July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Family & Kids

Not Tipped To Be A Good Night

| NY, USA | Family & Kids, Money

(A woman’s 60th birthday party of about 100 in our fancy venue has just ended. The party in general hasn’t been very good tippers despite their flashy attire, many requests, and heavy drinking, but the people are nice enough.)

Guest Of Honor’s Relative: *approaches DJ* “I just want to say thank you so much! The music, the ambiance you provided, was perfect and we all had a wonderful time!”

DJ: “Thank you, miss. No problem, we had a good time.”

Guest Of Honor’s Relative: *approaches a coworker and me changing a tablecloth* “Thank you so much! You worked so hard, the food was delicious, and the service was absolutely great. On point. We will definitely be back! You guys deserve a raise in salary tonight!” *winks, squeezes my arm, and walks away*

Me: *whispering to coworker* “Yeah, it’s called a tip…”

Refunder Blunder, Part 12

| Surrey, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Technology

(Its ten minutes to close and I’m in the process of closing my store. A customer comes in with a store bag.)

Customer: “Hi, I bought a helicopter from you guys a few months ago. I was wondering if I could exchange it?”

Me: “Sure, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “My son flew it into a tree.”

Me: “All righty, I just need the receipt, and if you’ll pass me the copter I can see how much damage it’s sustained.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have the helicopter. It’s still in the tree. And I don’t have a receipt either, I don’t keep receipts. I brought the controller so you can see I actually bought it, and I’m not lying to you.”

Me: “Okay, the controller matches the copters we sell here, but I can’t just exchange the controller for a new box. I need the copter as well. And a receipt.”

Customer: “But I bought it here; the controller is proof!”

Me: “I don’t doubt that you bought it from here, sir, but I really do need everything that was in the box, including the helicopter, in order for me to do anything.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid. You’re telling me I drove two hours to merely exchange this copter for my son, and it was all in vain?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I really can’t do anything until I have the copter and a receipt.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid. What kind of policy is that?!”

Me: “I think you’ll find most stores exercise the same policy as we do about not having the product you’re exchanging.”

Customer: “Fine! Give me your manager’s card and I’ll be back! You haven’t heard the end of this!”

(He never came back and nothing else has come of this.)

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 11
Refunder Blunder, Part 10
Refunder Blunder, Part 9

Banana Drama

| Austria | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(My colleague is a highly educated man about twice my age and works as a guide/educator in several prestigious museums, including a family-friendly house dedicated to nature and natural sciences, where the following occurs. Two young mothers let their toddlers run around wildly in an exhibition space while chatting. One of the mothers starts handing out bananas to the kids.)

Colleague: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but eating is not permitted here.”

Visitor: “I thought you were supposed to be a family-friendly museum. Am I supposed to let the poor kids go hungry?”

Colleague: “Of course not, ma’am. We have a nice, large picnic area where you’ll surely be much more comfortable. There you can also warm up milk or food, if necessary. Let me show you where it is.”

Visitor: “Why can’t you just let them finish their bananas here?”

(My colleague points to a very small child holding a half-eaten banana like a pen, smearing it all over a white wall.)

Colleague: “That’s why.”

(Instead of leaving the area, the very same lady grabs her kid, takes out a blanket and a diaper.)

Colleague: *in a much sterner tone* “If you wish to diaper your baby, I must insist on you using the specially designated room, ma’am, JUST OVER THERE.” *points to the other end of the hall* “There is such a thing as odour nuisance.”

(This time she yields and begrudgingly takes her stuff and the kid to the baby care room. After a few minutes she comes out and ostentatiously chucks the dirty diaper in a waste basket just outside the washrooms. The place, of course, starts to reek.)

Colleague: *in a perfectly calm tone* “What kind of pigsty did YOU escape from, madam?!”

(Whereupon they stormed off, never to be seen again…)

The Pranks Are Heating Up

| Aulnay-sous-Bois, France | Family & Kids

(My sister is a pharmacist. This happens to her boss while on duty. The phone rings at the beginning of the afternoon.)

Boss: “[Pharmacy], how may I help you?”

Child: “Do you have any thermometers?”

Boss: “Yes, we do sell some.”

Child: “WELL, YOU CAN STICK THEM UP YOUR A**! *hangs up*

(Her boss laughs at the prank call and tells her, and thinks nothing of it. Two hours later, the phone rings, and he’s the one answering it again.)

Boss: “[Pharmacy], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Oh, hello. So you’re a pharmacy?”

Boss: “Yes, we are [Pharmacy] from [Place]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Well, sorry to disturb you. I just went back home from work and forgot my cellphone at home. I just noticed my son used it to call this number, and I thought I called back to know who you were.”

Boss: “No problem, sir.”

Caller: “I apologize for the inconvenience, I will teach my son a lesson he will not forget.”

Boss: “Oh, no, no, no ! No need for it!”

Caller: “Why? He used my phone and bothered you while you were busy!”

Boss: “No, we just opened. We had no customers yet, and it wasn’t a problem at all. It was a short call. Nothing happened!”

Caller: *angrily* “What did he tell you?”

Boss: “Oh, it was just a small prank call.”

Caller: “OH, MY GOD, THAT LITTLE S***! And I just offered to buy him a video game! I’ll take it back; he doesn’t deserve it.”

Boss: “No, wait, no! I told you, don’t worry. It was nothing!”

Caller: “Yes, it was! I must teach him some people are working and that he f***ing needs to grow up!”

Boss: “But it was just a fun joke, you know? Nothing to worry about.”

Caller: “What did he tell you?”

Boss: “Well, er… He only asked if we had thermometers…”

Caller: “And…?”

Boss: “And… well… he said I could stick them up my a**.”

Caller: “WELL, I THINK IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU PULL THEM OUT NOW!” *hangs up*

(Her boss burst into laughter and told the whole staff about it. Whoever this was, it put them in a good mood for the rest of the day!)

No Way To ‘Run’ A Restaurant

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I am a server and it is a busy Friday night. I have about six tables, one of those being a 12-top with about four kids.)

Me: “Hi, it’s really busy and I’d rather not run into your kid. Do you mind not letting them run around?”

Customer: “Are you serious? You can’t just watch where you are going?”

Me: “I’ll do my best.” *I smile and walk away*

(10 minutes later, I’m walking through the aisle with three plates in my hand and a child runs into me and steps on my foot, leading to a large bruise and me dropping all the plates, that were for their table.)

Customer: “ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?! YOU NEED TO WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING! YOU COULD HAVE DROPPED THAT ON MY SON!”

Me: “I am so sorry. I tried but your son ran into me. I’ll get this food remade for you right away!”

Customer: No forget it; we are leaving! This is your fault! You’re the worst server I have ever had, almost hurting my son!”

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