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    Category: Family & Kids

    Mom Is Breaking Bad Habits

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am serving a customer who is purchasing over $600 worth of clothing and accessories for her son’s upcoming 21st birthday, as well as making an exchange on his behalf.)

    Me: “Okay. Was there anything else before I process the exchange?”

    Customer: “No. Here you go!”

    (She hands me the bag with the original item. As I remove it from the bag, an obviously used meth pipe falls onto the counter.)

    Me: *in disbelief* “Um…”

    Customer: “Oh, my God! What is that?”

    Me: “Um, it’s a pipe…”

    Customer: “A pipe? Like a smoking pipe? What is it for?”

    Me: *I pause, unsure of how to break it to her*

    Customer: “Is it for marijuana?!”

    (By now she is already visibly flustered, looking incredibly angry, and, most of all, mortified. I decide not to tell her what it really is, in fear of her having a heart attack in front of me.)

    Me: “Yeah. It’s for marijuana.”

    Customer: “I’m going to kill him! What else is he doing? Oh, my God. I’m so embarrassed!”

    Me: “He’s obviously got a lot of explaining to do?”

    Customer: “I’ll have to confront him about this. Who knows if he’ll be getting anything at all for his birthday?!”

    (To my surprise, she actually still purchased everything. I do wonder if her son confessed to what he was actually smoking!)

    Raising Sheldon Cooper

    | GA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (I am the manager. We have a sweet customer who comes in once a week with her adorable toddler. The little girl is always very happy and people often comment on her. On this day, the customer is looking at detergent on an aisle we’re restocking.)

    Coworker: “Your daughter is absolutely adorable.”

    Customer: “Thank you.” *to daughter* “That nice man complimented you. Can you say ‘thank you’?”

    Toddler: “BAZINGA!”

    (Everyone in the nearby vicinity including the woman starts laughing.)

    Customer: “She can’t say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ that’s intelligible to anyone but me or my husband yet, but, somehow, that came out clear as day.”

    Coworker: “Oh, my god. That was so funny. You just made my crappy day so much better!”

    Customer: “Oh, well, I’m glad we could help! Say ‘bye bye,’ sweetie.”

    Toddler: *blows a raspberry*

    Customer: “Sorry, I’ve been trying to teach her that’s not nice. Can you wave ‘bye bye’?”

    Toddler: “YAY!”

    Customer: “Close enough. I hope she didn’t disrupt your work, guys, and I’m glad your day is getting better!”

    (The customer grabs her detergent and they head off towards the deli.)

    Coworker: “We should give her a gift card. She’s always awesome every time she comes in here.”

    Me: “You’re right.”

    (When the customer checked out, we had a $25 gift card waiting for her with BAZINGA written across the back. We could hear her laughing all the way out of the store. We love it when she comes in.)

    Related:
    Greeting Sheldon Cooper

    The Expiring Is Not Inspiring

    | South Africa | Family & Kids, Tourists/Travel

    (I do the entertainment program at the resort. Just to add, I am 25 years old. The children of the guests that stay at the resort will come and play with me. We do arts & crafts, colouring-in, swimming, etc. All the kids are currently sitting down on a round table, busy making some paper dolls. Between the kids there are two girls sitting across the table from me. They are between four and five years old.)

    Girl: “So, where are your children?”

    Me: “I don’t have any kids.”

    Girl: “Where is your husband?”

    Me: “I do not have a husband.”

    Girl: “Boyfriend?”

    Me: “No. I do not have a boyfriend either.”

    (The girl elbows the other girl next to her, and says:)

    Girl: “Isn’t she past her expiry date?”

    Needs To Clean Up Her Act

    | AK, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (A girl of about 12 starts to examine a table of pajamas that I had just folded a few minutes ago. At first I’m afraid that she’ll make a mess of everything but she does her best at folding the stuff that she unfolded. Soon her friend comes and looks at the pajamas. However, unlike the other girl, she doesn’t fold the stuff again and just throws the stuff she looks at back on the table.)

