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    Category: Family & Kids

    In Need Of Potty-Mouth Training

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (I’m a cashier at a large store, and it’s nearly the end of my shift. Its fairly busy, and the customer I’m checking out is putting in her information for the check she’s writing.)

    Me: “Okay, go ahead and press ‘okay,’ and then sign.”

    Customer: “Alright.”

    (A couple comes up behind her with a three-year-old boy in the cart, and starts loading their items on the conveyor belt.)

    Young Boy: “F*** off!”

    Customer: “Excuse me!?”

    Young Boy: “F*** off! F*** off!”

    Customer: “Ma’am, shouldn’t you do something about your son’s mouth?”

    (The mother and father look shocked.)

    Mother: “Oh, h*** no! My son can say whatever he wants to some uppity b****!”

    (The customer looks surprised and hurt, and walks off after I give her the check and receipt. The manager comes over.)

    Manager: “Your son needs to stop yelling that to other customers in line.”

    Mother: “H*** NO!”

    Manager: “Then you can leave.”

    (The mother makes a fuss and leaves, while watching me like I have done something wrong. Afterwards, the manager turns to me.)

    Manager: “You wanna go home early?”

    Me: “Absolutely.”

    Wait For The Waiter

    | Erie, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am seated a couple tables down from a mother with her four-year-old daughter. The daughter asks to go to the restroom, and is about to bounce out into the aisle when her mom grabs her arm.)

    Mother: “Honey, look right there. Who’s that?”

    Daughter: “Waitress.”

    Mother: “And what’s she carrying?”

    Daughter: “Tray.”

    Mother: “And do you think she could see you with that great big tray in the way?”

    (The little girl’s eyes go very wide, and she shakes her head.)

    Mother: “You need to watch out and not get in the way of the people who work here, sweetheart. You could get hurt, and they could get in trouble for hurting you, even if it was an accident. Understand?”

    (The little girl nods hard, and carefully looks both ways before starting for the bathroom. The waitress, who was bringing me my food, looks shocked.)

    Waitress: “That never happens. Never.”

    Me: “I bet you that mom waited tables at some point.”

    (The waitress asks when she stops by to check on that family, and later tells me the mother was a waitress for three years in college, and nearly got sued for splashing hot coffee on customers when a pair of kids playing tag in the aisle tripped her!)

    Kids Don’t Want To Be In Deep Trouble

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am about 12 years old. I am on vacation with my family. There is no pool at the hotel in which we are staying, but the hotel staff have told us that they have a deal with the health club next door, and guests could use their pool. While my dad is in a work meeting, my mom takes my 10- and 6-year-old brothers and I to swim in the health club pool.)

    Mom: “Hello! We’re here from [hotel] to use the pool!”

    Receptionist: “You can’t use the pool.”

    Mom: “Excuse me? Over at [hotel], they told me that we were allowed to come over here and use the pool!”

    Receptionist: “Well they were wrong. Guests can only use the pool on weekends, and even then, we don’t allow children.”

    Mom: “Well they told us we could use the pool, so would you mind checking with someone else?”

    Receptionist: “Ugh. I don’t need to check with anyone else! You aren’t allowed to use the pool.”

    Mom: “Well, we came to use the pool, so we’re going to use the pool! Come on, kids!”

    (At this, my mom, who has my 6-year-old brother by the wrist, starts MARCHING towards where she assumes the pool is. My 10-year-old brother and I just stand there in shock.)

    Mom: “Where is the pool?!”

    Receptionist: “You CAN’T use the pool!”

    (My mom has turned around, and notices that my brother and I aren’t following her.)

    Mom: *to us* “What are you doing?! Come ON!”

    (My brother and I just stand there, shaking our heads. Eventually realizing we weren’t going to follow her willingly, she charges toward us and we run out the door. Eventually, we go to the nearby mall instead, and she yells at us the whole way.)

    Mom: “Why didn’t you come with me?! ‘Children, obey your parents!’ It’s in the Bible!”

    Me: “Yes, but you were telling us to do something wrong! We weren’t gonna follow you when you were telling us to do something against the rules!”

    Mom: “But she was wrong, and very rude about it!”

