Featured:
  • Retract The Tract
    (2,303 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Category: Family & Kids

    Losing Their Financial Puppy Fat

    | ME, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (It should be noted that I’m a bleeding heart and I cry easily. It’s a really slow night, so I get pretty excited when I see a dad and his daughter, who looks to be about seven, approaching my line. The dad leans in close to me to whisper.)

    Dad: “She’s been saving her money up for a while to buy this stuff. Can you split the payment to do her $8.00 in cash and the rest on my card?”

    Me: “Of course I can! I have to do the cash first, though.”

    Dad: “Perfect. I also have some things to buy in a separate transaction.”

    (The girl starts emptying a small purse of money: a few dollar bills but mostly coins. I’m thinking the girl was saving for some toys and art supplies from our kids’ section but after she’s done emptying her purse, she places on the counter pet supplies: a collar, a leash, our most expensive dog bone, and shampoo.)

    Girl: “I love my puppy, so I’m buying him some presents!”

    Me: “Wow! Gosh, that’s really sweet of you! It must have taken a lot of hard work and dedication to save up this much!”

    Girl: *nodding* “I didn’t buy any candy or anything.”

    (Her father winks at me and nods toward the big stack of junk food he’s placed on the other end of the counter. I grin and start ringing the girl’s order up while she counts. She gets to $8, mostly in pennies, and scoops it all up to hand to me.)

    Girl: “Here, miss. I’d like to pay, please.”

    Me: “I think I can help with that! So that’s $8.”

    (Her dad pays for the rest of the order on his card and then I start ringing up the snacks.)

    Dad: “Thank you for being so patient.”

    Me: “Please, sir, it’s no trouble at all. It’s a really slow night, and I have a dog myself. She could have taken all the time in the world, if she’d wanted to!”

    (The girl giggles and hugs her bag close to her. Father and daughter both thank me, and after they leave my manager approaches me.)

    Manager: “Want to go take five to cry in the bathroom?”

    Me: *tearing up as she speaks* “Yeah, I’d really appreciate that. Thank you.”

    Mother, Daughter, Lawyer, Cry

    | Sweden | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

    (I’ve been told I am extremely scary looking, but I am very kind, especially towards children. My girlfriend has a habit of teasing me for looking so scary. A small child enters the store with her mother. I notice the girl holding a teddy bear and don’t comment on it. My girlfriend is the cashier.)

    Mother: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Yeah? Can I help you?”

    Mother: “How dare you!”

    Me: “… Pardon?”

    Mother: “How dare you treat me like a lesser being?!”

    Me: “I literally said ‘can I help you.’ I work here. It’s my JOB to, y’know, help people.”

    (The mother huffs and hurries off, leaving the girl behind, who was looking at some toys. She panics once she sees her mother is gone.)

    Girl: “Mommy? Where are you?”

    Me: “Aw, h***. Yo, kitten!”

    Girlfriend: “Yeah?”

    Me: “Can you get [Coworker]? Dude should be in the back. Tell him to find the kid’s mother.”

    (I explain how the mother looked. She nods and hurries off. The coworker quickly walks past us with a calm smile. He’s one of my best friends and the only time he snaps is when people are being idiots.)

    Me: “Hey, kid. You want a cookie or something?”

    Girl: “Mommy says I shouldn’t take things from strangers.”

    Me: “Fair point. Come on. Let’s look around, shall we?”

    (I show my hand with a calm smile. She carefully grabs it. I now notice she dropped her teddy bear.)

    Me: “Hey… Where’s your teddy?”

    Girl: “Huh? Oh, no!”

    (She looks panicked. I quickly find it and hand it back to her with a calm smile. She quickly hugs it.)

    Girl: “You’re scary… but nice.”

    Me: “Yeah, so I hear…”

    (The coworker from earlier now comes along with the mother, who is screaming
    loudly.)

    Mother: “How dare you assault my child! You sick f***! I’ll have your a** sued!”

    Me: “For what? For leaving your daughter behind?”

    Mother: “I’ll have your a** sued! I’m a lawyer!”

    Girl: “Mom, you’re a waitress…”

    Parental Misguidance, Part 2

    | WA, USA | Family & Kids, Movies & TV

    (I am working at the ticket counter. One of the movies playing is a PG-13 war movie. A customer walks in with two young girls and an infant in her arms.)

    Customer: “We want three tickets for [movie].”

    Me: “Okay. You are aware that this is a PG-13 movie, correct? It will be somewhat loud and scary for young children.”

    Customer: “You have no right to tell me how to raise my children! I am working very hard to raise them, and I don’t need criticism from someone like you, who never even graduated from school!”

    (I had.)

    Me: “Okay. I’m sorry. Here are your tickets.”

    (She storms off in a huff. Fifteen minutes after the movie has started, she comes barreling out of the theater, all three of her children sobbing. My manager steps forward to ask if she is okay, but the woman brushes past her and out of the building.)

    Related:
    Parental Misguidance

    Mall Of The Living Dead

    | AZ, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Zombies

    (Today the store I work in is staying open later than the mall it’s a part of. Its external entrances are open, but there is a large, heavy metal grate over the entrance that connects it to the mall. I see a young girl walk by the entrance with an older female relative, holding her hand.)

    Girl: “Oooh!” *moves towards the door*

    Older Relative: “No, sweetie. That door is closed. We can’t go into the mall right now.”

    Girl: “No, I was just thinking about it.”

    Older Relative: “Thinking what, sweetie?”

    Girl: “That it’d keep this place really good and protected if the zombies started attacking tonight!”

    Acting Like They Were Born In A Bearn

    | Austin, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, History, Language & Words

    (I work at a renaissance festival, where the workers are required to be in character when interacting with patrons. Two women are looking around the shop while their two boys, about seven or so, are horsing around with wooden swords. Sometimes I play along with the kids, but they’re getting out of control.)

    Little Boy #1: “DIE! I’m gonna get you! I’m gonna kill you!”

    Little Boy #2: “Not if I kill you first! RAAAAAAAAAAH!”

    (The moms look a little resigned to all this and don’t say anything, but now the boys are starting to trip and hit each other so I step in and yell to be heard over them.)

    Me: “Squires! Please take the arts of war outside my shop. We are a peaceful establishment!”

    (They stop dead and look at me, dumbfounded. Then they hastily scoot outside and begin whacking each other again.)

    Mom: “Wow, can you follow us around all day? They haven’t listened to us once!”

    Page 53/178First...5152535455...Last