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    Category: Family & Kids

    Sins Of The Father, Part 3

    | OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I am the customer in this scenario. I have decided to have lunch at a local muffin/sandwich shop. I finish my order, and a couple comes in behind me with two children. The mother leaves to go to another store, and the children begin to run the length of the store without any input from their father. I finally get my food tray, and am stepping away from the counter, when the older of the two, the son runs into me from behind, full tilt. Barely keeping my balance, I cry out.)

    Me: “Hey! Watch where you’re going, buddy!”

    Father: “Don’t you f****** talk to my kid like that!”

    Son: “Yeah!”

    (The son aims a punch at my more tender areas. I thankfully turn to the side quickly enough to avoid the hit in the crotch, but the son ends up smacking the hard back of the cell phone in my pocket. He falls to the floor, holding his hand and wailing.)

    Father: “You son of a b****! You hit my son!”

    Me: “No… he just—”

    Father: “Someone call the police! That man hit my son!”

    Me: “Look—”

    Father: “I saw you! You hit my son! I’m gonna—” *starts advancing on me with fists clenched*

    (The owner suddenly comes over.)

    Owner: “[Father’s Name], that’s it! I’ve had it! I’ve told you not to let your kids run around here, and now you’re threatening my customers. I don’t care if you’re related to me; I want you and your kids out of my store, now!”

    Father: “But he—”

    Owner: “Remember, [Father’s Name], you installed the video cameras for me last week. I watched your son run into and try to hit this guy. GET OUT!”

    (I didn’t lose my meal, but I was able to eat it in relative peace after the father and the owner finished a protracted screaming match with the father losing and leaving.)

    Related:
    Sins Of The Father, Part 2
    Sins Of The Father

    Aging Badly

    | Exeter, England, UK | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a cinema. One evening on my break, I see my husband’s 13-year-old cousin hanging around outside. I have a feeling that she’s trying to get into a 15-rated film, so when I go back on shift, I tell everybody else I know she’s under 15. She eventually goes to my manager’s till, so I go over.)

    Me: “Don’t sell her a ticket to Silent Hill. She’s my husband’s cousin; I know she’s 13.”

    Manager: “Okay, thanks.”

    (My cousin approaches. She doesn’t seem to recognize me.)

    Cousin: “I’d like tickets for Silent Hill, please.”

    Manager: “I’m afraid you cannot get a ticket for the film. You are not over 15.”

    Cousin: “What the f***?! I’m f****** 15; don’t f****** listen to her! What the f*** does she know? I want to watch the f****** film!”

    Manager: “You’re not old enough to watch it; we know you’re not. Can you move to the side, so I can serve someone else?”

    Cousin: “F*** you! You don’t know s***! I’m watching the f****** film!”

    (My manager goes to my cousin’s friends, who are waiting to the side.)

    Manager: “I’m happy for you guys to watch the film; you’ve got your ID with you, so it’s fine. Your friend can’t watch the film because she’s not old enough.” *to my husband’s cousin* “I’m asking you to leave, and to stop swearing.”

    Cousin: “I’m not f****** swearing!”

    Manager: “Or I can call the police to have you removed? Choice is yours.”

    (She hasn’t stepped foot in the cinema since. That Christmas, she came round to my husband’s parents’ house while we were there. As soon as she saw me, she practically fled the room, because the penny finally dropped!)

    The Little Mermaid Student

    | New Zealand | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a swimming teacher for mainly children under five. It is after the final lesson of the day. I am standing chatting to the parents. A young girl I have just been teaching walks up to me.)

    Young Girl: “Excuse me. What are you doing?”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Young Girl: “Why aren’t you in the pool?”

    Me: “I don’t have anyone else to teach today. You were my last class.”

    Young Girl: “But I thought you lived in the pool. Aren’t you a mermaid, miss?”

    (I have to fight back the laughter as this little girl is completely serious, and is horrified to learn I don’t live in the pool! It’s things like this that make my job worthwhile.)

    Out Of The Dirty Mouth Of Babes

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Theme Of The Month

    (A three-year-old girl is waiting with her family for her turn to see the doctor. She is entertaining herself by singing.)

    Girl: “I wonder what your name is; I wonder what’s your name? My name’s [name]! Hello, hello, hello. I wonder what your name is; I wonder what’s your name?” *approaches my desk* “What’s YOUR name, b****?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Going Off The Deep End

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am a lifeguard at a public pool. While guarding the diving boards, I hear a loud smack from behind me. I turn to see two children who look to be about 10 or 11, standing in line for the high dive, yelling at each other.)

    Me: “Excuse me, is there a problem?”

    Boy: “YEAH! She hit me!”

    Girl: “NO! He hit me first!”

    Boy: “Nuh-uh! You hit ME first!”

    (I look and see that both children have red marks on their face, as if they were recently slapped. However, I have no way of finding out who started this fight.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but—”

    Woman In Line: “Send them to the back of the line! Punish those brats!”

    Me: *to woman* “Don’t worry, ma’am; I’ve got this situation under—”

    Boy: “You can’t send me to the back! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

    (The boy runs off in terror.)

    Girl: “I’m not going to the back of the line! You can’t make me! I’ve been in line FOREVER!”

    Me: “I’m not going to send you to the back if the line. I just—”

    Girl: “I’m not going to the back of the line!”

    Me: “I didn’t say—”

    Girl: “I’M NOT GOING! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME! I’M TELLING MY DADDY ABOUT THIS, YOU F*****!”

    (The girl stomps away to get her father. A few minutes later, a rather large and intimidating man comes up to me.)

    Man: “Look, I’m sorry for how my daughter acted. We’ve been trying to teach her some manners. Don’t worry about it.”

    (Later, I find out that the man called the lead lifeguard, and I got officially commended!)

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