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    Category: Family & Kids

    Dying For Some Pie

    | PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (It’s the annual Halloween event. I am dressed as Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd, but since the younger kids I watch haven’t seen the movie, I try to explain my costume in a way they can understand.)

    Little Boy: “Why do you have a fake knife? What are you?”

    Me: “I’m dressed as a lady who makes people into pies.”

    Little Boy: “That’s awesome! I wanna make people into pies! Can you make me into a pie? I wanna eat myself!”

    Me: *laughing* “Go down the slide first, then we’ll talk.”

    Put This Con To Bed

    | WA, Australia | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers, Wild & Unruly

    Customer: “I am looking for some cheap beds for my sons.”

    (I look at the two boys the customer has brought with her. One is about 6 years old and very slim, while the other is approximately 13 and massive.)

    Me: “Well, for the little one we have this model…”

    (I show her the cheapest mesh base in the store.)

    Me: “…and for the older boy, we have this model.”

    (I show her a heavy duty reinforced model that is $60 more.)

    Customer: “No, I will take two of the cheaper beds, thanks.”

    Me: “The cheaper model will not stand up to any punishment from the older child.”

    Customer: “No, he isn’t mine. My other son is with a friend and he is about the same size as the little fella.” *points to the slim 6 year old*

    Me: “Okay, but if this is for the older child, we won’t fix any damage he does and won’t refund or replace it.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?”

    Me: “No, I just want you to be aware that it’s not designed for older children.”

    Customer: “Well, it won’t be for an older kid, you idiot.”

    (I take the customer to counter with receipt and warn the manager of her after she departs. Two days later, the customer returns with a broken bed and the two same boys.)

    Customer: “I got this bed two days ago and one is already broken.”

    Me: “Did the older kid jump on it?”

    Customer: “No, you bloody idiot! I told you it wasn’t for him.”

    Me: “Okay then, just go to the front counter and they will arrange a refund.”

    (The customer walks from the warehouse to the front desk. Meanwhile, I talk to the 6-year-old son.)

    Me: *to the 6 year old* “Did your big brother jump on the bed?”

    6-year-old Son: “Yeah, he cracked a sad, jumped on his bed, threw it against the wall and broke it. Now mum has to get a new one so she brought it back.”

    (I walk to the front counter and tell the administration staff to cancel the order.)

    Me: *to the customer* “Please come and collect your broken bed from the warehouse.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** do I want the broken bed back? I came here for a refund!”

    Me: “Luckily, your son is more honest than you are. He told me the truth about the bed, and we aren’t a disposal service for other people’s rubbish.”

    Customer: “F*** you!”

    Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

    The Customer Spent Money But The Child Is Complimentary

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids

    (I work at a big box store in the jewellery department. I am usually the only one there during the mornings. I am also seven months pregnant. I am helping a lady pick out a new watch, with her younger old daughter sitting in the cart. This happens just as the lady is about to pay for her item.)

    Me: “And here’s your change. Thank you for shopping with us!”

    Lady: “Thank you. Good luck with the future baby!”

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Little Girl: “I bet the baby will be pretty because you are pretty like a princess!”

    Me: “Aww, thanks!”

    (I couldn’t stop smiling after they left. Little girl made my week! And my baby was the prettiest baby in the hospital when she was born – nurses even thought so!)

    Moms Can Be Stock-Blockers

    | New York, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

    (Shortly after moving out of my parent’s house, my cell phone breaks. Since the contract hasn’t yet expired, I’m still on their old plan, so my mother needs to come with me to get a replacement. She’s not a nice woman.)

    Mom: “We saw this model phone online and we’re interested in buying it.”

    (My mom shows a printout to the sales girl.)

    Sales Girl: “Oh, I’m sorry, we don’t have this model in our store. But we have this one that’s very similar.”

    (The sales girl shows us a nearly identical phone for only a few dollars more.)

    Me: “Does this come with only [features I want], and would I have to worry about [features I don't want]?”

    Sales Girl: “Yep! It’s nearly the same; it just has a different sized screen and more memory.”

    (We continue talking about the cellphone, with the sales girl answering my questions very nicely and politely.)

    Mom: “No! We want this phone! Go get it! You have it in stock somewhere!”

    Sales Girl: “I’m very sorry; we just don’t have this one. Not anywhere in our stock. We haven’t in some time.”

    Mom: “That’s stupid! It was on your website! You’re supposed to have it!”

    Sales Girl: “It does say that not all stores will stock all models. I’m very sorry. If you like, I can call around and see if anyone has it, and they can have it here in a few days. It is a slightly older model, though, so I can’t make any promises.”

    Mom: “No! I live out of town; I’m only here until tomorrow!”

    Sales Girl: “I’m sorry. Like I said, this one is almost the same, just an updated model.”

    Mom: “I just think it’s very dishonest of you to advertise one thing on your site and then try and scam us into a more expensive phone here.”

    (Bear in mind, I’m the one paying for the new phone and the difference is all of about $10.)

    Sales Girl: “Well, like I said, right here on the page it says in bold italics that not all models will be available in all stores.”

    Mom: “Fine, then! But I’ll be sending a complaint about this! You’re extremely dishonest!”

    Sales Girl: “I’m really very, very sorry…”

    (As I check out and pay, I shake the sales girl hand and thank her for her help. In doing so, I pass her a note that reads: ‘I’m sorry she’s treating you that way. I understand what that feels like and you did your job very well. It’s not you, she’s always like that. This is why I moved out.’)

    From The Mouth Of Babes

    | MI, USA | Family & Kids

    (I work at a major retail store in the deli. Two children aged 8 and 5 come up to order food. The 5 year old is close to touching the lower part of the hot case.)

    Me: “Careful sweetie, this is kept very hot and you could burn yourself.” *to the 8 year old* “You’d be surprised how many people burn themselves on this thing.”

    8 year old: “Well, they all obviously need glasses, because there’s a warning that says ‘Caution: Hot!’ right in front of their faces.”

    Me: “You’re more intelligent than most adults who come up here!”


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