Featured Story:
  • Making False Bald Statements
    (1,420 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Family & Kids

    Underwear Unaware

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (My place of work is fairly well known in my town and the surrounding area. My boss’s wife occasionally works in the shop.)

    Customer: “Oh, you know, I’m great friends with [Boss]. We go way back.”

    Boss’s Wife: “Oh, really? That’s funny, because I’ve been washing his underwear for ten years and I have absolutely no idea who you are!”

    Depressing Customer Service

    | CO, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (A customer and her five-ish-year-old son are checking out at my register. There is a magazine display nearby. One of the magazines’ cover is a tribute to a comedian who recently committed suicide.)

    Customer’s Son: *pointing at the magazine* “Mommy, he died. Did you know he died?”

    Customer: “Yes, it was very sad.”

    Son: “He committed suicide. What does ‘committed suicide’ mean?”

    Customer: “It means he hurt himself badly. Now, let’s go.

    Son: “He hurted himself and died? I don’t understand. Can I skin my knee and die?!”

    Customer: “No, it’s not like that. He was very sad.”

    Son: “What? He died of being sad? Why was he sad? Someone said he was ‘depressed.’ What is ‘depressed?'”

    Customer: *to me* “Can you explain this to him? I don’t want to.”

    Me: “Um, well, I don’t really feel comfortable doing that; I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “What? I hate this store. You’re so unhelpful. I’ll be talking to your corporate office.” *drags son out the door*

    (I think even corporate will agree that explaining mental illness to a customer’s five-year-old is not my job.)

    Been Ladle-fed Her Entire Life

    | New Ulm, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (I am called over by a customer to the kitchen department.)

    Customer: “I’m looking for a metal ladle. I need it to match my other utensils.”

    Me: *showing her the three plastic ladles we have, no metal ones* “Sorry, it seems we only have plastic ones, not metal. You could possibly check online.”

    Customer: *clearly annoyed* “No, I need a metal ladle. I don’t want to go online for any crap you’re trying to sell me.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We’re a lot smaller than other stores. We don’t have as large of a variety as the other ones do.”

    Customer: “I need my ladle. You’ll order one for me and I’ll be here to pick it up in three days exactly.”

    Me: “We can’t do that, ma’am. We have thing shipped to us through a system. We get bulk orders of items that the systems recognizes we need, whether we have run out or they are sent for a new season.”

    Customer: “I’ll be back in three days.” *to her daughter in the cart* “The customer is always right, sweetie. You demand, and then you get. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I’ll get my ladle and they can’t do anything about it.”

    (She walked away while I tried to explain there was no way we could order one of an item, again…)

    Child’s Play And Slay

    | PA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (At an interactive show meant primarily for little kids, the show follows the good guys tracking a bad guy. Near the end, they catch the bad guy and ask the audience what they should do next. This gets the kids excited to chime in. All of the kids here are under 10 years old.)

    Announcer: “Okay, kids! What should we do with the bad guy now?”

    Girl: “Tell his mommy!”

    Announcer: “Okay, let’s tell his mommy on him! What else?”

    Boy #1: “Kill him!”

    Announcer: “What?!”

    Boy #2: “EAT HIM!”

    Announcer: “Okay, we are DEFINITELY not eating him. That’s illegal.”

    Boy #3: “SET HIM ON FIRE!”

    Announcer: “What do your parents let you watch?!”

    She Passed With Flying Colors

    | NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Holidays

    (I organize events for special needs children and their families. I also work as a female clown. A little girl has approached my table.)

    Me: “Well, hi there! Would you like to get your face painted today?”

    Girl: “Yes! I want [Popular Children’s Character]!”

    (She takes a seat, and as I get my supplies I notice she is staring at my head. I am bald due to a medical condition, so I wear nice-quality wigs which, despite their artificial colors, are often mistaken as real hair. Today I’m wearing bright pink.)

    Me: “All righty, then! [Children’s Character] it is. My name is [My Clown Name]; what’s your name?”

    Girl: “[Girl].” *pauses as I ready the paints* “How is your hair pink? Is it REALLY pink or fake? I don’t think hair can actually be like that.”

    (Her mother begins to speak up, but I wink at her.)

    Me: “Well, I have special hair! I can make it any color I want. Today it’s pink, but tomorrow it might not be.”

    Girl: “Wow! Is that magic?”

    Me: “Yup, it’s kind of like magic!”

    (I proceed to paint her face, fielding several questions about my ‘powers’ to the amusement of the mother. Later the mother explains that due to her rabid love of this popular ‘magical’ franchise, other kids have begun to make her doubt the existence of magic. Weeks later, I am hosting a Halloween event when I spot the same little girl, dressed as one of the franchise characters.)

    Me: “Hi, [Girl]! I like your costume.”

    Girl: “Thanks! It’s my favorite—”

    (She stops abruptly and her eyes go wide. Sure enough, I am wearing a curly purple wig. Her mother grins.)

    Girl: “Whoooooaaaaaa.” *to her mother* “Mommy, look!”

    Mother: “See? I told you it was real magic!”

    (As if on cue, my coworker comes out from behind a trick-or-treat door, dressed as [Main Franchise Character] and signing another child’s autograph. The girl looks starstruck.)

    Girl: “Oh. My. GOSH.”

    Mother: *laughing* “Aaaaaaaand that’s just made our Halloween.”

    (It made mine, too!)

    Page 6/164First...45678...Last