November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Family & Kids

Mothers In Disguise

| OH, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I am shopping to get some polos for my mom and my little brother, who are at a concert. I am a 20-year-old woman; however, my voice makes me sound younger. I also love a particular robot franchise. I am searching the toy aisle for a figure that I don’t have, when I approach another customer in the aisle.)

Customer: *huffs, turns to her husband* “Look at her. Can’t keep them together.”

Me: *looks at her*

Customer: “Yes, I am talking about you! You shouldn’t be having children at your age!”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “And how can you afford to spoil your kid? You can’t get a decent job like that!”

Me: *realizing what she is implying* “Actually, I can spoil my kids.” *reaches into my shopping basket to pull out a can of cat treats* “See?”

Customer: *crosses her arms*

Me: “This…” *pulls a buildable figure off the rack* “…is for me.”

Customer: “So immature!”

(I am used to getting criticism for liking the robot franchise, which is aimed at younger boys.)

Me: *shrugs* “So?

(Just then, the woman’s son peers from another aisle.)

Customer’s Son: “Mommy, I can’t find them with the Legos.” *looks at me* “Is that [Character]?”

Me: “Yes, it is!”

Customer’s Son: “That’s the one I want!”

Customer: *turns to face away*

Me: *kneels down to hand it to her son* “Do you have [Other Character]? He goes with [Character].”

Customer’s Son: “Really?”

Me: “Yep! They and [Third Character] make a group known as a trine. They’re best together.”

(The woman’s husband grabs the other character’s box as the woman sulks away.)

Customer’s Son: “Thank you! Sorry Mommy was mean. She said [Franchise] is for little kids and I’m a big boy, but now I know it’s for big girls, too!”

Bored To Death At School

| Long Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working as a cashier when a man and his young daughter (about nine or ten) come in. The girl looks upset.)

Me: *to the girl* “Hi, there! How was school?”

Girl: “I HATE school!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. What don’t you like about it?”

Girl: “Everything, except for lunch and recess.”

Me: “Well, what DO you like? What interests you?”

Girl: *looking me right in the eye and smiling* “DEATH!”

(Needless to say, I was speechless.)

Sweet Sixteen Is A Bitter Surprise

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(When I was sixteen, I was the only girl working at this particular hardware store. While I was scanning another customer’s purchases, and old man slides behind me at the register and whispers in my ear.)

Customer: “I didn’t find what I wanted, but that’s okay.”

(I jerk away from him, because he was quite close.)

Me: “Oh… I’m sorry, sir.”

Customer: *takes my left hand and caresses my ring finger* “Tsk, tsk. Boys don’t know anything these days. A girl like you should already be snapped up.”

Me: “I’m 16.”

Customer: *drops my hand abruptly* “Have a nice day.”

Cannibalism Is Child’s Play

| WV, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(I’m stocking in an aisle in which a customer is also shopping. From a few aisles away comes the high pitched scream of a child. The customer turns and smiles at me.)

Customer: “That child should have been eaten at birth.”

Me: “…”

Doesn’t Want To Provide Proof

| East Lothian, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Religion

(An elderly Muslim woman and her niece, who is in her 30s, are regular customers. They are both very nice people and are always friendly. Today the niece is in on her own and approaches the checkout.)

Niece: “Is my aunt in?”

Me: “I haven’t seen her.”

Niece: “Is her car in the car park?”

(I look as far as I can into the store car park.)

Me: “I can’t see it.”

Niece: “Good. Can I have a litre-bottle of [Cheap Brand] vodka, please.”