October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Family & Kids

Some Background Is Required

| SK, Canada | Family & Kids, Technology

(I provide in-home servicing of computers. My client has reported that his computer doesn’t turn on. Once on site, I do a quick check to make sure it’s plugged in and the power bar is working.)

Me: “Okay, I’m thinking it’s the power supply. If it is, the parts and labour is [cost] plus tax. If not, I’ll have to dig a little deeper to see what the problem is.”

Client: “No problem. Do what you have to do.”

(I open the computer’s case and see that the wires from the power supply to the motherboard have been cut, likely with scissors or a knife. My client sees it right away as well.)

Me: “Well, this is new one for me. Any idea what happened here?”

Client: *clearly angry, but certainly not at me* “No. Will a new power supply still fix it? I have work I need to do on this computer today.”

Me: “Yes, assuming nothing else is damaged.”

(I replace the power supply with a new one, and the computer turns on. After booting, my client’s desktop background turns out to be a picture of his son and his best [male] friend having sex.)

Client: “Well, that explains it.”

(Turns out, the kid accidentally set the desktop background to the picture in question, and didn’t know how to change it back. In a state of panic he cut the wires, thinking dad would just get a new computer rather than get it fixed!)

Not Quite The Picture Perfect Finish

| Orem, UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

(Our studio is in a mall. I’m the photographer in a sitting with a young child. The child is throwing a tantrum, crying and screaming, while the mother stands next to me doing nothing.)

Me: “Sometimes when kids won’t cooperate, we suggest taking a break. There’s a candy store right next to us or the toy store is right across the hall.”

Mother: “I don’t want to wait any longer to get these photos done. Just take the photo.”

Me: “We could get you right in when you come back. You wouldn’t have to wait again. Sometimes kids just need a quick distraction to calm down.”

(The kid is currently in full meltdown mode.)

Mother: “Just take the photo so I can purchase a package and go home.”

(Without even looking at the child, I snap a photo. The image comes up on the screen: the child is mid-tantrum, red-faced and screaming. I turn to the mother, deadpan.)

Me: “How’s that?”

Mother: “… The candy store is right next to you?”

Teaching Them To Be A Smart Cookie

| Wyoming, MI, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Technology

(I am a supervisor in a call center for a large online accommodation site. I get an angry guest escalated to me because she is unhappy about something that has appeared on her screen while browsing our site.)

Me: “Hello. My name is [Name] and I’m a supervisor at [Site]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m am just calling to let you know that I am never using your site! Ever!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I was just browsing hotels in California and porn popped up in a sidebar on your website!”

Me: “I’m sorry that happened, ma’am, but we have no control over that.”

Customer: “Well you better get control over it quick!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, you’re misunderstanding me. The advertisements on the side of your screen are based on your previous browsing history.”

Customer: “I would never go on a site like that!”

Me: “I understand that, ma’am, but I’m just trying to explain the technical aspect of how they work. Being that I work at [Site], I am on our site quite a bit and because of that, all the advertisements on the side are for [Site].”

Customer: “Oh. Well, what do I do?”

Me: “I can walk you through how to get rid of them if you’d like.”

(I walked the customer through how to delete her cookies in her browser and she calmed down. She was very grateful for my help and stated that she was going to have some investigating to do with her husband and kids!)

Losing Their Financial Puppy Fat

| ME, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(It should be noted that I’m a bleeding heart and I cry easily. It’s a really slow night, so I get pretty excited when I see a dad and his daughter, who looks to be about seven, approaching my line. The dad leans in close to me to whisper.)

Dad: “She’s been saving her money up for a while to buy this stuff. Can you split the payment to do her $8.00 in cash and the rest on my card?”

Me: “Of course I can! I have to do the cash first, though.”

Dad: “Perfect. I also have some things to buy in a separate transaction.”

(The girl starts emptying a small purse of money: a few dollar bills but mostly coins. I’m thinking the girl was saving for some toys and art supplies from our kids’ section but after she’s done emptying her purse, she places on the counter pet supplies: a collar, a leash, our most expensive dog bone, and shampoo.)

Girl: “I love my puppy, so I’m buying him some presents!”

Me: “Wow! Gosh, that’s really sweet of you! It must have taken a lot of hard work and dedication to save up this much!”

Girl: *nodding* “I didn’t buy any candy or anything.”

(Her father winks at me and nods toward the big stack of junk food he’s placed on the other end of the counter. I grin and start ringing the girl’s order up while she counts. She gets to $8, mostly in pennies, and scoops it all up to hand to me.)

Girl: “Here, miss. I’d like to pay, please.”

Me: “I think I can help with that! So that’s $8.”

(Her dad pays for the rest of the order on his card and then I start ringing up the snacks.)

Dad: “Thank you for being so patient.”

Me: “Please, sir, it’s no trouble at all. It’s a really slow night, and I have a dog myself. She could have taken all the time in the world, if she’d wanted to!”

(The girl giggles and hugs her bag close to her. Father and daughter both thank me, and after they leave my manager approaches me.)

Manager: “Want to go take five to cry in the bathroom?”

Me: *tearing up as she speaks* “Yeah, I’d really appreciate that. Thank you.”

Mother, Daughter, Lawyer, Cry

| Sweden | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(I’ve been told I am extremely scary looking, but I am very kind, especially towards children. My girlfriend has a habit of teasing me for looking so scary. A small child enters the store with her mother. I notice the girl holding a teddy bear and don’t comment on it. My girlfriend is the cashier.)

Mother: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Yeah? Can I help you?”

Mother: “How dare you!”

Me: “… Pardon?”

Mother: “How dare you treat me like a lesser being?!”

Me: “I literally said ‘can I help you.’ I work here. It’s my JOB to, y’know, help people.”

(The mother huffs and hurries off, leaving the girl behind, who was looking at some toys. She panics once she sees her mother is gone.)

Girl: “Mommy? Where are you?”

Me: “Aw, h***. Yo, kitten!”

Girlfriend: “Yeah?”

Me: “Can you get [Coworker]? Dude should be in the back. Tell him to find the kid’s mother.”

(I explain how the mother looked. She nods and hurries off. The coworker quickly walks past us with a calm smile. He’s one of my best friends and the only time he snaps is when people are being idiots.)

Me: “Hey, kid. You want a cookie or something?”

Girl: “Mommy says I shouldn’t take things from strangers.”

Me: “Fair point. Come on. Let’s look around, shall we?”

(I show my hand with a calm smile. She carefully grabs it. I now notice she dropped her teddy bear.)

Me: “Hey… Where’s your teddy?”

Girl: “Huh? Oh, no!”

(She looks panicked. I quickly find it and hand it back to her with a calm smile. She quickly hugs it.)

Girl: “You’re scary… but nice.”

Me: “Yeah, so I hear…”

(The coworker from earlier now comes along with the mother, who is screaming

Mother: “How dare you assault my child! You sick f***! I’ll have your a** sued!”

Me: “For what? For leaving your daughter behind?”

Mother: “I’ll have your a** sued! I’m a lawyer!”

Girl: “Mom, you’re a waitress…”

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