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    Category: Family & Kids

    Going From Negative To Positive

    | Cambridge, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Money, Technology

    (A few minutes after opening the doors of the store, a well-groomed older customer enters. He is carrying a remote-controlled car.)

    Older Customer: “I want my money back right now! This car doesn’t work; I’ve tried everything. Give me a refund so I can leave this h*** hole.”

    Me: “Not a problem at all, sir. Let me take a quick look at it to determine the problem. Do you have your receipt?”

    Older Customer: “Who keeps receipts anymore these days? Just give me my money so I can get out of here. I already told you, I tried everything to make this d*** car work. I’m an engineer and you’re just a cashier. I would know better than you!”

    Me: “I understand, sir. It’s company policy that all defective items are inspected in front of the customer before a refund or exchange can take place. Furthermore, I can not complete the refund without your receipt.”

    Older Customer: “This is f****** ridiculous! I’m an engineer! I told you it doesn’t work, so it doesn’t f****** work!”

    (While he is ranting, I open the back plate and put in some batteries. The car works perfectly.)

    Older Customer: “How the h*** did you do that?!”

    Me: “I put in brand new batteries, sir. I don’t mean to insult you, but you did put batteries in the car itself, right?”

    Older Customer: “Well, that was rude! And yes, I did put batteries in the car.”

    Me: “And… did you put batteries in the remote as well?”

    Older Customer: “I’ve had about enough of you insulting my intelligence! I’ve been on this planet for 78 God-d*** years; I know how batteries work!”

    Me: “Okay, my apologies. Well, it appears that everything here is working as it should, so there is no need to refund or exchange the unit. If you have any further issues, you’re welcome to exchange it within 30 days with the receipt. By the way, you can keep the batteries for your troubles.”

    Older Customer: “Well, I should say so! You’re d*** lucky I’m not one of those rude customers that demands refunds over something ridiculous.”

    Me: “I’m glad I could resolve the issue for you. Have yourself a nice day.”

    (Several hours later, I get a phone call from a sweet-sounding old man.)

    Older Customer: “Good afternoon, are you the young lady that helped me with the remote control car earlier today?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, how can I help you?”

    Older Customer: “Well, I just wanted to apologize for my outburst in your store today. I understand you were just trying to do your job.”

    Me: “Thank you, sir. I accept your apology.”

    (In the background I hear a woman’s voice; she sounds irritated.)

    Woman: “Keep going, Ron.”

    Older Customer: “Again, I’m very sorry.”

    Woman:Say it! You tell her what you did!”

    Older Customer: “I don’t want to, and you can’t make me!”

    (There’s a loud noise, and some inaudible conversation between the two. Then the woman gets on the phone.)

    Woman: “Hi dear. He wants you to know that he’s thankful for the batteries you gave him, and that the car didn’t work the first time because he put the batteries in backwards.”

    Me: “Well, thank you for the kind phone call and the honesty. You two have a lovely day.”

    (She putters with the phone, trying to find the off button. I hear the old man in the background.)

    Older Customer: “At least you didn’t tell her I wasn’t an engineer.”

    Related:
    Going From Positive To Negative

    Doesn’t Recognize The Gravity Of Her Statement

    | Portland, OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Math & Science

    (I work in a rather well known nickel arcade in Portland. Most of our games give out tickets which guests can redeem for prizes. We count these tickets by weight using a scale. A customer approaches my co-worker at our counter with her family; three young children.)

    Coworker: “Hi there! All set to count your tickets?”

    (Her children nod; all are very polite and well behaved.)

    Customer: “You know, I don’t like that you count tickets by weight like that: I don’t trust that scale.”

    Me: “We get that a lot ma’am; the scale is very accurate, and we round up just in case.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but you always crumple the tickets up more when there’s more of them. That makes them weigh more.”

    Coworker: “I’m not sure I understand.”

    Customer: “The tickets weigh more when they’re all smooshed together than when they’re all loose!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, weight doesn’t work like that.”

