Category: Family & Kids

Womb Mates Looking To Be Room Mates

| IA, USA | Family & Kids, Hotels & Lodging, Theme Of The Month

(I am a nighttime desk clerk at a hotel. Two teenage boys enter.)

Older Boy: “Yeah, we’d like a room for the night.”

Me: *suspicious* “Okay, I’ll need to see some ID.”

(The older boy hands over his ID.)

Me: “This says you’re only 17. I can’t give you a room unless you’re 18, especially if you’re checking in with someone else. Besides, I can’t even tell if this is you. The picture’s all smudged out.”

Older Boy: “Oh wait, that’s not my ID. It’s my twin brother’s ID.”

Me: “Your twin brother…”

Older Boy: “Yeah! I mean, can’t you see the family resemblance?”

Ballerina Rex

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I am in the toy store with my boyfriend. It’s a Saturday, so it’s pretty crowded with children and their parents. We’re looking at the display of a new dinosaur toy series, when a tiny little girl in a pink ballerina outfit enters the store with her mother. The girl spots the dinosaur display from about 30 feet away, and comes running over.)

Little Girl: “Mommy! Mommy look! Dinosaurs!”

Her Mom: “I see sweetie. Do you want to spend some of your birthday money on the dinosaurs?”

Little Girl: “Yes! Can I have the T-Rex? Or the Triceratops?”

Her Mom: “How about one like the one this lady is buying?”

(The mom gestures to me and the velociraptor set I’m holding. I smile, and hold it at her level so she can see it. The little girl examines it carefully, and then slowly shakes her head.)

Little Girl: “It’s a little too scary. Can I have the T-Rex?”

Her Mom: “Sure sweetie, it’s your birthday money after all.”

(She hands her daughter the T-Rex box, which is nearly as big as she is. Her older brother, who looks about 13, offers to carry it for her.)

Little Girl: “AWESOME! Dinosaurs!”

(Clutching the box, she starts skipping towards the cash with her older brother, twirling and spinning like a ballerina the whole way.)

Her Mom: *sees us laughing* “My little ballerina. She’s been stealing her brother’s toy dinosaurs since she was one!”

(The adorable, dino-loving ballerina made my day!)

Doing A Job On The Kids

| Blackfoot, ID, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(A mother comes in with two young sons. One is about seven, and the other about four.)

Mother: “I got you both candy. Now, no more fighting in the car.

Me: *to the kids* “Fighting in the car? Uh oh. Do you know what happens to kids who fight in the car?”

Boys: “No. What?”

Me: “They get left at gas stations. And do you know what we do with kids who get left here?”

Boys: *wide-eyed* “What?”

Me: “We put them to work. And we don’t give them the fun jobs; we make them clean the toilet!”

(By now the mom is just laughing.)

Boys: “We don’t want to stay here!”

Me: “Yeah. We make the really bad kids clean the toilets with their tongues!”

(I look up to the mom.)

Me: “That might buy you 15 minutes of them not fighting!”

Mom: *to her boys* “Guess you’d better behave so you don’t get left some where.”

Boys: “We’ll quit fighting!”

The Light In A Polite Lite World

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I work at a convenience store with a pharmacy. I’ve been working there for just about a year, and have given up completely on meeting a customer who’s nice to me. While I’m ringing people out, a boy about the age of eight or nine walks up to my register by himself.)

Boy: *places Xbox live card on the counter* “Just this, please.”

Me: “Sure.”

(I ring him up and give him his total. It’s about $20.)

Boy: “I’m sorry; I have about $15 in cash, but the rest is in quarters. Is that okay?”

Me: *smiling* “That’s fine. Now I won’t need quarters later.”

(The boy smiles and counts out his change. I finish the transaction and hand him the receipt with his card.)

Me: “There you go. Have a nice day.”

Boy: *smiling politely* “Thank you very much. You have a nice day too!”

(He waves and smiles as he walks out. That boy restores my faith in humanity. He is now a regular at our store and I always love seeing him, still as polite as ever!)

Putting The ‘R’ Into Refund

| Largo, FL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

(I am working the box office with my manager. A large group of teenage girls dressed like they are going to a club get their turn to purchase tickets.)

Manager: “Make sure you ID them, and let them know if they sneak in, they won’t get a refund.”

(I acknowledge the manager’s comment, and turn to the teenage girls.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [theater]; how may I help you?”

Girl #1: “Can we have tickets to see [R-rated movie]?”

Me: “Do you guys have ID?”

Girl #1: “No.”

Me: “Then I am afraid I can’t sell you the tickets. It’s company policy that you have proper ID to see R-rated movies.”

(The girls walk away angry. They come back a few minutes later after waiting in line again.)

Girl #1: “Can we have tickets to see [G-rated movie]?”

Me: “Sure, your total will be $32. If you try to sneak into the movie you wanted before this one, you will not get a refund. Here are your tickets, enjoy!”

Girl #2: “Why does everyone think we are trying to sneak into a d*** R-rated movie?!”

Girl #3: “I don’t know, but it’s getting really ANNOYING!”

(Not even ten minutes later, the girls come storming out of the theater and toss their tickets up on the counter.)

Girl #3: “We need refunds for this movie.”

Me: “Why do you need a refund for this movie?”

Girl #3: “Because, it already started.”

Me: “Actually, this movie doesn’t start for another ten minutes.”

Girl #3: “Well, I, uh…”

Me: “So why do you need a refund?”

Girl #3: “Because the cop wouldn’t let us in the movie!”

Me: “You mean the cop that is standing by the auditoriums that have the R-rated movies, that are on the complete opposite side of the theater that has the movie you bought tickets for?”

(All four girls give dumbfounded looks.)

Me: “I am sorry; I can’t give you a refund.”

(The girls start making a scene. My manager walks over.)

Manager: “Listen, my employee did her job. She told you she wasn’t going to give you a refund if you tried to sneak into a movie, and you did exactly what she told you not to do. Now, you have two options: you can leave the theater and take your attitudes elsewhere, or I can call the cops and have them remove you from the premises. Which will it be?”

(The girls turn and storm off.)

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