    Girl #1: “I, um, think the employees would like it if you folded the stuff instead of, um, setting it back unfolded.”

    Girl #2: “It’s their job. They get paid to do it so it’s not my problem.”

    Girl #1: *nervously* “Oh, er, but—”

    Girl #2: “Drop it! It’s their job. They should be thankful I’m leaving these unfolded! It gives them a job so they can earn money!”

    ([Girl #2] proceeds to take a stack of pajamas and throw them onto the table, causing many to fall. I’m about to interject when [Girl #1] speaks.)

    Girl #1: “So? Let’s say you have to clean the living room everyday, and your parents pay you for it.”

    Girl #2: “But—”

    Girl #1: “Shut up and listen! Let’s say you got it SPOTLESS and perfectly clean. And then your brother and his friend play video games for hours in there, spilling their snacks and leaving empty soda cans and wrappers everywhere. You don’t get paid extra to clean up that mess! And it would make you upset that you have to redo all that work! That’s what the employees probably feel like!”

    Girl #2: “Whatever, b****.”

    ([Girl #2] leaves. [Girl #1] one proceeds to start cleaning up the mess.)

    Me: “Don’t worry. I’ve got it. Thanks, though.”

    Girl #1: “Sorry about her. She’s a jerk.”

    Me: “It’s not a problem. I’ve had to pick up messes that are worse than this many times before.”

    (Later, I see [Girl #2] talking to her dad.)

    Girl #2: “And then she called me a b**** and walked off.”

    Dad: “Really? That’s odd for her behavior. I should have known better than to let you guys shop alone.”

    (Just then [Girl #1] walks up.)

    Girl #1: “My mom will be here to pick me up, so you don’t need to give me a ride home Mr. [Last Name].”

    Dad: “Is it true you called [Girl #2] a rude name?”

    Girl #1: “What? No!”

    Girl #2: *in fake tears* “Yeah. She, she yelled yelled at me, and called me rude names besides b****!”

    Dad: “Stop saying that. Now, [Girl #1], I’m telling your mom and we’ll discuss this later.”

    Girl #1: “But, I didn’t…”

    ([Girl #2] is smirking at [Girl #1] between her fake sobs. I step in.)

    Me: “Sir, I actually witnessed the event.”

    (As I explain the event to the dad, [Girl #1], who is on the verge of tears because of how upset she is, starts to feel better now that she has someone backing her up. [Girl #2] stops faking her tears and stops smirking.)

    Dad: “Thanks.” *turns to [Girl #1]* “I’m terribly sorry.” *turns to [Girl #2]* “What’s gotten into you? You’re in deep trouble now!”

    (I had to go, but I was happy to know that the younger girl didn’t get in trouble!)

    Yaoi Got To Be Kidding, Part 2

    | Rapid City, SD, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem

    (I work at the local bookstore. I am trying to grow our small graphic novel and manga section so that it is worthwhile. A customer and his mom have stopped in to look around. He is about 16 years old.

    Customer: “Mom, can I please get a new comic book?”

    Customer’s Mom: “I don’t know. You just got one.”

    (The mom looks over at me working at the register.)

    Customer’s Mom: “Here’s the deal. Play your ringtone to her. If she can name the song or at least where it comes from, I will buy you a new comic book.”

    (The customer’s son looks at his phone shyly as he looks for his ringtone. The music starts to play the theme song to ‘Robot Chicken.’)

    Me: “Oh my god! That’s Robot Chicken!”

    (I proceed to bock like a chicken with it. The customer’s mom looks at me incredulously and shakes her head.)

    Customer’s Mom: “I made a deal.”

    (They bought the comic book and are leaving. The mom is moaning loudly to her son.)

    Customer’s Mom: “I can’t believe that the one person I point out knows exactly what it is! You’re everywhere! She doesn’t even look like she likes that kind of stuff!”

    Related:
    Yaoi Got To Be Kidding

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