    Customer: “Yes it does! It’s like when you take a cotton ball and dip it in water, and then it weighs more!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it weighs more because the cotton ball absorbs the water.”

    Coworker: “If you took a brick and weighed it, and then smashed it to pieces and weighed all the pieces, it would weigh the same.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t make— oh, whatever!” *to her children* “Just pick some d*** prizes!”

    Peanuts Are High In Irony

    | NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A man comes in with his son, who looks to be about nine years old.)

    Customer: “Hi, do you guys cook anything in peanut oil? My son has a peanut allergy, and he can’t eat anything with peanuts.”

    Manager: “No, we don’t. He can have everything here except the salad, which has almond in it.”

    Customer’s Son: “Ooh dad, chocolate soda!”

    Customer: “What about the chocolate soda?”

    Manager: “Oh no, he can’t have that.”

    Customer: “Sorry, bud, how about the root beer instead?”

    (He orders their food and while they wait, his phone goes off.)

    Customer’s Phone: “IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME. PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!”

    (He quickly answers it while my coworkers and I are trying not to laugh. He looks a little embarrassed when he hangs up.)

    Customer: “Ha, sorry about that. I guess I should change my ring tone, huh?”

    Me: “No, I loved the irony!”

    Even A Ninja Has To Work

    | Manhattan, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m waiting in line. The customer in front of me has two unruly boys.)

    Boy #1: *to his brother* “Is this for us?”

    Boy #2: “I think so!”

    (They proceed to stuff candy from the shelves into their pockets.)

    Cashier: “I’m sorry; you need to pay for those.”

    Boy #1: “Poop!”

    Boy #2: “Don’t say that. It’s a dirty word.”

    (They empty their pockets.)

    Boy #1: “What if I just take one?”

    Cashier: “You still have to pay for it.”

    Boy #1: “Poop!”

    (He pulls an orange from his mother’s shopping cart. He throws it at the cashier, who catches it without looking up.)

    Boy #2: “How did you do that?!”

    Cashier: “Oh, all the staff here are ninjas.”

    (Panicked, the boys take a few more pieces of candy out of their pockets. As he starts ringing me up, I hear him muttering to himself.)

    Cashier: “Don’t play baseball, they tell me; it’s a waste of time. Just get a job, they say! That’ll teach you what’s important.”

    Customer Service Is Its Own Reward

    | TX, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Top

    (I have been talking to a father and son for roughly an hour about many different headsets, so that they can weigh all the pros and cons and decide on the best pair for them.)

    Father: “Okay, we’ll take two of the [headsets].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we actually don’t have those in stock. We sold our last one today. I can check to see if somewhere nearby does if you’d like?”

    Father: “Oh yes, absolutely!”

    (I check in the system, and let him know the nearest store that has two of the headsets he wants.)

    Father: “Thank you so much. Do I mention your name when I get there?”

    Me: “No, sir, just ask for the headsets. They’ll pull them right out for you.”

    Father: “But don’t you get credit somehow? You told me everything, and I’m not even buying from you.”

    Me: “No, sir, we don’t. I really appreciate that you notice this, but I’m very happy to have directed you to a product you enjoy. It really makes my day just for you to want us to be credited with the sale.”

    (The son pulls the father to the side and begins talking, then the two exit the store after waving and expressing their thanks. Around two hours later, I notice them come back in the store.)

    Me: “Welcome back! Did something happen?”

    Father: “Oh no. We got everything just fine. They had just what we wanted, but we felt so bad that you don’t get anything out of the deal, so we got this for you.”

    (The son hands me a gift card.)

    Me: “Wow, thank you! I can’t believe you did this. This is so nice!”

    Son: “It’s not fair that you helped us, and we didn’t help you. I had extra allowance money.”

    (I shake the father’s hand and give the son a big hug. I have the biggest smile on my face, and I praise them for being such wonderful people. It’s gestures like these that make me so happy to provide customer service where it’s needed.)

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