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    Category: Family & Kids

    Maid of Dishonor

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in a small ‘special occasions’ dress boutique. Today, my customer is a bride, with her bridesmaids, and the bride’s mother. The bride’s sister looks about 16 or 17.)

    Bride’s Sister: “Okay, so I know you’re the one getting married, but I still have to look hot. My dress has to look hot. I have to stand out.”

    Bride: “Well, we’ll have a look at what they have in my colors for my wedding, and see what they have that can be made to flatter all of you. But the only dress that will be different is the maid-of-honor dress, and since you aren’t the maid-of-honor, you’ll be wearing a bridesmaid’s dress.”

    Bride’s Sister: “Okay, first of all, I’m not wearing a dress in your colors. Second, I’m not wearing the same thing these girls are wearing. I have to look like the hottest b**** in the entire room.”

    Bride’s Mother: “No, the bride has to be the center of attention.”

    Bride’s Sister: “Then she has to try to upstage me. That isn’t my problem. My dress has to be gorgeous.”

    Bride: “Fine. You won’t be a bridesmaid then.”

    Bride’s Sister: “MOM!” *stamps her foot* “DO something!”

    (The mother throws up her hands and shakes her head.)

    Bride’s Mother: “I don’t know what you want me to do. You said you wouldn’t wear your sister’s bridesmaid dress, so how can you expect to be a bridesmaid?”

    (The bride’s sister starts throwing a tantrum, and is escorted outside by their mother. The bride looks close to tears, but calms down. She is a dream to work with, and they find beautiful bridesmaid dresses, and a wonderful maid-of-honor dress. The sister comes back in, just in time to see the maid-of-honor dress.)

    Bride’s Sister: “See, that’s perfect. That’s my dress.”

    Bride: “No, that’s the maid-of-honor dress. This is the bridesmaid dress. If you won’t wear it, you can’t be in the wedding. And mom, if she isn’t going to be in the wedding, I want you to go with her when she shops for her dress, and veto anything you know I wouldn’t be okay with.”

    (The bride’s sister starts screaming, and throwing another tantrum. She has to be escorted out. A few months later, the bride, now happily married, comes back to give us thank you cards for putting up with the incident, and because her bridesmaids and maid-of-honor dress turned out so beautifully. I don’t know what became of her sister, but I didn’t see her in any of the wedding photos the bride showed us!)

    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4

    | FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (My mother takes my younger brother and me out to a restaurant for dinner. As we are eating we witness a car crash in the road. My mother, being an LPN (licensed practical nurse), leaves her meal to rush across the street to offer help. We are seated by an elderly couple right next to a window.)

    Elderly Man: “Did your mom just go out there to help them?”

    Me: “Oh, well, she’s a nurse. Pretty much anytime an accident occurs and she’s there, she tries to help.”

    Restaurant Proprietor: “That’s your mother out there?”

    Little Brother: “Yeah. Our mom’s a nurse, so she went to help out.”

    Restaurant Proprietor: “Wow! How cool!”

    (My mother spends the next 30 minutes out in the middle of traffic, helping both drivers with their injuries, and waiting until EMTs arrive. She comes back in, and we resume our meal like nothing has happened.)

    Elderly Woman: “Are they okay?”

    Mom: “Yeah, but the poor girl – her parents are out of town. She has to wait in the hospital for them to come and see her. She pulled out, and that guy pulled out in front of her and rammed her car.”

    Elderly Woman: “Well, at least they’re okay.”

    (Another 20 minutes pass while my mother finishes her meal and the check is brought out to us. As the proprietor from earlier leaves the check, the couple next to us get up to leave.)

    Elderly Man: “Let me tell you something…”

    (He quickly snatches the check off of our table.)

    Elderly Man: “If I were in an accident like that and needed help, I would want you to come and help me. Anyone who selflessly dodges traffic to help someone like that deserves to have their meal paid for. I hope that if one day I’m in an accident I have you there for me.”

    (Despite my mother’s protests, the man pays the bill without even glancing at the total. When we go to the front to explain ourselves, the cashier isn’t surprised.)

    Cashier: “Oh, that’s Bill. He’s a regular here. I’m not surprised he did that. He’s a real sweetheart. He was actually on his first date with that girl!”

    (If you ever read this, Bill, you moved my mom to tears that day. You have forever made me want to be a better person! It’s people like you that re-instill my hope in humanity.)

    Related:
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2

    The Breast Advice

    | AR, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (A lone customer, obviously pregnant, is looking at the wall of pacifiers and bottles, looking more and more confused as she stands there. She turns to me.)

    Customer: “Hey, do you have any kids?”

    Me: “Yes, I have a three-year-old daughter.”

    Customer: “Oh, thank God! Which one of these bottles did you use? I don’t know which one is the best one!”

    Me: “Oh, my daughter never drank from a bottle.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “My daughter never drank from a bottle. We didn’t need them.”

    Customer: “B…but then how did you feed her?!”

    Me: “With my boobs.”

    (The customer digests this for a few seconds, then blushes crimson and runs off, leaving me a little confused, offended, and worried about the child she is carrying.)

    Law And Order: The Next Generation

    | Australia | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Money, Top

    (A customer approaches the counter with curtains in her hand. Her 15-year-old daughter hovers around.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am! Those curtains will be a total of $45, at $15 a piece.”

    Customer: “What? No, the sign said $5 a piece.”

    Me: “Really? I’m very sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am; I was told not to sell these specific curtains for any less than $15. We are a charity drive, so I hope you understand the pricing.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t get it. These curtains were over there on that rack, and it said $5! You are bound, by law, to sell me these at this pri—”

    (The daughter interrupts.)

    Customer’s Daughter: “Actually, she’s not. The sign beside the curtains could have been referring to any number of things. That said, even if we were to assume that it referred to the curtains themselves, it would only constitute an invitation to treat, which is something very different to an offer. You know as well as I do that both an offer and an acceptance are needed to form a contract. By taking the curtains to the counter, you’re offering, and by disagreeing with an express term of the contract—in this case, the price—this lovely lady who’s merely performing her job is not accepting. Therefore, no contract has been formed.”

    Customer: “I… I… shut up!”

    (The customer storms out of the shop.)

    Me: “Thank you!”

    Customer’s Daughter: “No problem. I just finished a semester on contract law, and she’s done this in the past three stores we’ve gone to. I hope things look up for you!”

    A Sweet For The Not-So-Sweet Old Lady

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids

    (I am a cashier in a grocery store that has a basket of free suckers at each register. They’re supposed to be for kids, but every now and then an adult will ask for one. We usually don’t mind. An elderly customer and her middle-aged daughter come through my checkout lane.)

    Elderly Customer: “Oooh, suckers! Are they free? I want a sucker!”

    Daughter: “No, those are for kids.”

    Elderly Customer: “I. WANT. A. SUCKER!”

    Daughter: “No, mom, they’re for little kids. You’re not a little kid, are you?”

    Elderly Customer: “YES I AM! NOW GET ME A GOD-D*** SUCKER, B****!”

    (I just hand the elderly customer the basket, and back away slowly.)

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