October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Family & Kids

Giving That Request The Boot

| USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I manage a retail clothing store and I am at the counter when a mother and daughter walk up with a pair of our boots in the box to return.)

Me: “Hi, ladies, what can I help you with?”

Daughter: “Yes, I talked to the other manager, [My Assistant], yesterday about the studs coming off my boots. She said I could re-order them.”

Me: “Absolutely! I am sorry they are falling apart.”

(I try and see if the boot can be ordered, since the boots launched some time ago.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but the boots are unavailable for re-order. I would be more than happy to return them for you or you can swap it for whatever you like.”

Mother: “But she wants the boots. Can’t you give us something since they can’t be ordered?”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s exactly what I am trying to do. I am more than willing to return them or exchange them for whatever your daughter would like.”

Mother: “But she wants the boots. You can’t give us anything?”

Me: “So let me get this correct: you would like me to give you something for free AND let you keep the boots?”

Daughter: *getting frustrated with the audacity of her mother asking for such a ridiculous request* “No, it’s okay… I’ll keep the boots.” *mumbles to her mother* “Let’s go, mom.”

The Vapor Has Parted

| PA, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(We have a strict no smoking policy. E-cigarettes have been causing problems because they look like cigarettes from far away. We’ve been told to ask the guests to be discreet with them to prevent others thinking it’s okay to smoke but they usually get defensive and berate us anyway.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a no smoking environment. Please put that out now.”

Woman: *immediately yelling* “This is an e-cigarette! It’s not smoke! You have no right—”

Me: “I see. Ma’am, I still have to ask you to conceal it because it looks real and we can’t have people thinking it’s okay to smoke around the kids.”

Woman: “It’s not smoke! It’s vapor! You can’t do this!”

(She walks away, still yelling. A little while later she comes back.)

Woman: “I just wanted to apologize to you. You were right. I didn’t even think about what the kids would think seeing me smoking. I’m sorry.” *she walks away*

Me: *to my coworker* “I’m awake, right?”

Didn’t Do Their Homework

| Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(This particular theme park allows free admittance for children under two. We get parents coming up to the entrance all the time saying their three-year-old is two. A guest strolls up to me with their obviously 11-year-old son.)

Me: “Hello there, how are you today?”

Guest: *doesn’t answer and proceeds to present only his ticket media*

Me: “And does the child have a ticket?”

Guest: “No, he’s only two.”

Me: *to guest* “Sir, he is clearly not two years old.”

Guest: “Oh, yeah? Go ahead and ask him!

Me: “You mean I have permission to ask your son how old he is?”

Guest: *with a smart-alecky attitude* “Yes, go ahead. See what he tells you.”

Me: *smiles to child guest* “Son, do you like getting homework?”

Child Guest: “No, I hate homework.”

Me: *to adult guest* “Sir, two-year-old children don’t get homework. He needs a ticket and there is the ticket purchasing counter over there.”

Harry Potter And The Amazon Woman

| ID, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

(I work reference desk at a public library. My desk is right next to the “New Books” display, and among the new books is a copy of “The Secret History of Wonder Woman.” The dust jacket shows Wonder Woman in the process of changing from her alter ego to her superhero form, so she still has her glasses and jacket on, but is also wearing her iconic leotard and crown. A mom and her children are walking by the display when one spots the book.)

Child: “Mom, look! It’s Harry Potter Wonder Woman!”

(I’m also a geek in my off-time, so I’m tempted to cosplay that at my next convention now…)

A Grocery Error Of Judgement

| USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work in a popular grocery store. It’s a very busy Sunday afternoon, and I am monitoring the six self-checkout machines, which is basically like paying attention to six things at once, while answering questions of customers passing by. A man and his three- or four-year old daughter walk away from their machine and come up to me.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I left my credit card in the car. Can you watch my groceries while I run out and grab it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but as you can see, it’s very busy at the moment so I can’t hold your machine. However, I can suspend your order while you get your card, and you can finish checking out when you get back.”

Customer: “I’m parked just right outside. Can you please just hold it for a minute?”

(People in line are already getting irritated that this guy is talking to me instead of checking out, but this continues for another couple of minutes. Finally, I just give in.)

Me: “Okay, but please try to hurry. There is a long line.”

Customer: “Thank you so much! I’ll be right back.”

(He takes his daughter by the hand, presumably to take her out with him. A few seconds later, she comes walking back up to me.)

Me: “…Hi. Where’s your dad?”

Girl: “He told me you would watch me while he went outside.”

(This guy left his very young daughter with me, while I was running six cash registers at once on the busiest day of the week. He was gone for about fifteen minutes (way more than “a couple”) and when he returned, he smelled like he had been chain smoking the whole time he was gone. I ended up calling one of my supervisors over to help watch the kid while I did my job. All of the customers who were around kept asking if I knew the guy and his kid, and when I said no, the looks of shock and disgust that he left a complete stranger to babysit her were priceless.)

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