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    Category: Family & Kids

    Grand Theft Promises

    | Oxford, MS, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a customer at a video game store, when a mother and her child, who can’t be more than seven, walk in.)

    Kid: “I want these games, Mom!” *hands her several sports games*

    Mom: “Okay, well, we’re gonna get them used because they’re cheaper.”

    Kid: “I also want this game!” *hands her ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’*

    Mom: “Well, here’s a used copy, so I guess it’s okay.”

    Me: *quietly, so the kid doesn’t hear* “Ma’am, I hate to interrupt, but Grand Theft Auto isn’t a game for children. In that game, you can buy a hooker, beat her up with a baseball bat, and steal her money.”

    Mom: “You can do what now? What’s this game about?”

    Me: “It’s about stealing cars and killing people. It’s not a game for children.”

    Mom: *to kid* “Hey! You promise you ain’t gonna do none o’ that?”

    Kid: “YEAH!”

    Mom: “Well, okay then!”

    Polite Touch

    | St.Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am working the register when a young girl of about four or five approaches.)

    Little Girl: “Excuse me, but do you sell bottled water?”

    Me: “We sure do sweetheart; it’s right by the self check out.”

    (The little girl walks over to the coolers and grabs a water. She stops by her mother who is nearby in an aisle and then comes back to me.)

    Little Girl: “I told my mommy I was feeling a bit dehydrated, so she said I can buy this.”

    Me: “You sure can! That will be [total].”

    (She hands me $2, and I hand her her change.)

    Me: “Thank you for being so polite; enjoy your water!”

    Little Girl: “You’re welcome, ma’am. My mommy says you should be polite to people because it makes them happy, and I like to make people happy.”

    (She certainly put a smile on my face for the rest of the night!)

    Face Value

    | FL, USA | Family & Kids, Money, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (The face paint we use at the theme park is water-based, and I have to put it away during one of our seasonal storms. I am currently drying off my station so that I can get back to painting faces.)

    Customer: “Hi, my daughter would like a face paint.”

    Me: “Certainly! Go ahead and pick your paint from the book, and I should be all set up by the time you decide.”

    Customer: “Sounds great!”

    (The customer and her daughter bypass the book and just look at our back wall display instead. The customer sets up all of her stuff right next to our price sign and display, showing the credit cards we accept. I overhear them making their decision.)

    Me: “I’m ready whenever you are! I think I heard somebody wanting a Unicorn Mask?”

    Customer’s Daughter: “Yeah!”

    Customer: “It’s a bit too much…”

    Customer’s Daughter: “But mooooommm!”

    Me: “I can scale it back to a lower-priced version that I think you would both be happy with.”

    Customer: “I think that could work.”

    (I proceed to make the custom face paint, and add all the little touches that they ask for as I go along. When I finish I show, the customer and her daughter are happy with it.)

    Me: “Okay, your total is [total].”

    Customer: “What? You have to pay?!”

    (I point to the credit card and price sign that she’s been standing next to the entire time.)

    Customer: “Geez, no wonder you were so accommodating!”

    (She throws the money at me and storms away in a huff, complaining about having to pay for a face paint.)


    | Greenville, SC, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (Both of my earlobes are stretched to half an inch.)

    Young Girl: *in a loud kid’s whisper* “Mommy, her ears are broken!”

    Mother: *mortified* “I am SO sorry!”

    Me: *laughing* “No, no, it’s fine! That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day!”

    Seen One, You’ve Seen A Mall

    | Washington, DC, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, History, Theme Of The Month

    (I live near DC, so I am used to hearing tourists and tour groups ask very stupid questions. A group of out-of-state high-school kids are walking near me between two museums.)

    Teenage Girl: “So… where are we right now, anyway?”

    Teenage Boy: “In DC.”

    Teenage Girl: “No, I mean, like, where in DC are we?”

    Teenage Boy: “Oh, we’re on the National Mall.”

    Teenage Girl: “Nuh-uh!”

    Teenage Boy: “Yeah we are. Look at your map, right here.”

    Teenage Girl: “No way! Are you SERIOUS?”

    Teenage Boy: “Yeeeah…”

    Teenage Girl: “That doesn’t make ANY sense!”

    Teenage Boy: *silence*

    Teenage Girl: “So, wait… you mean the National Mall isn’t, like, you know… an actual MALL?”

    Teenage Boy: “Nope, but all the grass is 20% off!”

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