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    Category: Family & Kids

    Dinosaur-Brained

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Family & Kids, History, Pets & Animals, Top

    Customer: “Excuse me, will my son like this for his birthday? He loves dinosaurs.”

    (I examine the gift; it’s a set of various plastic fossils.)

    Me: “Well, it depends on how into dinosaurs he is. If he just thinks they’re cool, then it’ll be fine. If he’s into palaeontology at all, though, he’ll be disappointed because none of those are actually dinosaurs.”

    Customer: “What? Don’t be stupid! He loves dinosaurs! I know what a dinosaur is!”

    Me: “Well, right there you have a Pterodactyl, two Synapsids including the famous Dimetrodon, a Plesiosaur, and a Tiktaalik. None of those are dinosaurs. They’re not even all reptiles, or Mesozoic.”

    Customer: “What do you know? God, you kids these days are so rude! I know what a dinosaur is.”

    (She buys the toy set and leaves in a huff. A week later, I’m working as a cashier when she comes back.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to return this.” *shows me the very same fossil toy set*

    Me: “Oh, yes, I remember. Would you like me to help you find a dinosaur toy to get instead?”

    Customer: “You? God! Look, missy, he just didn’t like them because they weren’t scientifically accurate, okay? These are dinosaurs! They lived a thousand years ago! Do you think I’m stupid!?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you clearly are just as intelligent as you present yourself to be.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m glad you realise it.”

    Disobedient Kids Can Leave You Pooped

    | ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Themed Giveaway

    (At our summer camp, we have a new shower house/bathroom building installed. With it came a septic system. The covers of the tanks are simply planks of wood. This causes some kids to walk over the short fence around the leech field, and bounce on the planks of wood. It is nearly lunch time, and I’m with some of my family and co-workers.)

    1st kid: “Woo!” *starts bouncing on plank*

    Mom: *shouting at 1st kid* “Hey! Get out of there!”

    (The wood slides around, and his leg falls into the tank.)

    1st kid: “Eww! What is that?”

    Mom: “You see that building behind you?”

    1st kid: “Yeah?”

    Mom: “That’s the bathrooms”

    1st kid: “Yuck! I just fell in poop?!?”

    Mom: “Yep.”

    1st kid: *running to clean himself off* “Eww!”

    (A short while later, a 2nd kid starts bouncing on plank.)

    Mom: *looks at 2nd kid* “Get off of that!”

    (As she turns her head around, we all hear a splash.)

    Mom: “Did he just…?”

    Younger brother: “Yep.”

    (With that, my 5’10 younger brother runs to the tanks, and pulls the kid out, with one hand.)

    2nd kid: *visibly shocked* “What was that?”

    Younger brother: *plainly* “That was poop. You need to take a shower”

    2nd kid: “Okay…” *starts heading to campsite”

    Mom: “No. You need to shower in your clothes, and then head to get new clothes, then shower again.”

    2nd kid: “Okay…”

    (After he gets in…)

    Older brother: “I bet he’s going to have a crappy day.”

    (We all look at each other, and laugh at the pun he accidentally made. We continue on with it.)

    1st coworker: “A really crappy day.”

    2nd coworker: “He’s going to be in deep doo-doo.”

    Me: “Yep. Waste deep.”

    Coworker: “No, he’s swimmin’ in da poo-l!”

    (I am signaled that I am needed elsewhere.)

    Me: “This is a crappy conversation; I’m leaving.”

    Un-Sue-table Parenting

    | IN, USA | Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I walk out to the dining room and see a kid, about five years old, running on some of our booths. I walk up to the mother.)

    Me: “Ma’am, please stop your kid from running on our booths. It’s not safe.”

    Mother: “He’s just having fun.”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s not safe, and I’m asking you to stop your kid.”

    Mother: “He’s just playing. He’s not going to get hurt.”

    (This goes on for several minutes.)

    Me: “Fine, then this is your disclaimer.” *turns to a regular customer* “You’re my witness.” *to the mother* “Ma’am, if your child falls and injures himself then we at [restaurant] hold no responsibility. We are not liable for any medical costs that may result in him injuring himself in our store.”

    Mother: “You can’t do that.”

    Me: “I have told you multiple times to stop your child from engaging in such dangerous activities and you have ignored me. Have a nice afternoon.”

    (I turn and walk away.)

    Mother: *to child* “Sit down now before you hurt yourself!”

    The High Cost Of Racism

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids

    (A customer is with my coworker, and seems to be acting rude. I come over to see what is happening.)

    Coworker: “Your total is $48.76.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not! This is supposed to be on sale!” *shows an old coupon for different store*

    Coworker: “We cannot accept that.”

    Customer: “No, no no! It’s on sale! You’re incompetent! I knew you wouldn’t’ be any help! You n***** shouldn’t be taking jobs from good, Christian, white people!”

    (At this point, my coworker is on the verge of tears. The customer then grabs random kid, who appears to be 10 or 11.)

    Kid: “Let go!”

    Customer: *to kid* “Don’t you think this lady is mean for taking white peoples’ jobs?”

    Kid: “No, but I do think that you are a idiotic, rude, racist that needs to let go of me right now!”

    (The stunned customer runs out of the store. We track down the kid’s parent, who ended up getting a $10 gift card which she spent on a toy for the kid!)

    Children Take Note Of When You Take Notes

    | Philippines | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Money, Top

    (I am at small cupcake store. I have Php100 (around $2.50), which is the exact amount for the two cupcakes I purchase. Next to me is a shifty woman with two rowdy kids. I order and leave my money on the counter. When I get my cupcakes, the money is gone, so I assume my cupcakes are paid. I’m about to leave, when the store owner says she hasn’t received payment.)

    Me: “I already paid, miss. I left the money on the counter.”

    (She looks down on the counter, and on the floor, but it isn’t there. I am about to take out another 100, doubting if my memory was fine or if the money flew away, when the owner makes a small gaze at the other woman, who quickly notices it.)

    Lady: “So, what? You’re blaming me? Why am I to be responsible for some girl who’s whiter? Does that mean she’s not going to cheat you? She didn’t leave any money on the counter!”

    (In the Philippines, like America, there’s some racism on the skin color as well. I’m unnaturally white for a Filipino, which hints to everyone about my Spanish ancestry. I’m part Spanish, but dominantly Filipino. Anyone with light skin are automatically assumed to be of Spanish heritage while tan and darker are pure Filipino ancestry. Because of the Spanish colonization back in the early day, some still believe that Spanish-lineage people look down on Filipinos. The lady goes on a rant about how hard her life is as a mother of two, and refuses to be a victim of a, as she puts it, a Spaniard. I keep a cool and unemotional face, but the owner, who triggered the woman’s anger, begins cowering. Finally, her little boy, who looks like he would want nothing more than to leave the kiosk and find a bathroom, butts in.)

    Boy: “Mom, I really have to pee. Can’t you just give them back the money you got on the counter a while ago and we can go?”

    (The mom’s face turns red, grabs her bag, dumps a crumpled 100 on the counter, turns on her heel, and leaves with her nose in the air.)

    Me: “Merry Christmas!”


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