    Me: “But she was in charge, and we still have to listen to her, until someone else tells her she’s wrong!”

    10-Year-Old Brother: “Yeah! We weren’t gonna follow you, because we don’t wanna go to Hell like bad people!”

    6-Year-Old-Brother: “At least you guys had a choice! She was gonna drag me down with her whether I liked it or not!”

    (At this, we all start laughing, including my mom. My mom is still not the best customer, but at least she’s never done anything like this since!)

    How To Cancel Death

    | USA | Family & Kids, Hotels & Lodging, Liars & Scammers

    (I work guest relations for a large hotel chain. One of my duties is to cancel advanced purchase reservations, which have a non-refundable clause.)

    Me: “Guest relations, my name is [name]; how may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I want to cancel my reservation.”

    Me: “What is the confirmation number?”

    (I pull up the account, and run the customer’s membership club information for case history.)

    Caller: “Yes. My wife died suddenly, so I cannot make this reservation.”

    Me: “I’m terribly sorry to hear about your loss, sir. Let me see what I can do for you. Since this is an advanced purchase, we would need a copy of your wife’s death certificate to verify her passing. I’m so sorry to ask for this.”

    Caller: “It will be after the funeral that I can get that to you, but that is after the 24th.”

    (The reservation is for the 24th this month.)

    Me: “I see. May I place you on hold for a moment while I look into some options with the hotel?”

    (After placing him on hold, I review past case history, noticing a lot of cancellations of advanced purchases. One thing seems common. They’re all for wives. All fairly recent, as well.)

    Me: “Sir? Yes, thank you for holding. Sir, how many wives do you have?”

    Caller: “WHAT!? WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME SUCH A QUESTION!? WHY WOULD YOU DISHONOR MY WIFE!?”

    Me: “Well, you see, in looking up your membership information, I see that in the last six months you have cancelled eight advance purchase reservations, all of them stating your wife passed away. So how many wives do you have?”

    Caller: “This is absurd! I want your manager!”

    Me: “I am a case manager, sir, and I am not going to cancel this reservation, nor ask the hotel to honor a cancellation without you providing a death certificate. If she really has passed, then I certainly apologize and am very sorry for the loss, but unless you have been remarried seven times in the last six months, your wife has either passed away previously, and not suddenly as you claimed. Would you like our mailing address so that you can send in a copy of the death certificate?”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m 18, and have been hospitalized for a severe case of mono. As a result of the illness, my throat is badly swollen and I can hardly speak. I’m on lots of painkillers. I’m sharing a room with a boy who swallowed a rock. The boy has been screaming since his mother left and his father can’t quiet him down.)

    Nurse: “Okay, [My Name], I’m just going to check your vitals.”

    Me: *whispering* “How much longer until I can have more pain medication?”

    Nurse: “Not for a while, sweetie.”

    (The nurse leaves. The boy’s father has been watching us the whole time.)

    Boy’s Father: “Listen, you little b****! Don’t you f****** gossip about me to the f****** nurses! You keep your f****** mouth shut, or I’ll shut it for you!”

    (I’m stunned, as I haven’t said a word to or about him. As I can’t move and can barely speak, I’m in tears and terrified. Not long after, my mom comes in to visit.)

    Mom: “Hey, [My Name]. How are you doing?”

    Me: *crying and whispering* “Mom, the dad of that boy screamed at me. He said to shut up, or he’d shut me up.”

    (My mom is silent, but clearly fuming. She leaves for a moment.)

    Boy’s Father: “WHAT DID I SAY?!”

    (Just then, my mom comes back with security in tow.)

    Mom: “Escort him from hospital grounds NOW.”

    Boy’s Father: “B****! You can’t tell me what to do! You aren’t the boss here! I’m twenty-f******-five!”

    Mom: “Actually, I AM the boss here! It’s my day off, but I’m head nurse on this floor, and if you EVER speak to my daughter ever again, I will have you arrested so fast that you won’t ever hear the sirens! And by the way, I’m forty-freaking-eight and I have the good sense not to let my kids eat rocks!”

    (The man was removed from hospital grounds and was banned from re-entering for 48 hours unless it was an emergency. I have the best mom in the world.)

    Related:
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2

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