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a customer. I approach a cashier, with my children in tow.)

    Me: “Howdy, do you have any cooking sherry? I didn’t see any on the floor.”

    Cashier: “Yes, we keep it up here.”

    Customer Behind Me: “Are you really holding up the line for alcohol?”

    Me: “You mean, am I a paying customer who waited in line, without harassing the other store-goers, and is now waiting for a product that is only attained at the front of the store?”

    Customer Behind Me: “Ugh, disgusting. And your kids are standing right there, too. You’re disgusting.”

    My Six-Year-Old Daughter: “She is not disgusting! You are, for being so rude! Didn’t your mommy teach you any manners?! Be patient and wait your turn just like everybody else!”

    (The next customer in line behind the rude customer joins in.)

    Customer #2: “Seriously, stop being a jerk, and wait you’re turn.”

    Customer Behind Me: “F*** this!”

    (The customer behind me walks out.)

    Cashier: “About time someone told him off. He’s a jerk to everyone he sees.”

    My Six-Year-Old Daughter: “That guy needs to learn some manners, or he’s not gonna have any friends!”

    Barking Up The Wrong Family Tree

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (Note: I am a teenager.)

    Me: “Hey, what can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “I have these gift cards, and I would like to exchange them for cash.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I cant do that. It’s store policy, as gift cards have no monetary value.”

    (People are starting to line up behind the customer, and they are starting to get noticeably agitated, having to wait.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any idea who you’re speaking to?”

    Me: “Not even a clue.”

    Customer: “My father owns this store! Now give me my money, or I’ll have you fired!”

    (The owner of the store is in the back, so I call him out.)

    Me: “Boss, your daughter’s here to see you!”

    Boss: “Daughter? I don’t have a daughter.”

    (The customer’s face is growing red, and the people behind her start to laugh. I can tell she wants to run away, but she’s in too deep. My boss comes to the front to see what’s going on. My boss is an Indian man in his 60′s.)

    Boss: “What are you talking about?”

    Me: “This lady right here.”

    (The white customer in her early 20s dips her head, and runs out of the store.)

    Boss: “Maybe she forgot where her dad’s store is?”

    Playstation Meets Playboy

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Technology, Underaged

    (It is just after the release of the video game ‘Playboy Mansion’. In Australia, there is surprisingly no required age limit for the game; it comes with a recommendation only for 18+. A customer approaches the counter with a small boy beside her. She is carrying a copy of the game.)

    Me: “Good morning, just that today is it?”

    (I indicate the game, and the customer nods.)

    Customer: “Yup!”

    Me: “I just have to check that you are purchasing this either for yourself, or someone who is over 18. Though there is no legal requirement to be over 18, I must warn it has graphic content and adult themes.”

    Customer: “No, it’s for him, but it’ll be alright. He’s eight, but I’ve said it’s okay.”

    Me: “I must warn you this game is entirely inappropriate for someone so young.”

    (I detail the contents of the game. However, the customer doesn’t bat an eyelid.)

    Customer: “It’s still okay. I’d like to buy it for him.”

    (I cannot bring myself to cater to this customer, so the manager sells the game to her instead. The customer is about to leave, and I approach her.)

    Me: “If you view the game and you’re unhappy, you can return it to us within 30 days for an exchange.”

    (The customer is reasonably pleasant about this but keeps dismissing my concerns. The boy skips off happily with her. Two days later, she returns with the boy in tow again.)

    Customer: “I’ve come to return this game; I need to get something better for him. It’s not right for him at all.”

    Me: “Sure thing. I had a feeling you wouldn’t be happy with it once you saw the content of the game. Sometimes it’s hard to explain just how graphic some of these games can be.”

    Customer: “Nah, the game was fine, but you should have warned us about how much reading he’d have to do. There’s far too much to read, and he’s only eight. His reading’s not that good yet. There really ought to be warning stickers for this sort of thing. Have you got anything easier?”

    Saved From Traffic, Not Trafficking

    | OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Top

    (I work in the parking lot, helping customers load their vehicles and push carts back to where they belong. I am the only one out on the lot at the moment. A boy runs out into the lot next to me, into the middle of the road.)

    Boy: “Die bug!”

    (I see something moving out of the corner of my eye. When I look, there’s a car driving very fast through the lot. It is heading straight for the boy.)

    Me: “Oh, crap!”

    (I run into the road, pick up the child, and dive out of the way. I use my body as a cushion for him. My back hits a rack of plants, knocking them over, and sending pain through my back. The boy’s mother comes rushing over.)

    Boy’s Mother: “Oh, my God! WHAT THE H*** ARE YOU DOING WITH MY CHILD!?”

    Me: “First of all, I’m okay, and so is he. Second of all, he just about got ran over.”

    (I painfully stand up, and let the child go to his mother, who clings to her.)

    Boy’s Mother: “I want to see your manager now!”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

    (I go and find my manager, and explain to her what happened. The manager understands and goes to the service desk where the boy and his mother now wait. I follow behind and listen in.)

    Manager: “So, I hear you have a problem with one of my employees?”

    Boy’s Mother: “You’re d*** right I do! He tried to steal my baby!”

    Manager: “I assure you that’s not what happened. From what my employee has told me, he saw the child run into the street, chasing a bug. He noticed a car driving at unsafe speeds through the parking lot at the child.”

    Boy’s Mother: “That’s what he wants you to think!! I saw no car!”

    Manager: “What happened when you noticed my employee with your child?”

    Boy’s Mother: “He knocked over the plant racks out front with his back!”

    Manager: “And he did this while holding your child?”

    Boy’s Mother: “YES! You get it!”

    Manager: “Not quite. Follow me with this please. Why would my employee do that when he has the most chance of getting caught? It would draw a lot of attention to himself.”

    Boy’s Mother: “He… he was… I don’t know.”

    Manager: “The only reason I could think of him doing that is if he had to get out of the way of something fast. Or, if your child was in danger of being hit by a car going 40 miles per hour through the parking lot.”

    Boy’s Mother: “Well maybe you should control the cars speeding through your lot more! Hmph!”

    (She takes her son and walks out in a huff. Later on, at the end of my shift, the mother and her son approach me on the way out.)

    Boy’s Mother: “There you are! I’ve been looking for you!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I promise you; I wasn’t trying to kidnap your child!”

    Boy’s Mother: “I know that. But my son has something to say to you.”

    Boy: “Thank you for saving my life.”

    (He hands me a thank you card.)

    Me: “No problem, little man. Promise me something?”

    Boy: “Okay?”

    Me: “Don’t go playing in the street. When you go somewhere, stay next to your mom. That’s the safest place you can be. Can you do that?”

    Boy: “I promise!”

    Boy’s Mother: “Thank you again. I can’t thank you enough. I also came back to talk to your manager. Are you on lunch?”

    Me: “I’m off work now, actually.”

    Boy’s Mother: “Good, then I can make it a surprise!”

    (The mother walks into the store. I wonder what she means, but I figure I’ll find out the next day, and go home. The next day, I open up the store, and find out from my manager that someone gave me a glowing review of my work ethics!)

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